A.N- This is a rewrite of one of my first fanfics- I went back and noticed how awful the grammar and stuff was but still love the story so I'm going through and fixing it up- adding bits here and there and hopefully finishing it this time around. This takes place before the half blood prince! (In the summer btw) CONCRIT IS DESIRED!

Also- This is Harry's diary, keep that in mind- he doesnt feel compelled to fill in every detail and gap right away, so this just plunges you right in- I will be going back to explain in future chapters- no worries!

Disclaimer- I dont own these characters they belong to J.K Rowling.

Dear Diary,

Bored… Boring! What a freaking Bore. Oh wait… I'm in a mental institution; guess they weren't made for my amusement, such a shame. And hey, it's a muggle institution at that! Can't say its not my fault I landed myself here, after all, maybe if I hadn't pushed everyone away, maybe if I told them the truth... anddd there's thousands more maybes, millions of what ifs and I'm bloody tired of all of them. But I have to set it straight. I have refused to acknowledge how I got here since well…. I got here. But that story is for another time. If I'm going to be honest, I admit I really do belong here, and of course the Dursleys were over-joyed for an excuse to get rid of me, especially since they had to, no one could argue with that, not even Dumbledore. But I wonder, has he even tried to fight on my behalf? Does anyone even know how I ended up in this hellhole? Oh wait, that's asuming they know I'm here in the first place! Trapped like an animal...and do I even care?

Fucking silence, fucking silent roommate… Ha haha, who would have guessed my roommate would be the one who barely speaks, Malfoy. Yes my dearest diary I'm serious. Oh he's much more "insane" than me, but God forbid anyone know, which is exactly why he's stuck here, in a muggle loony bin. It's also a punishment, you see, he failed his father, couldn't be the good little Malfoy. But I guess that's what happens when you hand your kid around to all your death eater friends. I can't imagine what they did to him, they're so derranged and twisted. In his files it says sexually abused, as well as physically mentally, emotionally, oh just about every kind of abuse they know of. And I don't doubt it for a second. Once in his life he stood up to his father, once in his life he wanted to be a human being, and he paid for the decision. Oh boy did he ever.

He never talks, not that I can blame him. At first, I was bitter and sarcastic, the usual, and I'll give him credit- he tried he really did, but it's just not like that anymore. We soon found out each other's problems- of course not from each other, it's kind of weird how an insane asylum has a gossip system just like Hogwarts…. says something doesn't it, wonder what else they have in common. Yeah, so I'm in here for drug abuse self mutilation severe depression, funny the one thing I'm not in here for, paranoia, ha… that's rich. No, it wasn't the fear of Voldermort or intense training or the death of Cedric or Sirius, or anything you would EXPECT, or at least not any one of those things, but maybe a little of each I guess if I'm going to be honest. I would very much like to say it's not my fault, but it is. It was easier not to deal with the pain then try to get over everything that happened. It was easier to push every one away than to face them. Drugs, well they just made everything disappear and when I couldn't get those, physical pain took my attention from the emotional pain.

But nothing will get fixed here, not for Draco or me. Sure, I have problems and I dealt with them in the wrong way but I can't exactly tell the doctors what's wrong now can I? If only I had someone to talk to, maybe I would if- no, not gonna go there. I actually could talk to Draco, we get along, we have to, hate takes too much energy, there's just too much pain involved. But I wouldn't do that to him, I've always hated the feeling of burdening others. He wakes up at night screaming from nightmares worse than any I have ever had- and that's saying a lot coming from me. And get this, for some reason he trusts me, I don't know why, maybe because I'm the only familiar thing here, maybe because I'm the opposite of darkness- the thing that destroyed him.

The nurses and doctors can't get him to eat, talk, move. I can though, but sometimes I refuse. It's a very interesting little relationship me and dear old Malfoy have formed actually. Anyways, back to those nurses and doctors, they get angry and tell me if I cared about him I would help them. Ha- funny, I refuse sometimes because it's for the best. Somehow, I have no clue how, I just know when trying to get him to talk will only make things worse. Right now he's sleeping- you see, he sleeps whenever he damn well pleases, as if going to "group therapy" or meetings with those psycho babble people is much better anyways. We actually spend most of our time in the room, there's some seriously fucked up people out there. The kinds who see things and throw wild fits, and try to convince you that they're God… I'm not even that bad. Oh, what do you know, Draco's up. He wakes up gracefully, as he if he had been lying there planning just how to do it. I know he doesn't though, dont ask how- I just do. Hey, maybe I have gone crazy… better check (of course I write down all dialogue, some conversations around here welll…we'll call them noteworthy)

"Hey Dray, am I insane?"

He tilts his head to the side and softly says "Yes" Since he's been here he always talks softly, gently, in a way I have never heard before, at least from him. I still don't know why.

"Just making sure" I nod

He stares at me, he wants something … something..hmm. This is a game we play, I try to guess what he wants before he's forced to speak, which he dislikes very much. Another change I dont know the exact cause of. I've never asked and I dont plan on it either. We can have whole conversations with him saying only a few words… it works I swear!

"5:20, 40 minutes until supper" I grin idiotically as if someone has just announced Voldermort has committed suicide. Speaking of which, I almost feel bad, knowing while I'm in here, he could be doing whatever he pleases, fuck I do feel bad. But can't ANYONE else do anything?! They act as if I'm the only one allowed to fight him- GOD, can't they just let me retire early? But still... I feel bad, I am a bad Harry Potter, getting myself locked up for all this being insane crap, how VERY un Harry Potterish. Hm. Oops? (Hey, I doubt they've realized anyways)

Draco's squeezing his eyes shut now, shaking his head from side to side. I have quickly relocated to his bed and am writing this with him in my lap against me shuddering. He's trying to repress the power, let me explain- even without a wand he has this incredible unexplainable power that just well, he cant control it. And we don't need anyone asking questions if people just start dropping dead. He never knows why it comes, or how he got it. He really doesn't care. Fuck, guess I'm not such a multitasker after all….

Okay, its over and now Draco lies curled up next to me sleeping …again. It takes so much out of him to try and repress it. Guess he won't be going to dinner tonight, but I know he doesn't mind. If he had it his way he wouldn't eat at all. I'm slightly annoyed that the doctors insist he sleeps so much because of depression and eats so little because of depression and let me guess is so antisocial because of depression too. They are really close-minded. Then again anything they can come up with will probably never come close to what has really caused him to be locked up in some muggle pysch ward, in god knows where, without much complaint. Hell, he's practically a different person, and if you ever knew Draco Malfoy that's saying a lot.

I guess I'll leave you here for now, even though Ive explained pretty much...nothing. Well this way you have something to look forward to, don't you?

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A.N- hope I left really REALLY wanting to know the backstory.