He stopped the car in front his house where we now sat. He turned his head to look at me, our eyes met. His liquid topaz eyes gazed at me, but something left me uneasy. One day left before our wedding.
"Are you okay Bella?" He asked cautiously, changing his expression.
I looked away from him, now out the window, into the sea of green beyond the house.
"I'm fine. Just thinking."
I could feel his eyes studying my face in the window, looking for an explanation.
"What are you thinking about so hard?"
"A lot of stuff."
"Specify please."
"Look, it's nothing. Can we please change the subject?" It wasn't nothing. Tomorrow was the last day with Charlie, with Renee, my last real day as a human.
"Okay. Are you ready to go in? Alice is waiting for you to try out new hairstyles."
I looked over at him. He gave me a crooked smile. I gave a weak smile back, still uneasy inside.
"Fine." I groaned & reached for the door.
The door was suddenly tugged away by Edward. He had already escaped from the car & made his way to my door. His outstretched arm in front of me, I put my hand in his, chills ran up my arm from his cold, marble fingers, now intertwined with mine. Shutting the door behind me, Edward walked to the door with me trailing behind. He came to a sudden stop. Now gazing back at me.
He squeezed my hand as his other arm moved from at his side, gently to behind my back. He pulled me in closer pressing his lips against mine. He pulled away slightly & whispered in my ear.
"I love you, Bella." The cool air blew into my ears.
I stood on my toes & moved my lips closer to his ear.
"I love you too, Edward."
He leaned his head in & kissed me. I took my hand that was not occupied in Edward's & placed it behind Edward's neck. His cool lips were gentle against mine, but his mind was elsewhere – trying to figure out where mine had been earlier. He suddenly pulled away.
"You shouldn't keep Alice waiting." He looked at me with disappointment on his face.
"Why not?" He still held me close, my heart still racing from the kiss.
"Because you don't have much time." He smiled with delight.
"We have all day." I felt like I was missing out on an inside joke or something.
"No. You have until seven."
"What happens at seven?"
"We're going to spend some time together before…" His voice trailed off making me more curious than I already was," I have a surprise for you. I think you'll like it." He grinned at the knowledge he had over me. I stared at him without a smile on my face.
I could not let the worrying thoughts escape my mind. I was unsure of tomorrow, of the day after, of my transformation, of anything. I had no idea of what to expect & now a surprise. How would I be able to handle leaving Renee, whom was so involved with my life before, leaving Charlie, who was so involved in my life now? Aside from what I was leaving behind I feared what would happen in my future. What would happen when I change? Who will I be? My thoughts began to wonder to Jacob when Edward jumped in.
"Are you nervous?" He asked, still trying to find the subject that preoccupied my mind.
"Alice is waiting & we don't have much time." I quickly changed the subject.
Nervous was one way to describe it. Terrified would work too. There was no way to tell him without an overreaction. I couldn't express a doubt in marrying him this close to the actual date. It was all pre-wedding jitters anyway. No point in being so dramatic. Just ignore it & it will go away, though that had not been the case in my past, it would apply here, for my benefit.
"Bella, please." I turned towards the door, his iron-strength hands caught my shoulders & turned me to face him. His hands slid down the sides of my body & met behind my back where he locked his fingers together. He leaned in & kissed me unlike before. He was more passionate, persuasive. He kissed me in way so irresistible. My heart began to race, my face became red, he continued to pull me in tighter, my body bound to his by his hands. I pulled away, gasping for air. He still held me in his arms. I rested my arms on his shoulders & laid my head against his chest.
"You can tell me anything. Please." His cool breath against my hot, red cheeks made me shiver. He was hard to resist, harder when he pleaded with me.
"Edward. It's nothing. Please don't worry about me. Weren't you, Emmett & Jasper going to go out together or something anyway?" I tried so hard to change the subject before he pressed for answers.
His hands separated & pulled my arms down, away from him. I stood on my own, looking down at my feet, glancing upward, back at him, he began to shake his head, grimacing.
"Bella, I really want to know. Why do you have to be so stubborn?" Not knowing began to hurt him.
"Why must you know?"
"Because I care about you. I can't bear not knowing what could be going through your head that has… has…" He searched for words to describe me. "I just want to know. Is that so terrible?"
"Edward. I promise it's nothing to worry about. If I still have it on my mind tonight, I'll tell you." I looked at him wearily, looking for some sort of common ground, an impasse.
"Tonight." He repeated, grasping the words. "Bella, It's just hard not knowing. I want you to be happy."
"I am happy." It wasn't a complete lie. I was happy, just worried, which I'm pretty sure he meant to include, but technically didn't.
"Okay. Just checking." He put his hands on either side of my head & kissed me on the forehead. "Alice will be furious."
"She'll get over it." I smiled up at him, showing I truly was happy. He caught sight & smiled slightly back at me.
I reached for the doorknob when Edward's hand slid underneath mine. He opened the door & gestured me inside. I walked inside & turned around to look at the door. Edward had not followed me.
"I am going out with Emmett & Jasper so I will see you later. Be safe."
"I'm with Alice. No harm can come from that." I smiled & turned only to be greeted by Alice.
"You knew I was waiting." She said very sternly, glaring at me with antagonism.
"Yes." I stated very clearly.
"Come on, we only have two hours."
"Alice, that's plenty of time."
"Aside from the hair, I would like you to try on your full wedding gown. Like a dress rehearsal." She smiled at me persuasively.
I sighed & began up the stairs. I walked into Alice's room only to see my gorgeous white dress, hanging in the wide open closet, shoes laid out underneath to match, a veil hanging beside the gown itself & a couple of arrangements of flowers laying on a table.
"First things first. Let's go into the dressing room & do your hair, then your make-up." She grabbed my hand & dragged me behind her.
When we entered the large room, the first thing I saw was a chair sitting in front of a large vanity with assorted brands & colors of make-up were spread out. She sat me down in the chair & began to brush my hair.
"Aren't you excited?" She asked conversationally.
"Of course." I tried to sound cheery.
"What's wrong?" Alice obviously spotted a flaw in my tone. She reached over me, grabbing a curling iron while waiting for a response from me.
I decided to let my guards down & confide in Alice.
"It's just worrisome thoughts." I tried to shrug it off. Maybe I could. I couldn't though.
Alice began to twist my hair around the hot iron.
"Like what?" She asked mindlessly. I could tell she expected normal pre-wedding jitters.
"I'm worried about my last day with Charlie & Renee. I'm not sure how I will be after tomorrow. I'm worried that something will go wrong. I'm worried that… that maybe… That maybe this isn't right." The last one sounded absurd coming from my mouth.
Alice let the hair in the curling iron drop in shock. It felt like the world just came crashing down. She looked at me in the mirror.
"Bella, do you know what you're saying?" She asked me carefully, still staring at me in the mirror.
Tears began to roll down my face.
"Alice, I don't know what to do. I know I belong with Edward, I know I love him. He's the one, the only one. But now just seems so wrong. There's something missing." I finally realized the one thing missing. The one thing key to show me everything was perfect. He wasn't going to be there. I needed him there. He was practically my brother. He needed to be there. I realized how selfish this request was. How unbearable it would be for him there. I still missed him dearly. It wasn't that I didn't want him, it just wasn't the same way he wanted me.
Alice began to stroke my hair.
"What's missing? Can I help?" Alice sounded desperate. She wanted everything to be perfect. I knew she couldn't get this for me. Anything was plausible, just not this, this, the one thing that I coveted.
"No. It's fine, I'll get along without it." I had to lie to myself. He wouldn't be there. I knew that for a fact. It didn't hurt to dream.
"Are you sure? You seem pretty shaken." She sounded astonished by my reaction. She looked down & began fiddling with my hair, twisting it & curling it around the hot iron.
"So, have you picked out the bridesmaid dresses for you & Rosalie?" I questioned her on a subject she couldn't refuse to talk about, hoping to start a conversation with her to fill the tense silence.
"Yes, I'll show you when I'm done with your hair & make-up." She sounded blank, probably thinking about the missing piece of the wedding.
Minutes passed in silence when suddenly there was a knock at Alice's door.
"Bella, Alice! Are you in there?" The voice I knew to be Rosalie called for us.
"Yes, we're both in the dressing room, Rosalie!" Alice called back to her. "On your way in, grab a bridesmaid dress & bring it in here please."
Rosalie walked in carrying a light rose-colored, floor-length dress in front of her. The dress was so simplistic, yet stunning.
"Rosalie, would you mind trying it on to make sure the measurements are right? I had to guess." Still working on my hair, Alice reached over me for a couple of bobby pins & shot a pleading look at Rosalie. Rosalie nodded & stepped behind the screen.
"Bella, you're going to look stunning when I'm done!" Alice had become more enthusiastic & I was glad.
Alice set the curling iron down & began to twist my hair around. I had the slightest idea of what she was doing, but couldn't see in the mirror.
Rosalie had stepped out from the screen & spun around, modeling the gown for Alice & me.
"Oh Rosalie!" Alice gasped, still holding my hair. "You look extravagant!"
Rosalie only added to the dress' beauty.
"Bella, what do you think?" Rosalie had asked in a curious manner.
"Rosalie, You look remarkable! I love it. Alice you have outdone yourself." I looked at both in the mirror, smiling softly. Rosalie & Alice both smiled back at me, which was extremely comforting.
"If you don't mind, I'm going to change back into my clothes. Do you need any help?" Rosalie's pleasant mood was making a lot of the stress go away, she seemed to calm me down.
"If you could, pick one of the bouquet arrangements in my room for Bella. She's got enough to do focus on the details. That is if you don't mind Bella." She looked up from behind my head & looked for my approval. I nodded. Rosalie stepped behind the screen once more & changed.
"Your hair is complete!" Alice spun the chair around, facing me sideways. I could see my hair pulled back in a bun, locks of curling hair bobbing down.
"You look gorgeous, Bella!" I was shocked to hear Rosalie. Alice smiled, content with her work.
My chair suddenly spun around once again.
"No time to gawk, make-up next!" Alice was thrilled, but followed her schedule precisely.
Rosalie walked past us, glancing once more at me before exiting the room. I could see her in Alice's room where she hung her dress up neatly & walked over to the table displaying five different arrangements of flowers.
Alice now appeared in front of me, holding a brush & a compact filled with a shade of blush.
"It would be great if we could give your cheeks a little color." She began waving the brush around my face, I sat with my eyes closed, thinking. What could Edward possibly have for me tonight? My mind began to wonder from the most frivolous things to the most peculiar subjects.
The brush was lifted from my face, I felt something under my eye.
"Open your eyes & look up. Hold very still, your eyes will be amazing!" Alice continued with the compliments. She started adding black eyeliner to me. I had never been so made up before. It felt… different.
"Blink." I let down my eyelid & up again.
"Okay, almost done, sit still for one more second." Alice got out a lipstick that was a light shade of pink, slightly darker than my own lip shade. Twisting the lipstick, it emerged from the tube. She gently let the lipstick glide across my lower lip, then across my upper lip.
"Press your lips together please." I did as she asked & smiled back at her. She took a step back gazing at me. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had to admit, though different, Alice had worked a miracle on me. I looked back at Alice who was now holding a long white gown.
"We only have about an hour, I would like you to practice going up & down the stairs a few times to save you from embarrassment. So please change quickly." I stood up & took the dress into my own hands. I hadn't realized how heavy the attire was. I walked swiftly over to the other side of the screen. I quickly slid off my own clothes & stepped into the white gown. I pulled it up & stepped out in front for Alice to see.
"Let me zip the back for you." Alice came to my aid & pulled the zipper up in the back for me. She gestured me to a stool in front of three mirrors. I walked over & stepped up on the stool. She knelt down in front of me, her hands gently slid down the dress, perfecting it. She stood up & stared at me. I gently turned & looked at myself in the mirror.
The long, white, satin dress was perfect. No other way to describe it. It was strapless & plane white with some vintage lace that Alice had added. I turned to see Alice with tears in her eyes.
"Alice, are you alright?" I asked, wondering what was wrong. If anything I thought she would be full of excitement.
"Yes. Everything is perfect." She looked at me quietly. "Bella, I just want your day to be perfect. Nothing will go wrong, so if you need anything, anything at all! I will get it." She promised with such determination. I nodded.
"Damn it!" Alice left the room briefly & came back with white heels in her hands. She set them down in front of the stool.
"Alice, I'm going to kill myself walking down the stairs in these!" I protested the shoes, but she made me step into them. They weren't terrible, just felt very risky. Alice led me down the hallway, to the top of the staircase. I looked down, terrified of falling.
"I'm not going to let you fall. Just try to walk down gracefully & I'll be here if you fall." Alice reassured me it was ok to walk, & she was there to keep me safe. I felt like I was a toddler, learning to walk.
I lifted up the dress slightly & picked up my foot carefully. I slowly moved my foot down onto the next step with a sigh of relief following my foot on another solid platform. I continued to walk down the stares slowly & carefully. I reached the bottom, greeted with a smile from Alice & Esme.
"Alice, do you mind if I have a moment with Bella?" The soft soothing words came from Esme as she looked at me calmly.
"Sure." Alice looked to me," Bella, I'm going upstairs to talk with Rosalie. Come up when you're done."
I nodded & suddenly saw Alice disappear before my eyes. I turned to look at Esme.
"Bella, you look magnificent!" Esme stared at me in awe. I could feel my cheeks turning red in embarrassment.
"Thank you." I replied quietly, unsure of what she had asked to see me for.
"Bella, I'm really happy for you & Edward. I just wanted to give you something that was very special to me as a young girl." Esme held out in front of her a long black, velvet box. I took it into my hands & carefully lifted the top of the delicate box. Inside laid a small white gold chain with one heart dangling from the chain. She lifted the necklace up, showing it off in front of me.
"Esme, it's gorgeous. Are you sure you want me to have it?"
"Of course. It's a gift." She took the box from hands & gently lay the sparkling necklace down to lie. She handed the box back to me, I held it tightly in my grasp.
"Bella, this was mine when I was sixteen. My father gave it to me as a birthday present."
"Why are you giving it to me?"
"Because you deserve it. You have made a lot of decisions recently." I looked down at the box in my hands. Trying to decide what to make of the words. I conclusion that she would be like Rosalie, trying to talk me out of my decision to become a vampire, or like Emmett, thrilled that I was.
"Specifically your commitment to become one of us. I'm not saying I do not like or dislike your decision. I respect it, mainly because you made the decision & not someone else.
"When I was young, I had received a marriage proposal from a young man named Charles Evenson. He appeared to be a fine man, but not for me.
"I had wanted to move west & become a school teacher, but my father didn't approve.
"He thought I would be better off with settling down with Charles & starting a family. Though it wasn't my decision, I eventually married Charles when I was twenty-two, but was not exactly proud.
"He was a very respectable man to the public eye, but at home was another story.
"When I confided in my parents, they counseled me to be a good wife, but made me swear to keep quiet of our marital problems.
"Soon he was drafted into the war, which was great relief upon me. I felt safe & secure, though it was short lived.
"Shortly after his return, I found out I was pregnant. I looked to this as my escape. I ran away to Milwaukee to live with a second cousin, but soon moved north when my parents learned of my location.
"I became a school teacher just outside of Ashland, pretending to be a war widow. When I gave birth to my baby, I learned he was born with a lung infection & died shortly after."
I could hear Esme's voice fill with sadness as she continued with her tragic story.
"I was heartbroken. I found no reason for life without a family or a child. I sought for a way out.
"I came across a cliff just outside of town one day & was tempted. I jumped & the rest was black from there.
"The next thing I remember was the pain, the burning feeling that ran through my body. I was relieved when I saw Carlisle.
"I had first met him when I lived in Columbus & I had fallen out of a tree & broken my leg & he was to treat it. He had left town later that month, but I had never forgot the care he had given me.
"I look back now & realize that life is about the decisions we make, effect our outlook on life. That is why I want you to realize the importance of every decision you make & the impact it has on your life. Not to say one decision has been wrong or right, but I want to give you awareness on the importance." I looked back into Esme's eyes with mixed emotions, unsure of what to feel. I took a step towards her & embraced her.
"Thank you." I whispered. I released her & realized how much time had passed.
"I better let you get back to Alice, I bet she's frantic."
"Yeah, probably."
I slipped off my shoes & carried them upstairs, feeling safer as I ventured the steps. I reached Alice's door & walked inside.
"Finally! It took forever for you to come upstairs. Look, we don't have much time, Edward is on his way home right now."
"What time is it?" I asked. Surely we had at least an hour left.
"Six forty-five. Get changed fast & bring everything back in here, I'll put it away while you're out."
I walked to the dressing room & changed promptly, taking the utmost care of everything. I lifted up the dress, feeling very hurried & frantic, I brought it into Alice's room, hanging it in the closet for her. I walked back into the dressing room, grabbing the shoes, when I glanced at myself in the mirror.
"Oh crap!" I said quietly to myself.
Alice was all about secrecy. She didn't want Edward to know anything about the wedding that concerned me. I had to do something to hide this.
I ran back into Alice's room, set the shoes in the closet & shut the door. I looked around, no Alice to be found. I ran back into the dressing room & looked in the mirror. I put my hand in my hair, trying to pull out the several bobby pins, holding my hair together so perfectly. My hair fell down at the release of the last two pins. I set the pins down in the box she had got them from & looked for a tissue on the vanity. I finally found a box & ripped one from the top. I gently turned the handle on the sink & let the water run slightly on top of the tissue. I turned the water off & wiped my face several times, before my face was finally clean. I looked at myself in the mirror. My face was slightly wet, my hair still partially curled, but all in all, I looked pretty normal. I walked calmly into Alice's room, to find that she still wasn't there.
I walked downstairs, where Alice met me at the bottom.
"Bella, he's around the corner. I'm glad to see you thought to take your make-up off & your hair down before your date."
"I did it just for you." I smiled brightly when I heard the door opening.
Edward was first to walk in with Jasper & Emmett following.
Edward walked over to me & kissed me on the forehead.
"I'm glad to see you're ok after two hours with Alice." He put one arm around my waist, in exchange I put one around his back.
"It wasn't complete torture." I said jokingly, looking back towards Alice now in Jasper's arms.
"It was beneficial." Alice stated proudly.
Edward looked down at me with adoring eyes & his perfect, crooked smile.
"Let's go. I've got one surprise before we leave." He said as a matter of fact.
"Really?" I asked in a voice of disbelief.
"Yes."
"And what might that be?" I asked very calmly.
"You're driving." He said, still with a smile.