Author:

I enjoy writing the characters of Twilight in abnormal ways, so I wrote this.

Enjoy

"How did we end up here Isabella," my voice rang out to speak to none other than myself.

A heavy sigh released from my lungs, but was interrupted midway by a hiccup/burp that tasted like the shots of tequila I had practically inhaled hours ago.

Eventually those shots caught up with me and now here I was hidden in a private lounge room at a club.

I grunted at the room hoping it would signal that as a command to stop spinning, but around it went, even in my stationary position.

Would a fetal position suffice?

One slight movement and the alcohol induced carousel increased speed, so back down I went.

Tears began to well my eyes at the memory of my best friend and I discovering that her boyfriend of six years had been unfaithful. Alice walked in on Jasper - who was admittedly heavily intoxicated – undressing, an also heavily intoxicated woman. In any other circumstance, I would without a doubt say that if I were Alice I would've killed them both, because no excuse and amount of alcohol pardons the sin of infidelity.

But since it was I that Jasper was trying to undress, I'm really trying to paint myself as the victim. Of course there are no valid circumstances, no acceptable excuse.

Yes, we were drunk.

But we were also acknowledging an itch that both of us had tried to ignore well before there was an Alice and Jasper.

Like two goofs we decided that if we scratched the itch before their relationship started that would be all we needed. We spent an entire weekend together, bumping uglies in the most ugliest yet beautifully orgasmic way. And then Jasper belonged to Alice, she had expressed interest in him and Jasper truly liked her in return. And yet between us was a sexual tension that was thicker than an unkept unibrow.

I thought one weekend was enough, until three years into their relationship Alice was dumb enough to leave us alone while she ran off to work. It would have been fine but we forgot for a split second that he had a penis and I, a vagina. We took part in our usual playful banter that turned physical as it always did, except minus Alice. She was the magnetic force field that blocked all sexual attraction between us, so of course it seemed as if we were over it.

Until Jasper had me pinned onto the ground, arms twisted uncomfortably behind my back in a hold, while he drilled into me a message that was loud and clear.

'I'm a piece of shit. And so are you.'

Was that the last time?

Absolutely not, I'm a piece of shit and when two turds unite, they create an ever bigger pile of stinky shit.

Every chance we got, we screwed each other relentlessly. For two months straight I further cemented the doom of my friendship with Alice by allowing the love of her life to shove his face between my legs and send me through the roof of my condo and not ashamed of letting my neighbors know who was responsible.

Did I feel guilty every time I saw them together?

Is the fact that Pluto is no longer a planet bullshit?

It was only Jasper that kept me from confessing my betrayal. And to make myself an ever shittier person, it wasn't his words. It was his dick, his tongue and fingers that kept me silent.

Eventually we realized that we had to stop or I should say we always knew we had to stop and just finally put some will power into it. As much as we loved the feeling of him inside of me, we loved Alice more.

So with a final thrust and wig snatching orgasm, we called it quits.

Until the very night Alice once again left us alone, but this time with Vodka. Honestly, we made it three years! Which was the same as last time, but still! It was hard knowing the damage Jasper was capable of, three years of denying myself was difficult work.

And apparently it was with shots of liquid stupidity that we both wanted to recognize our efforts by getting naked and rewarding ourselves in the only way we knew how.

In steps Alice, who leaves without a word, only tears in her eyes.

I was supposed to run after her, but my legs were jelly and my clothes were gone.

That was two weeks ago, nothing from Alice and Jasper is my best friend and now my roommate. Reaching out to Alice was pointless, what reason would we have to speak? What would be said?

'I'm sorry I had sex with your boyfriend.' I'm not really sure I am.

But guilt drowned my conscience nonetheless, so alcohol was the solution to numb my feelings. It never worked, but it was a nice temporary distraction.

Jasper walked through the door and watched my drunken state. I smiled up at him.

"You found me!" My stomach responded negatively to sitting up too quickly, the urge to vomit came so fast I didn't have a chance to decide where I would upchuck my insides. Jasper's shoes, that's where all the liquor and French fries ended up.

I fell back onto the couch, Jasper could only sigh.

"You have to take responsibility for me, it's your fault I'm like this." I mumbled. "I mean, why are you so good at sex? Was Alice not enough? Why'd you have to drag me in it?"

"Let's go home," Jasper grabbed my arms, pulling me effortlessly onto my feet and onto his shoulder. The movement caused the room to move even more violently, my eyelids shut tight as I tried to gather my bearings.

The next time I opened my eyes, the sun seemed to have gotten ten times brighter because it felt like it was trying cook my eyeballs right out of their sockets.

Being greeted by the all too common side effects of having too much to drink was starting to irritate me. I didn't enjoy the feeling of my head about to explode at any moment.

The door to my bedroom opened and Jasper looked down at me, his mouth turned downward.

"I don't want your pity," I snatched the covers over my head.

"Come eat." He shut the door.

I groaned. I knew I smelled bacon, either that or I was having a stroke. I'd be satisfied with the latter all the same.

My club outfit was swapped out for a bra and shorts and I didn't smell like vomit. I sniffed my hair and it smelled like shampoo. I had been bathed.

"Damn you, Jasper." I shuffled out of my room and into the kitchen. He was caring when I was trying to hate him. I was failing miserably.

I parked myself onto a bar stool at the counter and Jasper sat a plate filled with grease and carbs in front of me. I dove right in, shoving the bacon into my mouth, followed by pancakes and eggs.

He watched me, propped against the counter, arms crossed and so damn beautiful. His light brown eyes didn't hold anything telling of his current mood, but the scruff that was on his jaw and chin told me he hasn't cared too much to maintain his physical appearance. He wasn't a prissy man, but he did take pride in his outer appearance and how the world saw him. His build was lean, but he maintained physical excellence by a disciplined regimen of exercise and diet, his frame was deceptive. He was a lot stronger than he looked. Jasper stood at least four inches over me and was currently sporting a man bun positioned low at the nape of his neck, his hair barely long enough to pull off the look.

"You can't keep getting drunk at my job, me carrying out a drunk woman every week isn't the greatest look for me."

"But it's the same woman," I argued. "I think it shows your caring side, you could just leave me there."

"To drown in your own vomit?" He arched an eyebrow at his rhetorical question.

"Sounds like a plausible way to go out," I shrugged, chugging the glass of orange juice that accompanied my breakfast.

"You're the owner of the place, what are you gonna do, get fired?"

"Or ban the woman that drinks all my liquor and then passes out in my V.I.P. rooms."

He looked pointedly at me, his high cheekbones and narrow nose actually making his appearance sort of threatening. But I knew better, we've known each other since grade school. Mostly bark, with some bite.

"Is that how you repay my kindness? I let you move in and in return you kick me out of your club? I'll just go to the other one. I'm sure Edward would enjoy my company more."

At the sound of his co-owner and friend's name he scowled. One thing Jasper is: jealous. And he didn't hide it either. We weren't in a relationship and I'm sure we never would be, at least I think so. But Jasper knew that Edward liked me (Not that Edward was subtle about it), also Edward didn't know I was Jasper's sex toy. Or so I assumed.

"Does Edward know?" I asked Jasper, as he took my happy plate.

"What? That I make you scream my name in five different octaves? Maybe."

They're best friends. Why wouldn't he know Bella? The only reason I didn't tell my own best friend was because…I was a piece of shit.

"Suck it up Swan, we have to face the consequences. We hurt her, bad. Let's give her some more time, apologize and move on."

"You're not sad? Heartbroken? Devastated?" I inquired in disbelief in his apparent apathy.

"I love Alice, but if I truly loved her," he paused. "I wouldn't have milked her best friend all over her apartment."

"Yes, talk about it as if I'm not the cow your referring to." I said in a flat, dry tone.

"We gave it six years, I was going to break up with her anyway."

"Why didn't you just do it," I threw a tantrum, whining and kicking my feet. My head fell onto the counter top.

Unlike him, I hadn't fallen out of love with Alice. She was one of my closest friends and I hurt her, but what's worse is that like Jasper, it was clear I didn't love her enough to stay away from the one thing that was off limits to me.

Jasper and I knew each other before Alice came into the picture. Alice and I met in college and before she even asked Jasper out, she asked me if there was anything between us. At the time it was an honest response, no. Sure I had thought about it, but Jasper hadn't shown any interest either. That was until Alice went away to visit her parents and Jasper came over and took me in every room and every position for three days straight and then left as if nothing happened. And for three years we did pretend nothing happened, until we relapsed, stopped again and now here we are.

It was complicated. So complicated that I didn't even know what was happening.

But I knew I needed to apologize to Alice. Even if we never speak again, she at least needed to know that I was sorry. Sorry she got stuck between two assholes that didn't deserve her.

I slid off of the stool and walked back into my room. It was going to be a lazy Saturday for me, the plan was to see if it were possible to die by death of sunbathing. Sprawled out on my patio, I began to test the theory. The California sun was bare just like my disloyal deeds, not a cloud in sight.

After only thirty minutes, it was decided to no longer run from the fact that I was an adult with responsibilities, I begrudgingly got up and went inside to do work. My decision was also heavily inspired by the doofus Cane Corso that lives in my backyard; when he brought his 105 pound frame over and began to try to lick my face, it was time to vacate.

"Bruce, you shouldn't console me right now. Let me atone for my sins."

My dog huffed in response and continued his attempt at covering my face with his saliva. I loved him dearly, but never will I allow him to lick me with the same tongue I watched him use to lick dead animals and his own ballsack.

So I got up and left, going back into my condo with Bruce tagging along.

"I'm off to work," Jasper came from his bedroom, which he didn't even use, only to store his items. He chose to invade my bed every night.

He didn't kiss me goodbye, he barely looked my direction. He just left.

I looked down at Bruce who looked up at me. "I'm just as perplexed as you, he's not my boyfriend, but he sure does have a lot of boyfriend privileges."

I was happily single, my last relationship was abandoned because fidelity was a word I'm not quite familiar with apparently. Unlike Jasper I couldn't cheat on someone I cared about and still remain with them. Mike was a great guy, he was sweet, funny and was everything a girl could ask for. But over the two years of us dating, I felt nothing, he just didn't do it for me. So I broke things off after my second time of sleeping with Jasper. I didn't tell him why, just simply that I couldn't prioritize him the way he wanted me to. Yes, I chose my work and education over him. I spent three long years, not including undergrad and my masters program working towards my research in clinical neuroscience. To attempt a serious relationship was foolish to begin with, but in the beginning I was hopeful and Mike was persistent. So I caved and allowed him to take the backseat and my work rode shotgun, scratch that, Mike was in the trunk, I barely invested in him.

He complained early on and continued to complain, but he never broke up with me. Eventually I wanted him to, which should've been my incentive to end things with him, not penetration from Jasper Whitlock.

When I did break up with him, he didn't fight, he didn't ask why. He stood from my couch and left; I hadn't heard from his since.

I'm not lonely, of course at one point I missed sex, but I was content.

In strolled Jasper and his knack for making me cum. Once again, we never spoke of seeking a relationship, for some odd reason we just wanted to use each other sexually. And it wasn't always like that, when we were younger we behaved almost like siblings. We got dirty together, fought together (mostly it was between ourselves), got in trouble by our parents, he even nearly killed me by pushing me from a tree. Up until college I could've sworn I just imagined Jasper was like a Ken doll; he had no male parts.

And then wham! He's this tall piece of meat that I just want to hump at all times of the day. And now I do.

How did I even get here?

When Jasper returned home, it was five in the morning and I was working on grading papers for one of the classes I instructed at UCLA. While I pursued my doctorate there, I was required to teach in exchange for a stipend and funding for my research. It was something I actually desired unlike most of my colleagues. I was interested in the work of those who were pursuing Psychology in their undergraduate program, it wasn't forgotten that I was once in their shoes.

My sleep schedule was knocked off on the weekends by my new roomie, since he worked from the late afternoon into the early mornings Friday into Sunday, he would come home and disrupt my sleep so that he could get his rocks off or simply annoy me with conversation.

So I quickly learned to get my sleep while he was gone and then remain awake for when he came home.

"Papers?" He said while stripping from his clothes.

I nodded, staying focused on my laptop at my desk. He disappeared into the bathroom and I heard the shower go off, I took the moment to take Bruce outside.

Bruce got up from his spot next to me and followed me, suddenly rushing outside to chase the squirrel that was minding its own business moving across the lawn. I shut the door behind him and went back to my bedroom, noting the last paragraph I left off on the paper I was grading.

When Jasper came out of the bathroom, he was drying his hair, a towel wrapped lazily around his waist. I licked my lips, I was waiting for the moment I would get tired of him.

It still hadn't arrived, I craved him just as much as I did when I first realized he had a penis.

"How was work? Carry any drunk women out?"

"Fortunately no, she didn't appear and projectile vomit on me."

"Thank goodness, even though projectile is an exaggeration."

He looked at me, with his typical lazy gaze, but I caught the message of 'Don't test me'.

"We had a guest DJ, so we were busier than usual."

Elysium was one of the clubs he co-owned with Edward, his college roommate. Styx was the other establishment he owned, but was overlooked by Edward. They both had a weird fascination with Greek and Roman mythology, hence the the titles of their clubs.

Jasper had decided half way through obtaining his law degree that he didn't want to be a lawyer like his father. He's been estranged from his parents ever since, but he couldn't stand the idea of helping people who deserved to be punished and detested the idea of convicting the potentially innocent just as well. The politics of law was too much for him, so he quit even with being at the top of his class.

Edward Masen has a similar story, except he finished his medical program and was about to start his residency when his parents were killed in a car accident on their way to his commencement. He never went back after that, choosing to pursue a career somewhere else that didn't remind him of his parents' untimely demise.

Together they ran two of the most successful nightclubs in the downtown Los Angeles community, garnering attention from celebrities to college students.

"Mom called me," he informed me. "She wants to know when we're coming over for dinner."

"Renée could've called me and asked me herself," we both knew my mom didn't call me because I wouldn't have answered, I was terrible at communication with her.

Jasper was like a son to her, so she spoke to him often and sometimes to check up on me.

"Soon," I said checking my emails on my phone.

Jasper crawled onto the bed, moving into the space between my legs.

"She said 'soon' is not an acceptable answer." He moved my arms out of the way, smacking my phone from my hands to capture one of my nipples between his teeth, how he managed to find it over my t shirt was beyond me.

He removed his towel and grabbed one of my legs, pulling me downward so that I lay beneath him.

"Can we not talk about my mom while we have sex? That's the quickest way to ruin the mood."

He took off my underwear and shirt, so he was no longer the only naked one.

"Why? Don't want her to know you're screwing your brother?"

"That's a terrible joke, you're making it worse."

He wasted no time in reuniting us, we moaned in unison. My legs naturally wrapped around him, the rhythm of my hips in sync with his. His tongue and mouth found my nipple again, playing with the hard nub with his teeth.

Fuck, he knew exactly how to work my body, like an instrument, he played the hell out of me.

Before finding his own release I had mine several times over, even after a long night of dealing with drunkards and obnoxiously loud music, Jasper got all the way home and sexed me up.

As he slept, his head resting on my stomach, I pondered on if that meant something. Was there something between us that neither of us was acknowledging or was it just me that was missing it?

From the outside looking in Alice and Jasper were happy, even in their dark times, they seemed to be meant for each other. I never looked at Alice with envy or felt she had something that was mine. So why was it easy to tear them apart? Why didn't I resist? Honor my dear friend? Even now, I shouldn't be in bed with him, if I had any sense of morality I would've ended this the moment we were caught.

My hand found Jasper's hair, I twirled a few strands around my finger. He slept peacefully on top of me, I noticed that he had even shaven.

He was moving on.

But towards what?

That was the answer I needed to know from him and I wouldn't be able to think clearly until I got it.