Oh, he's slim… And a little bit foxy. You thought so, too. I've been inside your head. You've been looking. You like it.
Those words that Cassandra had said so bluntly were ringing through her mind as Rose and the Doctor made their way back to the TARDIS. The Doctor was doing that thing where he talked a mile a minute and expected you to follow along. Rose knew he was talking but she wasn't listening. She was staring at the words burning in her mind. She supposed that Cassandra had only been telling her something Rose already knew to be true, but she had tried to fight it. After all, how could a relationship like the one they had together work? She is human. He is alien. She will grow old. He will remain young for all eternity.
"Rose, are you listening to me? Earth to Rose…"
The girl with blonde hair pulled herself out of her mind and focused on the man in front of her, the beautiful, strange man with two hearts and a pretty blue box. "I'm sorry, what?"
The Doctor chuckled and mumbled under his breath, "Oh, Rose… What ever will I do with you?" He put the key to the TARDIS in the lock and nudged the door open. He looked at Rose, waiting for her to enter before him. She stood there, her beautiful face flushed. Her deep brown eyes were unfocused and a little watery. He was afraid Cassandra had done damage when she possessed Rose's body. She had possessed his body, too… But he was the Doctor, and Rose was a mere human. She's my human, though! the Doctor thought. He took hold of Rose's clammy hand and pulled her inside.
The Doctor had Rose's back to the door when he cupped the back of Rose's neck with both of his hands and linked his fingers together. He stooped down so that their faces were level, and he looked into her eyes. He scanned her face for signs of anything wrong. He knew that something was wrong, but what? He could feel her heart pounding in her chest. He could see the heat rising in her reddened cheeks. He knew that she would never tell him. He had to find out on his own.
"Rose, listen to me. You have to let me check your mind. Cassandra was swimming around in there, and I have to check it out to make sure everything is as it should be."
"Doctor, I'm fine!" Rose said as she tried to remove his hands. His left hand remained on her neck while the other hand slid up to caress her cheek. His fingers felt good on her burning face. Her resistance slowly melted away, but she knew she would have to find something else to focus on. He couldn't know the truth. The truth would ruin everything, and she didn't want to lose what she had. She couldn't lose the Doctor. For as long as she lived, her life was here, with him.
The Doctor placed both of his hands on her face, and while Rose closed her eyes he was transported into her mind. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he was pleasantly surprised at what he found. He could feel her resisting, and he wasn't going to snoop around in places he wasn't welcome. He wouldn't force that on her. But he had to find out what was wrong, if any damage had been done to her mind.
He found himself at the entrance of a long corridor. The floor was polished a deep shade of mahogany. The baseboard and crown molding were made of wood and complemented the color of the floor. The only movement in the corridor was along the walls. No, it was the walls. He narrowed his eyes and looked closely, only to realize that the walls were made of memories – videographic memories. They all seemed to blend together. He reached out his hand and hesitated mere inches away from the wall, unsure of what would happen. He tapped the tip of his slender index finger against the wall and a singular memory expanded into a large square. The memory had become still, but plastered over the blurry image was a circle with a tipped over triangle inside it. The play button. I could watch all of her memories like a home movie… he thought for a moment, and wondered briefly if he was trespassing. He felt no resistance, so he took a chance and tapped the play button and took a step back to get a better view.
He watched in rapt attention as the memory unfolded before him. It was a simple memory, a happy memory. A part of him wished that he had known Rose when she was younger. He knew that going back in time and watching her grow up would be wrong, and slightly creepy. He tapped the memory again and it shrank back to its original size and joined the constant flow of all the others. Time to move on, he thought.
The Doctor ignored the movement of the walls and began to progress down the corridor. It was lined on either side with vast, solid oak doors with ornate carvings surrounding a gold nameplate. The gold nameplates were engraved with elegant script. His progression down the corridor was slow as he swiveled his head left and right to read the words on the door. Each door held a specific genre, and he walked by doors with titles of: Mickey, Mum, Work, School. There was nothing out of the ordinary until his eyes noticed a glow coming from the door at the very end. His eyes narrowed suspiciously at the white light shining out from under the door. He stopped in front of it; he planted his feet just out of reach of the light and examined the door carefully. The shade of the door was a richer color than all the rest. The doorknob alone was something to behold. The other doors held carvings surrounding only the gold nameplate, but this door was a canvas for the most beautiful, intricate design anyone could create. He noticed with curiosity that there was no nameplate. The other added difference to this door was that there was a large padlock.
"What are you hiding?" the Doctor asked slowly. He kept his narrowed eyes on the padlock as he took it in his palm and gauged the weight of it. It was heavy. He gripped his slender fingers around it and tugged, but it held firm. He reached inside his jacket and pulled something from the pocket within: his sonic screwdriver. The blue glow from the end bathed the padlock in its light, and the padlock seemed to fade until the lock disappeared altogether.
The Doctor took a hesitant step toward the door, his navy blue converse bathed in the white light from within this mystery room. He closed his hand over the doorknob and turned it… He took a step inside and realized his eyes didn't need to adjust. The glow was gone and now it was just a room. The walls moved like the corridor, but as he scanned all of the walls he realized they had a common theme. It was him. He walked close to one of the walls and inspected a cluster of videographic memories and kept noticing himself in the movements. His curiosity was intense. He plucked a random memory and watched as it expanded to fit most of the wall. He tapped the play button and waited…
This memory projected happiness, and the sound of laughter filled the room. The Doctor watched himself catch Rose in his arms. He saw the sheer delight on her face, and he remembered how he'd felt at the moment. He seemed like ages before he finally let her go and ended with kissing her hair. He realized that he wanted to replay the memory over and over again. At the memory's end, the room was silent once more. His ears picked up a faint buzzing sound, and he slowly turned his ear toward the sound before facing it completely. That's when he saw it.
There was a podium across the room and upon it, a leather-bound book. The leather was creased and it looked centuries old. He surmised that the glow coming from the book was the source of the light from under the door, and as he drew closer to the podium the buzzing sound became louder and he could feel his body vibrating. He hesitantly picked up the book and the vibrating stopped and the light disappeared. He held the book with great care because it looked so fragile. He opened the book to the first page and noticed how delicate the paper was. It was practically see-through. He started to turn a second page but the book had a mind of its own. It felt like a great gust of wind entered the room, and when the Doctor swiveled his head to find the source, he found nothing capable of making it. He turned his head back toward the book and found it was open on a page near the middle. His two hearts pounded harder in his chest and his skin erupted with a billion tiny bumps as a shiver was sent down his spine. There was only a small block of words written on the page in Rose's handwriting.
The fact is that I love him. I want him. I need him.
I can't live without him.
The Doctor wondered if he'd read those words correctly, and read them several times more. His throat became dry and he had trouble swallowing. This wasn't about him, surely. His denial was futile because he knew the truth. He had to know. He looked around the room; everything it contained had a common theme, and that was him. This was a vast room reserved for him, and him alone. The book snapped shut of its own accord and he could feel himself being pulled back into his own body. His mind was reeling as he removed his hands from Rose; he needed them so he could thrust them through the unruly mop of brown hair. He dragged his fingers back through his hair and down onto his face so he could massage it. When he removed his hands, he found Rose staring at him. Her eyes were completely focused this time. He knew that she had seen what he had seen in her mind. "Doctor?" she whispered. He could sense the worry in her voice. He could see it in her face, the anxiety of what was to happen next. She was afraid of losing him.
The Doctor battled with himself inside his own mind. He supposed he should have known. He should have seen it. There were signs. Had he deliberately been ignoring them? The answer was highly likely. The end result of this would be pain and suffering, he was sure of it. The Doctor looked at Rose. He really looked at her this time, examining her blonde hair, her deep brown eyes, her thick eyelashes, her luscious lips… She was beautiful, there was no denying that. She was his best friend. He cared for her more than he cared about anything in the entire universe. He would never let her go, not as long as he could help it. He would make sure they would always be together.
Rose could see that he was battling with himself, working something out in his mind. She worried that she had messed everything up and should have tried harder to keep that door locked, but she did feel slightly better that everything was out on the table, so to speak. He knew, or at least, had his suspicions confirmed. Rose took an unnoticed step closer to the Doctor and soon he was really staring at her. No, he was examining her. The expression on his face changed. Rose grabbed hold of the lapels on the Doctor's blue suit and pulled him close. Her mouth crashed against his. His body was tense at first, but he felt Rose's arms slide around his neck. He relaxed, and wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her closer to him. Their lips formed to each other perfectly. The kiss was slow but powerful, building and deepening as it progressed. Rose's fingers managed to entangle themselves in the Doctor's hair while the Doctor held Rose close to him by keeping a hand at her lower back and a hand cupping the back of her neck.
The Doctor withdrew his mouth from hers and looked down at her. Rose's eyes flickered open and focused on the Doctor. She slid a hand down to caress his face and he smiled, closing his eyes and pushing his face into her hand. When he opened his eyes again, he spoke softly. "Oh, Rose… I love you, too." Rose resumed her hold on the Doctor's lapels to draw him in for another long kiss. When they withdrew from each other, the Doctor had the biggest, most genuine smile on his face that Rose had ever seen. She kissed his cheek as she passed him on her way to the main console of the TARDIS.
"Let's go somewhere beautiful," Rose suggested. The Doctor turned around quickly on his heel, grinning.
"I know just the place!"