Spoiler warning: Events covered from end of Gundam SEED, and up
to Phase 43 of Destiny. Summary: "Sometimes I wonder, if
we're better off without memories." He didn't know why, but
something in him wanted to remember her. Mwu/Murrue, Neo/Murrue
Italics: ideas, as shown by quotes from various characters in seed and destiny.
Shell
by MapleRose
----
"What is it that we should be fighting for?"
Heh, what a foolish and absurd thing to think about. You follow orders of your superiors and do what you're told. That's how it works. If everyone thinks about that, the military won't be able to function properly. But it seems to fit this vessel, he supposed.
This vessel sure was strange. Even though the crew wore Orb uniforms, they didn't seem to be part of the Orb military, and they fought both the ZAFT and the Earth Alliance. There didn't seem to be anyone to give this ship its instructions. And there wasn't too much of a structure. Even though it had a captain, that woman, what was her name again? He heard it being mentioned, but couldn't quite catch it. Anyway, even though she seemed to be the captain, some decisions seemed to be made by that young boy. This intrigued him, for not only did the captain not seem to mind, she actually seemed to listen to the boy.
What a strange bunch of people!
Yet, somehow, this vessel and the people seemed not all that strange to him. Something was tugging at the back of his memory. He looked at his surroundings, and had a strange feeling that he knew this place, even though he had never been on this ship before.
"Sometimes I wonder, if we're better off without memories."
His thoughts went to the Extended girl. Even though he was warned, he couldn't help but become a bit attached to her. He had felt bad for taking her memories, but he knew she was better off without them, she'd be happier that way.
As for himself, he overheard the boy talking to someone else about his own memories being "different". He hadn't a clue what they were on about, for when he asked them, they refused to give a straight answer.
Strange people indeed.
For reason beyond his understanding, they kept on referring to him as "Mwu", even though he insisted many times that his name was Neo. He caught snippets of conversations that included "100 percent genetic match", and "physically identical". And again, they wouldn't give him a straight answer. He supposed they weren't obligated to give him answers, since he was technically a prisoner.
"A name signifies the existence of an object, therefore, if the name is false, then its existence is also false.
"Mwu."
He tested the name out, looked in the mirror while saying the name. It sounded foreign to his tongue, and didn't suit him at all. Yet they all insisted on calling him that. He searched his memory for any hints of that name, and always came up blank.
Same went for that woman, the captain. She seemed to know him well, or at least, she knew his face. He remembered the joy on her face when he woke up, then the bitter disappointment when he denied that he was this "Mwu". He couldn't help but feel guilty for making her cry. She seemed somewhat familiar, like he'd seen her before, in some distant dream. But when he went into his memories, searching for her face, it always seemed to flee his grasp, leaving him frustrated.
She often came to see him, but she never stayed to have a conversation, leaving just as he was trying to talk to her. So what if for some strange reason, he reminded them of this "Mwu", that didn't mean he was who they said he was, and it didn't mean that he knew the ship and that woman. He didn't know why, but something in him wanted to remember her.
"You better go."
What? She's letting him go, after keeping him as a prisoner for so long? She's as strange as the rest of them.
"You're not Mwu," she turned her back on him and hid her face from her view, "You're not Mwu at all!" With that, she ran away, wiping tears away.
He stared at her retreating form, feeling that he was missing something.
He was supposed to board the plane and take off, but for some reason, he was hesitant to get in. He looked up and saw the ship launch, about to go into battle. He sighed, oh well, no point in staying.
Finally, he can get away from these strange people!
But as he flew into the air, the image of her face kept on coming back. He shook his head to clear it, but it was no use. It seemed to tug at his memory, as if begging him to remember something, something important to him.
Before he knew it, he was flying towards the ship.
Because he knew, memories are important. Because without them, he'd only be an empty shell.
END
A/N: hopefully I've captured Neo's nature not too badly. This is kinda an accompanying one-shot to my other NeoMurrue one-shot: Behind Those Eyes. I was inspired by Neo's words, "sometimes, I wonder if we're better off without memories". The idea of an empty shell kinda came from Chobits :D
I could've went on, but I think the Skygrasper scene was an appropriate place to stop, leaves you more to think about. I think it may still need some more work, so I may edit it later.