Closer Than You Think
Inspiration from the song "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" by Justin Moore.
Set during season one.
Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice.
A/N at the end.
Tears fell onto the picture clutched in both hands by a boy with raven hair and sparkling sapphire eyes. Today, however, the sparkle was gone, replaced with a pressing sadness that he felt could never be lifted.
It was April 1.
Today was the day.
Dick looked at the ceiling, tearing his eyes away from the picture that now housed what was left of his parents. It was one of the only things he had been allowed to keep after they had been murdered. He pressed his fist into his mouth and bit down hard, trying to stop the sobs he could feel coming. They came anyway. They racked his body, causing him to curl up into a ball on his bed, his arms wrapped around a pillow as though they were his parents, the picture lying by his knee. He cried and cried and cried. He didn't remember crying this much in his life. It was definitely more than when his parents had first died, more than his time at the Juvenile Center. Hell, it was more than the first anniversary of their deaths. That had been a very wet time.
Bruce had told him that it was natural to be sad, that it was okay to cry every once in a while. He even claimed that when the anniversary of his parents deaths came around he cried too. Dick didn't believe him: Bruce was a master at holding back emotions. He had never once seen him cry, besides that one time where Dick had been so severely beaten by the Joker there was a low probability he would live. Besides that, not once had he seen Bruce let himself show his true emotions. Dick had strived to be the same in order to try to forget the pain in his chest that he felt every time he thought of his parents.
Not a day had gone by that Dick hadn't thought about them. Sure, maybe he would be too distracted during the day to really think about them, but his dreams never failed him. If he had forgotten them, they'd show up in his dreams. Sometimes they were short but pleasant dreams that made him smile. More than often, however, they were terribly long nightmares. Usually they were scenarios where Dick was forced to watch his parents fall to their deaths over and over again until he collapsed from dehydration and the lack of oxygen that came with crying out for his plummeting parents. Those were the times he woke up screaming.
He tried to steady his laboured breaths. He had stopped his wet sobbing but the tears flowed down his cheeks like rivers. Through blurry eyes he peered at the alarm clock resting on his bedside table. It was almost midnight. His day of allowed weakness was almost over. He and Bruce had already done all the things he'd needed to do for closure of another year gone: he'd visited his parents graves. He'd gone on the rings in the training room at the Manor. As always, he hadn't touched the trapeze, even though Bruce had added it specifically for him. The thing still gave him flashes of that horrible night. He had stared at the picture of his parents and had allowed himself to cry. There was nothing else left to do.
Dick pulled the pillow closer to his chest. How he wished that Mr. Freeze hadn't decided to attack Gotham that night! All he really wanted was Bruce's strong arms around him, telling him that everything was going to be alright, that he was here and was never going to go away. Batman had excused him from patrol last night, as he'd noticed that Dick's head wasn't completely in the game.
Why was it so much harder this time? He thought the pain would dull after enough years had passed. Obviously five years wasn't enough. Dick didn't know and his mind was too full of sorrow to think about it too much. Instead, he pulled the blankets over him and, hand gently touching the picture of John and Mary Grayson, he fell asleep and, for the first time since the anniversaries began, the dreams he had on were not painful.
I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes and yawning. My hair was dishevelled. My eyelids were drooping. I was tired. Why Bruce had made me get up so early, I didn't know. I take my seat at the table and smile as Alfred presents me a plate of breakfast piled with bacon, eggs and pumpkin pie flavoured waffles with cream cheese icing. I licked my lips. My favourite breakfast.
As I dug into meal, I saw Bruce go running past the kitchen. Confused, I walked out the door, wiping my sticky hands on my jeans. The double doors of the mansion were open and the limo was parked out front, the engine running. Bruce and Alfred were shoving suitcases into the trunk. Slowly, I approached the vehicle.
Bruce looked up, noticing me and smiling. "Ah, Dick! Are you finished breakfast? Ready to go?"
"And where exactly where would we be going to?" I asked.
He laughed that laugh that was reserved for Dick. He reached out and ruffled his hair. "Don't you remember? I told you yesterday. We're taking a trip to Heaven."
I took a step back. Did he say Heaven? My heart started pounding in my chest. Was Bruce planning to kill us? A look of concern crossed his face. "Dick? Is something wrong?"
Suddenly, my heartbeat slowed. I nodded and smiled, a genuine smile, not one of those fake ones I usually use when someone asks me if I am okay. "Yeah, I'm good. Just…excited." Bruce smiled and returned to his job of forcing suitcases into the trunk. My knees trembled beneath my weight. I sat on the marble steps leading up to the manor staring blankly ahead. For some reason, I wasn't worried that Bruce was taking me to Heaven. I still didn't know what he meant, but deep down inside me I felt he wasn't trying to do anything wrong.
"Hey Bruce," I said suddenly. "How far is it to…Heaven?"
"Only an hour's drive. It's closer than you'd think. Why?"
I shrugged. "No reason." I resumed my staring. Something deep in my subconscious was telling me that I had already known about this trip.
A memory surfaced of Bruce telling me that my parents had invited us to go and visit them in Heaven. I had been confused: wasn't Heaven really far away? Bruce had laughed and told me it really wasn't so far, just a little out of the way that most people wouldn't notice. "But we're not most people," he'd said, winking at me and ruffling my hair. I'd laughed and wrapped my arms around him, so genuinely happy I almost cried tears of joy.
"Master Richard!" Alfred called. I looked up. "It's time to go." I nodded numbly and climbed in, barely containing a smile. I was going to see my parents again.
The car began to rise straight up. I gasped and looked out the window. Sure enough, Gotham City was growing smaller and smaller as we ascended into the clouds. Bruce smirked. "You look surprised. Did you think Heaven was on the ground or something?" I blushed and, sputtering, denying his comment a little too much. Bruce laughed and threw his arm over my shoulder. I snuggled into him. Hey, sometimes even a teenager needs some snuggle time.
Heaven was just as I imagined it would be. It was whelming, to say the least. Well, almost. There were no Pearly Gates, no angels flying around with halos encircling their heads. It looked like a normal city—minus the fact it was resting on clouds, of course—though it was kind of as if a ton of buildings from different stages in the Victorian era were thrown together with no care if it was aesthetically pleasing. As the people walked in and out, the houses made sense. Each person matched their house, and I came to the conclusion that the buildings most likely meant something to the people when they were alive. The car, however, did not stop. It continued to ascend through layers and layers of clouds, each one filled with different cities made of buildings from different eras.
The limo stopped on a cloud holding a city filled with trailers. I noticed one trailer in particular. A smile lit up my face, one that reached my eyes like no smile has ever had before. It looked exactly like the one I'd lived in at the circus. Alfred didn't have to announce it, though he did anyway. I knew we had arrived. I frantically threw the door open and grasped Bruce's hand, tugging on it and trying to pull him out of the car with me. "C'mon Bruce!" I said excitedly. "They're waiting for us! It's rude to keep people waiting!" I sounded like I was eight years old again, but I didn't care. I was just so whelmed I couldn't control myself. Bruce chuckled and followed me out. I tapped my foot on the ground impatiently as Bruce asked Alfred—painfully slowly, if I might add—if he needed any assistance unloading the bags. Alfred began pulling bags from the trunk as I rushed to the door of the trailer. The clouds swirling around my feet are soft and plushy. It was like I was walking on a floor made of pillows and marshmellows.
I hesitated, my fist perched just above the door. My hands were shaking. Was I scared? Me, Dick Grayson, adopted son of Bruce Wayne and also Robin, the Boy Wonder, was scared of seeing his own parents?
"Aren't you going to knock, Dick?"Slowly, I turned around to face Bruce.
I look down nervously at my feet, moving my toes around in random invisible patterns in the worn out wood. "Promise you won't judge me?"
Bruce knelt at his feet. "Promise. C'mon Dick. Why would I do that? We're partners. We're—" he cut himself off before choking out, "We're family." I stared into his eyes. This must be so hard for him. We're about to visit my old family. Does he think I won't love him anymore?
"Okay, well, I'm nervous. I mean, what if they don't like me? It's been five years since I've seen them besides in pictures and my nightmares. What if they're disappointed with me? Even worse, what if they're mad at you for putting me in danger as Robin? I-I don't want some members of my family mad at others Bruce—oomph!" Bruce had pulled me into a tight embrace. I stood there frozen for a second before returning the hug with vigour.
"Don't worry, Dick," Bruce said quietly. "They love you. They always have, and always will. I mean, who couldn't love someone like you? You're brave, strong, kind and can always make me laugh. If you're parents can't see the young man that you are, then they don't deserve to be calling you their son." He pulled back and held me at arm's length, gazing into my eyes. He smiles. "Now let's go and see your family."
Bruce turns me around and after taking a deep breath, I knock on the door.
The next few days are the best days of my life. My parents were ecstatic to see me: Mom pulled me into a hug immediately and started to sob, smoothing down my hair and calling me her "little bird", just like she used to. Dad had joined in the hug, wrapping his arms protectively around the both of us. Though he'd never admit it, he too was crying, though I can't say I didn't cry either. I didn't want them to ever let go. I felt so safe and happy. I was with my family. They loved me. Dad and Bruce had hit it off right away and when Alfred introduced himself, we were just like one big happy family. I had been right: Dad and Mom were a little mad that Bruce was putting me in danger, though after they heard my story about how I wanted to do it, they smiled and said they would support me. My heart had swelled. Both of my families were getting along. It was perfect.
With some coaxing from my parents, I finally got back onto the trapeze. They had a little circus tent set up behind their trailer (I don't know how I didn't notice it before). We did all of the routines we had done while in Haly's Circus. I couldn't believe that I remembered them all. They even let me participate in the Grayson Dive. I had forgotten the feeling that came with flying on the trapeze. I felt so alive and free. I didn't want to leave. The only reason I did was because Bruce had persuaded me with a plate of Alfred's famous cookies.
The day came when we had to return to Gotham. Bruce had business to take care of, I had another exam, and Batman and Robin had been off patrol and Justice League and Young Justice's radars for so long someone had to notice something was up. Somewhere in the back of my mind I hoped that either crime had magically solved itself overnight or that everything was destroyed so I could stay here forever. Unfortunately, Bruce swore that wasn't the case. As Bruce and Alfred tried to shove the suitcases back into the car again, I hugged my parents standing on the porch of the trailer. I started to cry.
"De ce plângi, pasăre mică?" Mom said. 'Why are you crying, little bird?'
"Amsă te părăsesc," I sobbed. "Nu vreau niciodată să vă las din nou. Nu ai nici o idee cât de mult te-am pierdut." 'I have to leave you. I don't ever want to leave you again. You have no idea how much I missed you.'
"Nuplânge, Richard." Dad said, passing his finger under my eye to pick up the tears. 'Don't cry, Richard.' "Tuştii că suntemmereucu tineaici." 'You know we're always with you in here.' He points to my heart. "În plus,aveţipe cineva carevă iubeşte şise îngrijeşte de tineacum. Bruceeste un ombun. Suntfericitcăeleste celpe careaţi găsit. Şi nuvă fie teamăsăvizitezeori de câte oridoriţi. Vomfi aici." 'Besides, you have someone else who loves you and cares for you now. Bruce is a good man. I'm happy that he is the one that found you. And don't be afraid to come visit whenever you like. We'll be here.'
"Noite iubim, Richard. Nuuitaniciodatăasta." 'We love you, Richard. Don't ever forget that.' Mom whispers. I can feel her tears seeping into my T-shirt.
"Eu te iubesc, de asemenea, mami şi tati." 'I love you, too, Mommy and Daddy."
We held our embrace for a second longer before I broke away and ran into the limo where Bruce was waiting for me. Alfred, Bruce and I waved as the car slipped between the clouds. Mom and Dad waved back until we completely dipped under the clouds, and they're gone from my life again.
Dick awakes when the dream ends. He smiles and closes his eyes again, savouring the beautiful image still lingering in his mind. For once, he was not woken up by a nightmare. He hears someone snore beside him. Frightened, he looks over. Bruce lies there, snoring loudly but contently. Dick notices he's in Bruce's bed. He must've carried him in to sleep with him, knowing it was the anniversary. He can't help noticing how big of a heart Bruce really has. He tries to hide it behind his persona in Batman—and even Bruce Wayne—but Dick knows the truth. He's really just a big softie at heart.
Scooting closer, Dick snuggles up against Bruce's chest. He takes Bruce's arms gently and wraps them around himself. He closes his eyes again. His parents love him. Bruce loves him. His life is great. He'll never forget them. The pain may never pass. Who was he kidding? The pain would never pass. He would never be able to forget how his parents had been taken away from him. However, maybe the knowledge that his parents are still with him will make the pain dull enough to make the next April 1st easier to bear.
A/N: Nakama no otaku kon'nichiwa! Hello fellow geeks! This is my first Young Justice One-Shot (yay!) so I hope you all enjoyed. I've said this on my profile already, but I'm going on a four-day vacation to my Grandparents house so I'll be without *gasp* Internet connection for a while. Because of this, I'm posting this One-Shot now instead of on Monday like I'm going to try to do because I'd feel bad if I didn't keep my promises Please review! I love reading reviews! They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :3 Anyway, I'm starting to ramble. Happy reading and stay asterous! ;)