His hand just hangs there in the air in front of the recently closed door. His jaw clenches as he ponders what had just happened.

How did he misread the situation? He knew that he was easy enough to read, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. And his brain for that matter. He didn't have a great filter. His mother had always admonished him to think before he spoke, but that was a lesson he was still learning, even in his thirties. No one was ever left wondering what his thoughts and feelings were - he was an open book.

But she wasn't.

Yet how many times could he see things that others didn't? Her "tough girl" attitude didn't faze him. He knew she was tough . . . Yet he also knew she was human. Knew that beneath the surface there was always more going on that she would ever let on.

Damn, he thought he could read her. Resigned, he lowers his hand and sighs. He puts it on his hip and looks down. He thought they had been having a moment. Several of them actually. He feels a bit of shame at his own audacity for thinking that he knew her that well, for putting himself out there and getting turned away.

Disappointed, he turns and walks away from her door.

Earlier that day . . .

"Hey there, little one!" Carisi bellows as he steps through Amanda's doorway, sounding jolly as he takes Jesse from her arms and coos to her.

"What's with the beard?" Amanda cocks one eyebrow at him, trying to look stern, but failing.

"Hey, yo - I'm Santa Claus."

"Really?"

"Well, at least to Jesse I am."

"She's only six weeks old," Amanda says sardonically.

"Yeah, but she's got a thing for guys with beards already, look."

Jesse is curling pieces of it in her fists.

"That's just her grasping reflex - you put something that close to her, she grabs it."

"Yeah, like your nipples. Babies need that skill to find something to eat, eh?"

She tries to get offended, but can't. This is Carisi. She is way too used to the innocently inappropriate things that regularly come out of his mouth.

"Yeah."

She watches him with Jesse. He's a natural. He walks around with her like he was born to be a father - her father. It's endearing. Carisi catches her watching him and his expression changes into one meant just for her. She feels self-conscious, but even so a small smile reaches her lips before she looks away.

"So what are we doing with the little squirt today?" he asks, attention back on Jesse.

"Taking that beard off."

He tilts his head down to look back at Amanda wryly.

"You know, this is part of my Santa Claus suit."

"Really? I'd like to see that."

"Yeah, well maybe next year. I become the jolly old man for my church every Christmas."

"You do?" she could almost envision it.

"Yeah, you just missed it. Someone's gotta check those naughty and nice lists twice." He winks.

"And which list are you on?"

"You know." There's that look again.

Yeah, she knows. He's on the nice list.

She approaches him and gently pries Jesse's hand from his beard. The baby fusses a bit, but Carisi soothes her right away. Amanda reaches up to his face, finds the corner of the beard near his ear and peels it away. Halfway through her eyes dart up to his and he's still looking at her in that way. She can't help but smile back and holds his gaze as she finishes.

"There," she says softly and pats his cheek. His blue eyes crinkle into an even deeper smile than hers.

They take turns pushing the stroller as they walk around Central Park in the freezing cold air. They've been walking for so long Carisi wants to take a break.

"Hey, Rollins. Why don't you take a load off." He points to a metal bench they are approaching.

"Are you kidding me? If I sit on that my ass will freeze."

"Fine, I'll sit on it for you. Then you can sit on my lap. And then Jesse can sit on yours." He says matter-of-factly.

Amanda is looking at him with her typical wry smile, arms crossed over her chest.

"Come on, lighten up." He grins at his brilliant idea. "We can make like a little pyramid . . . One on top of the other. And my ass will take the heat for everyone."

"The heat?"

"Or the burn - the freezer burn." He chuckles as he waves her over and pushes the stroller to the bench. "Come on."

She goes over and sits down, but not on him.

"Ah, I see the tough girl's toughing it out."

"You'd better hope my ass doesn't get frostbite."

"Hey, I already told you how you can prevent that." Carisi gives her a knowing look.

"Not a chance Carisi." She holds out her arms, "Hand me Jesse, will you?"

"Here ya go," he lifts Jesse out of the stroller, making sure she's still bundled up and hands her to her mother. He watches Amanda as she talks softly to her daughter, stroking her cheek. He wonders if she's ever felt so close to anyone before. Her family dynamics were fucked up to say the least. Yet the love she beams down at her daughter comes from a better place, he can tell.

"You're really good with her, you know," he says.

"You really think so? I . . . I don't know. I mean, I enjoy being a mother more than I thought possible. But you know I worry that I won't do a good job of it" she sighs and continues " . . . my family, you know."

"Yeah, I do know," he says softly and touches her shoulder, which has tensed up, "But hey, you aren't them. This, what I see here . . . This . . . "

She looks up at him expectantly.

"This is good, you know. Right." He stares at her firmly. "You're going to be a good mother. You already are."

He feels her relax under his touch as she sighs again. He puts his arm around her and pulls her into his shoulder. She does not resist. They sit there for a good long while.

"Brrr. Brrr. Oh, damn I'm so cold," Amanda says as she takes off her gloves and the warm indoors burns her ice cold hands. She obviously did not dress well enough for the weather.

"Here, let me help you," she hears Carisi say from behind her. "Just let me go put Jesse down first."

"Okay."

Amanda tugs off her coat, happy that the rest of her isn't as cold as her hands. Already forgetting that Carisi had just told her he was going to help her - how in the hell was he going to do that? - she turns on the water in her sink, waiting for it to run lukewarm before putting her hands in it.

"Hey hey hey! I was going to take care of that," she hears Carisi say, catching her just in time before she dunks them into the stream of running water.

He shuts off the spigot and turns her around to face him. . .

"What - ?"

. . . and takes her hands into his.

As he starts rubbing them she gets a little annoyed at being coddled. "Carisi, I had the situation under control."

"Yeah, but what you were doing was crazy."

"Crazy?"

"Yeah, why would you let some measly water warm you up when you've got a better option?"

"A better option?"

"Yeah, you've got me. The Italian hand warmer!"

She bursts out laughing. "Carisi, you are too much."

"Nah, I'm just the best."

They smile and laugh while he continues to warm up her hands.

"She's good for you, you know."

"Jesse?"

"Yeah. She'll mellow you out. You'll see."

"I doubt it."

"You're making good progress."

Amanda snorts.

"Okay, done?" he asks, releasing her hands.

She wrings them out against each other and decides, no. She puts her hands back into his.

"Not quite."

Amanda's all warmed up, Jesse's down for a nap, and it's time for him to leave. Amanda walks him to the door.

There's an awkward silence between them once he's across the door jam and they should be saying their goodbyes. She looks up at him with something in her eyes that is different than he's used to seeing - expectation, longing, hope? Is now the time . . . ?

He reaches out to cup her face and her expression doesn't change. But as he leans down towards her something changes and her eyes close. Her hand comes up to his wrist and grabs it.

"Carisi."

With her eyes still closed she pushes away the hand that had been cupping her face.

"Stop."

She opens her eyes, releases his hand, and closes the door.