I woke up suddenly. I felt disgusted, yet at the same time I felt an odd jolt of arousal. I had had the dream again.

Drenched in sweat, I slowly got out of bed. The walls of my apartment seemed to be falling in on me. I don't know if that was because I had just woken up or because I had been drunk the night before. As I entered the bathroom, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. I'd gotten so much thinner since I started living here. I'd cut my hair since the previous year. It was just brown again...very plain. I liked it.

I stumbled over to the toilet to take a piss. As I reached down, I realized that my boxers were wet. My dream had been a wet dream. I finished peeing before washing my hands vigorously. Then I turned the shower on. I needed to cleanse myself of this awful feeling. I felt so dirty. I felt dirty every time I had the dream.

My stomach growled slightly as I made my way into the kitchen. I hadn't eaten since breakfast the previous day. As I reached into the cupboard to pull out a box of cereal, I noticed a plethora of beer bottles lying on the counter beside me. Suddenly I felt sick. I dropped the cereal and hurried back into the bathroom. Leaning over the toilet, I felt like I was about to vomit. But I never did. After a few painful minutes, I stood back up and felt the water in the shower. It was warm now.

I took off my undershirt and then my boxers and quickly jumped inside the shower, pulling the curtain shut behind me. As I washed the sweat and dirt off my face, I closed my eyes. I felt peaceful now, not dirty. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

But then the painfully arousing dream snuck its way into my mind once more. I had started having it a couple times a week since the last time I'd seen Craig the previous summer. It felt strange, like someone else's sick fantasy was playing inside my head, but I couldn't stop it. It was just a dream, right?

We were on my bed and Craig was lying next to me. He whispered into my ear and then I noticed that neither of us was wearing any clothes. He kissed me and I ran my fingers up and down his side. I felt him all over, growing more and more excited with every inch I touched.

I opened my eyes quickly and I realized that I'd gotten an erection, but I didn't think twice about it. What felt wrong only minutes ago now felt so right. My hand moved to my member. I gripped it gently at the base slowly began to stroke.

I had very suddenly been thrown into a swirl of pleasure. My surroundings were lost to me as I delved into my imagination. I pictured my dream…I could almost feel Craig's smooth skin against mine, but soon it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I explored my fantasy further than it had ever gone on its own. I could feel the impending release building in my loins. I was going to explode any moment, and I realized that I had started to rub my nipples gently so that I could barely feel it.

Then I erupted all over the floor and the wall, my entire body pulsating with pure delight. I watched breathlessly as the water continuously tried to push my semen down the drain.

By the time I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist, I had forgotten all about my dream and what it had done to me. That's how it had always been.

The telephone rang as I re-entered the kitchen. I picked it up to hear a very familiar voice.

"Hey Spin, what's up?" Jay said in his very "cool" way.

"Nothing," I spoke for the first time that day.

"Okay...well what are you doing tonight?" Jay asked.

"Nothing," I repeated blandly.

"Do you wanna hang? Get out some of those graduation jitters?" Jay asked cutely

"Sure," I said, starting to laugh at the sound of his voice. I thought silently for a couple seconds before I said, "You do mean we're going to drink, right?"

"Yeah," Jay laughed, "I've got a handle of Jack so it's time to get wrecked."

"Oh man," I exclaimed, "I am so ready."

"You better be," Jay replied.

We were both quiet for a couple seconds. It wasn't awkward though. It's never awkward between us. We just understand each other I guess.

"Alright, well I gotta go," I said quickly, thinking of the cereal in my cupboard, "I'll see you later"

"Okay, man. Peace." He said.

We both hung up. This is what it had been like almost every weekend since I got my apartment four months previously. Jay and I would get together and drink and talk about how we were both outcasts or about some other reason why our lives were so bad. We'd stay up till 5 in the morning sometimes just rambling on and on about our stupid shit that nobody else cared about. Sometimes he'd sleep on the couch, but most of the time we just stayed up until he was mostly sober so he could drive home.

I don't know how, but I'd been getting by in school somehow. With graduation just around the corner, I was skeptical. I kept thinking that they were going to pull some shit and fail me even though I'd gotten all my credits. Graduation didn't mean much to me because I didn't plan on doing anything with my life, but for some reason I really wanted that diploma. Maybe I just needed to prove to all of my old friends that I wasn't the loser they thought I was. No matter how often I told Jay that I didn't care about them anymore, I never believed it. I always wanted my friends back.

When I was finished with my cereal, I came to the realization that I had never gotten dressed. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out some random clothes. I took off the towel and then discovered that I hadn't taken out a pair of boxers. As I searched my unorganized drawers for a clean pair of underwear, I felt like someone was watching me. Suspicious, I turned around quickly.

Craig was standing there. My old friend Craig, who hadn't so much as acknowledged me since the previous year was standing in my apartment, staring at me with his mouth open in surprise.

"Craig," I said in utter bewilderment, "What are you doing here?"

He seemed to come out of a trance.

"Uhh...Spinner," he said cautiously.

"Yeah?" I asked, still confused.

"You aren't wearing any clothes," he pointed out.

I looked down and then suddenly became aware that I was completely naked. I quickly turned around and luckily found a pair of boxers on top of the dresser. I hurriedly put them on while Craig laughed at me...something he hadn't done in so long. I smiled.