Angela's POV
When Cam said I wasn't pregnant, I didn't know what to think. I had gotten used to the idea of a baby, of having a little clone of me. I had wanted to have the baby, and when Cam said that it was a false positive, I felt a little piece of my heart break off and crumble. Maybe I had been jumping the gun a little bit, but I had drawn what I wanted my baby's room to look like, I had come up with several sketches of what my child could look like. I had dreamed about my baby, and to let that imaginary baby go, well, it was painful.
Of course, I swore Hodgins and Cam to secrecy. I couldn't have Wendell knowing. He was young, he would freak out, demand to know why he hadn't been told sooner, and I wouldn't have an answer for him. I could churn out a million different excuses, 'I needed to get used to the idea of being a Mom first,' 'I needed to figure out the right way to tell him'. But the truth was, I would sit down, with my baby sketches, and look hard at them, and they would have Jack's eyes. They would have that twinkle that was always seen with him, a light that couldn't be dimmed.
I told myself that it was stupid to being drawing children that looked like Jack. We were done. Completely over with, forever. And yet . . . I would look at my favourite sketch of a little girl, four years old, with his eyes and my smile, and think, this is what I really want. Maybe I could still have this. Then I would think about how Wendell would be crushed, how awkward it would get, but then a little voice in the back of my head would start screaming at me. It would be saying: don't live your life for someone else, live your life for you.
I had to listen to that screaming voice. Staying with Wendell was just going to hurt all three of us in the long run. If I let things get more serious between Wendell and I, then I broke up with him, more tears and bad feelings would come up with it. It was better to take him out for supper after work, and tell him that I was breaking up with him. I was surprised at how easy the thought came to me, how it didn't make tears come to my eyes. I couldn't be sure of how Wendell thought of me, but I had to accept, that I was just in it for the sex. The amazing sex.
But, it couldn't go on any longer, being with Wendell, not with knowing who my heart really belonged too. That scruffy, rich, scientist with a twinkle in his eye.
Okay, so I was really pissed off when Angela and Hodgins didn't get together, but I think we're getting back to that point where Hodgela once again reenters the world of Bones, and hopefully this piece will hold me over. I don't own Bones.
~DI4MGZ~