Words Can Hurt
Officer Benjamin Clawhauser was working another shift as the ZPD's main administrative support. He loved his job. There was nothing he liked more than to be able to lift the spirits of everyone who walked by, be they new recruits, recently terminated employees, unfortunate victims and survivors, or even criminals. And in return for his excellent service with a smile, most mammals had very specific words to call him.
"Isn't the receptionist adorable?"
"He's such a sweetheart."
"What a bundle of joy."
And occasionally there'd be a snide remark about how he needed to lose some weight because cheetahs aren't supposed to be fat, but mostly, when that happened he'd just laugh it off. In fact, the worst he got for the most part was "Oh, my god. Shut up. You are so annoying." Which he would apologize for, and then laugh off.
One day, a large angry elephant stormed into the office. He was a parlor owner named Jerry Jumbeaux Jr. He exclaimed, "I've been robbed! Someone made off with a tub of ice cream and all the money in the register in the night!"
"Okay, I'll make sure to let the chief know," Clawhauser said, as he turned on the intercom, "Chief Bogo? There's an elephant in the lobby saying he's been robbed."
"I'll be down in a minute," Chief Bogo said.
"Okay," Clawhauser said, smiling. "Please wait for assistance, sir. Your patience is appreciated."
"Look, I don't care how 'appreciated' my patience is. It's bad enough that I got robbed, and now the one in charge of serving me is a fat, stupid pussy."
There it was. Clawhauser could hardly believe what he had just heard. It couldn't be true… but Jumbeaux had used the one word you should never, ever, under any circumstances say to a cheetah, ocelot, puma, bobcat, or lynx, especially not a male who could be perceived as weak or feminine. He gasped in horror and then began to weep profusely.
Chief Bogo came out of his office and saw Clawhauser over the railing, head on his desk, back shaking. He growled slightly and then regained his composure. He walked down the stairs and said, "Yes? Can I help you?"
"Yeah, you can," Jumbeaux said, "I've been robbed."
"And is that a good reason to make my receptionist cry?" he asked.
"Look, beefcake, I'm not going to waste my time trying to argue with you about that. Just do your damn job and bring my robber to justice," Jumbeaux said.
Bogo cringed visibly at the term, clenching his hooves into fists and growling. But once again, he regained his composure. "Absolutely, sir. We will add your case to the pile," he said smirking slightly.
"Yeah," Jumbeaux said, leaving the office in a huff.
"Are you alright, Clawhauser?" Bogo asked gently.
"Well, not really…" he said.
"What did that elephant say to you?" Bogo asked.
"He… he…" Clawhauser said, trying not to sob. Bogo put a hoof sympathetically on his shoulder and attempted to reassure him. "He called me the P word."
"The P word?" Bogo asked, in a mix of horror and fury.
"Yes," Clawhauser said.
"Well, we at the ZPD will make sure he gets just the service he deserves," Bogo said.
The bullpen was being handed out assignments. Bogo looked at the pile of cases. He saw nothing terribly exciting. In fact, objectively speaking, the robbery was probably the highest priority.
He handed out each of the case files to a team. He handed the Jumbeaux case to the one team that had been consistently underperforming. Hopps was very confused by this development.
"Sir?" she asked, "Forgive me. It's not as if I don't think that the assignments you gave me and Officer Wilde are worthy. It's just that… well, do you really think that those guys are capable of solving the Jumbeaux case?"
"No, Hopps, I don't," he said bluntly.
"Then why would you…?" Hopps asked.
Bogo flinched a bit. He couldn't admit his reasons to her. Emotional reasoning is for the weak. He also couldn't lie. Lying is dishonorable. He stammered slightly.
"Oh, I get it!" Hopps said. "Well, I think it's stellar that you're giving everyone an opportunity to prove themselves. You really have changed, Chief."
"Not as much as you might think, Hopps," he admitted sadly.
"Huh?" she asked.
"Never mind. Don't you have a lamppost smasher to catch?" he asked.
"Yes, right, Chief," she said. "Come on, Nick."
Wilde followed her out the door. As they left the station, Hopps couldn't help but notice that Clawhauser's eyes were puffy.
"Are you okay?" she asked. "You look like you've been crying."
"I have…" he said, "It's okay now, though."
"What were you crying about, if you don't mind me asking?" she asked.
"Oh, one of the cases we're solving… the victim was a little bit… belligerent."
"Belligerent how exactly?" Wilde asked.
"He called me the P word," he whispered sadly.
"Whoa, uh… that is not good. Not at all," Wilde said.
"What's the P word?" Hopps asked curiously.
"Wow, you did have a sheltered childhood," Wilde said. "I'll let our cheetah explain it to you better."
"The word is spelled P-U-S-S-Y. It's the worst thing you could ever be called. It's never used benignly. It's always used to other as weak and inferior. Some lesser cats have reclaimed it, to pretend it has no baggage. But it always has, and it always will," Clawhauser said somberly.
"Oh my…" Hopps said. "I am so sorry."
"Don't be sorry," Clawhauser said, "You didn't call me that. And I know you never would."
"Wait a second, Hopps, it all makes sense now," Wilde said.
"Oh?" Hopps asked.
"Yeah, the Jumbeaux case. Jumbeaux? Doesn't that name sound familiar, Officer Toot-Toot?" Wilde asked.
"Wait, that was the name of the mean elephant you were trying to get the pop from," Hopps said.
"Oh, yeah," Clawhauser said, "It was Jumbeaux. He was the one."
"That's why Bogo handed the case off to the slackers!" Hopps said.
"Exactly," Wilde said. "He didn't take kindly to someone making his receptionist cry."
"No, he sure didn't," Clawhauser said, his eyes softening, as he sighed dreamily. "Buuut… to be fair, maybe he was just mad because Jumbeaux insulted him too. Called him a name that bovines do not like. Not. At. All."
"Oh, wow," Hopps said. "I gotta hand it to the boss. He's the master of passive-aggressive punishment."
Several weeks later, the cases had been solved and cycled through repeatedly. No progress had been made on the Jumbeaux case, which was continually handed to the same slackers. "It's alright, boys, take your time," Bogo would say as they leave. "Don't feel too pressured to meet a strict deadline."
"Chief Bogo, don't you think he's suffered enough?" Hopps asked. She noticed Bogo's expression. "You don't have to hesitate. I know why you're doing this."
He sighed in defeat. "Not yet, he hasn't," Bogo said. "Jerry Jumbeaux Jr. is a visceral bigot. He deserves worse, but this is all I can do legally."
"Tell me honestly, Chief, are you punishing him for insulting you or for making Clawhauser cry?" Hopps asked.
"That is none of your business, Hopps," Bogo said.
"Fair enough," she said. "But are you sure it's wise to provoke him for this long?"
"Look, I will give it to more competent workers the first week we get without enough cases to spread around. But for now, it is last priority. And it will stay that way," Bogo said.
"WHY HAVEN'T YOU CAUGHT MY ROBBERS YET!?" Jumbeaux screamed at Clawhauser.
"I think you might want to ask the Chief about that," he said meekly, cowering in the shadow of the huge, angry elephant.
"I think you might want to step up your game, pussy. No one will take you seriously if you can't stand up for yourself." Clawhauser bit his lower lip, trying not to cry. "You worthless, weak, fat, dumb pussy. Bite me and swat me if you want. You won't cause any harm, because you're weak and useless." He ran away from his desk, head buried in his front paws. He sprinted past the bullpen, sobbing loudly.
Bogo growled. "Hopps, Wilde, you go to work on your missions. I have something very important to do." He headed out to the lobby. "Jerry Jumbeaux, Jr.," Bogo said fiercely. "I thought I'd find you here."
"Why haven't you found my robbers yet?" Jumbeaux asked.
"You want the truth? Because I've been consistently putting you on the back burner since you gave us the case. Because you are a heartless savage who finds joy in making my innocent receptionist burst into tears," he said. "And I swear if I wasn't an officer of the law I would beat the tar out of you. That's before considering that you called me a beefcake, which, again, would be suicide if I wasn't an officer of the law."
"Look, beefcake, I don't really care about your secret love affair with the administration, but I don't think it's very professional to put your feelings above those of the aggrieved," he said. Bogo clenched his teeth and growled loudly. "And I'm still down a tub of ice cream and some money. You're going to find it now or else."
"You will not push me around," Bogo said darkly. "Don't push my buttons. You will regret it."
"What are you going to do to me, beefcake?" he continued. Bogo's nose flared. He began to kick the dirt beneath his feet.
"I have my ways," he said, struggling to maintain composure.
"Oh, yeah, what's that? Never solve my case? I'll turn you into city hall faster than a cheetah that isn't your fat stupid pussy of a receptionist."
"Call him that one more time, I dare you," Bogo said.
"Your receptionist is a fat, useless, pussy," Jumbeaux said finally.
"You know, I think a suspension is more than worth it," Bogo said calmly before resuming his game face. Bogo butted Jumbeaux in the stomach with his horns, knocking him over. He punched him in the face repeatedly. "This is for calling me a beefcake. This is for making Clawhauser cry. And this is for pushing my buttons until I got to this point."
"Are you fucking crazy?" Jumbeaux asked.
"Chief Bogo, no!" Clawhauser screamed, when he returned and saw what his boss was doing. "You'll get in HUGE trouble!"
"I don't even frankly care anymore," Bogo said. "I promised him the service he deserves."
"I care," Clawhauser said. "Chief Bogo, I know you're better than this. You've always been better than this. I don't want you to lose your position and reputation because of me." His eyes still looked puffy, but began to well with new tears.
"Clawhauser…" Bogo said. "I… I was trying to defend your honor."
"You can defend my honor without violence. You always have. This… isn't the Chief Bogo I know," Clawhauser said, sadly, as he walked away.
Bogo looked down at his fists. Clawhauser was right, of course. He was better than this. But it was too late. Jumbeaux turned him into city hall. Bogo was promptly suspended without pay pending a hearing. The academy drill sergeant had taken over as supervisor for the time being. Everyone could tell that Clawhauser was taking the suspension harder than anyone.
"How are you holding up, fluffy?" Wilde asked.
"I just… I just can't believe the Chief got suspended because of me…" Clawhauser said.
"Hey, you didn't do anything wrong," Wilde said. "All you did was stand there and get called a mean name. It's not your fault someone used the word against you, it's not your fault that it hurt enough to make you cry, and it's not your fault that that pissed off Bogo enough he did something he wasn't supposed to."
"Yes it was…" Clawhauser said.
"I'm gonna stop you right there and ask, would it be Judy's fault if she got called a mean name and Bogo got suspended defending her?" Wilde asked.
"No, of course not," Clawhauser said.
"Same logic, different mammal," Wilde said. "Besides, we have the hearing coming up in a few weeks. You could help exonerate the Chief."
"I can't," Clawhauser said, "I saw him assaulting Jumbeaux. I can't deny that."
"I never said he was innocent. But there might have been some mitigating circumstances," Wilde said.
"Like what?" Clawhauser asked.
"I dunno, he's a jerk. Jerks always do something that gets them in trouble in the end," Wilde said. "And Hopps and I will be on the lookout for anything suspicious."
"Thanks," Clawhauser said.
Clawhauser packed to leave the office. On the way home, he ran into Jumbeaux. "Well, well, well, have you figured out who robbed me?"
"No," Clawhauser said. "I'm sorry."
Clawhauser discreetly pressed a button on his emergency pager that alerted Hopps and Wilde to his location.
"Sorry," Jumbeaux said, mocking the sibilance in Clawhauser's voice. "I don't care how 'sorry' you are. Now, move it, pussy." Clawhauser blinked back some tears and he froze in place. Jumbeaux said, "Look, I really don't have time for this. Get out of the way, or you'll regret it."
Clawhauser was too scared to move. He just stared at the huge, intimidating elephant. Jumbeaux lifted him in his trunk by the arm and threw him at a nearby building. He screamed on impact, then swiftly fled. A siren was heard. Jumbeaux looked on to see Officers Hopps and Wilde.
"Well, well, well… if it isn't Jerry Jumbeaux Jr. Attacking a non-aggressive mammal less than half your size is grounds for a pretty severe sentence," Hopps said.
"And this is all we need to win for Bogo," Wilde continued.
"Oh, yeah, how?" Jumbeaux asked.
"You attacked Officer Clawhauser. By proving yourself to be a physical threat to him, Chief Bogo attacking you in his stead becomes a clear case of self-defense by proxy, unless you can deny that this video shows you throwing an innocent cheetah at a building," Hopps said.
"And not just any cheetah, an off-duty cop," Wilde continued.
"Who directly reported to Chief Bogo, and therefore was his responsibility," Hopps said. "And better yet, we have it on record that you have repeatedly used 'the P word' to describe this innocent cheetah. Now, you are guilty of a hate crime."
Jumbeaux stammered. He couldn't possibly get out of this one. Jumbeaux was arrested for assaulting an off-duty cop for hateful reasons. Bogo's case was dismissed, and he was returned to his position as Chief of Police. He visited Clawhauser, who was recovering from his injuries in the hospital. "So, Jerry Jumbeaux Jr. attacked you…" he said.
"I'm sorry," Clawhauser said.
"About what?" Bogo asked. "You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You are the innocent victim of this whole mess."
"About doubting you, Chief," Clawhauser said, "When I ran into him alone on the way home, he didn't kid around. I was so terrified. I… Chief, if you hadn't taken him down, he might have done a lot worse to me than call me the worst name in feline history."
"No, Clawhauser," Bogo said, "You were right. He hadn't hurt either of us physically yet. I was the one who lost my temper."
"You did it to protect me, Chief. The judge knows it, the mayor knows it, everyone knows it. You saw something I didn't," Clawhauser said.
"He deliberately made you cry, more than once," Bogo said. "The only mammals that heartless are invariably waiting in the wings to do something horrible."
"Chief?" Clawhauser asked.
"Yes?" Bogo responded.
"Forget what I said before. I think it's really sweet of you to do all that for me," he said, beaming affectionately.
"I think it should be clear by now that I do care a lot about you," Bogo said. "You're a valued asset to the team and a good friend." He moved his face very close to Clawhauser's. Clawhauser's heart started pounding like a bass drum. The nurse walked into the room, and Bogo, embarrassed, quickly left. "See you at work after recovery, Clawhauser. Get well soon."
"Yes, Chief, I will," he said, smiling, waiting for him to leave the room before exhaling in annoyance at the nurse's horrible timing.
At the bullpen, Bogo said, "Hopps, Wilde, now that Jerry Jumbeaux Jr. is in jail where he belongs, I think now is the time to solve the case of the robbery."
"Will do, Chief," Wilde said.
"And you two? I don't know how to thank you for your help," he said. "I would have plead guilty and taken the time for him, I hope you realize."
"No, I get how that is, Chief," Wilde said, "But he wasn't happy about it."
"That is a problem," Bogo said.
"You like him… don't you?" Hopps asked.
"Who wouldn't?" he responded curtly, before softly smiling to himself. Hopps and Wilde gave each other knowing smirks.