Disclaimer: if I owned the twilight world I would not be sitting at my computer writing stupid fanfictions. I would be hanging around on my own private island.
"Bella!" Emmett squealed, wrapping his hands tightly around his own jaw. Bella looked on, scared.
"Emmett, you're scaring the hell outta me. Please refrain from talking, moving, and/or doing anything out of the ordinary while I am holding a razor blade in my hand." Sure enough, Bella was holding a ten-inch long razor in her hand, holding it threateningly over her wrist.
"Uh, Bella," Alice said, "You're a vampire, sweetie. You, uh, can't bleed."
"That's how much you know!" Bella screamed, and ripped the razor blade across her skin. All it did was nothing.
"Emmett, why did you lie to me!" Rosalie came hurtling down the stairs at break-Bella's-neck speed. Emmett stared at her like she was a vampire.
"Hey, look! A vampire!" Emmett roared excitedly.
Alice put her hands over her ears, "Please guys, some of us are trying to listen to music," she quipped.
"But you aren't trying to listen to music, Alice," Bella stated.
"Bella, please, please, please, just… Shut up!" Alice exclaimed, exasperatedly.
Bella threw her hands up in the air in disgust. "Why do I even hang around with these people? Oh, right, I'm married to one of them." Bella rolled her eyes. "Fat lotta good that did me."
Bella walked to the edge of the staircase. She screamed up the stairs, "Renesmee!"
Nessie poked her head out from the side of the wall. "Excuse me, mother. Jacob and I are studying."
Bella sighed with relief. "Thank god. If it's one thing that boy knows how to do, it's keep his mind on studies. Never missed a day of school, young Jacob did." She wandered into the kitchen and drank from the sink.
"Is it just me, or is this room like seriously fluffy?" Alice stated, looking around her as though she had never seen a proper sitting room before.
Emmett and Rosalie looked around as well. "Well, Alice," Rosalie began, "I'd say that you were a little confused."
Emmett chose this moment to break into scary, hysterical laughter. "A little?" He bellowed. "I'd say a lot!" Emmett really only had one volume. And it was earth-shatteringly loud. Needless to say, it got everyone's attention.
Rose smacked Emmett upside the head. "Darling," she said through gritted teeth. "Remember when I told you I loved you?"
Emmett nodded, eyes glazed over.
Rose's countenance took on a menacing appearance. "Well, if you want that statement to stay true, I think you might want to just shut up."
Emmett took this moment to gloriously run away from home. If everyone there just wanted him to shut up and sit down, then he was going to talk down and stand up! Or something like that…
Omygod, I don't even know what to say. I have never written something as meaningless and stupid as this. Review? :D