A/N: Multichapters. Posted some already on another cite. WIll try to update weeklyish (ish important as work gets in the way a lot of the time). Please let me know what you think still struggling to understand charcs, and my grammar always sucks (apologies).
It had been over a month since Red chastised Liz for putting her life in danger to save his life. Those words told her exactly what Red thought of himself, he was expendable. At first it had been a revelation, Red believed her life as more important than his own. It was a confirmation she needed to hear to believe. The old cliché that actions speak louder than words was true; his actions the night of the King's case had confirmed how much he actually cared about her. When she heard him speak her name, right before was to die, she knew then he cared. It was not until she realized she could not imagine living in a world without Raymond "Red" Reddington, that she too cared deeply about him. It was the racing of her heart, and the realization that she cared deeply about him too that sent her back to save him.
Since that night, she had tried to rebuild the bridge between them. Red only pushed her away, and the more she chased after him to try to fix things the harder he pushed. Today she was at his doorstep, the team had been working on a blacklister Red hastily told Liz about at the Post-office before he departed claiming business. Liz knocked on the door holding the bag of fresh scones from a bakery she knew Red loved.
"Agent Keen." Dembe said as a greeting not moving from the door he just answered.
"Please call me Liz." She said, "I ally need to speak to Red is he available?" She took note of how Dembe refuse to move from the doorway. He was not going to allow her in the house. It was strange, as he almost always allowed her to at least walk into the foyer.
"Raymond is currently in a business meeting." Dembe stated his face in a deep frown. Liz thought it was as if he was upset with Red, as she noticed his frown deepens when he said his friend and bosses name. However, Dembe was even harder to read than Red, so she did not put much faith in her assessment.
"It is really important." Liz said, "I can wait."
"Liz I think it would be best if you came back later." Dembe said trying to warn her away, but she did not seem to take the hint. He decided to use her name, and a gentle voice to try to convey that what lay inside would likely upset her.
"What time should…" The question dying on her lips when she heard a familiar voice in the background. Looking over Dembe's shoulder she saw Madeline Pratt walking down the stairs dressed in one of Red's shirts and what Liz assumed were his boxers. Anger made her cheeks flush when she saw the woman that had almost cost Red his life.
Dembe was not sending her away to protect his boss, but to protect her. It was anger she had seen in his face, not aimed at her, but likely at his friend.
"Dembe, who is at the door?" Red asked from the top of the stairs, with nothing on.
"Agent Keen." Dembe said trying to keep his calm intact.
Red called down the stairs, "Lizze as you can see I am currently occupied with other pressing matters."
To everyone in that situation, it was clear that this had been part of his plan. Red had expected Liz to come by with questions, and he purposely wanted her to see that he was currently obtaining more carnal knowledge of the woman who just a month before betrayed Red and put him in a situation that almost ended with his life.
"That is unless you want to join us Lizze." Red called from upstairs, his hands over his privates, "I'm sure there is more than enough to go around."
"No thanks. Unlike you I have standards. Call me when your company leaves." Liz said handing Dembe the bag of scones, she would not let Red get to her. Most of all, she was not going to cry in front of them. They were not tears of sorrow, but of anger pure anger. It was her weakness, this much anger caused her to cry and she hated it because it made her feel like a weak woman, and that caused her to cry more.
It hurt yes, but not because she wanted to be the woman in his bed. At least she did not think she wanted to be. It hurt because she knew he had done to push at her. Ever since she had called him out on being damaged, on never having anyone do anything nice for him, for him purposely closing himself away so as to not be vulnerable, he had acted out to make her leave before she saw the entire picture. She knew how close she was, and despite the hurt she felt, she was not going to raise to his bait.
It was later that evening when Dembe had showed up outside of her hotel. He spoke to her, more than he had in the past. "Raymond would like to speak with you now."
Liz was still angry and she was not sure he could or wanted to speak to Red right now. "Tell him I'm busy."
"Agent Keen, he wants to answer your questions about the blacklister."
"We caught him no thanks to Red." Liz said having felt some pride that the team managed to track down the banker Red had given them barely information on that morning. They could still function without Red feeding them crumbs. It also happened that she came across the answer she had been searching for since the night in the back of the SUV where she saw just how broken Raymond "Red" Reddington was. She had already spoken with Assistant Director Cooper about taking the next few days off to track down the leads. For all that asked, she was going on a mini-vacation to catch up with an old friend from college and give a talk to her friends undergraduate criminal justice class.
"I am sorry for Raymonds actions today." Dembe said hoping someone apologizing would sooth the agents anger. Dembe actually liked Elizabeth Keen. He saw a strong independent woman who was kind. While he rarely spoke to her, he considered her to be one of the good people in the world, one of the people he would be willing to protect, even if Raymond had never asked him to do so.
"You have no reason to be sorry for him." Liz said feeling sorry for Dembe having to put up with Red all of the time. "Is she gone?"
"Yes." Dembe said, "She left shortly after you left earlier."
That only confirmed to both parties that Red had done that stunt on purpose.
"If you have no questions, than I will let him know your team was successful without him." Dembe stated.
Liz sighed knowing that she needed to see Red. If she wanted to tell him about what she had found out, she needed to speak with him. If he wanted to act on the information, she wanted to be there, and it meant they would need to leave town soon. "Wait Dembe. I do need to speak to him, just not about the case."
"Than please follow me."
"Give me a minute. I need to pack a bag."
Dembe was confused as to why Elizabeth would need to pack a bag.
"I have information for him. We will likely need to travel." She stated knowing Dembe was confused, "I already cleared time off for a mini-vacation from the office." Liz knew she was talking too much, but she was trying to keep her brain from talking her out of presenting what she found to Red. She was hurt by his actions, and she wanted to get back at him for that hurt. Instead of giving into that base emotion, she decided to be the bigger person. If anything she owed it to Aram and Red's DMV guy for all of their work in helping her track down the evidence.
Twenty minutes later Dembe showed Lizze into the latest safehouse, they had moved after Pratt left for everyone's safety.
Walking into the living room, she saw Red sitting in front of a fire place watching the flames dance. He looked at her as she walked in and put on his smile, that never quite reached his eyes anymore, "Lizze. You think a group of trained agents could find one banker me giving you a trail of breadcrumbs to follow to him. I am seriously starting to doubt the FBI's effectiveness."
"We managed to track down the banker without your help." Liz said smiling in triumph. They had won that round.
"Madeline loved the scones you brought." He said studying her.
Liz could not believe how petty he was being, it was so against who he was. It was as if they were back at day one, when she was sure he purposely pushed all her buttons just to see what made her tick. Now he was doing it to get away from her. He was like a child, screaming for attention, but pushing the person away the minute they gave him what he wanted.
"I brought you something else." She said pulling the bunny out of her purse.
Red recognized the bunny from the singes on its back. It had been the very bunny he remembered a younger version of Liz clinging to as he pulled her out of the fire.
"Cute, but I'm a bit old for stuff animals." Red answered his fake smile still on his face, a bit more convincing. Anyone who had not spent months studying him would think he truly was happy.
"It's what is inside it that you want." Liz said, "I believe it is the fulcrum."
"No longer afraid I'll just disappear from your life no longer not having a need for you?"
"I am confident you won't, but if you do I will miss you dearly." She said wanting to add that no matter how hard he pushed she was not going to walk away from him, that she still cared and he still had to deal with the fact she cared about him. When he said nothing, she figured she made the right decisions not to add the last part.
Red looked at the device Liz had pulled out of the bunny, "This is not the fulcrum."
"It's not?" She said surprised.
"No. But it will likely lead you to it." Red stated, "I recommend keeping it hidden and not listening to it."
"You can keep it."
"I don't want it." Red said handing it back to her.
"Are you sure?" She was truly surprised she knew how much the fulcrum meant to him. It meant his very survival, his only weapon against the cabal he had spoken of.
"100%. Lizze." Red stood from his chair, "If that is it, I am a bit tired and would like to sleep. Busy day." He was grinning at her, but it did not quite reach his eyes. His eyes were dead, no life in them.
"Can you get your jet ready?" She asked shifting on her feet. She had not only come here to give him what she thought was the fulcrum.
"Whatever for Lizze?" He smiled at her, it did not quiet reach his eyes, none of his smiles had quiet reached his eyes in awhile, "Are you finally willing to go on the vacation I told you that you needed? Decided not to use those frequent flyer miles to fly coach. I'd be happy to loan you the jet."
"Just answer the question Red."
"Answer mine first." Red said his fake smile on his face again.
"It's really important to me Red. I would not ask if…" She was playing him and he seemed to be buying it, she shifted again as if uncomfortable with what she was going to say next, "I need your help Red." She was not lying, she wanted to do something nice for Red, to show him people could be nice, and he was deserving of kindness. However, she was exaggerating how important it was to her, but it was for the greater good. Red would never tell her no, if he thought she really needed help.
"Yes I can get the jet ready." Red said, "Where should I tell them you are flying to?"
"We are flying to Missouri, St. Louis to be exact."
"We are flying?" Red said questioning her statement.
"Yes I need your help. Please Red." Liz said, "You can rest on the jet."
"Why are we flying to that dreadful state?" Red asked having had a strong distaste for the state of Missouri, but he could never tell Lizze no if it was important to her. Her actions tonight were surprising because she did not seem to show him any anger for him having hooked up with Pratt. Whatever was in Missouri, must be important if she was willing to put the anger he had seen earlier aside. Whatever, was so important, he just hoped it was not regarding the man that called himself Tom Keen.
"Important business." Liz said.
"I bring you the cases, not the other way around." Red said.
"Red just do it for me please." She said smiling at him.
Red had no other pressing matters, and even though he hated Missouri, he was willing to go along with her. "Fine. But can I at least know why it's so important we go to Missouri?"
"I need to meet an important contact there. The bureau cannot know about it."
"This is not about the fulcrum?" Red asked already knowing St. Louis, Missouri had nothing to do with the fulcrum, but he had to ask because he could stop the trip before it started. The idea of spending hours on a jet with Liz was uncomfortable. The tables had reversed in their relationship the night after the King's incident. She had become the patient persistent one, while he did his best to push her away.
"Nope. I thought what I just try to give you was the fulcrum." Liz answered honestly.
"It's not." Red said, following up with a question, "How long should I plan to be gone?"
"Not more than a week." Liz realized that Red had work outside of the blacklist, "Will that work for you?"
"Yes. My associates can handle anything that requires in person meetings."
"Good. Thank you Red. This means a lot to me." Liz said surprised at how easy it was to convince Red to go with her. It also surprised her that she was able to keep her anger at bay to achieve this good deed.
"What about your work Lizze?" Red asked.
"I told you it has to do with work." Liz answered knowing Red was trying to get her off topic.
Red excused himself, realizing he was not going to get Liz to tell him what she had in store for them. He made a call to get his jet ready, and than started to pack some clothes. His intrigue was enough to motivate him to go. As much as he dreaded the time on the plan with Lizze, he also wanted to spend time with her. He missed her and it was his own stubborn need to not be vulnerable to not be read like an open book that kept him missing her. They had only worked together over the past month. Not for her lack of trying, he had to distance himself from her, she was getting to close. He was sure Madeline would have achieved making Lizze angry with him again. For her to go back to their relationship being a necessity for business only. He sensed something was off, but he could not figure out what was off about Lizze. She was acting almost as if she had not seen the show he put on for her earlier that day. He had taken a lot of crap from Dembe, having finally pushed his friend to a point that Dembe argued with Red over his actions.
It was these thoughts that Liz pulled him from when she called to him from downstairs, "How long until it will be ready?"
"By time we get to the airport. Do you need to go pack?" He asked walking out of his room with a carry on.
"Already packed and the car." Liz said.
Dembe came out of his room with a carryon packed for himself. He grabbed Red's from him, giving his friend a glare, as Dembe was still upset with Red over his previous actions.
"Looks like we are all ready for the little adventure Lizze is taking us on." Red said grabbing is coat and hat from the coat rack at the door.
"Good. Lets get going." She said excited. She could not wait until Red saw what she found.