Chapter 1:

Stupid Ichigo!

Mouchies; Heyas! I haven't been writing stories in awhile, so don't blame me if I suck!
Rukia; Aww, you don't-
Ichigo; You suck.
Mouchies; Straight to the gut, huh, Ichigo? You feelin grumpy today?
Ichigo; Whatever.
Mouchies does not own, because if she did, Momo would be drowning in the septic tank while Soifon had a ridiculously larger role than she does now.
Toushiro; *being glomped by Mouch* This chapter is in Ichigo's POV. Everyone may or may not be entirely OOC.

It was a seriously boring day. So boring, in fact, that Kon had convinced Rukia and me to play Monopoly with him. Any other day, I'd be strangling him to death, but today I need entertainment and I suppose watching him trying to molest Rukia while simultaneously playing the game was pretty interesting.

Suddenly there was a bang on my door. I shoved Rukia and Kon into the closet as fast as possible and opened the door. There was Karin, bending over a girl who had evidently just ran headfirst into my bedroom door and ended up knocked out in the process.

Karin looked past me into the room. "Are you playing Monopoly against yourself again, Ichigo?"

I mentally slapped myself for not tossing the game into the closet behind Rukia and Kon, but that was a different story. I looked at the girl on the floor and said, "What's Soifon doing here?"

Karin just looked at me and said, "That's Masaru, not a phone made of soy. What're you talking about?"

"Why does that girl have a boy's name?"

Karin shrugged and bent back over Soifon's lookalike. On closer inspection, this girl looked younger and slightly less muscular than Soifon herself. Her hair was lighter and lacking in Soifon's rattails, though it was still chin-length. Her features looked far more relaxed and less sharp than Soifon's.

Still, she had the reiatsu of a soul reaper, and that concerned me. Since the Arrancar had been defeated and things had died down, I was ever more wary of Soul reapers coming to visit. It usually meant trouble and I didn't need trouble right now.

"I know she's a Soul Reaper," Karin said, not looking at me, "but she's just here for a vacation. She's still only in training. Besides, she's too dumb to be important."

She's got a point. Anyone who would go running headfirst into a door probably isn't the most coordinated of people.

Speaking of which, Masaru gave a groan and opened her eyes to a squint. "I must be dreaming," she muttered, "It looks like that guy who saved the soul society is leaning over me."

"Oh yeah, did I forget to tell you he's my brother?" Karin asked.

Masaru didn't respond. She just stared at me and said, "Hmm. Nose hairs." She then sat up, gave me one last look, and commented, "My sister was right. You look even more stupid up close than you do from far away."

Rukia suddenly bounded out of my room, pushed me aside, and shouted in disbelief, "Masaru-chan?"

Masaru's eyes lit up with joy as she pounced on Rukia and let forth with "Ruki-neechan!"

Karin looked blankly at Rukia as I looked blankly at Masaru. "Rukia, you have...?"

"What? No, stupidhead! We're just best friends!" Rukia glared at me, as if angry that I'd interrupted her reunion. "I'm like a big sister to her since her real one has no time for her!"

Karin rolled her eyes and muttered, "I'm just not going to ask why you were hiding this girl in your room."

"Who's her real sister, then?" I asked. They ignored me and chattered on about random things like hell butterflies and school and juice boxes while I continued to try in vain to attract their attention. Finally I lost it and yelled "WHO THE HELL IS HER SISTER?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?" Masaru snorted. "It's-"

There was a crash as the glass on my window smashed and two bodies hit the floor of my room. "Masaru," Soifon growled, "Don't you dare tell me you slacked off and came to Earth again just to 'hang out' with your human 'buddies'..." Behind her, Toushiro was dusting himself off as Soifon leered at her little sister.

Masaru's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Neechan," she gasped, "You... You..."

"You brought Chike-chan!" she exclaimed, glomping Toushiro. He calmly stood there as if her disrespecting his position and calling him humiliating nicknames was something he was used to.

"Chike?" Karin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Short for chibi-suke," Soifon sighed, "I knew I shouldn't have brought him, but he was the only one available who knew the area well."

Toushiro was beginning to grow petulant when Soifon pulled Masaru off of him. "Go home, Masaru," she told her. "I'm getting fed up with your graduation from shinigami school being postponed. You need to get into stealth training soon before they decide you're not worth it."

Masaru gave Soifon a look as if she was tired of repeating herself. "I told you, Neechan, I don't want to join second division! I want to be in thirteenth and get to visit Earth!"

"You don't 'get to visit' anyone, Masaru! You have to take life seriously and do as you're told if you ever want to get to my status, and when you do, you're going to have to be satisfied with the soul society, not Earth!"

And here I thought Soifon was harsh just in regular life.

"Oh, you think It's all about you, that it would be so much better if I could just be a boy, huh? Well, I have some news for you; If I were a boy, I'd be even worse, Neechan! So shut up and let me be myself!"

"Did you just tell me to-"

Karin was looking more than a little pissed. "Would you two take this outside where we don't have to put up with your screaming?" she interrupted Soifon.

Soifon rolled her eyes and grabbed Masaru's arm. "We're going back to the Soul Society so you can apologize to your instructors," she said firmly.

Masaru looked desperately toward Toushiro, searching for support. "Chibi-suke?"

Toushiro's face was merciless. "I only agreed to come to tell you," he growled quietly, "No matter how much you follow me around and call me stupid nicknames, I'm a captain and you're just a rebellious student. I have no time for your idiotic games."

He turned and jumped to the windowsill. "I'll see you at the captain's meeting," he said, nodding to Soifon.

After Toushiro left, Rukia stepped in and finally gave Masaru some defense. "Soifon," she begged, "Please, let her stay here just one more night. You know we're best friends, and I get so lonely without her with just this buttface for company."

"I hope you don't mean me," I muttered, knowing she wasn't listening.

Soifon sighed, "I suppose it can't be helped. But if she misses one more day of school unexcused, she's going to be expelled. I hope you realize that."

Rukia and Masaru cheered as Soifon shunpoed away. "Masaru," I interrupted, "How long has your graduation been postponed?"

Masaru sneered at me. "Oh, about a decade, human time. But I don't understand why they can't just give me a pass - I already have a zanpakutou and I've already achieved shikai with it. Most people who've graduated can't even do that."

"But you also have to have a mastery of Kido," Rukia reminded her, "Or you'll never pass the Final Exam."

"But Kido is so boring," Masaru whined.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Karin cut in, "but I am not repairing your window for you, Ichigo." She exited the room.

I looked at the clock. 5:45! "Shit, my date with Orihime's in fifteen minutes," I swore, gathering my things, "Watch the house while I'm gone!"

Rukia grabbed my shirt before I could run off. "You have a guest, Ichigo," she told me with a pleading look in her eyes, "Can't you stay here with us?"

I snorted. "Of course not!" I said, impatient. "Orihime's waiting for me!"

I ran as fast as I could, but I was ten minutes late for my reservation. It didn't matter, Orihime wasn't there yet.

I waited. And waited. At ten to seven, I called Orihime. "Huh?" she exclaimed over the phone. "Oh my, is it that late already? I'm so sorry, Kurosaki-kun, time just got away from me, that's all..." I heard her talking to someone, then she said, "I'll be right there, Kurosaki-kun, don't worry!"

Fifteen minutes later, Orihime arrived, panting, at the restaurant. "I really am sorry, Kurosaki-kun, I'll be more careful next time," she said, her huge eyes staring at me in repentance, "I was with Ishida-kun, and we completely lost track of time!"

Mention of Ishida threw me off a little, but I calmed myself and asked politely, "What did you do with him?"

"Oh, we were down by the river, and Tatsuki was there at first, but then she left and we were still having just as much fun."

Okay, this is awkward. But I think I'm the only one who thinks so.

I quietly listened to Orihime go on and on about something or other, distracted by her description of the day. I knew that Ishida and Orihime were very close friends, but it still bothered me that she had spent the whole day with him and not with me, even though I'd had absolutely nothing to entertain myself the entire time.

At the end of the date, I walked Orihime home and went on my way alone.

I think I might be an idiot.

Mouchies; I know about the change in Rukia's living conditions and all that, but I like her better in the closet, so in the closet she'll stay. (Wow, that sounded weird...)
Toushiro; Apparently, anyone who reviews gets a "plushie" of their choice. Hooplah.
Mouchies; I want a plushie of Chibi-suke!
Toushiro; Don't call me that.
Pleezpleezpleez review! I don't care if you flame(though I would appreciate some constructive criticism more than anything...)!

FYI; chibi = little, suke = man or manly, so chibi-suke = little man.