Dear Hange or whoever may read this,
God has blessed me such a wonderful life that I haven't had free time to write. Help truly does come to those who ask and I am so thankful my husband Levi has given me a second chance by sending me to this institution. Me, a poor young girl, is getting another chance thanks to Levi and God and I'm so grateful for their grace. I'm having such a wonderful time here. Not only are the accommodations here in Bedlam wonderful (those silly penny dreadfuls simply don't know what they're talking about!) but the staff is very kind. Crazy people do roam around every so often but it's not as bad as people would make it out to be and in fact I've made a good friend in my time here. He is named Eren and he's quite nice. Is prone to violent fits every so often but the doctors are able to calm him down in no time. Not that he would ever hurt me, but he could injure himself. A few others are the same so the staff has lots of practice injecting drugs into him while he's trashing. True blue drugs though, they don't hurt him.
Man, the one with the smooth blond hair and odd turquoise pendant around his neck, came in and checked up on me earlier to see how bad my insanity was today. He is nameless to me so all I can call him is Man. Is it bad I don't know my doctors name, yes, but he's never given it to me so it's not my fault. A mystery is just something it will always be just like how Man is encouraging me to discontinue my studies of Greek mythology. Monster will appear around every corner and I will scare myself too much with old stories, he said to me today when he found a book on my bed.
He said Levi had tipped him off that I have a love of scary stories and it was mostly Levi's decision to cut me off from the stories because he said they made me paranoid and that's my downfall. Killed our baby because of paranoia and insanity, that's why he sent me here. Our family was ruined by me but instead of a prison Levi opted for me to stay in an institution. Unborn was our child so the police couldn't charge me murder, thank goodness, so Levi chose the more forgiving option and instead having me locked up for the rest of my life. "Child," he told me, "you just need to have your insanity fixed. Once you're cured you may come home." And although I was terrified of Bedlam before I arrived, once I got here I realized I had nothing to fear. Put me in a state of mind to realize my shortcomings and work with the doctors on curing my insanity. Me, a poor young girl, is getting another chance.
In here there is also a nice young girl named Nifa who killed her whole family. Here is a kindred soul, a girl turned to villainy by a disease in her head, but the doctors won't let us see each other much. So alike are we that we might set back each other's progress, the doctors say, so we rarely see each other but when we do it is a joyous occasion. I really do like Nifa and I wish the doctors let us see each other more but I figured once we are cured I will invite her to mine and Levi's mansion for tea. Won't that just be a wonderful thing, having tea with a friend in my husband's parlor? Be it soon, it won't, but I still look forward to it. Taken around to the back she is quite often, for cutting edge treatments.
Seriously, while it is nice here I do miss my mansion and my husband. "Please Lord," I pray every night, "help heal my sickness so I may return to Levi soon." Help has also come in the form of my father, a very high-ranking political official. Me is a person he misses quite a bit as we were very close before I married Levi and he will be pleased when I am released from Bedlam. I'm very much looking forward to seeing him. Scared of disappointing him, I admit I have that, but I'm sure once I'm fully cured he will understand that my murderous rage was caused my insanity. I'll also have to assume Levi will be the same, since I did hurt him during the night I killed our child. Die of embarrassment will probably be something I'll face going back into the socialite life, no doubt rumors have been flying, but as long as I have Levi by my side I will be fine.
Here, I've written far more than I thought I would! "Please Lord, help cure my loquaciousness," is what I should be praying for instead of for help with my insanity! Help my head, heaven, it truly needs you! Me, a poor young girl with a father that can easily defend her with the law if it was needed and a very attractive husband, should be finishing up this diary entry as it's gone on too much and Levi and the doctors would think I've overworked myself writing all of this so for now, my friend, goodbye.