A/N: I love when something just comes into your head. There I was watching the Kiss scene and Kurt says that line. (The title of this story) And all this came flooding out. It's not edited. I wanted it to be a kind of spontaneous drabble of Blaine's thoughts, so it seemed more natural to not edit (Obviously I went over to check grammar/spellings etc. But I didn't delete any of the lines). Could you please tell me what you make of it? I'm thinking about posting it on tumblr (something I've never done) but only want to if I know it's OK. Thank you.
Disclaimer: Ryan, Ian, Brad
Why did you Pick me to Sing that Song With?
Why? Why not Kurt? Why would I ever want to sing with someone... to someone... over you? You're my best friend; my closest friend. I would never lie to you even if I desperately wanted to because being honest with each other is everything our relationship is based on. When I'm with other people I find myself thinking about spending time with you instead, or the times we've spent together. You make me laugh more than anyone else in the world. You make me smile and relax.
I'm so uptight. So scared of being myself; of what others think. But with you; Kurt with you, I can always be myself. I can talk for hours about Vogue, I can get overly excited over Broadway; I can laugh. Laugh like I never have before. Because you don't judge me. You accept me for every crazy quirk. With you, I find myself not striving to fit in. I can loosen up. I can forget. I can smile.
And you do it too. I see that facade you put up around your other friends. When we're alone, you could never do that. I can see right through it. And you can see through me. There's no pretending with you.
I've never felt so comfortable with someone my entire life.
And you, you're so brave. You walk in your designer clothes, with your head held high, your contempt for other's opinions obvious. Your friends think it's because you aren't scared what others think and what they will whisper behind your back. But I know you are scared. And feel alone and you want to cry. But you're brave because... well because you go out and do what you want in spite of being afraid. And I could never do that. Or at least I didn't think I could... up until I met you.
When you're with me, I feel... I feel elated. High, even. I want to hold your hand constantly. I want to hold you and tell you how amazing you are. You're the best friend ever and ever and ever! I want you to know I am crazy about you. You occupy my every single dream and thought. I just never realized. Not until now.
I was so determined, Kurt, to make sure I would never chance ruining what I have with you. I value us and our friendship above anyone and anything. You make me feel valued and... and loved. And no one else can do that apart from you. I've always liked you, Kurt. But I wouldn't trade a few months of making out for my relationship I have now with you.
I always thought you were beautiful. From the moment I saw you on those stairs. You looked amazing and fresh and alive. And you can't see it. You don't see how outstandingly beautiful you are. Your compassion and morality moves me so much. It just makes you all the more attractive.
And I realize now that by not taking a step further- by not telling you how in love with you I am- that will be what ruins us. You ask me that question. I could lie... or bend the truth. Our voices go well together, we're the best singers in there; I don't want to be "Blaine and the Pips" anymore. But then I remember your blushing face at The Lima Bean. Your confession about your feelings, which you admitted because "We've always been completely honest with each other."
And I have to tell you. I have to swallow my pride and finally practice that "Courage" thing I am always preaching. I have to tell you, Kurt Hummel, I don't want to be just your friend. And that I want to do this duet because I want to be with you. I want to spend time with you. And I really want to kiss you.
And you're looking at me so expectantly. And for a moment I consider lying, and then it's gone. Because I need to tell you.
Because you move me. And this duet isn't for Regional's, really. I can't believe how selfish I'm being, but that doesn't matter because your voice is outstanding so our chances at Regional's can only be improved by this. This duet is just an excuse for me to spend more time with you.