As Drunk As A - Walrus?
A/N Hey guys! This is a little one shot about Percy getting a bit more than drunk at a party. The title will make mor sense later on. Also note that none of the missed spelled words are mistakes. It's just how Percy was talking, so sound them out the best you can.
I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Rick Riordan does.
The music was so loud, Annabeth was sure her head was going to explode. She had been at this stupid party for 20 minutes and has been sneezed on once, spit on three times, and had been 'accidentally' kicked in the shin. So now she had to limp everywhere.
And to make it all worse, she couldn't find her seaweed brain of a boyfriend. She knew he was around here somewhere, he was the one who brought her here in the first place.
Finally, she spotted an unmistakable head of black hair and began to limp in that direction. As she was pushing through the crowd, two testosterone filled, teenage guys broke out into a fight right in front of her.
Avoiding the grapple that would undoubtably be over in a matter of seconds, she found her way over to Percy.
"Hey," she screamed trying to out do the musical volume. Percy turned around, becoming face to face with her. He had an extra goofy grin plastered to his face, while his eyes were half open. "You're drunk," she said. Less as a question, more as a statement.
"Ima n'just awittle bit b-b-jrunk," he said holding up three fingers.
"What the hell does that mean? Look Percy, I just want to get out of here. Okay?" She asked. Her tolerance levels were going down like a deflating balloon. And the throbbing in her left leg defiantly didn't help.
"Wheut? But the farty is jusf gettinin started. I'ms not event that drunk." He took another swig of the bear in his hand while looking deep into her eyes.
"Oh really? Then why is your voice slurred? Hm?"
"Mway voice is snot slrrrred. I am ju-ust speaking in cursive." He spouted out, fixing a half-smirk, half-grin on his face, like he had just won the Nobel Piece Prize.
She huffed in disappointment. Partly in drunk Percy's stubbornness and partly in the fact that she really wanted to go, and it didn't exactly look like that was happening soon.
"Percy, I really just want to go home." She said with an angry tone that Percy either didn't notice or chose to ignore.
"But An'beth, I really won't dant to go home." He stuck his bottom lip out and opened his eyes to the best of his ability.
"We need to go. Percy, your as drunk as a-"
"Walrus!" Percy shouted cutting off her about-to-be speech.
"Percyyyy!"
"Your beautifal. You, are wike, super duper hooper snooper beautiful. And a love youwooowooo so much, that like, every timemu I see you, mine heart bu-jumps out of ma chest." She felt a blush spread to her cheeks before taking his hand and checking the watch that rest on his right wrist.
"Shit," she cursed under her breath. "Percy, it is almost two o'clock. We need to go. Please."
He made a face like he was thinking it over. "Fine we'll go. But it's only because your so gorgeous."
"For a drunk guy, you have a pretty wide vocabulary." Annabeth stated while dragging him to the front door of the house.
"I think you might find that my drunk vocabulary is quite complex." He said in a matter-of-factly tone. She just rolled her eyes, while walking out the door.
The night was perfect for a college party. It was warm with a nice cool breeze. The stars sparkled brightly in the darkness of the sky. Annabeth took this moment to realize that it was also the perfect night for a romantic date. But not every thing happens as she expects it to. Especially when she is dragging a stumbling and mumbling kelp head behind her.
She reached Percy's car and hopped in the drivers seat, much to Percy's complaints.
Once she was situated and ready to go, she realized she was missing something: Percy.
"Dammit!" She hurries to get out of the car and walks around the it. Only to find nothing. But, in the time it took to process this thought, someone behind her pushed her against the car.
Annabeth whipped around only to come face to face with her stupid boyfriend.
"What in Hades! Perseus Jackson, get off of me right now!" She said as he pushed his body to hers.
He grinned at her, showing his straight, white teeth. He gave a little grunt noise before closing his eyes and dropping to the ground.
Now, while a normal girlfriend would start freaking out and call for help, Annabeth simply looked down at Percy in disappointment.
"Why!" She yelled up at the sky, as if the gods could help her in her current situation.
After around 30 minutes, Annabeth had Percy snoring and drooling away next to her as she pulled up in front of there apartment building.
There was no way in Hades she was going to lug him up to the fourth floor so she left him in the car while she snuggled up in there big bed with all the warm covers to herself.
The next morning, the first thing Percy noticed was the sound of sirens and people screaming. Oh, what it's like living in New York.
The second thing he noticed was the pounding in his head. What was he doing last night? Using his head as a hammer?
As he started to move position he felt a disturbance in his lower zone. Reaching into his pants he pulled out a piece of paper.
The paper was white with a picture of a walrus on it. The walrus had a martini in one hand and a beer in the other. At the top in bright pink letters it said 'I'm as drunk as a walrus!'
Percy squished his face up in a most certainly unattractive way.
"Walruses don't get drunk." He said before tossing the paper to his feet and assuming the fetal position to try and snag a couple more hours of sleep before Annabeth woke him up.
Wait a second, why was he in his car?