Understanding

Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist or their characters. Just borrowing them for a while ;)

Fandom: The Mentalist

Pairing: Jane/Lisbon

Words: 1060

Summary: And she isn't sure how to act around him without limits. (Jane/Lisbon. Post 2x06.)

A/N: Hey, everyone! This is my first time writing fanfiction. I'm just sooo in love with The Mentalist that I couldn't help it. My English is not that good, so I'll probably write one-shots only (I'm afraid of writing anything longer, lol).

Hope you'll like it!

It had been an exhaustive week.

Even when he was in jail, he managed to make her life a complete disaster.

She didn't ask much of him, really. Just a little responsibility, some respect… or at least not to do anything extremely stupid (like escaping, for example), while she tried to fix the problem.

But in the end (as always), everything worked out just fine: Jane discovered the murderer, closed another case. Bosco dropped the charges.

All back to normal.

(And nothing like "Does he mean that much to you?" or "Is that all it is?" ever crosses her mind. Not even for a second.)

She's in her office, doing old paperwork, even when she knows she should have left at least an hour ago. But she doesn't feel like leaving, and it's not that late anyway.

(The fact that he's staying too, it's just a mere coincidence. Really.)

She hears sounds of movement, and a few minutes later he's standing at her office's door, with a cup of coffee in his hand. She doesn't look up, pretending she isn't aware of his presence. (Even though she knows that he knows that, in fact, she totally is.)

He walks closer, until he's in front of her desk. She still doesn't look.

"Hey, Lisbon…" His voice almost a whisper, as he sits on the border of her desk (toofuckingclose). "Thought you'd like some coffee." He puts the coffee down.

She doesn't even ask anymore how the hell he knew she wanted coffee. He just knows.

(All she sees is blue, his eyes watching her every move. But she's completely okay with that).

"Thanks… didn't know you were still here."

He gives her that look, the one that says: I know you're lying to me. But he lets her have this one. He's tired, too.

"Still doing paperwork, huh?"

"Yeah, it never seems to end..." She chuckles. He smiles a bit.

And it's so… weird, this situation. Jane and Lisbon, having a casual conversation. No games, no embarrassment, no mind reading. Just chatting like normal coworkers.

(But he's still too close.)

"So…I think I'll get going. It's late, and not even coffee will keep me awake tomorrow." She says with a smile, as she stands up. (Calm and collected).

He walks around her desk, and suddenly he's right in front of her.

(And she can't react.)

"Lisbon…" he says softly, as he touches her cheek with his index finger, carefully trailing down her neck. (All she sees is blue).

"Jane, don't…" a sigh escapes her lips.

(Don't what? don't do it, don't ever stop… she can't rationalize.)

And she remembers… "He does love you… how could he not?", and she feels like she's loosing all her control. Because he's misleading, and broken, and she can't deal with that (him) right now.

"Please, Lisbon, stop thinking. I can hear how your brain is working." He whispers in her ear, his lips against her skin.

She manages (somehow) to force herself to push him slightly off her, her hands in his chest.

"We can't do this. It's bad and, most importantly, it's against the rules of the CBI." She's barely breathing, looking anywhere but him, knowing that her excuse is pretty lame and not convincing.

"You sound really sure about that, really." He says, mockingly.

"I mean it. What the hell were you thinking, Jane?" Now she sounds almost as herself.

(But her hands are still on his chest, unmoving.)

"Oh, come on, Lisbon! Don't play stupid, it doesn't suit you." He sounds angry, but still calm; she doesn't understand. "You're going to tell me you feel nothing? That this" He gestures them both. "is a normal "working relationship"?"

And suddenly, she realizes that the game they've been playing all along has developed a whole new set of rules.

(And she isn't sure how to act around him without limits.)

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jane." She says, finally taking her hands off his chest, crossing her arms as she fakes confidence.

"Why are you doing this, Lisbon? Why do you refuse to let yourself go?" He asks, pleadingly. Concerned.

(But his eyes see everything, know everything, and she just can't take it anymore.)

"Why are you doing this, Jane?" Now she's the angry one; and for the first time, he doesn't get it.

"A few weeks ago, we were just two people that happened to work together. There was nothing here for you, remember? Just the hope of catching Red John. And suddenly, one day to another, you care about people, you care about me. Now, you decide that we're not longer coworkers, but we have a deeper relationship. When the hell did that happen, Jane?"

For once, he's speechless. (And she hasn't finished yet.)

"One day I'm your boss, the next I'm your friend, or even your enemy. And I just can't stand it. You can't label me depending on your mood of the day."

(Because it hurts. It hurts to see how easily is for him to walk away from her, and then come back; like nothing's changed.)

A tear is threatening to fall, and she doesn't want him to see her like that, so vulnerable.

He gently takes her chin up, so she's seeing right into his (sofreakingblue) eyes.

"I'm sorry Lisbon. I… I just want to move forward. Let it all go." And her heart aches for him, when she sees how broken he is. "I'm sorry for trying to drag you with me. I should have asked for permission first." He jokes, trying to ease the obvious tension. She gives him a small smile.

"It's okay. I'm glad you're trying to get better. But… maybe I'm not the best option." She swallows hard.

(She wants to scream so badly. Don't leave me behind, just… give me time.)

He gets closer, and draws her towards him, his arms around her.

"For me, you're the only option." He whispers in her hair.

She doesn't protest, just clings to him even more. A wave of relief washes over her. Because he understands.

She can't be with him, but she can't let him go either.

But everything's gonna be okay. Because when they get together… when she's ready, they will fix each other. They'll forget all their past; no more regrets.

(And for a second, she almost believes it.)

by blondieland.