Resident Evil: Hell on Earth
Chapter 1: A City In Ruins
"Mr. Johnson, inform the head scientist that we have orders to complete another T-0 whatever!?" said one of Umbrella's delivery boys.
"Shit! I just finished two of those mother-fuckers and that bastard wants another!!? Tell him I'll get him one, damn fucker . . . "replied Mr. Johnson, Umbrella's supply and demand guru (he was really the one that did the science, but he never got credit.)"
At the same time, off the remains of Raccoon Hell . . . uh, City, two mysterious figures stood, looking at the ruins of the once-proud city. "Those Parasol faggets, ruining our homes." Said Curtis, the eldest of the two survivors, at 27.
"I thought that bunch of motherfuckers were Umbrella?" replied David, age 25, retired member of U.B.C.S. ( Umbrella Biohazard Counter Service).
"We should beat the shit outta those fucking bastards for ruining our town. I gotta rocket launcher from that fat guy's shop (RE2). What do you got?"
"I have a gattling gun."
"The Hell? How?"
"It was for being the first person to lay a member of S.T.A.R.S. (cough Jill cough)
"I won't ask."
"So, lets go kick ass, bring that damn place to hell!"
"Damn strait, to London!"
Chapter 2: S.T.A.R.S. vs U.B.C.S.
Once they walked to Mole City (across the Racoon Mountains), our heroes flew to London. "Which building is Umbrellas?" asked Curtis.
"The one by the airport."
"Oh."
When they arrived, some members of S.T.A.R.S. were there. "What the fuck is goin' on, your dead!" yelled Curtis.
"Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!!" exclaimed David as he saw Jill.
David ran over and began making love. The process that happened was . . . Hey, what the Hell? {Nemesis kills anouncer} "The following contains explicit material in a police car, so we shall not go into details.
After a long time making up an excuse, our heroes discovered S.T.A.R.S. had planned a raid on Umbrella, but the U.B.C.S. was guarding the door. "Yo, Mikey?" said David.
"Bro, where you gone, we been looking for you, the boss wants to talk.." said Mikey.
"Ya dawg, be bringin' pals to homie, chill."
So our heroes and S.T.A.R.S. entered. A scream behind! Curtis ran out. A hunter had decapitated Mikey! "Shit!!" said Curtis as he turned it into the other red meat.
After joining the group, they were greeted by U.B.C.S. However, they got the fuck beat from them, and two S.T.A.R.S. members were killed.
Chapter 3: Project D
They proceeded, until they reached the lab. Using her hacking skills, Jill opened the computer log. "Guys, were screwed.
The entry read: April 19- We've begun work on a new virus, D type.
June 30- The virus is ready, it is being prepared for shipment.
July 20- There's been an accident. The truck spilled 50 tons of liquid and gas D-virus. They are making us wear clean suits.
August 3- I've developed a rash on my back. The doctor says I can take of the suit.
August 13- A rotting lump of flesh fell of my arm. What's happening to me?
September 24- I'm losing human skills, intelligence, morality, even love. As I wright, the coldness inside me grows. . .
December 8- I'm losing it, I can't hold on. This morning I ate Craig!
"Fuck!!!!!" yelled everyone in unison.
"Hey this tube is cracked . . ." said Curtis.
David destroyed it with his gun. Liquid viral enhancer (yeah, right) came pouring out. , but so did a monster. Oozing with guts, the Nemesis v.3 was woken.
Chapter 4: Scoop Scoop, Yum Yum
The monster ran at the group at full speed, the gattling gun and rocket launcher doing shit. It missed the first time, slamming into a computer. It 's intestines shot out like a tentacle . . . at Jill. David ran in front of it. Getting the fucking shit beat out of him. "Ohh." Said David as his flesh became rotten, a rash broke out . . .
"The fucker infected him! Off with his head too!" said Curtis.
"No, don't!" yelled Jill.
"Why, planning to sleep with a zombie?"
"No, but I can save him. Bide me fifteen minutes, and I'll cure him."
"OK. Yo, fuck daddy, you want some?" said Bob, a member of S.T.A.R.S. as he mooned the Nemesis.
The Nemesis grabbed him and ate him . . . whole. He then ran at Curtis. Curtis backflipped and shot the Nemesis with a rocket, blowing it's armor apart, and blood spraying in more places than Bill Clinton has screwed guys. "Come on, you freak!" he said as he shot three more, causing him to lose half his skin. "You can do better than that! Well can't you?" Curtis realized his weapon was empty and gulped.
Suddenly, 200 bullets per second were smacking the freak. David was cured. He threw another missile to Curtis. (RE always has the rocket launcher saving you) "Blow him open, hurry! And Jill, activate selfdestruct for the base."
"Right."
"Got it."
As the missile hit the exhausted Nemesis, the base caught fire. Everyone started running, but not before Curtis and David flicked the bitch off.
Epilogue: The Ride Home
On the captor ride back to the states, Jill got fucked, Curtis reloaded, and David found out fertility drugs were in the intestines: Jill was pregnant.
To be Continued. . . .
This story is written by Exavier, with explicit additions from NeoBird436 and comedic help from SuperSonic. I don't own RE, but I own Curtis, NeoBird436 owns David, and SuperSonic owns the others that aren't in the series.
Chapter 1: A City In Ruins
"Mr. Johnson, inform the head scientist that we have orders to complete another T-0 whatever!?" said one of Umbrella's delivery boys.
"Shit! I just finished two of those mother-fuckers and that bastard wants another!!? Tell him I'll get him one, damn fucker . . . "replied Mr. Johnson, Umbrella's supply and demand guru (he was really the one that did the science, but he never got credit.)"
At the same time, off the remains of Raccoon Hell . . . uh, City, two mysterious figures stood, looking at the ruins of the once-proud city. "Those Parasol faggets, ruining our homes." Said Curtis, the eldest of the two survivors, at 27.
"I thought that bunch of motherfuckers were Umbrella?" replied David, age 25, retired member of U.B.C.S. ( Umbrella Biohazard Counter Service).
"We should beat the shit outta those fucking bastards for ruining our town. I gotta rocket launcher from that fat guy's shop (RE2). What do you got?"
"I have a gattling gun."
"The Hell? How?"
"It was for being the first person to lay a member of S.T.A.R.S. (cough Jill cough)
"I won't ask."
"So, lets go kick ass, bring that damn place to hell!"
"Damn strait, to London!"
Chapter 2: S.T.A.R.S. vs U.B.C.S.
Once they walked to Mole City (across the Racoon Mountains), our heroes flew to London. "Which building is Umbrellas?" asked Curtis.
"The one by the airport."
"Oh."
When they arrived, some members of S.T.A.R.S. were there. "What the fuck is goin' on, your dead!" yelled Curtis.
"Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!!" exclaimed David as he saw Jill.
David ran over and began making love. The process that happened was . . . Hey, what the Hell? {Nemesis kills anouncer} "The following contains explicit material in a police car, so we shall not go into details.
After a long time making up an excuse, our heroes discovered S.T.A.R.S. had planned a raid on Umbrella, but the U.B.C.S. was guarding the door. "Yo, Mikey?" said David.
"Bro, where you gone, we been looking for you, the boss wants to talk.." said Mikey.
"Ya dawg, be bringin' pals to homie, chill."
So our heroes and S.T.A.R.S. entered. A scream behind! Curtis ran out. A hunter had decapitated Mikey! "Shit!!" said Curtis as he turned it into the other red meat.
After joining the group, they were greeted by U.B.C.S. However, they got the fuck beat from them, and two S.T.A.R.S. members were killed.
Chapter 3: Project D
They proceeded, until they reached the lab. Using her hacking skills, Jill opened the computer log. "Guys, were screwed.
The entry read: April 19- We've begun work on a new virus, D type.
June 30- The virus is ready, it is being prepared for shipment.
July 20- There's been an accident. The truck spilled 50 tons of liquid and gas D-virus. They are making us wear clean suits.
August 3- I've developed a rash on my back. The doctor says I can take of the suit.
August 13- A rotting lump of flesh fell of my arm. What's happening to me?
September 24- I'm losing human skills, intelligence, morality, even love. As I wright, the coldness inside me grows. . .
December 8- I'm losing it, I can't hold on. This morning I ate Craig!
"Fuck!!!!!" yelled everyone in unison.
"Hey this tube is cracked . . ." said Curtis.
David destroyed it with his gun. Liquid viral enhancer (yeah, right) came pouring out. , but so did a monster. Oozing with guts, the Nemesis v.3 was woken.
Chapter 4: Scoop Scoop, Yum Yum
The monster ran at the group at full speed, the gattling gun and rocket launcher doing shit. It missed the first time, slamming into a computer. It 's intestines shot out like a tentacle . . . at Jill. David ran in front of it. Getting the fucking shit beat out of him. "Ohh." Said David as his flesh became rotten, a rash broke out . . .
"The fucker infected him! Off with his head too!" said Curtis.
"No, don't!" yelled Jill.
"Why, planning to sleep with a zombie?"
"No, but I can save him. Bide me fifteen minutes, and I'll cure him."
"OK. Yo, fuck daddy, you want some?" said Bob, a member of S.T.A.R.S. as he mooned the Nemesis.
The Nemesis grabbed him and ate him . . . whole. He then ran at Curtis. Curtis backflipped and shot the Nemesis with a rocket, blowing it's armor apart, and blood spraying in more places than Bill Clinton has screwed guys. "Come on, you freak!" he said as he shot three more, causing him to lose half his skin. "You can do better than that! Well can't you?" Curtis realized his weapon was empty and gulped.
Suddenly, 200 bullets per second were smacking the freak. David was cured. He threw another missile to Curtis. (RE always has the rocket launcher saving you) "Blow him open, hurry! And Jill, activate selfdestruct for the base."
"Right."
"Got it."
As the missile hit the exhausted Nemesis, the base caught fire. Everyone started running, but not before Curtis and David flicked the bitch off.
Epilogue: The Ride Home
On the captor ride back to the states, Jill got fucked, Curtis reloaded, and David found out fertility drugs were in the intestines: Jill was pregnant.
To be Continued. . . .
This story is written by Exavier, with explicit additions from NeoBird436 and comedic help from SuperSonic. I don't own RE, but I own Curtis, NeoBird436 owns David, and SuperSonic owns the others that aren't in the series.