Title: The Reckoning

Author: Fallenbelle2

Rating: Teen for adult situations

Spoilers: No specific episode, just general season 8 issues.

Summary: "After everything they had sacrificed and went through to finally marry and be together, how the hell had this happened?"

Genre: Angst, angst, and angst.

Notes: Plenty of folk have written stories that sought to fix the lack of Jilliam in season 8, but I seem to have gone the opposite route in that I decided to embrace the angst. Part of me likes it as is, because I'm not sure the show is going to fix Jilliam, and I don't really like going too AU in my fics. Although, I'm sure you'll tell me that this needs subsequent chapters, I just don't know if I can do it. But I am working on it, and you may be pleasantly surprised. For now, the story is complete.

As Julia closed the door to their suite behind her, she immediately noticed the light coming from the parlor. She had stayed late to work on some files, and came home later than she had meant to. But, as William hadn't called, she assumed that he had done the same, and hadn't thought to call and inform him of her late return once she realized the hour. They were a modern couple-they didn't need to explain themselves to one another.

Most surprisingly, it seemed William had beat her home and with a light step and smile on her face, she went to greet him-stopping abruptly at the sight that greeted her.

Her normally fastidiously presented man was anything but: tie and vest removed, collar and top buttons undone, sleeves rolled up fully revealing his attractive forearms and his even more beautiful hands-wrapped around a cut glass whiskey tumbler.

His hair was also unkempt, as he'd clearly been running his hands through it, and his eyes were unfocused-no doubt from the drink. Julia wondered how much he'd imbibed and her eyes immediately went to the still mostly full decanter of whiskey sat upon the table.

Relieved, she let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding before acknowledging that William wouldn't need much to be well under the influence, and judging from his dark and melancholic disposition, he was indeed drunk.

Or, was he drunk because he was in a dark and melancholic mood. Julia knew she had to tread carefully-she wasn't all that experienced with a drunken, moody William.

Come to think about it, she doubted that he was that knowledgeable about his drunken moodiness either.

"Good Evening, William. To what occasion do we owe this?" she asked, gesturing towards his beverage.

His response was a short bitter laugh as he downed the remaining contents of his tumbler and stood up, pushing past her. Putting on his coat and hat, he left their suite with nary an explanation.

All right, so she could add angry to melancholic and dark as well. Undoubtedly he felt she'd done something wrong, but as she sat down and refilled the tumbler with two fingers of whiskey for herself she couldn't think of what that might be until she noticed that laying on the couch next to her was a photograph of her taken years ago, as well as copies of their engagement and wedding announcements for the Toronto Gazette.

It wasn't yet their wedding anniversary-nor either one of their birthdays, as she knew she hadn't forgotten those dates, but she realized that it was the anniversary of their engagement as she glanced at the announcements. Too late, she remembered that William had reminded her to be home on time tonight for the past several nights as he had a surprise. Standing up to look around, she saw where a romantic candlelit dinner for two had been set along with a dozen roses and a beautifully wrapped gift lay alongside her place setting. The meal was long cold and the candles had long burned down-silently testifying how late and inconsiderate she'd truly been. Collapsing back onto the couch and into the cushions, she felt as though she'd received a blow to the chest, and she suddenly had trouble breathing.

Wincing, she immediately knew he must have thought that she didn't care as she had remembered his promises to never stop courting her and the care he'd obviously taken with this evening's plans.

When had she ceased to make him her priority? She was undoubtedly his, and she knew he was deservedly angry and hurt that she didn't make a similar effort. Truth was, William was an infinitely better husband than she was a wife, and she was forced to admit to herself that perhaps her own efforts were sorely lacking.

Sipping the whiskey, she tried to block out her thoughtless actions, waiting for his eventual return while reflecting on the state of their marriage and admitting to herself that her current model of modern marriage (which she did want) was not the exact version thereof she truly wanted.

But that was the trouble with a modern marriage-what was it supposed to look like? She knew her and William wanted to forge a new relationship for the 20th century, but the problem with 20th century marriages was that exemplars were few and far between. She didn't know anyone else who had a marriage like her and William to even ask for advice or use as a model.

She only knew what she didn't want, so she wondered. And waited. And like her husband had before, she drank while waiting for his return.

At some point, she must have fallen asleep, because at some point during the night she was awakened when she felt herself being picked up and carried into their bedroom. She knew instinctively that it was William and she wrapped her arms around his neck, even through her drunken, sleepy haze happy at his return as he laid her gently down onto the bed.

But rather than be tucked into bed however, he joined her, laying on top of her, immediately taking her mouth in a kiss full of passion. Quickly gathering her wits about her, she returned his fervor, eager to demonstrate physically what words could not express.

Truth be told, they'd never been good at words-actions suited them far better.

As they lay spent afterwards, she felt reassured that they could still work things out; the damage her inattentiveness had caused wasn't irreparable. She lay in his arms as he stroked her bare back, his thumb pressing over so softly into her spine-an action William knew Julia loved- as he buried his face into her hair.

Julia felt like the most beloved woman on earth, and she fell asleep satisfied and content.

Which was why she was disappointed to discover that he had already left when she awoke the next morning. But considering they'd just shared a night of passion that hadn't been experienced since their honeymoon, she wasn't too hurt. A talk was long overdue, but she was confident that they'd work things out. They always did.

Later at work and in-between patients, and knowing that they needed to talk, she thought about what she wanted their marriage to look like, and how she could explain that to William.

When she arrived home earlier than usual that afternoon so that she could surprise him with a special evening for them of her own efforts, she was surprised to see that William was already home.

Only he wasn't making preparations for a romantic evening. He was packing his things into his valise.

"William? Are you going somewhere? A case?"

William bit his lip and looked down at the floor before looking her in the eye. " I am going somewhere, but it's not a case, Julia. I think it's best if we separate-at least for a while anyway. But you don't need to do anything, I've taken a room at another hotel for a few days until I can find some more permanent accommodations," he quietly said before continuing. "I'll let you know of my permanent lodgings once they've been secured, but until then, you can reach me at the station if there's an emergency. But otherwise, we probably shouldn't speak to one another for a few days. We both have a lot to think about," he finished with an air of sadness.

"So, that's it? Just like that, you've decided that our marriage is over, and you're leaving me?" she angrily spat.

"You're the one who decided that you weren't interested in a marriage! I tried, Julia, I really did. I know I fell short years ago in demonstrating how important you were to me, and I did everything I could to convey that to you this time around. I've given into all of your requests-sometimes against my better judgment. I've made every effort to show and tell you what you meant to me-you know I'm terrible with words, but I've tried to tell you, and when I couldn't do that, I did every action I could think of, but it wasn't enough." he shot back.

"So now you're giving up? We're done, just like that? I never thought you would ever divorce me, William. You promised me forever! Have you already forgotten those declarations you made to me? Our wedding vows? I thought you were a man of your word, or has another woman made you forget those oaths," she shouted, throwing a pillow at him.

Catching the pillow with his hands, he tossed it back onto the sofa before continuing, "Julia, you're everything to me. You're my greatest strength as well as my weakness-why else would my adversaries have used you to get to me? Besides, you know that I could never divorce you, Julia. There will never be another woman for me. I'll love you until my dying breath, and even into eternity. Julia, it's you and no other. But I can't pretend anymore. I can't live in matrimony with a woman who desires me only for stud service and occasional companionship."

Julia's face contorted in anger. "Stud service! You think I married you for sexual services, William? Honestly, I can't believe you just said that" she shouted.

"Well, it certainly wasn't for any of the traditional reasons! You don't need my money, you don't need my protection, and apparently, you don't even need my affections! I have nothing else to give, Julia! I gave you everything I had, and apparently, it just wasn't enough. I can't give you anything else," he cried.

"Don't tell me you're still hung up on being a provider, William. I've told you that the money is ours-I don't expect you to provide for me, and I don't know how else to get that point into your thick skull!"

"I'm sorry, Julia. I'll come by another time for the rest of my things, if that's all right," he said softly, picking up his valise and walking towards the door.

Removing both her engagement and wedding rings, she got in the last word. "You may as well take these with you now," she shouted, throwing them at him. They bounced off his chest and onto the floor, where she caught the look of pain flash across his face as he bent down to pick them up.

Slipping them into his pocket, he put on his hat and left their suite.

As she heard the door close, she grabbed the vase of flowers and threw it across the room before sinking onto the floor in tears. After everything they had sacrificed and went through to finally marry and be together, how the hell had this happened?

She didn't want to live without him, but she didn't know how she could even begin to fix this. After having cried for an indeterminable time, she picked herself up off the floor, and staggered over to the drink cart, where she poured herself a large serving of whiskey and quickly drank it before pouring herself another. She didn't want to think about the implosion of yet another marriage tonight. Perhaps tomorrow.

Maybe.