gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
GG: hi john!
EB: oh, hi jade!
GG: happy birthday! :)
EB: thanks!
EB: i can't wait until the mail comes…
EB: it's almot like the mailman is being slow on purpose
GG: don't worry!
GG: the mail will come sooner or later you just need to be patient silly :P
EB: yeah, i guess you are right.
EB: but it is hard, waiting around when i know from dave's endless hinting that you guys got something awesome for me!
GG: oh well.
GG: you will just have to wait patiently like the rest of us! :)
EB: bluh.
EB: fiiine.
GG: bye!
GG: 3
gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
Jade Harley let out a little squeal and spun around in her chair. She couldn't wait until John got his present.
Earlier that week…
Three kids from three different time zones meet up in a boiling hot city in Texas. They are here to make a present for their internet friend John, and before now, had never seen each other in person.
"Okay, is everyone here?"
"There are three of us Harley, it's probably real fucking easy to see if everyone's here."
Jade made a face in Dave's direction, then began talking again.
"Right, so it's John's birthday, and I thought that it would be a good idea to give him a present from all of us, a sort of "thanks for being such an awesome friend" present!"
"Are you sure that John would appreciate the gesture?"
"Yes, I think he will! Dave?"
Dave sighed and leaned against the wall, putting one foot against it as he muttered in his typical cool guy way.
"I side with Harley, 'cause John's a derp and doesn't try to psychoanalyze everything damn thing around him to see if it's an act of passive aggression."
"I suppose you are correct with your rather blunt statement."
"I'm always fucking blunt. It's better to be blunt then to be insanely drawn out and start using shitty words no one else in the 21st century has even heard. Do you fucking try to be boring, I mean seriously, you could bore anyone shitless, even the a baby who has just barely started discovering the wonders of making piss fountains that look suspiciously like apple juice, and…."
"I talk too much?" Rose lifted one eyebrow in a fake questioning stare as Jade bit her lip trying not to explode into a fit of giggles. "No, brother dear, I think that my talking is much less extensive than yours, even though I am very much inclined to be more verbose than a normal person in the 21st century. The words I speak can be found in any dictionary, and I assure you that at least n more person should know of the existence of even my most unconventional words. To the toddler ramble…. I seriously doubt that. Also, Jade, don't bite off your lip."
Jade grinned widely at Rose's last comment, and cut in before Dave started rambling again.
"Okay then, everyone in agreement of giving John a joint present?"
"Yeah."
"Even though the sentimental value of aformentioned gift is lost on me, yes. The agreement is mutual."
"So, what the fuck are we gonna give Egderp anyway?"
Short Time Lapse Later...
"A picture. Are you fucking serious Harley. A picture. I think that we need your brain checked."
"Well, it's better then a smuppet."
"Hell no. Smuppets are the shit."
"Are you just proposing the idea of giving John a smuppet to appear "ironic"?"
"No…yes…maybe…fuck if I know."
"Wonderful. Strider doesn't know what to say. That's a first."
Dave opened and closed his mouth, outrage making him silent.
"Obviously, you are not very advanced at crafting sentences. It's not very hard though. Just make sounds and string them together."
"Rose… you are so fucking infuriating some times."
"I try."
Jade gave the arguing siblings another frown, which quickly morphed into a grin of absolute derpiness which only her internet friend who was not present at the moment could begin to match.
"I've got an even better idea! We'll give John a photo album!"
Dave and Rose looked up from their bickering and saw Jade clicking away on her camera.
"Okay, now, let's get a group shot!"
"Wait… did you just get all of that on camera."
"Yes! It gets even better though!"
The bespectacled girl put the camera on a stand, then ran to join her friends. As the camera went off, Dave let out the most un-masculine scream in the history of paradox space. Several impudent asses fell from the ceiling, in all colors of the rainbow.
"Motherfucking miracles. A smuppet rainbow fountain. Why Harley, why?"
Jade could not respond, as she was currently lost in a fit of giggles.
"Wow Rose, that was an awesome idea! It worked out perfectly!"
Rose was trying not to smile, but the telltale twitching of her mouth was enough to imply that she was considerably amused.
The silliness continued for the rest of the day, Jade snapping countless pictures and laughing the entire time.
In the evening the three friends were gathered around Dave's computer, picking out photos from the shoot earlier that day and some older pictures as well.
The pictures were chosen, and then taped into an enormous blue scrapbook with captions to go along.
The scrapbook was then mailed, and the three friends waved goodbye as they went back to their respective time zones.
Time skip back to the present...
A young boy is shitting around his room, immensely bored, waiting for the mail to come. He is waiting for SBURB beta, and a birthday gift that his friends have been taunting him about for days.
Time skip two years into the future….
You are now JOHN EGBERT, and you are currently looking around your house, looking for thing that you may have missed in one of your previous 2, wait 3 sweeps of the house. Yeah, there is basically nothing that could ever turn up now, you've looked basically everywhere, including Dad's bedroom. That was not a pleasant experience.
As you are about to leave the basement, you notice something. A big blue book, covered in black goop.
You open the book and flip through the pages. There are pictures of your friends and you goofing off, and you can't help but smile.