"Gloria?" I hear her indistinguishable Russian accent whisper, breaking into the sleep I'd been drifting in and out of since I'd gotten home. I breathe out a gentle murmur of reply, too drowsy to form words, and keep my eyes firmly closed. In another instant, I feel the heavy throw blanket we keep slung over the back of the sofa pulled down on top of me. Her cool hands work to gently tuck it around me, instinctively guessing correctly that I'm feeling chilled and didn't have the energy to get up to fetch the blanket myself.
"You should have called to tell me you weren't feeling well," Red softly chastises me. She sinks onto the sofa beside me and brushes the hair that has fallen into my eyes off of my face. "I would have come home earlier to take care of you."
"It's just-a cold," I reply, stretching to tilt my head back against the palm of her hand. She scratches her nails soothingly against my scalp, a comforting gesture that somehow seems to help combat against the throbbing headache I've been enduring since I woke up that morning.
"It's not just a cold, I can tell you have a fever," Red replies. Her hand slides back over to lie flat against my forehead. Her hand feels cool and heavenly there. "Did you take anything for it yet?"
"Mmmm," I groan, shaking my head ever so slightly. My lids twitch until finally I feel strong enough to open them, revealing my glassy sick brown eyes to her. I look up into Red's clear blue and whimper pitifully as I snuggle even deeper down beneath the blanket she covered me with.
"Benny didn't either," I inform her, swallowing to test how my sore throat is coming along. It feels as scratchy as sandpaper. "As soon as I picked him up from school after they called, we came home and both just crashed."
"I figured," Red replied, giving me a gentle smile. Her hand slides down my cheek, past my throbbing throat, until it rests on my aching chest, where she smoothes my blanket down unnecessarily. "I found him passed out on top of our bed. He hadn't even bothered to get under the covers before falling asleep there, but I made him get tucked in so he wouldn't be cold."
"I'm sorry," I blurt out, my entire body shivering involuntarily under her touch. Red frowns ever so slightly, as she rubs her hand over my shoulder back and forth as though to combat the chill.
"What are you sorry about?" she asks, sounding confused.
"I-I shouldn't have let him get in the bed," I stammer. "I just-I turned on the TV to my show," I motion to the television that was playing in the background as I'd fallen asleep," but Benny didn't want to watch that one. So he asked if he could go watch the television in our room and I let him."
I blurt out the entirety of my explanation as my already flushed cheeks redden even darker. Red blinks down at me in confusion. I focus on the course of her hand as it halts its rubbing of my shoulder to go wrap around the back of my head again. Then she leans forward and kisses my forehead.
"I don't know why you would apologize for that," she says softly. I sniffle back my stuffed up nose and shrug helplessly. Now I feel tempted to apologize for a different reason. For forgetting, temporarily, that things are different now and that she is nothing like him. Every time I think I'm over it, over him, something as simple as me and my son taking a sick day from work and school triggers memories. My instinctive response to walk on eggshells and not anger Arturo, who could lash out on me for the smallest of things.
"I'd like to know why the f*ck you let them crawl in on my side!" Arturo had snapped at me. His angry words had jolted me awake. The apartment was dark. It was well after ten pm and he was just getting home despite no longer having a job to go to and explain his long absences from us.
"They're sick," I reply, as though I honestly thought that would matter to him. Sitting up in the bed I shiver in the cool apartment as the air hits my bare shoulders in the baby blue tank top I put on for bed. I know immediately that I'm not feeling well either and must have caught whatever virus it is my babies had passed onto me.
"So what?" Arturo had shot back indifferently. "It doesn't help."
"It comforts them," I respond weakly. I turn my head to look down at the two sleeping little loves curled up beside me. I'd had to keep Julio home from school that day because he had the flu and Benny had been complaining that his tummy hurt since he'd gotten home so I figured he'd be joining his big brother for a sick day tomorrow. Absences from school were a stressor for me, since I couldn't afford to lose the income by closing up to take care of them. Fortunately, Tia Lourdes had been willing to come over to sit with him while I worked and I'd been loving on them ever since I'd come back upstairs . Arturo had gotten angry with me just for asking him to help out that morning.
"You're letting them breathe their disgusting germs all over this place," Arturo had yelled. "No wonder my throat is sore. You have those little brats using my pillows! I just got over being sick from the last time they gave their colds to me. Now I don't even know what pillow to use in this house. Did you let them contaminate all of them?"
My mind jolts me back to the present, Red's silhouette coming back into focus. Her hand is still caressing my hair as she sits perched on the couch beside me, ready and wanting to love on me. Her only complaint was that I hadn't called her sooner. If I'd only so much as asked, she'd have left work just to come home and play nurse to me and Benny all afternoon. It was quite unnecessary, but it made me feel loved all the same. I wasn't used to being fussed over.
"I love you so much," I croak out in my rapsy voice. Ignoring the aches and pains in my body I sit up quickly and lean over to wrap my arms around her neck. My face burrows down against her shoulder, pressing against the knit fabric of the white cardigan she is wearing. Red's arms hold onto me just as tightly. Her lips brush fluttery kisses all along the top of my head as we embrace. And then, one of her hands slacken ever so slightly. I let out a small note of protest before I feel my blanket being pulled up to cover my back and shoulders. Her arms tighten against again, this time holding the covers in place for me. It's so natural, peaceful, and wonderful.
We hear the sound of the front door opening and then footsteps. I pull back from Red's arms, resting my head against her shoulder as I look up in time to see Julio trudge into the room. He sets his backpack down on the floor before all-but falling onto the armchair across from us. He presses his forehead into the upholstery and groans.
"I don't feel good," he announces, angling his head just enough to peer over at us. I watch his expression closely, waiting for some sign of discomfort or unease for the way I'm still lying curled up against Galina, her arm wrapped around my shoulders. It doesn't come though. Our affection doesn't seem to bother him in the slightest. This recognition makes my heart do a happy little jump in my chest.
Ever since I came home and this relationship began, I'd been cautious of my sons' feelings. I'd never wanted to make them feel awkward about Galina and I together and had taking things exceedingly slow for their benefit alone. My sons had already been through so much when it came to what I'd put them through with Arturo and then being imprisoned and missing out on all those precious years. It seemed the only respectful thing to do when this began. Red and I had always restricted affection in front of the kids and until recently, we'd lived apart to give Julio and Benny their space. We'd finally moved into Red's apartment with her which I think we were all still loving, but that had only happened with the boys blessing. Julio was so comfortable with Red now, with us as a couple, and all of us a family. I pressed my cheek harder against Red's shoulder and smiled despite Julio's announcement.
"What hurts, honey?" Red asked him sympathetically. "Your head, your throat?"
"Everything," Julio replied, hugging his knees up against his chest as his sock clad feet curled up on the armchair. "I'm cold," he added weakly.
Red stood up from the couch, withdrawing her arm from around my shoulders. I let my head fall back down onto the throw pillow I'd been resting it on when she'd walked in and watched as she went over to Julio and checked his temperature by placing her palm against his forehead like she'd done for me.
"Honey, you're burning up," she informed him. "I could bake knish on your forehead!"
"Then why am I freezing?" Julio asked.
"I'll get you a blanket," Red told him. She stroked his dark hair back and then reached down to pick up the backpack he'd set on the floor in front of the chair. "You should have called me or your mom to come pick you up if you were feeling so unwell. Your mom was there at lunchtime anyway to get Benny."
"I had a math test this afternoon," Julio answered sleepily.
"How did that go?" I ask him. Picking up the remote I begin flipping through the channels for something to do. I feel horrible and yet I can't wipe the smile off of my face as Red walks out of the room to get my son a blanket. My heart feels like it wants to burst from my chest. I don't think I could possibly love her more than I do in this moment. It's almost painful just how strong of feelings she is invoking inside my aching body. As wonderful as her attentiveness to me is, watching her nurture and tend to my son nearly brings tears of joy to my eyes. She loves them so much and as natural as it is for her to want to care for all of us, she has no idea how extraordinary she really is. There are so many people who can't do what she does. I know that quite well, since before I fell in love with her I'd only been with people who were mean or avoidant when me or my kids were sick.
"Tomorrow we're supposed to give our presentations in English too," Julio announced a few minutes later when Red walked back into the living room. "I can't miss that." He didn't even bother to appeal to me, I noticed. Curled up under my blankets, only my eyes peering out to watch the show I had settled on, I turned to focus back on them instead. As much as I know she loves us, it warms my heart whenever I get reminders that it is not one sided. Even if it was an adjustment to get used to the two of us together, Julio has been attached to his stepmother from almost the beginning and Benny completely adores her now. It would be impossible for them not to, she's always so good to them.
"How are you supposed to give a presentation when you sound like you're losing your voice?" Red asked, walking back into the living room carrying a blanket she'd fetched from the hall closet and the pillow from Julio's bed.
"A cough syrup cocktail?" he suggested tiredly, as he lifted his head so that Red could tuck the pillow underneath him. Even curled up in a chair, he felt comfortable and Red hadn't even suggested that he go crawl into his own bed if he wasn't feeling good. It didn't matter how old children got, she knew when they were sick they'd rather not be left alone. When her own sons hadn't been feeling well, they'd camped out in the store or whatever room she'd happen to be in at the time and would sleep in her bed at night. It was comforting for them and she preferred it as well since it meant she could monitor how they were doing.
"I'm going to get you to take some medicine for me," Red told him wryly, as she covered him up with the blanket she'd brung him. "But there is no way I'm letting you out of this house tomorrow. I'll call the school. You can catch up once you're feeling better."
"It's midterms next week," Julio reminded her anxiously, lifting his head off of his pillow, "I've got assignments to hand in and review…" Red had pulled out a bottle of cough syrup from the pocket of her sweater and had slipped on her glasses o she could read the back of it to decide how many teaspoons to give him.
"Shhhh," she shushed him. From her pocket, she now took one of three spoons she had gotten from the kitchen and poured the medicine onto it for him. "Swallow this," she told him, as she brought the spoon to his lips. Julio opened his mouth obligingly and made a face as he took the medicine that never tasted good.
"Are you listening to me, Ma?" he moaned, dropping his head back against his pillow. "I can't miss school."
"Darling, your teachers don't want you in class when you're feeling as poorly as you are, and how can you expect to do your best work in this condition?" she asked. "I'll speak to the school and go pick up any review notes from your classes so that you can work from home tomorrow if you feel up to it. Alright?" Julio's eyelids were already feeling heavy. He nodded his head slowly and sighed.
"I'm always amazed at how different my boys are," I told her. I reach a hand out of the blanket and tug on the bottom of her sweater in eagerness as she comes back over to me.
"Benny was really putting on the dramatics in the office when I came to get him," I told her. "I suppose he was just trying to convince the administration he really was sick though since he probably used that excuse on them before. Then, on the way home, he practically asked me if I'd summon a priest since he felt like he was dying."
"Just now he accused me of trying to poison him by having the nerve to purchase grape flavoured medicine instead of cherry," Red replied, rolling her eyes.
"Well, yeah,I see his point," I smirk, my fingers thumbing at her sweater. "Who buys grape over cherry?"
"It's to make you feel better," Red replied. She sits back down beside me and kisses my cheek. I can feel the spot where her lips touched my skin tingle. She still has that effect on me. "It's not supposed to taste good."
"I think those are the first times I've heard you utter those words, love," I groan, watching as she pours out a large dosage clearly intended for me. "And if Lourdes was here, she'd just be appalled I allowed you to bring that stuff into the house. She had her own remedy to cure colds and the flu, the recipe is probably lying around here somewhere."
"Open up," Red said, spooning the grape flavoured medicine into my mouth with barely no warning.
"Yuck," I grimace, sticking my tongue out once I swallow the liquid. "Worse than I thought."
"You need to take one more," Red says unsympathetically, pouring another spoonful.
"You only made Julio take one," I roll my eyes.
"Well, you're older than him," Red replied.
"How rude," I complain. Sighing, I part my lips to accept the second dosage of medicine from her. She sets the medicine and the spoons onto the coffee table and then wraps her arm around me as she snuggles me close again. We both look over at Julio who already seems to be sleeping soundly curled up in his chair. Down the hall, I know Benny is sleeping all snug in mine and Galina's bed. We're all so comfortable. It's the family I'd always hoped I could give me sons.
"I'm going to make you all some chicken soup," Red announces. "Even if you're not hungry, I need you to eat something for me."
"Mmmmm," I shake head willfully. Clenching a fistful of her sweater to keep her close, I giggle as I lean even closer to her. "Don't leave me…"
"You remind me of Vasily," Red teased, kissing the top of my head again. "He never wanted me to leave his side for a minute when he was sick."
"Well, I can't say I blame him," I reply, tilting my head to smile up at her. "I like you with me always. I even miss you during the day when we go to work. I'm always wondering what you're doing."
"Really?" Red smiles back at me. Her thumb strokes against my cheek. "Nobody ever cared what I was doing on a typical day. Dmitri never gave a f*ck."
"I'm not anything like Dmitri," I remind her. "And you're not anything like…" I shake my head to clear the image of Arturo from my mind before I speak his name. He's inconsequential now, a part of a past that has no place right now in my beautiful present. "You're the love of my life," I finish.
"I love you," Red tells me. I beam up at her as she comes closer until her lips meet mine and we share a brief but wonderful kiss that makes every part of my chilled body feel warm. I'm so happy.
"I'm going to give you my cold," I warn her, before being unable to resist kissing her lips again. She's so passionate, so giving, and she's my wife.
"That's okay," she whispers, and kisses me again to prove it. "It would just mean I get to spend even more time at home with you."