This is a major one shot. There is a reference from Romeo and Juliet in here to. Kudos to whoever knows it without looking it up.

Disclaimer: I do not or in any way own Instant Star or any of its attributes.

When I was a kid my dad was the coolest person I knew. I always used to think, "Hey, I'm never going to meet anyone who's like him." He would have these cute, little lunches made for me when I got home from school. I would laugh because he would always call it "brunch". Or the way he always sung me the corniest songs he made up within his own head in record time.

But my favorite would have to be his stories. He told me tons of stories! Usually before bed on a count of Sadie had ballet from 6:00 to 8:00 and all the time before her lessons was spent shopping for a new unitard or fixing her hair to it's culminated curl. It didn't bother me though, because I knew bedtime was my time.

The one that has stuck with me for all these years is, and will always be, "The Old Man and the Sea." It's about an old fisherman who slaves away day and night out in his boat. Every morning when the young dawn with finger tips of rose touched the sky, he would head out onto the water. There he would stay 'til the horizon hit the skyline waiting to catch his perfect fish.

Even with blistered hands and hallucinations causing him to talk to objects unknown, he stuck it out. And I ponder, why can't I be like that? I wish that somewhere inside of me I possessed such strong willpower and esteemed qualities. Maybe if I fought more for what I wanted, I to could catch my fish to. It doesn't have to be big and it doesn't have to be valuable. Just mine.

Maybe if I put a little more effort into making my family related issues personal and try to work them out the best I could then everything would be good. If I cherished the relationships I have instead of misusing them as a simple luxury. I don't know. Maybe I just need to grow up! Sadie always acts so mature. It seems to be an obstacle I have yet to overcome. Exhibit A:

"Are you stupid? Or just blind?" Sadie asked me, as we both stood in the G Major lobby. In clear view to everyone who was witnessing our tiny dispatch I might add. "God! Sadie! You're so queer!" I exclaimed. It was not the best comeback and I probably should have used a more proper word to describe my egotistic big sister. "You never listen to me!" she shot back quickly, her arms flailing around in the air. She really did look queer-ish. Mine were planted firmly on my hips. I was trying my hardest not to deck her.

"Now, that is an understatement! Remember that time you used laundry soap as a dish detergent? I clearly told you it was not a good idea! Completely careless." I muttered the last bit under my breath. "Careless, Jude? How about the time you gave our strange next door neighbor our duplicated house key?" she questioned presumptuously. I shook my head.

This girl is amazing.

"I was Nine!" I yelled, getting up in her face. She wants a challenge, bring it on. There is nothing she has on my ass. "Still. It was predictable. For you." Sadie stated harshly. Her shoulders were bouncing up and down from the level of her breathing. To be blunt, my breathing was pretty rapid to. I hate her sometimes. "Predictable?" I said loudly, drawing even more attention. We already had a full audience why not throw in a few more groupies. "How about I predictably shove my finger in your eye! Then we'll see who's blind!" I screamed then automatically began to lunge for her.

Out of nowhere, a pair of arms magically wrapped securely around my waist from behind. Damn it. "What are you going to do? Use some of your rockstar voodoo and kick me to the ground?" Sadie asked, sarcastically sounding eager. A smile played upon her over glossed lips. She thinks she is safe because I'm being held back. Just wait until we get home… "Oh. Oh! I'll kick your sorry--muftt--" my mouth again, had become magically covered by Tommys hand. I should bite him. He would sure as hell let me go then.

"Come on, Jude.." she teased. It was almost as if my fist was beckoning to me. Hit her. Hit her. Hit her. Slug her. Slug her. Slug her. Do you know how much I desperately wanted to heed it's call? Words can not express. "Shut up!" I yelled from the other side of the lobby. When did we get over here? And my stomach is beginning to hurt from Toms grip. "Let me go." I stated calmly, at this point just freely letting him drag me along. I blew a piece of my newly dyed brown hair out of my face. After it didn't move, I swatted at it.

I am guessing I look awfully queer-ish myself now.

"This is the third time in the last two weeks." he said, setting me down in the chair of Studio A. I crossed my arms over my chest and avoided all eye contact. This was a bit humiliating. I'm 18. I am expected to behave maturely. Like I said earlier, I have not grasped this goal yet. "She's just so- Sadie's- I can't stand her sometimes." I confessed.

"She's your sister." Tommy replied. He leaned against his soundboard. "I mean, you're supposed to feel that way occasionally."

I'm amazed Tommy managed to keep there relationship so stable for the Three months they were together. Sadie drives me nuts when I'm within any perimeter of her 'orb'. Tommy was with her like-all the time.

I involuntarily snorted and laughed a bit. "But I feel like this all the time." I frowned. Sades and me were never tic and tac. We weren't even Laverne and Shirley. And they weren't even sisters! Although I used to think Lenny was cute. Back when I first saw him. Same with Greg Brady. He looked at me with that look I hate. With a passion. "Then maybe you guys need to spend more time together."

Now I am getting lessons from "Tommy the Sister Guru". I suppose I couldn't get any more pathetic. "Why did you go with Sadie to Europe Three years ago?" I asked. It 's a question that has been bugging me from the moment they came back from there trip. I never understood why he had decided to leave me and go with her. How fun is Europe anyway? My stinky 'ol tour bus was way better, no doubt. "Honestly Jude.. I couldn't stand to be around you any longer." Tommy said sincerely. Nice. Apparently I can get more pathetic. I tucked some hair behind my ear and breathed in deep. What to say… What to say… My eyes were locked with his. "Why?" I asked, almost breathlessly. The room had become very cramped since we first entered. I'm not sure if it's just me or the lack of oxygen was getting smaller as well. "I had feelings I shouldn't have been feeling." he shrugged. Oh no! This discussion doesn't mean a thing to me!

I rolled my eyes. "I know." I said and stood. A look of confusion mixed with surprise passed over his face. "You were just to damn stubborn to do anything about it." This time, I shrugged.

No big deal, right?

Thanks for reading! )