Author Note: ((Kicks website for making him remove "Simple," and "of," from the title due to space constraints))

Ah, well, here you have it, my next work that's distracting me from finishing other projects I've already started. Yay for being completely at the mercy of my own whims… or something like that. However, it is very unlikely that I will start anything new before writing another chapter of this, or the second and final chapter of Speak from the Diaphragm, so there's no need for concern that I'm dropping either of those ideas. I'm going on vacation again in about a week, so I might be a while, but that's nothing anyone who follows my Fanfiction career won't be used to by now, I'm sure.

Anyway, I could resist the urge to leap right into this one when I had the idea, so here's the beginning. I actually think that this is my least potentially offensive work to date, largely because it's set right after the defeat of Nergal, and all of the pairings I'm featuring will be fairly new as couples, if they ever are officially considered such (quite a few A supports that result in an ending where the characters get married don't exactly include blatant declarations of love, after all). Actually, there's only one thing in particular I could think of that might be offensive, and that's a religious-oriented thing. I have the utmost respect for various religions, provided that I'm dealing with someone who doesn't try to force their religion or ideals on others or restrict other people based on their own ideology (All you "Thou shalt not lie with a man as one lies with a woman," citers…), with the possible exception of Scientology, which may fall more into the category of a scam than a religion, if you ask me. Anyway, it's not my intent to offend anyone, just being funny (?) here, but you probably all know that by now.

And on that subject, I have to speak briefly about this fic in particular. Frankly…well, I'm not entirely convinced it's as funny as my other works, which may mean that some of you will find it totally unappealing. It could be a general lack of any jokes that I was really in love with when I was thinking of the concept, or that I metaphorically pounced on the concept without giving it time to sink in, or it could just be that this is me writing more trans-genre for once, maintaining a serious or semi-serious focus for a longer period of time and not totally killing that mood until I switch scenes. That's actually arguable, but I will say that Hector and Florina are going to be more serious throughout the fic than is my usual practice. Of course, other couples' antics will probably balance and/or totally distort the mood.

At any rate, I happen to like the humor in the first bit, if it might thereafter not be of its usual quality. As always, I'm appreciative of any comments you might have, compliments or criticisms, though I prefer hearing more than "it's good," if you have something positive to say, and I'd like to not be beaten within an inch of my life if you have something negative to say.

That being said, I'm going to go through some of the pairings featured in this fic, since they wouldn't fit in the summary. In this chapter, we have HectorxFlorina, NinoxJaffar, though Jaffar doesn't make an appearance, a bit of KentxLyn, though it's really just Kent asking Sain for romantic advice, and all of two or three sentences of EliwoodxNinian, though that will definitely come in later. All of the above pairings will carry throughout the fic, with different ones getting the spotlight depending on the 'rule,' for that particular chapter, since not all of the pairings are going to have moments that easily relate to all of the different rules. Pairings that will probably make appearances are WilxRebecca, even though they're technically the same class, and quite possibly a bit of ErkxSerra, though that I'm really not sure about. Expect… something LIKE RavenxLucius, I'm not really into shonen ai, but they seem blatantly obvious to me, and I guarantee it won't be much of anything if that's a serious turn-off for you (sorry in advance to those who'd want to see more of that).

Anyway, so that's about it. So, enjoy, and review if you have the time. Ah… this takes me back to the days when it didn't seem like every entry I made to this account had to be more than 10,000 words… And on that note, I should probably work on Speak from the Diaphragm so I can actually finish something that isn't a one-shot (even if it happens to be a two-shot…).

10 Simple Rules for Dating Outside of Your Character Class

Rule 1: On the Importance of Atmosphere

One of the first things you should know when it comes to dating is that atmosphere is very important, the right atmosphere can make up for other shortcomings, while the wrong one can ruin positive traits. In fact, if you yourself have no sense for setting the proper mood, it's recommended that you seek the advice of someone who does. However, here we will endeavor to give you a basic idea of the sorts of things that are both good and bad when it comes to atmosphere.

An ever-popular and timeless setting for a date is a candlelit dinner. It's a highly romantic setting, fitting for most stages in a relationship, and what's more, it comes with food. What's not to like? Well, the bill, maybe, but money is a necessary sacrifice.

A battlefield, conversely, is rather less romantic, not to mention being notoriously bad places to carry on long conversations. However, battles can, in certain instances, help in the progression of a relationship, and those who fight together frequently form a special kind of bond. Nevertheless, seeking to build a relationship during combat can be tricky, and easily backfire, as we will now demonstrate.

The following takes place during one of the many battles faced by Eliwood's group throughout his story in Rekka no Ken, presented in script format for convenience, with italicized lines spoken off-screen. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Japhar: Nyno, about earlier…

Nyno: What?

Japhar: I am sorry, but… I will not be able to keep our promise…

Nyno: But… What do you mean?

Enimy Grent: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Japhar: I said that I would always be your friend… and that I would always be by your side… but something has changed.

Nyno: No! How could you? You promised! You said…!

Sian: A little help over here!

Japhar: … Relax.

Nyno: What, am I just a bother to you? You just want to be rid of me! Then why did you save me in the first place! Why were you so nice to me? How could you let me trust you… And then…

Enimy Grent 2: Oh Gods the pain!

Nyno: Betray me…?

Japhar: Nyno, listen to what…

Nyno: Japhar, I hate you! How could you?

Japhar: Nyno! Stop!

Enimy Grent 3: My leg! I think it's broken!

Nyno: Let me go! Don't touch me!

Japhar: I love you.

Nyno!

Japhar: I…

Gyu: I'll kill you!

Japhar: Love you…

Nyno: Japhar…

Japhar: That is why I can't just be your friend.

Ekr: Take this!

Japhar: That is what I wanted to say…

Nyno: … Really…?

Luckius: No!

Japhar: Do I look like the joking type?

Nyno: …No. But… it's just so hard to…

Japhar: … love me?

Matty: ((randomly popping in)) Look him in the eye without running, screaming for your mother?

Nyno: No! That's not what I meant. I mean, I… Japhar, I … I love you… too.

Japhar: Nyno… When this battle has ended, we should live together… I will protect you… with my life.

Will: That's it… I'm… I'm finished…

Nyno: Yes… Let's always be together… Japhar… Don't ever leave me… Ever. You have to promise.

Japhar: On my honor… On my heart.

Ranev: Prescera! Get away from her!

Nyno: Would you ALL JUST SHUT UP! FIMBULVINTER!

At which point our camera equipment was frozen, smashed into pieces, and then buried in snow. Snow, it should be mentioned, makes for a rather romantic scene, as well.

Japhar also brings up a good example of how battles can be beneficial. They're a very appropriate time to dedicate yourself to protecting that oh-so special someone, but more on taking oaths later.

Clearly, battles are not the right place for everyone to attempt romance. However, if handled correctly, they can be an important addition to your list of love locales, if you'll forgive the alliteration.

Next, we'd like to take a brief segment to examine moonlit walks. Moonlit walks are also very popular, and quite romantic, places to have a quiet chat with the person you love, or just enjoy each other's company. However, there are several rules that must be adhered to when choosing your moonlit walk. First, you must be sure to choose a clear night, with a large (preferably full) moon, which provides enough light to see without needing another light source, as this can damage the mood.

Second, where you take your walk is important. The best locales are places with beautiful scenery that doesn't require bright light to enjoy, cliffs overlooking the sea or beaches are good, and forests, if they aren't too dark, can be as well. However, you should probably examine the forest thoroughly first, to ensure that there are no bandits or giant monsters present. An example of such a situation where this absolutely necessary precaution was ignored was captured on film by our brave, and only somewhat wounded for their trouble, camera crew.

The following conversation takes place shortly after a battle experienced by Eliwood's group, in the middle of a moonlit forest. Once again, names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Eliwin: Ninny, I love you. That will not change, no matter what may come.

Ninny: Lord Eliwin…

Badnit Laeder: Up an' at em, boys!

Badnits: RAAAH!

Our brave and at that point significantly less injured camera crew then elected to abandon their equipment in the face of several rather large, armed men, and were injured in the ensuing battle as they attempted to nobly defend themselves with all handy objects, which I'm told included a green, stripped sweater, a handkerchief, several bendy straws, as well as some breadsticks they had brought with for snacks, which I'm also told were the most effective weapons of the bunch.

However, while moonlit nights are great nights for romantic activity, your actual location can, again, greatly determine their effectiveness. In the middle of a city, for instance, with many bright lights, whatever era you happen to hail from, the artificial light tends to blot out the overhead sky, or at least significantly dim it, which ruins the effect. Likewise, if you're trapped in a dungeon somewhere, and have moonlight entering via some form of skylight, if the room is particularly messy or ruinous, or if you happen to be a prisoner, that will also be detrimental to the mood. As for moonlit walks where one of the parties involved is bound, gagged, and stuffed into a sack, which then end with both parties falling some 70 feet down into a narrow ravine with no really evident way back up… well, the jury's out.

When Hector, brother of Marquess Ostia and companion of Eliwood, so to be Marquess Pherae, came to, the first thing he noticed was that he was not at all in one of those places you really want to wake up. Of course, his own bedchamber in Castle Ostia was probably the most comfortable of places where he commonly awoke, but hanging around the castle was dull and tended to be filled with needless formality, in exactly the manner that wandering the countryside looking for trouble wasn't, making Hector at least as happy to wake on a bedroll in a tent somewhere, or even just lying in the middle of a field.

Somewhere between the cold stone he felt pressing against his cheek, the pounding in his head, and the fact that his entire torso felt badly bruised, he guessed he wasn't lying in the middle of a field, or in a tent, for that matter. Waking up on a slab of stone with no remembrance of how you got there was nearly always a bad thing.

All of these things Hector was vaguely aware of when he came to his senses. As the large, blue-haired man looked up, he saw a long crack of dark, star-filled sky high above, and barely discerned the walls of the giant ravine he was at the bottom of.

He didn't know how Matthew was responsible for this, but he was going to kill him.

Looking back down at himself, he saw, atop the armor he nearly always wore, the tangle of worn wooden planks and braided rope that had once been part of a small bridge laying across his legs, and suddenly recalled how he had come to be here. For the reader's benefit, the aforementioned rush of information will be presented in a chronological and coherent manner. We here at Flashback Enterprises thusly take great pride in presenting, "The Previous Day in the Life of Hector, Brother of Marquess Ostia and Companion of Eliwood, soon to be Marquess of Pherae, presented here for the sake of understanding what exactly he is doing, unconscious until just recently, at the bottom of a ravine." It was going to be the first DS installment of the series, but even in Japanese it just didn't fit on the card.

Hector, brother of… yeah, you probably know by now, sighed in frustration. This large, imposing man, who could dispatch dozens of lesser foes alone, this future leader of Ostia, this man who had wielded the legendary axe Armads, felt totally and utterly defeated, mere days after achieving what was likely to be the greatest victory, in terms of combat, of his life. Sitting on a log some distance away from the commotion in the center of the camp as other members of the group struggled to put everything together, he stared off into the sun, already nearing the western horizon.

"Something troubling you, milord?" came an all-too familiar voice from behind him.

"Matthew," he addressed its owner, "I'm really not in the mood right now…"

"And, much as it is my policy to be out of striking distance when you're in a bad mood, this one has been going on for entirely too long. So, out of the goodness of my heart, I'm here to help." The blond thief walked into the lord's field of vision, more or less forcing the eye contact that Hector had been hoping to avoid, but had no will to deliberately shy away from.

"Gods be praised," he answered sarcastically, clasping his hands together in mock prayer.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you, or not?" the other man demanded impatiently.

"All right, all right," Hector consented. He sighed, took a breath to compose himself, and began. "It's just… well, we're finished, right? We beat Nergal and the Black Fang, closed the Dragon's Gate, we made it off of Valor in one piece, and now we're just heading back to Ostia, and then Eliwood will go on to Pherae and Lyndis will go back to Caelin, and all the others will go wherever it is that they want, so… what then?"

"Everything goes back to normal, I suppose," Matthew replied with a shrug.

"But that's just it!" he protested. "After everything we went through together as a group, it doesn't… seem right to just part ways like this…"

The rogue gazed at his lord with his keen eyes for a moment, as if they could determine that the man before him was, in fact, an imposter. He wasn't used to seeing his lord so emotional… well, actually he very frequently had a chance to see the man angry, quite often followed by a temporary loss of consciousness, but he wasn't used to seeing him so sentimental.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain purple-haired Pegasus Knight, would it?" the man finally asked. Hector stared in shock for a moment, a denial at his lips, but no sound emerged from his mouth. Matthew laughed, "Information is my business, you know. So, you don't want her to go back to Caelin?"

Hector nodded. "I keep trying to talk to her, but she always ends up leaving before I actually say anything…"

"You're sure that's not related to the fact that you're trying to talk to one of our more valued warriors in the middle of combat?" Matthew asked dryly.

"It's the same thing regardless of where we happen to be," he said, without denying the accusation.

"Maybe you could work on being less… frightening?" Matthew suggested.

"And undo seventeen years of hard work?" he asked.

"You must unlearn what you have learned," the thief told him, nodding his head.

"I don't have time for your proverbs, Matthew, it's a three-day march back to Ostia, four if we take it easy."

"Well, then you can get her into a position where she can't back out until you've had a chance to talk," he recommended, with the air of a sage passing on a vital secret.

"That's it!" he exclaimed, springing to his feet. "I'll kidnap her! There must be some place romantic around here… Matthew, if anyone wants me tell them that I'm scouting around and they can talk to me tomorrow unless it's vitally important," Hector instructed the spy as he walked past him.

"Milord, that's not exactly what I had in mind…" Matthew valiantly tried to repair the damage. However, Hector, being Hector, was already too far gone, both in planning and in physical distance, for the words to reach him.

He then sighed, watching the man head for the woods next to their camp, perhaps not the wisest place they could have set themselves up, but certainly convenient for firewood. He didn't count the ability to see the future among his, admittedly long, list of positive qualities, but he had the distinct feeling that however this ended, he was going to be injured before all was said and done.

And, as it turned out, Hector had gone on to find a nice little clearing around a beautiful, picturesque lake in the midst of the woods that would be a perfect place to kidnap someone to, or have a nice, romantic moment with someone in, or in his case, do both of the above. The journey was relatively easy, nothing that would present a problem if he was carrying someone at the time, and basically just involved a simple trek through the woods, though there was one rickety old bridge he had had to cross, leading over a ravine little more than 10 feet wide. He had crossed cautiously that first time, but it had held him fine, albeit with a substantial bit of creaking, and he figured anything that could support him without being pushed right to its limit wouldn't find the added weight of Florina much of a challenge.

When he recalled that particular moment in the events leading up to his present situation, Hector remarked at the irony of that thought. Well, it would have held the both of them, had everything gone according to plan. And though he then thought on where his plan had gone awry, for our purposes this moment lies some time in the future, yet.

A few hours later, once the camp had been sufficiently set up and rations prepared, Eliwood had called the group together, saying he wished to make an announcement. Standing on a stump, facing the assembled group, whose numbers had exceeded 30 some time ago, though many of those had clearly been in with them as a temporary occupation only, and planned to depart the group shortly.

"Well, everyone," the red-haired, slender man began, the bandage across his chest where he had received a nasty burn wound from the dragon they had fought still visible through a tear in his shirt that he hadn't yet had the chance to mend. "We've got the camp set up, and food as well, I think that, seeing as we just accomplished our task and are finally headed back home, we can relax our guard tonight. Why doesn't everyone take the night off from their usual duties and-," his suggestion was drowned out by a nearly simultaneous cheer from the less somber members of the group. Laughing at their enthusiasm, the young man scanned the crowd with his blue eyes, then leapt down from the stump and tried to make his way around it as quickly as possible. There was someone in particular he wanted to see, and right then she was somewhere else.

The night off had actually been Hector's suggestion, but Eliwood had agreed wholeheartedly that, if anything in this area was more dangerous than a nearly immortal Dark Druid and an enraged Fire Dragon, aided by a group of morphs copying the strongest warriors of the Black Fang, then there was relatively little that they were going to be able to do about it in their condition anyway, and the whole of the continent was probably doomed. Bearing the thought of their struggles in mind, it didn't particularly matter whether or not they set up a watch, especially considering that the group of assassins that had been repeatedly trying to kill them were now pretty much gone. After all, how likely was it to come across someone who would attack what amounted to a small army, having eliminated the only threat that had faced them for some time?

I'm sure it will surprise you all to learn that a group of bandits did NOT at that very moment spring from the woods and attack.

And so, Hector had gone about his plan. He later noted that, for all that Florina could smite just about anything thrown at her with one or two blows, she really wasn't as aware of her surroundings as she probably should be. Sneaking up on her had been rather easy, he had waited, ducked behind the makeshift stable where the horses, and Pegasi, were kept when she entered, and when she came back out clamped a hand, which held a cloth pilfered from Matthew for just this purpose, over her mouth. In a moment the tiny, purple-haired girl collapsed, him catching her with his other hand before she could hit the ground. Fortunately, or perhaps, unfortunately, considering his present situation, no one had been around the stable to see him, quite possibly a deliberate action on Florina's part, when he considered it later.

So, he had tied her up, only just tightly enough to stop her from breaking loose at an inopportune time, knowing that her delicate form hid a strength that would make most grown men jealous… if it hadn't already driven a lance through one of any number of vital organs. He had stopped for a minute in the middle of this process, becoming lost in the act of watching her sleep for a moment. He gave himself a shake, mentally and physically, telling himself to get back on task, fighting back a sudden desire to just sit there and watch over her while she slept.

So, gently placing her in a sack, which he had padded with a few of the company's extra pillows, he set out with the now officially kidnapped girl slung over his shoulder. For a moment he paused to consider exactly how ridiculous his own actions were, but, Hector thought, damned if he was going to stop doing ridiculous things after 17 years of it. Hector was very much a creature of habit.

Everything had been going smoothly, no one halted him exiting the camp; Hector was pretty well known for carrying around more axes than was probably needed or wise. Lyn did look at him sort of funny as he passed her, but if she suspected something, she didn't say or do anything. So, Hector, only slightly unnerved, went on.

He made his way through the forest quickly. Though he had gagged Florina as a precaution, he was hoping to make it to, or close to, his destination before she woke up. This, as luck would have it, happened just as he came to what was easily the roughest part of the journey, crossing the rope bridge. As he began to cross it he felt sudden movement in the sack, the girl within apparently trying to flail around rather effectively, though it unbalanced Hector than actually injured him. Still, the sudden motion caused him to stumble a bit, which set the bridge swaying, and, as if that weren't enough, at that moment, a white streak, familiar to Hector the many times he had anxiously watched it charge a foe, or narrowly avoid an arrow, came into his view.

Huey was a relatively simple Pegasus, not surprisingly. He knew how to fight, how to understand what his rider wanted him to do, even if he didn't understand all of her words themselves, and of course, he knew the things that all Pegasi know, how to fly, certain aerial maneuvers that come naturally, and others that most learn through training, wild Pegasi being rare indeed with Ilia's economy so dependent on mercenaries. He also loved his rider dearly, and if she was in trouble, and for some reason not already riding him, he was to try and rectify the situation.

Unfortunately he lacked the perception needed to understand concepts like being too shy to talk to someone, or feeling the need to 'force,' someone to let you speak your mind without interruption. His eyesight, however, as well as his link with his rider, which really did move a bit into the realm of a psychic connection at times, were both excellent, so though he had no idea of the reason, his knowledge that someone had his rider bound, gagged, stuffed in a sack, and slung over his shoulder, was clear in his mind. That it was that guy with the blue hair only made sense, he had threatened Huey with an axe before, and Florina seemed really afraid of him.

And so Huey pounced, in the Pegasus fashion, that is, flying in at the target with flailing forelegs, on the man from the front, careful to avoid the sack that contained his beloved rider, and stuck numerous blows across Hector's upper body. Fortunately for the noble, the blows mostly rained down upon his armor, which was capable of enduring them with little bruising to his chest itself. Unfortunately for him, Huey also wasn't used to such insubstantial, swaying bridges, and, as he adopted almost the position of an ordinary, earthbound horse fighting with its hooves, the swinging bridge managed to tangle his hindquarters and hind legs in its side.

Huey kept flailing away, now more because he was stuck in that position, unless Hector backed up quite a bit, than because he was still intent on harming the man. This struggling served only to tangle the bridge around himself further, and cause its swaying to worsen. What's more, the added weight of the horse, which, in truth, came from a species that would be too heavy to be able to fly if not for their magical nature, seemed to be pushing the bridge to its limit, and perhaps beyond. Though Huey remained ignorant of these facts, Hector wasn't.

"Stop it, you bird-brained horse! You're going to-," Hector's warning was cut off as the very thing he had been about to foretell happened. The bridge, pushed beyond its carrying capacity, stretched beyond where its limit should have been by the detour it took around Huey's rear half, and pounded on by Pegasus hooves, gave way. For good or ill, the rope had weakened such that an entire section of the bridge simply dropped out at once, rather than snapping in two and likely dashing its occupants against the rocks.

Needless to say, there was now quite a bit of air beneath Hector and Huey, and Florina as well, though she wasn't aware of it and hadn't actually been in contact with the ground. A common misconception about air is that it won't hold a person up. The air, as an aerologist will tell you, is always more than happy to hold a person up. If only they weren't so darn heavy, that is. And so, though that great volume of air that filled the ravine below them did indeed try its very best to hold Hector and Huey aloft, if found that once again, gravity had conspired against its efforts, and the two fell like… well, like a winged horse and a very large, heavy man wearing armor who suddenly found themselves conspicuously bridgeless.

Ordinarily, this sort of situation presented no problem for the Pegasus. He'd just start kicking at the air, flap his wings a few times, and be flying again. However, that strategy failed when he discovered that his legs had effectively been tied together, and his right wing pinned down. All of which was made substantially worse by the fact that Huey had just entered as much of a dive as he could manage in order to bring himself below the armored man who still held his rider.

Hector reached out and tried to grab at Huey as the Pegasus passed beneath him. After several failed attempts, he finally got something of a grip on the beast's neck and pulled himself closer to it, hoping that, if its tangled limbs prevented flight, it could at least land without killing all of them. It was at about that moment when Huey unfurled his left wing, which had escaped the tangled web of rope, and sent them into a downward spiral, which, while better than a straight plummet in terms of not hitting the bottom at a velocity that would kill them, did not do wonders for Hector's already tenuous grip.

The lord felt his grip beginning to go. Murmuring a prayer to the gods that she'd be okay, Hector released his grip on the sack that held Florina, just as his fingers lost their hold on the horse's neck. Hector felt himself flying forward, then crashing into something, then had blacked out.

Which brings us back to the present, with Hector, some time later, though how much he had no idea, suddenly realizing why he was at the bottom of the ravine. He felt something brush against him, and turned his head to see Huey, several feet away. The poor creature was on his side, left wing splayed out about as far as it could go, vainly trying to push its owner back upright, or else just twitching in pain. Red blood spotted its otherwise white coat, and, though Hector knew relatively little of Pegasi, the valiant beast looked to be in terrible shape.

But where was Florina? His eyes darted around, searching for the sack that she had been in, his ears straining for the sound of muffled cries or her struggles against her confines. What had happened after he had let go? Where was she? If she was hurt, he-

Suddenly, he spotted the sack, lying a few more feet from Huey, on the side opposite the noble. Untangling his legs from the mass of bridge that Huey had brought down with him, Hector leapt to his feet, taking a few shaky steps to balance himself, then dashed over to the abandoned sack. With no patience for untying and opening the thing, he tore a knife from his belt and ripped into the side of it, desperate in his need to know that the Pegasus Knight was unharmed. He ripped the bag off of her, revealing her still unconscious body, bruised all over, her clothes torn a bit, but seemingly unharmed. The faint rise and fall of her chest indicated that she was still breathing.

Hector sighed in relief. It looked like Huey had taken the brunt of the fall and spared them most of it. He vaguely recalled that they had been close to the ground when he simultaneously let go of Florina and lost his own grip. Under any other circumstances, Huey probably would have given an indignant snort at the man's relief, but the horse now merely took deep, laborious breaths, though he was, at some level, aware and happy that his dear friend was alive and, seemingly, if not well, then better off than he himself was.

The armored man cut the girl's bonds, undid the gag in her mouth, and then stood back up. It was all well and fine that none of them were dead, but what now? If he had to take a guess, it would be that Huey wasn't flying anywhere until they got to someone with a Heal staff, and he didn't have a clue where to even begin trying to give the Pegasus first aid. What was more, how were they going to get out of that ravine? Certainly when they didn't turn up, everyone would start looking for them… well, tomorrow, at any rate. Lyn, he supposed, might start looking when they didn't come back that night, but he wasn't entirely certain he'd want her to be the one who found them, in that case.

Even so, though, the ravine was fairly narrow, and no one knew where they had been going. The forest was a big place, and given that the canopy overhead, though it would allow light in, didn't particular lend itself to being seen through, he doubted that an aerial search would come far into the forest. And either way, they were pretty far down, they'd need some sort of method to attract attention to themselves… A fire would be best, the smoke could even tell everyone where they were, but how to build a fire…

"L-l-lord Hector?" a soft voice that he knew well, despite not hearing it speak frequently, said groggily. He looked back down to see Florina slowly pushing herself upright, eyes still barely focused. Suddenly they went wide; "Huey!" she exclaimed, and was on her feet and at the Pegasus' side in an instant, dropping to her knees to examine the battered horse with an expression of terror on her face and tears in her eyes.

"Oh… Huey…" she said softly, and he whinnied softly in response. She carefully checked over his legs and wings, never moving them more than was absolutely necessary for fear of causing them more harm. "Th… three of his legs are broken," she said for Hector's benefit, trying to keep her voice steady despite the tears rolling down her face. "His wing is sprained, and he's… bleeding internally on the other side… We… we need some sort of magic healing, quickly, or… I don't know if he'll make it…" the last bit came out as barely a whisper.

Hector nodded, rooted where he stood. He wanted to console her somehow, but… what could he possibly say? 'I'm sorry your horse is hurt, oh, and by the way, this is all my fault to begin with'? Abruptly, he turned from her and began walking down the ravine in the opposite direction.

"L-lord Hector?" she turned blue-green, tear-filled eyes in his direction.

"Do what you can for him," he spoke without turning to look at her. "I'll… I'll find us a way out of here." And before she could reply, he was running further down the ravine, and was soon lost from sight in the dim light that came from above.

Erk was known, first and foremost, as a mage, a practitioner of anima magic, the elemental magic that drew upon the spirits that inhabit the world. He was a man who lived for his studies, always seeking to further understand the world and magic itself. For, in the end, with adequate knowledge and a bit of preparation, any problem could be conquered. Or so he had always thought. Lately he wasn't so sure. But of course, most of his present, unfathomable problems seemed to be related to a lack of knowledge more than knowledge failing to provide him with a solution.

For instance, there was the question as to why, he, Erk, student of Lord Pent, one of the greatest sages of the time, he himself only beginning to walk that path followed by the most skilled of anima magic users, and all around widely considered a force to be reckoned with, was standing here, in this tent, dressed in a black suit, a bow tie, had recently combed his hair, and most of all, why all of this was complimented by the platter he carried on his arm.

"Why, exactly, am I doing this, again?" he voiced his question, seeking some external answer now that his internal powers of reasoning had so utterly failed him.

"Because it's impossible to say 'no,' to Nino when she makes that sad puppy face?" suggested the man who stood next to him, similarly attired. Few who did not know him well would recognize the Sacean Swordmaster, Guy, as he appeared now. His usual hair braid was undone, and his long, dark hair had been neatly combed, much akin to Erk's. He likewise carried a platter, though he handled it with a bit more confidence than the mage, probably stemming from the fact that, if he dropped the large plate, he could cut it up three different ways before it hit the ground, and that was counting the time it would take him to fetch his sword, let alone catching the thing.

"Are you two ready yet?" came a voice from outside, and into the tent emerged a rather bulky, muscular man, though he was a lot less bulky without the armor he usually wore. Guy couldn't help but snicker at the sight of Oswin in a suit and bow tie, which earned him a glare from the knight, though he didn't say anything.

This ability to ignore the Sacean probably came from calling upon the discipline he had learned through years of fulfilling his knightly duty. With compatriots like Serra and Matthew, it took quite a bit of discipline to so consistently remain stern and stone-faced, a metaphor which he himself disliked after one memorable instance when he had been drugged by Matthew, who had then filled the man's armor with rocks shaped in such a way to support it standing upright. It wasn't so much the action itself that had bothered the knight as the fact that no one had noticed. All of this was made somewhat worse by the fact that Matthew had miscalculated mixing the drug, causing it to put him into a coma-like state for three days, instead of the intended 8 hours.

This event is also notable as the single instance when Oswin more or less lost control of himself, enough to utter the phrase, "I'm going to kill Matthew," which my more loyal readers will already know is quite popular among the group at large.

"Where did Nino get all of this stuff, anyway?" Erk felt compelled to ask.

"Now that I don't know," Guy admitted to the mage, stepping over to where the knight waited impatiently, an emotion he tended to display only when it was related to his duty. Suffice it to say, he and Kent, fellow duty-obsessed knight that he was, had had some very interesting… conversations, a more liberal user of the word might call them.

When three of his employees had shown up late, clad in undershirts and boxers, the owner of Le Restaurante in the nearby town of Oh-ho-ho-ville (pronounced with a bad French accent if you aren't completely ignorant), he had immediately demanded an explanation. He had refused to believe their tale of a young girl suddenly appearing before them, magically removing their uniforms and serving platters, and then disappearing as rapidly as she had come, despite the credibility that their present attire lent the statement. Of course, he might have been more willing to believe them if this hadn't been the third time they'd tried that excuse. How many magic-wielding little girls did they think there were, anyway? Fire Emblem veterans will, at this point, scoff loudly, if it pleases them to do so.

"Smells good, who's doing the cooking?" Guy asked as the group, having left behind their changing tent, now approached the tent that Nino had commissioned from Raven and Sain by means of an Excalibur spell and… generally looking cute, respectively. Neither of the companions indulged his curiosity, and after giving each an affronted glance, he let it drop.

The group pressed aside the flap, smells of various exotic spices procured by Nino in manners that would have made Matthew extremely jealous wafting over them. The group saw Lucius, wearing white apron with a blue cross in the center over his usual robes, as well as what can only be described as the single largest hairnet in any world not inhabited by people several times the size of normal humans. The man stirred the contents of a pot, hanging over the fire, with a wooden spoon, then twisted around and began applying a knife to several freshly acquired vegetables with all the precise skill one for some reason expects he would have.

"Somehow this makes perfect sense…" Guy remarked, though he wasn't entirely sure why, given the disposition towards silence that his fellows so frequently displayed.

Nino had initially asked if he had any interest in taking part in the cooking, by which I mean that she had turned on him with a spell prepared and demanded if he had any useful cooking skills. He was quickly proven wrong in his assumption that masterful swordsmanship could carry over into other forms of cutting skills when he accidentally pureed several of the vegetables he had been given to work on in mid-air. This was carried out with all of the effect one expects from vegetables going through a blender that had nothing resembling a containment device on it, and he was currently hoping that Heath had a particular fondness for the color orange, as it was unlikely to come out of his tent without extensive washing.

When Guy had mentioned this incident to him in an attempt to engage the mage in conversation, Erk had commented that Nino could probably run the entire army if she wanted to, an opinion echoed by many.

Lucius at last took note of the three other's presence, and turned to face them. "The blessings of St. Elmine be upon you, my brothers," the monk said, clasping his hands together.

"I think I should tell you that I'm an atheist…" Guy informed the blond… um… man… yes, that's right.

"Wait, St. Elmine isn't a god. He's a Saint," Erk said, willing to break his silence in order to correct the swordsman, as Lucius drew back with a mortified expression on his face. "And besides which, you regularly work with people who use divine power, how can you possibly deny that there's some force that makes those work?"

"I just don't find the concept of a higher being who controls the destiny of the universe very likely. I mean, what sort of benevolent, omnipotent entity would allow, say, Nergal?" Guy turned to the mage as he spoke.

"But the fact that Nergal didn't succeed in his evil plans can, in that argument, be taken as proof that said entity could very well exist and allows evil to exist for the sake of opposing good, while never allowing it to completely triumph," the mage responded.

"Okay, then what about genocide? Why is that allowed to take place while this upper being refuses to interfere?"

"Well, from the perspective of an all-powerful being who created humans and thus understands them, if we never faced problems, we would never learn or grow as individuals, or as a race. Witnessing horrible things only reaffirms in the mind how terrible they are and creates a greater desire to put an end to them than if there were just a possibility of them occurring in the future."

"Ah, but if this thing created humans, then why not make them with that understanding to begin with? Humans are supposed to be in the image of this entity, but are flawed by nature while it is supposedly perfect, so doesn't that make the whole of existence a giant 'what if?' scenario to indulge that being's fantasies, if you will."

"No one said he couldn't be benevolent, perfect, and also decide to create all of existence out of boredom."

"What is existence, anyway?" Oswin interjected. "Is a person's mind just the result of a series of firing neurons in the brain, or do they actually possess a soul, if you will, a part of being that isn't tied to the physical body and can survive death?"

"But if its perfect wouldn't it be perfectly capable of amusing itself?" Guy completely ignored the knight.

"Sure, hence existence," Erk replied.

"Isn't that a little detached for a benevolent God? I mean, to create everything just because It was tired of nothingness?"

"Well, to continue this line of debate further, you'd have to define existence," Erk said, getting at more or less the same point Oswin had made while still paying the man no heed.

"Your point is lucid," Guy conceded.

"Your arguments, as well, are well aimed," Erk commented.

"However, by your reasoning we still exist mostly for the sake of seeing what would happen if we exist, that's a very belittling world view," Guy said.

"Hey, I agree with you." When Guy stared at him for a moment, Erk explained with a shrug, "I just enjoy a good argument."

"I am surrounded by infidels!" Lucius cried, and made for the opposite side of the tent, only to have his progress arrested by Nino.

"Ah, yes, the real reason light magic can never defeat anima magic, anima magic users can debate circles around it," Guy remarked.

"Never let it be said that I do not love what I do," the purple-haired mage added.

"Is the food ready?" Nino demanded of Lucius, who was trying, rather ineffectively, to edge around her.

"I did not know I was working for unbelievers…" Lucius muttered, then, at a glare from Nino, answered, "Yes, it is."

"Good," the mage, a green haired, slender girl of fourteen years who could have passed for being younger easily, nodded.

"Nino, I think I should council you that you aren't old enough for any serious romantic activity, and advise you to not do anything that you may later-," the monk began with the air of a priest lecturing a student, which was practically the case, before Nino cut him off.

"Yes, yes, religious zealot-talk. I've heard this before, so you can go."

"But I think I should tell you that it's considered a sin to en-,"

"Go!" she shouted, jabbing a finger at the door behind her that the monk turned chef had been only too willing to exit through a moment before.

"Man, I wish he was the kind of monk who took vows of silence…" Guy commented, and the others nodded in agreement.

Grumbling, the aforementioned monk made his way out the back of the tent, tearing off the only hairnet on the planet that could contain his waist-length hair. There he found two other robed men, one wearing a sort of shawl ending in braided string and a skull cap atop a head of graying hair, the other wearing more of a pointed cap that concealed his hair.

"Yeah, didn't go so hot for us, either," the one in the pointed cap said.

"Oy vey," the other said, shaking his head. "Kids these days."

"I'd just like to thank all of you for your help," Nino now addressed the three waiter-clad warriors.

"Like we had a choice…" muttered Erk.

"Yes, and, on that note, I feel compelled to tell you that this is something I've been wanting to put together for a very long time now, so if anything goes wrong, you had all better learn to sleep with your eyes open," the green-haired girl said cheerfully. "So get everything ready, I'm going to go change and then find Jaffar." And, leaving them with that sobering threat in their minds, Nino turned and left the tent, a slight spring in her step.

"I… didn't know Nino was quite that scary. Did you know Nino was that scary?" Guy questioned Erk.

"Somehow I always figured she might be…" the suited mage answered.

"Ah, love," Oswin said wistfully, only to once again be ignored by both of his companions. And people wondered why he didn't talk much.

"Hey, Kent, what did you want?" Sain asked his friend, a rather stern faced, orange haired man. "I've got big plans for tonight, so could you-,"

"Sain, I need your help," the other man admitted, all in one breath, as if he had to say it quickly, or else his common sense would reassert itself.

"Ah, Kent, how long I've waited for this day!" the brown haired, green armored knight exclaimed. "Step into my office," he gestured to the tent outside which they stood.

"Sain, that's my tent…" Kent informed him.

"Yes, well, do you want me to help you with Lady Lyndis or not?" he demanded.

"Fine, fine… Why do I have the feeling that I'm going to regret this?" the other said.

"Oh, that feeling. Don't worry, it's probably just a warning of things to come."

"Well that was a confidence builder, there…" Kent remarked, and the two went inside the tent.

"Right, well, there are a few things one has to know about dating. The first one is about the importance of the location of the date," Sain explained. "Now, some areas that are good locations are-,"

"The Author beat you to it. Please don't go through it again," Kent interrupted. The green knight glared at his red counterpart until the latter felt compelled to say, "Well, it wouldn't be a Duo Himura fic if we didn't break the Fourth Wall on at least one occasion…"

Sain had no choice but to admit to the validity of that claim, and so, resumed his explanation of the other rules.

There is one last, vital facet to the question of where to have your date. Typically, the best date locations are relatively private, quiet, and serene. However, as I just stated, there is one very, very, important final requirement for a particular area to be a good choice for a date, and it was this last aspect that Eliwood, leader of this motley group, now faced. He had found a lovely little patch of moonlit woods, scoured it thoroughly for bandits, and then one-upped the whole thing by setting up a candle-lit dinner in the moonlit patch of woods. Yes, everything was perfect, except for one thing, which, unfortunately, happened to be this one extremely important thing.

"Would someone please tell me where Ninian is?" the red-haired lord cried in frustration.

End of Rule 1. Please turn to side two of disk one for Rule 2.

Next time on 10 Simple Rules for Dating Outside of Your Character Class, we discuss the importance of Speech Preparation. And... something will be revealed... that will not surprise any of you. Jikai, "I know I've got my flashcards here somewhere..." You will see the tears of time. SEE THEM!