Which Way Do We Go?
Legolas – So where do we go from here?
Aragorn – South I believe will be the best way to go.
Legolas – SOUTH! Why south? We should go north!
Aragorn – Why the heck should we go north?
Legolas – Do you want us to die man? North is the only safe way!
Aragorn – South!
Legolas – North!
Aragorn – South!
Legolas – North!
Aragorn – South!
Legolas – North!
Aragorn – What part of "south" don't you understand?
Legolas – I have a better idea! Let's consult the bunny ears! (with that pulls out a pair of pink furry bunny ears)
Aragorn – Where the heck did you get those? Don't tell me you carry those around with you?
Legolas – Don't be silly! Of course I do! They're my good luck charm! And they're from the Bunny People. Of, the, north. (with a smile puts them on his head)
Aragorn – So that's why you want us to go north! So we could meet your little friends? (pointing to the ears still on Legolas's head.)
Legolas – What? I've been meaning to visit them! (shrugging shoulders)
Frodo – What's going on? I heard shouting. And why is Legolas wearing furry bunny ears?
Legolas – Pink! You forgot that they're pink!
Aragorn – Legolas thinks we should continue north. He has some friends he thought we might want to meet. (rolling his eyes)
Legolas – (whispering) The Bunny People.
Aragorn – Whatever!
Frodo – And where do you purpose we go Aragorn?
Aragorn – South. That way we can sneak across to Mordoor. It will be long but we can…. (stops at sight of Legolas mimicking him). Stop mimicking me!
Legolas – "Stop mimicking me!" (stomping his foot like a child with a tantrum)
Aragorn – Stop it now!
Legolas – "Stop it now!"
Aragorn – Frodo make him stop!
Legolas – "Frodo make him stop!"
Frodo just stands there and laughs
Aragorn – FRODO!
Legolas – "Look at me! I'm brave Aragorn! Look as me skip my way to Mordor to girl-slap Saruman to save all of Middle Earth!"
Aragorn – Well at least I'm not some long-haired pretty boy, who spends all his free time in front of the mirror, while thinking up ways to still look "gorgeous" in battle!
Frodo – I see no swarms of women melting at the mere sight of you. No wonder you'd be jealous.
Aragorn – What! Why would I be jealous of some pretty boy!
Frodo – Aragorn how many times do I have to tell you? Guys aren't pretty. They're "hot" and/or "cute".
Aragorn – What-ever! The question remains. Do we go north or south?
Legolas as he crosses his legs, fingers, and bunny ears – Please north. Please north. Please north. North, north, north!
Frodo – Hmmmmmmm? How 'bout east?
Aragorn – What? East!
Legolas – Yeay! What? I'm lost. Did he say north?
Aragorn – Pay attention you moron. He said "east"!
Legolas – Oh, poopy!
Aragorn – Tell me Frodo. Why east?
Frodo – I don't know. I felt like saying east. Now that I think about it seems like east is actually the easiest way to Mordoor.
Aragorn – Fine then we'll go east. Hey, where's Legolas?
meanwhile
Shmeagol – Look we's found a rabbit to eat! And it's still wiggling!
Sam takes the rabbit and puts it a pot
Shmeagol – Don't cook it! You're running it!
Sam – Hand me the 'taters!
Shmeagol – No you fool! If you're going to cook it, cook it right!
Sam – And how do you purpose we do that?
Legolas pops up and says – Hand me the 'taters!
Sam – Legolas I didn't know you could cook? (handing him the 'taters)
Legolas – Neither did I! (running away with them) Nana nana boo boo! I've got your 'taters!
Sam – Legolas where are you going?
Legolas – North! Off to the land of the furry pink bunnies! (while skipping the entire way)
Shmeagol - $#&!
Sam – Oh well. I have more 'taters! First you put the 'taters in the pot.
Shmeagol – No you fool! You forgot to put in the avocado seeds!
Sam – No. you put the avocado seed in after the 'taters!
Shmeagol – You're wrong! You put them in before the 'taters!
Frodo – There he is! He's running north! With an armful of potatoes!