Sap… The only reason it exists is to show us that it's not going to last. – Me.. so cynical.
Seth opened his eyes to an amazing sight. One that he had dreamt an uncountable amount. Through his eyes he saw the most beautiful girl in the word. The girl who has plagued his mind ever since he can remember. The site he saw was Summer Roberts walking gracefully towards him wearing a black dress that deliciously hugged her curves. His eyes caught hers instantly as she released her special smile only reserved for him. The cute innocent smile that could warm up and brighten any of the darkest places.
He moved up on his elbows, slightly disorientated and turned his head to face her. She approached him slowly in a half skipping step by step motion as Seth released his own special smile.
"Hey doable." She whispered in a cheery tone when she stopped a metre in front of him.
"Hey you." Only now realising he was on the beach. It was lovely day. One that came to mind only in lame chick flicks. The sun was beating down on him with a cool breeze floating through the air. He squinted waiting for his eyes to readjust to the brightness.
"Cohen." She whispered as she knelt down next to Seth on her knees, placing a light kiss on his lips.
"What was that for." Seth inquired taking in her appearance once again finishing with her face. God she is beautiful.
"Do I need a reason to kiss my boyfriend." She murmured smoothly leaning back. "Plus u look so adorable when u squint like that, I just couldn't resist." She added smiling and leaning in again.
He just looked at her blankly. She knew that he didn't like being called adorable.
"Shut up punk." She hit him playfully. "I will call you whatever I want to. Especially if u want some of this." She said revealing a brown paper bag that Seth only now noticed.
Seth thought about commenting on how he didn't say anything but his mind left it at that as his eyes caught on to what summer was holding. "Ooooo, what u got there?" As he tried to reach for the bag.
Summer swatted his hand away. "Well my adorable boyfriend, I have here a drink named mountain due, and a doughnutwannabe called a bagel. I got 2." She announced happily.
Seth leaned up kissing the tip of her nose for a sec then leaned back into his previous position. "Well you definitely know the way to a man's heart."
Seth absolutely loved it when she did these kinds of acts. Kind of a reassurance that stabilised his every reoccurring insecurity's. Last thing he remembered was it being around three in the afternoon. They where both having a picnic on a too prefect Sunday afternoon on the beach. They had being enjoying themselves munching on some fish and chips that they had collected when passing by the pier. After a tickling match or two and a couple of making out sessions they had tired themselves out and lay hand in hand looking up at the sky on blanket chatting, gently talking to each other as the cool breeze washed over them. Next thing he knew he was waking up to an approaching Summer.
"A mans heart?" Summer question with a sly smile, bringing Seth out of his thoughts and back to their conversation.
Seth smiled back looking amusingly at her, then returning his sight back to the bag. "Can I have, pwease." Doing the whole pleading eyes thing and placing his hand out.
"Here sweetie." She said, taking out the mountain dew and handing it to him. She took out the bagel breaking it in half and handing one part to him.
Seth took the piece and started munching on it in his uniquely adorable way. Summer sitting next to him, watched his every move and motion with ardent interest and amusement. Her heart swelled with love as she gazed at him, but at the same time reprimanded herself at being so mushy. But what can she do, he brought out that side of her that didn't seem to exist pre Seth Cohen.
Seth could feel summer looking at him but decided against returning the gazed yet. He finished off his half of the bagel then took a keen interest in the sowing of the blanket he was sitting on. Becoming restless a mere few seconds later he decided to see why he felt a hole was being burnt through him. The second he lifted his head to look up summer looked away with a stupid grin on her face. She didn't like it when people saw what she affectionately called "The Lame Love Sick Smile," with a capital for each word. That smile was only for sappy romance movies, not for real life, not for her, not for Summer Roberts, but sometimes she just could help it, just maybe fairy tales can come true.
Seth looked on at her amused for a second.
Summer returned her gaze to Seth's eyes.
He smiled.
She smiled.
After holding the gaze for a moment she looked away again, mesmerized by the affection she captured from his eyes.
"Hey you, what's up." Taking her chin with his hand and gently gliding her head back so they could continue eye contact.
She smiled. "I was just wondering…." She said fading off at the end of the sentence thinking of a way to break the 'moment' that was of cause mandatory in their relationship.
"Really, and what would u be wondering about." Giving her a quick peck on the lips.
Moving to straddle Seth, she leaned up brushing his ear whispering tenderly. "If I've told you that I love u today?"
"Nope I don't think u have." He stated trying to hold himself as Summer continued teasing his ear. Leaning back slightly his eyes swept over her face taking in her each and every feature, loving the smell of her perfume that he couldn't quite remember, he was positive it was something from the cK range, it kind of smelled like strawberries, which was so alluring and arousing he couldn't even let the conversation finish.
"Well I wa…"
Being overcome from lust Seth shifted their weight in a smooth moving fashion resulting in Summer being guided back on the blanket with Seth holding himself on top of her leaning down, kissing her with intimidating passion.
Summer felt her heart rate begin to escalate loving the feeling she was getting from the way Seth was kissing her. She turned her head slightly to allow better access as she allowed Seth's tongue to console her own.
The intensity of the make-out session had escalated rather rapidly in such a short amount of time. Seth's hand was roaming around under Summer's shirt, his hand reminiscing with areas at her back with skin delightfully smooth. He closed his hands letting his nails slide down her back towards the tip of her skirt. Summer was feeling her resolve slipping away in a prolific fashion. She regained her bearings holding up her arms, pushing him away at the shoulders. Seth simply looked at her. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. His eyes spoke to her. And what they were declaring was starting to melt whatever resolve she was attempting to grasp onto. He leaned down slightly, his lips mere millimetres form hers, still keeping eyes contact. He could smell the intoxicating aroma that emanated from her. He stayed still lost in the moment. Lost in his thoughts…
His feelings…
His desires…
Her eyes…lost in her…
She couldn't take it, him looking at her like that, she felt her heart swell with love with wave by wave crashing sending warm serges through her body. She leaned up as they shared a love woven kiss. And Summer's resolve had disintegrated. Moving her head to allow better access letting the kiss deepen.
A few moments later Seth pulled back, a delicate smile lacing his lips.
"Umm summer as much as I would love to continue to do this on the beach, I ahh don't think it is quite appropriate." Smiling his cute smile.
Summer still trying to catch her breath. "Umm what? - Ahh yea I agree." Smiling back but not having a clue why, her eyes fixated on Seth's. "So why don't we take this some where else?" Staring straight him in the eye.
Seth, liking where this was going smile contently. "Ahh...yea…umm, sure lets…" Great that was smooth.
"Nice Cohen, real smooth." Seth smiled at her. She sighed in a pleased fashion loving the effect she had on him.
She rose to her feet dusting off any remnants of sand from her dress. As she started a unique skip / running technique, only a few metres from her origin, she turned back to check out what Seth was doing. To her disappointment he was on the blanket, but now in an upright sitting position just staring at her.
She sighed to herself, amused at what Seth was doing. Sometimes she could never guess what his next move would be. Sometimes he was just…what was the word…capricious? - or was it just plain weird. After gathering her thoughts she decided to address him.
"Hey Seth..." she accentuated the voul in Seth. "How about we go via my house first before we meet everybody at your house." A hint of nonchalant seduction floating in her tone.
"Hmm and why are we going to pass by your house?" Starting to stand up.
Slowly taking a step back cocking her head slightly. "Use your imagination… Cohen." She appeased seductively letting the word 'Cohen' roll off her tongue.
Seth immediately started rolling the blanket up. "Well my imagination is going crazy right now so why don't you tip the scales in a particular direction." He looked up, following in her direction.
Summer stopped and looked up at him. "Hi, excuse me - excuse me."
Seth looked at her confused. "Summer, ahh….what!"
With Seth's eyes fixated on Summer she started again. "Excuse me sir. Can u please move your seat in an upright position."
"What the -"
Seth's eyes flashed open, flinching at the scene is eyes were showing him. He glanced around taking everything in. He closed his eyes as realisation dawned on him. As he sighed he rubbed his face with his hands, acknowledging the hostess.
"Having a nice dream ay. Sad it got interrupted?" A husky voice brought Seth out of his thoughts.
Seth looked at the man sitting next to him. "More like a scary nightmare."
The man stared at Seth for about ten seconds, making him feel slightly uncomfortable under his gaze. "Ahh I see." The man was about sixty years old with a white beard and a wrinkled tanned skin. Probably a local Californian. Seth thought he looked a lot like Santa but with a much shorter beard and an undersized green round brim hat. "Yeah, one of those ones, that seem so real – so life like."
Seth faced the man still talking in his features. He just looked so normal. The picture book thought of what an old man looked like, so inviting and relaxed. Thinking about what this person has experienced throughout his life and the stories he had he answered his question. "I guess u could call it that."
The old man continued without hesitation. "You know, some people say that dreams are connected to your desires, what you are seeking in life ultimately or at the present."
Seth looked at the man with a regarded scepticism.
The man smiled as Seth saw something flash in his eyes as he continued. "I have heard that dreams are symbolic visions." He lowered his head slightly breaking for affect, then raising his head to reconnect eye contact. "Symbolic visions of unconscious drives and wishes that would be threatening if you…um, you expressed them out loud."
Seth looked away thinking about what the man said. "Or I could take the Freud direction." Seth replied for no reason. Just to say something.
"Ahh yes good old Freud. Unique character he was." The man now glancing out the window. "And which direction would that take you."
Seth took a moment to think of a response. Before he spoke he waved at the attendant succeeding in grabbing her attention, smiling. "Can I please have a drink, any type that contains any alcohol. And umm an empty bag."
The attendant took a second to regard Seth while the old man chuckled. Sensing that Seth was already somewhat inebriated she tried to persuade him to choose a different beverage. "Sir I don't think that is a wise choice of beverage, you seem a bit… may I recommend some water?"
Seth smiled at her response before replying playfully, "How about u get the stuff, and I be the judge of that."
"Okay, no worries." The attendant replied smiling amusedly.
Seth returned his thought back to the old man's question. After a moments silence he continued the conversation. "Maybe the right, but I doubt that."
"Why u think?"
The attendant returned smiling at Seth handing him his requests. "Enjoy." She replied still wearing the amused grin
Seth thought it was kinda weird of having such a deep conversation at a time like this. He didn't even know his name. Seth thought he was probably a Frank. He looked like a Frank anyway. "Because I have travelled down that direction before and it only resulted in pain. A lot of pain."
Frank, still looking out the window, "Do u think you needed the pain for self growth."
As much as Seth wanted to call this conversion lame, the man had brought up an interesting point, one which he had never thought of before. He laughed for a second but it felt unusual. "Maybe, but that depends on what happens after and-"
"But either way u have leaned something, what makes you sure." Frank cut him off
Seth thought for a second. That didn't even make sense! "Well I'm going back, and I guess I will be facing all my demons, more so then… then you think." He breathed out feeling pleased that he could finally relinquish some of the weight he had been carrying on his shoulders for a couple of days now….but knowing some weights had embedded itself in him. "So what do u propose I do." "And please don't answer my question again with another question."
The man looked at him with an amused smile. "You're a smart young boy. You got to figure it out for yourself. I will give you one piece of advice though. Life is about perception. View it as u will, but don't look back saying 'why didn't I realise that.'"
Seth smiled back at the man and nodded in understanding and appreciation returning his attention to his drink for a moment before taking it down in one gulp.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seth walked out the automatic doors of the Airport, tasting the fresh air. It warmed him, he reminisces with the scent as memories coming flooding back. It feels foreign yet so secure, like a warm hug from a grandparent u haven't seen in years. He looked up at the sky, then around, taking in all his surroundings, evaluating it - a bias judgment. The sky was slightly overcast with the sun setting peacefully in the distance, effectively producing a melted orange and purple colour dissolving in the scattered clouds. "Huh. Newport. Back. And still can't even have a normal sunset." He stumbled unceremoniously up to a taxi, opening the door shoving his one and only bag into the back before taking his seat. As he announced his address he solemnly looked out the window. He inhaled slightly then exhaled heavily.
"California here we come. Right back where we started from."
Seth started to become nervous. His gaze still fixated out the window but now he recognised certain landmarks. Dread and misery are now added as ingredients in the come back home cake. The familiar land marks now fold into familiar streets, into familiar neighbourhood, into familiar houses. And now familiar driveway. He pays the taxi driver, takes out his bag and is paralysed to the spot. He can't move, he just gazes up at the house from the top of his driveway. After a couple of deep breathes he starts to walk finally reaching the front door. He reaches his hand up to knock but stopped himself, feeling like such a stranger to his own home. A home he hasn't resided to in so long.
A young boy opened the door startling Seth.
"Hello." The boy paused staring at Seth unnervingly. "Your Seth!" he announced excitedly upon realisation.
"Ahh yup that's me. What's your name?" Seth bent down to reach eye level.
"I am Joshua Lincoln." He mumbled proudly.
"Hey you're the cute little boy from next door"
"Cute, ahhhhhh. But ya, im from next door."
"Wow, u really have grown, look at you, all muscles, looking a mean and green." Josh was a cute little boy. He had soft curly brown hair with matching innocent eyes. Seth could see a little of him in the child.
"So bouncer can I come in or is this place for exclusives only?"
The boy smiled, took Seth by the hand and started to lead him into the house. Seth slowly followed walking step by step looking around the house to see any changes. His head started to swirl in realisation of the occurrence of the event inevitably going to unfold. He took a moment to gather himself, reassuring himself that he is strong enough to endure what's coming, and endure the pain of seeing her again. He wonders what pain and emotion will arise at the mere sight of her. What will he say? What will he do? Scenarios zig zag through his minds eye. What will she say? And what will she do? As his mind still races he releases a foreign word from his lips, "Summer" in a light whisper to himself.
Josh, still holding Seth's hand looked up at him catching what he said. "She is here…" He tugged slightly on Seth's arm bringing Seth out of his thoughts.
"So u know where my mum is?" Not hearing what Josh had said. Come on Seth you can do this. One step at a time, first mum then later you can worry bout her.
"Yups, she is sitting in the family room."
"Lead the way little man." He said trying to reassure himself by talking confidently.
Josh lead the way still clutching Seth's hand, through the kitchen to the family room. Seth stoped dead still. He gazed upon his mum, she turned from her seat somehow sensing him. She stood there limp for a moment before racing up and taking Seth is a vice like grip hug.
"Seth, sweetie." She breathed sadly.
Seth dropped his bag embracing her in the hug. "I know mum. It's going to be okay. It's all going to be ok." He sighed sadly leaning back to have a good look at her. She looked plain sad. Not miserable or unhappy, just sad. Seth decided to attempt to somewhat improve her mood. "Come on, take a seat. I will fix us some coffee." He led her over to the couch and sat her down, retreating back to the kitchen to fix the coffee.
Josh making his presence aware went to the couch and crawled up onto Kirsten's lap. Seth looked around the kitchen pulling open drawers and cupboards to check if everything was where he had last witnessed them. Josh becoming bothered by the silence, broke the ambience, "Aunt Kirsten, I like Seth." He announced as if Seth wasn't there.
Kirsten laughed while Seth smiled. "Thanks buddy" Seth called form the kitchen starting to prepare the beverage.
When he had prepared the drinks he brought her it, taking a seat next to her. "Mmm this is nice. Hits the spot. So how was your flight?
Seth entertained her with some Mother Son chat for a few minutes, before he decided do get to the point. He really was worried about her. He knew that he could deal with the pain. He had some what become a professional at dealing with it. Plenty forms of it too. It would just melt into him, join forces with the cyclone that currently rages hell inside him. Plus he had his own special technique to cope. But these techniques hadn't been employed in a while.
He took her hand and asked sincerely, "So how are you doing? Like really doing?" He looked her in her eyes worriedly. Searching for the truth.
"I'm doing fine." She looked up at Seth then began again. "I'm doing alright. I know its a difficult part of life but I've come to except it. You know with my dad and especially my mum. Such is life." She solemnly looked at her drink. Swirling it, trying to see her reflection through the ripples. Watching her reflection shift from normal to the effect that the ripples had.
Her thoughts drift off to escape. To end the dwelling on such a poignant pain. Was this how she had learnt to accept this?
Seth sifted through her words. He needed to hear that she was ok, at least dealing, just one sentence, not wanting a parental placebo 'truth.'
A couple of minutes ensued then, leaving both of them in their world of thoughts.
Seth finished off his drink, stood up and went to her. He leaned down engulfing her in a tender loving hug resting his check on her head. He wished he could capture all of her pain, gather it all up and devour it. He leaned back placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Kirsten looked at Seth and smiled. Her little boy had grown up. So mature, acting all strong for her. She grasped his hand looking fondly at him, the way only a mother can. "Thank you." She half whispered half mouthed.
She saw something moving behind Seth and glanced behind him making eye contact with the person. Oh no! She felt a stirring in her gut. This is not going to be good... She looked back up to Seth but he was already turning around to follow her gaze.
He stood there motionless, as if he was looking upon the devil himself. Or maybe it's herself. Well in his mind it just might be. "Summer.." he breathed.
She stood still a few feet from him, completely clueless as what to do. She had thought about this an uncountable amount of times, the first confrontation, but here she was motionless, frozen. As scenarios flashed through her minds eye she felt a heat rising, gradually making its way up her body reaching her face.
Then she spoke.
He we go. In the most pleasant and meaningful voice she could muster she said, "Hi Seth." What, that's all you going to say!
There was a moment of ear piecing silence. There eyes locked for a moment before he looked down. She tried to read him, catch a whiff of what was going to be served. It had been so long, but she would never forget how. Seth turned back to his mother. Eyes glazed looking intently at her. Kirsten looked down immediately, not being able to stand the look in his eye, the emotions flashing through them.
Then he spoke.
It was in a low husky, raspy voice and came out in full force, hard and sharp. "What the hell is she doing here."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"No. You go first." Hailey said.
Hailey and Ryan looked at each other both wearing concerned looks. They were standing outside Seth's bedroom door. They heard that Seth had arrived. They also heard that the Seth Summer confrontation had also arrived, relieved that its span lasted a sentence each. For now at least it was safe, but they weren't ignorant to the fact that the explosion that will be the actual confrontation will arrive soon. They were just going to extinguish the possibility of it arriving till after the more important sad situation was soothed.
"Umm you know what, I was thinking it be better if you went in first. Cause you're his aunt." Ryan replied.
"So? You're his brother. You can be all guy to guy bonding." Hailey stated, motioning her arm to the door.
"And u can be the understanding Aunt, that young cool relative that's easy to talk to." Ryan countered staying resilient.
Hailey huffed. "Fine, whatever." She said dismissively. Ryan regarded her for a moment, thinking that she had been spending way too much time with Summer.
They both knew that Seth, when dipping into his depressed states, was extremely hard to talk to. They both had enormous trouble trying to help him through the last episode. So naturally they both shied away at the privilege of repeating it. It was difficult to assume what mood he would be in, especially from a situation such as this.
Hailey gently knocked on the door, hesitantly opening it, walking through. She found Seth sitting at the far side of his bed looking out the widow. The sun had almost set which left the room littered with shadows omitting an eerie ambience. Guessing that Seth had not heard her yet, she moved over to the bed, sitting on the opposite side of it, her back facing his back.
"Hey." Hailey said tentatively.
"Hey." Seth responded. I guess he knew she was there.
Typical of Hailey she got straight to the point. "You alright?" She asked playing with the polish on her finger nails. From his answer she could read which mood he is in and how he was coping with everything.
Seth breathed out. "I am…..actually alright." He said sincerely somewhat surprised by this revelation. He moved around so that he was sitting cross legged towards Hailey. She mirrored Seth's actions positioning herself cross legged facing him.
"You sure?"
"Yeah"
"Seriously? Your not lying to me?" She took his hand in both of hers.
"I'm not lying. I'm being serious." He looked down. "I'm not saying I'm not sad or whatever, but I'm dealing." He looked back up. "And yes a lot better then usual.." drifting off at the end of his sentence.
Seth was her only nephew. She did care about him greatly, she always thought of herself as more of an older sister to him. Hailey had mellowed heaps from the party girl she once was when Ryan first came into the picture. She was much more family orientated and caring now. She was leading her own life now. She had her own house, a respectable job, a special someone. Things were coming together for her.
She gave him warm smile, glancing at him. He smiled back. She opened her arms inviting him for a hug. Seth gladly accepted, enjoying the warmth and reassurance. Family hugs really could do wonders.
"Good cause if you were lying I would have had to adopt a new approach. And that requires time, which really I wouldn't want to waste on you." They leaned back into their sitting position.
Seth smiled, mainly to himself, appreciating the attempt at trying to lighten to mood, take his mind of what's happening. "Really, and what would this new approach entail?" he questioned.
"Well, umm since the giving you space to sought out your mess kinda sucked, I think I would go to beating some sense into ya." She waited a moment before continuing. "Verbally of course."
Seth smiled, "Verbally, of course."
"Yeah, I don't think I can take you one on one anymore. You kinda filled out." Regarding his figure. " Well sorta, umm actually nahh, its just the shadows."
Seth smiled scrunching up his face. "Thank you"
She looked at Seth. Her adorable cute little nephew who going to endure an extremely hard time. She just hoped she helped him, even it was only a smidgen. "Come here" she said opening her arms again to take him in another warm hug.
Ryan meanwhile had been standing by the door, eavesdropping on the whole conversation. Seth seemed to be doing alright and he had really missed him. Thinking since when and why would he be scared of Seth, he knocked on the door, and entered the room.
Seth looked up to see who was coming in, praying it wasn't Summer. To his utter relief it wasn't, it was someone whom he was much more thankful to see. Ryan walked over smiling, greeting Seth in a firm hug.
"Hey, good to see you." Ryan said. They both moved over to sit on the side of the bed, feet on the floor.
Hailey switch position to mimic theirs while mouthing "bitch" to Ryan. Ryan just ignored her.
"So hey buddy" Seth appeased. "What's up?"
Hailey could see just from Ryan's presence there was an instant change in Seth. "Just came to check up on you. I see your not moping or any of your other coping techniques," Ryan said relieved. "Which I think we are all grateful for."
Seth smiled. "Yeah, you guys don't have to worry. I'm all goods. Well not all goods but I'm alright. You guys got other things to worry about, and I'm telling you now, put me on the bottom or the list." He looked at the both of them glancing from one to the other. "Seriously." He shook his head to emphasize his point.
Hailey was first sceptical of this. Seth was hard to read sometimes, especially if he was committed to his cause. But there was something genuine that she could see. It was mainly his body language, but it was basically how he had approached both her and Ryan's questions on how he was dealing. As if it was some challenge he had to complete. That he was set on completing.
Ryan on the other hand saw that Seth was telling the truth. He was actually going to deal. Ryan's only concern was born from dilemma that is Seth's choices. He wanted to come straight out ask what his game plan was, kind of see which direction he was opting to go. Time had passed, people had changed, wounds healed? But Ryan knew that he couldn't, this was all on Seth.
"So." Hailey burst out randomly. "How was your flight?"
"You get any baby's crying? Get a good seat, not next to any weirdo's?" Ryan added.
Seth thought for a second delivering nonchalantly, "Well no baby's crying. Did have an unusual conversation about the queries of life with an old guy sitting next to me, I almost got rejected from boarding the flight cause they thought I was too drunk passed out before we even took off, had a really really scary dream, O, and I think if I tried hard enough I could have become a member of the mile high club."
Hailey laughed while ryan just smiled. "Right…" Yup same old Seth.
Ryan, somewhat intrigued by the last part of Seth's recap of his plane ride inquired for more details. "What? With who?"
"One of the hostess'."
Ryan "Ahh" back in understanding.
Hailey interjected with her own inquiry. "So what you get up to in England. University student, all by yourself, single, living the high life. And I mean high life. It's all legal there. Well it was when I was crashing there, well I think I was anyway." Hailey said enthusiastically, all of a sudden becoming interested what his absence could entail. Judging by her experiences in the Europe area she would bet that Seth had quite a few fairly entertaining tales to tell.
Hailey smiled to herself, caught up in her fond memories of gallivanting through Europe getting high as a kite, fucking random hot Euro guys, not having a care in the world. Good times, Good times she sighed, but was glad she was back home. She was over the partying, it kinda bored her now, not to say she still didn't party hard, cause she did, real hard, but in moderation, when she felt like relaxing and having a fun time.
Hailey while being consumed by her thoughts, missed the part where she mentioned Seth's single status, not realising why he was in England and the saga of why he was single. Ryan though had not eluded this slip, and the look on Seth's face definitely showed that he hadn't missed it either.
Ryan opened his mouth saying the first thing that came to his mind hoping to avert Seth's attention from dwelling on Summer. "So why don't you come down and get something to eat. You never did like aeroplane food so you must be hungry." Ryan said pushing of the bed to get himself into a standing position.
Seth looked up to see Ryan staring at him expectantly. "Huh? Umm, nah I'm not really that hungry. I just want to lie down. A bit fatigued from the flight. And the jet lagged, dude I don't even wanna do the math." Seth replied trying to show that he either did not hear the afore mentioned turbulent potential comment or displaying that it did not effect him.
Hailey moved up standing in front of Seth. "Okay. Well come down after you've had some rest." She smiled at him. "Now give me a big hug and we will see you down stairs soon, okay" Seth smiled back, accepting the offer of a hug.
"It's good to see ya." Ryan stated sincerely giving Seth a knowing look, a Ryan specialty.
"Yeah, we've all missed you." Hailey said leaning back from the hug. "I would have lost a lot of money betting on that." She added as an after thought.
"Why thank you" Seth responded sending her a toothy grin.
Hailey winked in response before following Ryan out of the room.
When the door was closed, they looked at each other. "Well that was as weird as expected." Hailey said shrugging.
"Did you have to mention that little part about him being single and all. Cause I don't know if you know, but the reason he went there was because of he and Summer...well…" Ryan drifted off.
Hailey cocked her head biting he lip. "Ohh." Looking back at ryan. "Well its been like over a year. Its about time he gets over it."
"He is…its just that – whatever." Ryan sighed giving up.
Hailey placed her hands on Ryan's back, walking him down the hallway towards the stairs. "Well I don't know. I came later and I heard the saga from like 5 different people."
Saga indeed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seth lay on his bed. Head where his feet should be, blankly facing the ceiling. From his computer speakers the sounds of freeform five glide through the room.
Just thinking.
I Fix a point upon the ceiling
Nothing to do how can I make my escape
And since when has that done anyone any favours. His thoughts drift, why he is back at this place, how is life is going to change now? He seemingly drifts numbly through these thoughts till they land on Summer.
Then the feelings start.
The sudden shock, a hidden feeling
No room to breathe feels like I'm locked in this space
First its feels like a baby slobbering on any object it can get it hands on. A soft waving feeling curls at the pit of his stomach.
Gradually it fosters, to a mouse gently nibbling. The pain starts to oscillate, stretching its reach to consume any area available.
"She is here…in your house…just downstairs" He comments to himself.
No more conversations on my own
Walking one straight line, nowhere to go
Like a disease it spread, like serpents slithering, searching for new hidden places to wreak havoc on.
But they are no hidden areas.
Within only a few moments Seth was consumed by the all the familiar pain that's married to any thought of Summer Roberts. Just like that his mind was frenzied with thoughts of her, his body writhed in pain.
No more room to
No more room to breathe
He sat up abruptly. He tried swallowing but found he wasn't able to. It felt like his throat was constricted, closing up leaving him trying to catch his breath, eventually being able to once he relaxed a bit.
Revealing all my secrets on my own
The feeling's going down, now can't let go
He sat there stiffly, reminiscing with the emotional pain. Trying in any way to hold it off, contain it, prevent it from growing, both in intensity and size. But I wasn't working. Nothing ever did.
Don't wanna live it like I'm dreaming
The lies are water all the decisions are fake
Knowing the only way to stop the pain and ultimately saving his sanity he sat up and moved over to his study table. He opened the drawer taking out his exacto knife. He walked over to his window and peered out. The evanescence of the sun left the moon gleaming over the cloudless sky. The reflection of the moon glittered sporadically throughout the ocean while the wind blew untroubled.
I've given up on hopes of leaving
A broken bridge on every choice that I make
He lifted up his shirt on the side with his right hand revealing the span of skin just above his hip bone. He traced over the skin with his hand, feeling the scars. They only reassured him that this was the only way. He took knife placing the cold metal against his skin. He inhaled a large breath. It had been so long since he had done this. He had been going so well. He sighed releasing his breath. The usual approach was adopted. Counting back from 3 and it would all begin…again.
"3" he said sternly.
"2" he was on a mission.
"1" he closed his eyes.
Close my eyes to
I close my eyes to see
Mother Nature held her breath as the wind grew to an aching still, the trees momentarily froze, the moon sighed with the gleaming and glittering absent for just the moment.
Seth rocked his head back breathing heavily. After a moment he sat on the side of his bed. He reached for a tissue to cover up the wound, his mind reeling. He continued to breath heavily, focusing on the cut and the pain its revealing, anything to defer the Summer Roberts inflicted torture. He moved his legs up on the bed so he could lie down. Taking a moment he closed his eyes.
Where I turn it depends
Where I fall in the end
His thoughts drifted again…
"Fuck, I gotta get out of this place."
He lifted up his shirt to check on his wound. It seemed to have stopped bleeding. He threw off his shirt walking to his closet to check if he had any old shirt that he would still deem worthy of wearing. Spotting an old dark blue polo, he donned it figuring it matched his mood. He grabbed his wallet and phone, walked out his bedroom and down the stairs hoping to god that no one would see him leave.
No body did.
He had no idea where he was going to go. All he knew was that he needed to escape this house, his home…