The Kender and the Jedi

The Kender and the Jedi

The starship Explorer IV made a slow pass of the fourth planet of the system. From the view ports on the bridge, Captain Br'in Krow nodded to the technician on the sensor panel. "Report?"

Ang Richa didn't look up at her captain as she spoke; she was struggling to resolve a strange sensor reading. "Primitive life forms, Captain. No technology. Atmosphere hospitable. Two, maybe three moons, and only two major land masses."

Captain Krow raised an eyebrow. "Two, maybe three moons? Is there something wrong with the sensors?"

Ang shook her head, her Twi'lek head-tail swaying slightly. She was hesitant in her answer. "No, sir, I don't think so. It's just that the two moons that we have a lock on - one silver, one red - are very visible. The third, well, I suppose it must be black. When I say it's black, I'm assuming that it's not cloaked. The only logical thing would be to assume that it's black – so black that it can't be seen against the black of space. We can't get a visual on it, but the sensors show the gravitic anomalies of a body. For some reason, we just can't see it."

Captain Krow moved to the command platform. "Interesting. A moon that perfectly black? That would be a first, as far as I know. To be invisible, it would have to absorb light. I've never heard of a naturally occurring body that does that. Are you sure it's not cloaked?"

"The planet has no technology, nothing beyond the bow-and-arrow stage. They would have no means to cloak a moon."

The Captain turned to the man standing next to him. Br'in Krow was taller than his guest by almost six inches, but it was he that was intimidated by the Jedi. "Any thoughts, Master Solo?"

Jacen Solo stiffened. His first thought was that the Yuuzhan Vong could have cloaked that moon. He dismissed the notion, as the Vong had not demonstrated any ability to cloak their ships, much less planets or moons. The Captain's statement about light absorption intrigued him. Objects are only visible when they reflect light. Jacen gripped the rail before him and closed his eyes, reaching out with the Force. Slowly, he opened them and said, "The Vong didn't cloak that planet, I'm almost certain of that. They haven't cloaked any planets they've taken from us, and we'd likely be under attack right now if they were here. The Force is very strong on this planet, but it feels different. It's not completely different, but nor is the same flavor of the Force that I'm accustomed to." He turned a little red. "I'm sorry that's the best way I can explain it. This is the first time I've come across this. My uncle might have some insight, but I'm at a loss."

The six-person crew of the Explorer IV remained silent until Captain Krow broke the ice. "Would you advise against a landing, Master Solo?"

Jacen smiled thinly. "I'm not quite a Jedi Master yet, Captain. You can call me Jacen. But, no, I would not advise against a landing. However, I would suggest that we not interact with the natives, given Ang's statement about their level of technology. We should plant the sensors and head out. Once the Vong crisis is over, we could send a Sci-Team out here to study that moon."

"I was thinking that myself. Okay, we have our course of action then. Let's prepare for a landing." Krow nodded to his pilot. "Krish, find a spot to touch down where we won't be seen coming in, and won't be found once we're on the ground."

* * * *

Tasslehoff Burrfoot was having the most amazing day. It all started back at the Inn of the Last Home, in Solace. Perched high in the great Vallenwood trees, the Inn had been Tasslehoff's second (or was it third? Fourth? An adventurer like Tas could hardly be expected to remember) home for the past several years. He was fond of Solace, and was sure that everyone in Solace was fond of him as well, especially now that he was a Hero of the Lance. Sure, some things never change; Tas still found himself running afoul of shopkeepers who mistook his safekeeping of their items for thievery. It was a similar incident that had started the kender's amazing day.

The annual Spring Dawning Festival was barely two days underway and Tas was having a ball. He began his day at the Inn with Tanis, Caramon, and Tika. He had been telling them about the time he was turned into a squirrel by an evil mage, but only Tika was listening to him; Tanis and Caramon had both been on that adventure with him, and had no desire to relive it. As Tas got to the part where he single-handedly reversed the spell and defeated the mage, the great door of the Inn opened with a fierce bang. A deep voice spoke two words from the doorway.

"Tasslehoff Furrfoot".

The patrons of the Inn scarcely looked up from their tables. Anything to do with a kender was better off out of their hands.

When nobody answered after a moment, the stranger spoke again.

"Where is Tasslehoff Furrfoot?" intoned the deep voice from below a deep, red hood. The figure stood in the doorway as if crossing the threshold was too great a danger.

Tanis and Caramon turned their attention back to the kender, who was innocently looking around for someone named Furrfoot. "Tas?" said Tanis quietly.

"Oh, certainly he doesn't mean me, Tanis. My name's not Furrfoot, although my Uncle Trapspringer was a Furrfoot. Say, I wonder if that person isn't looking for old Uncle Trapspringer, and he just got our names confused." Tanis watched intently as Tas sprung from he chair and began weaving toward the door. He shot a glance at Caramon and the big man nodded. Strange men in red-hooded cloaks were people to be watched.

The little kender, no bigger than a human child, made his way easily through the crowd. Townsfolk had a habit of clearing a path and clutching their purses whenever they saw him coming anyway. "Hi," he said, extending a hand to the stranger. "Tasslehoff Burrfoot. My Uncle Trapspringer Furrfoot is probably who you're looking for, we have different last names, but we are related, I assure you. I don't know where he is right now, but I'm sure I could help you find him."

As Tas disappeared into the distorted light, Tanis looked at Caramon and sighed. "There's probably another kender maiden that Tas stood up at the altar." An image came to his mind of the dwarf who had some to fetch Tasslehoff for that reason before the War of the Lance.

Tanis smiled and turned back to his wine.

"Where are we going?" asked Tasslehoff. "And who are you? That was quite rude, what you just did. You could at least introduce yourself before magicking a fellow away like that."

The kender and the mage had materialized on a road, one that Tas didn't recognize. That interested the little fellow, who was sure that he'd seen every road on Ansalon by now. Eager to make a record of it, Tas had pulled a sheaf of parchments from one of his many pouches and begun writing. It wasn't until he realized that he had no information that he asked the question. "We're going home," the mage answered shortly.

"Who's home, my home? This doesn't look at all like the area around Kendermore. Why didn't you just magick us all the way there? And for that matter, you didn't tell me where we are exactly. I'm trying to make a map; I'm a mapmaker. I can't very well make an accurate map if I don't have some sort of reference."

The mage sighed. He hadn't been pleased with his assignment to bring in the kender, but he'd taken it because he'd been ordered to. His master was not someone to say no to. He quickened his pace as he explained. "We're going to the home of my master, my home as well. I didn't 'magick' us there because there is a spell over the structure that prevents it."

Tasslehoff absentmindedly twirled his hoopak staff in his hand; glad he'd picked it up before talking to the mage at the Inn. He followed as best he could, topknot bouncing with each step. "A wizard's keep? I've been to a few of those. Did I ever tell you the story about the time I found this teleporting ring? No, of course not, we just met. Well, one time I found a teleporting ring—"

"Please," the mage cut him off. "We're almost there."

* * * *

Aboard the Explorer IV, Jacen Solo came out of his Jedi trance with a start. He glanced out the view port in his quarters and noticed that the ship had begun its descent onto the planet. Thinking quickly, he realized that he had come out of his meditation at the precise moment that the ship hit the atmosphere. Curious, he thought. I wish Jaina or Uncle Luke were here for this. Unfortunately for Jacen's wish, both his twin sister and his uncle were exploring sectors of their own for this mission.

The Yuuzhan Vong were still a threat to the New Republic, and the Jedi Knights had taken it upon themselves to scout the areas where the Vong were likely to be hiding. Jacen had already scouted three other systems, with no hint of Vong transgression. This time was different. This time, there were humanoid life forms on the planet. More worrisome than that though, there was an anomaly in the Force that Jacen couldn't explain.

Like he'd told Captain Krow, it wasn't that the Force was missing from this small planet; it was just a little different somehow. Jacen made up his mind to figure out why.

A chirp emitted from his comlink; it was Captain Krow. "Jacen, we'll be touching down in about ten minutes, if you'd like to join us on the bridge."

"Thanks, Captain. I'll be right there."

* * * *

The red-robed wizard placed his hand on the door of the keep and spoke a single word in the language of magic. The door swung open silently, and he and Tasslehoff strode in. "Don't touch anything," the mage admonished the kender. Tas looked around the room with narrowed eyes. "Are you sure this is the right place? This doesn't look like a wizard's keep, and I've seen lots of wizard's keeps. Where's all the books and scrolls and vials of nasty stuff?"

"Upstairs, safe from the prying eyes and fingers of kender."

A look of hurt passed briefly across Tasslehoff's face, but it was quickly replaced by curiosity. "Where's your master? Do we just stand here and wait for him to appear, or are you going to teleport us to where he is?"

As if on cue, the air around the pair shimmered, and they found themselves in a room with no doors or windows. All the books and vials that Tas had expected, plus a great many more interesting items lined the walls and worktables. A large oak desk took up almost half the room, and behind it was seated another red-robed wizard. A wave of the wizard's hand, and a pair of sturdy chairs appeared behind Tas and his abductor.

The elderly wizard at the desk peered intently at the pair, then spoke in a low, fluid voice. "Well done, Broch. You may retreat to your rooms if you desire."

"Thank you, Master." With a shimmering of air, Broch was gone. Tasslehoff meanwhile was squirming in his chair; not out of fear of the wizard (they're all so interesting!) but with boredom. He wrestled with the desire to be polite to his host, and his desire to investigate the room. The wizard seemed to sense this.

Unfortunately, despite the mage's age and education, he was woefully unaware of the habits of kender. "You may move freely about the room, Mr. Burrfoot, but please don't touch anything." The rustling of his blood-red robes was the only sound in the room as he rose and came around the desk.

Tasslehoff was up from his chair and investigating some items on a table before heard the end of the sentence. Not that a warning like that would have bothered the kender in the least. "Say, this looks just like that teleporting ring I once found!"

The mage lunged for the table, but too late. The ring securely on his finger, Tasslehoff disappeared.

"Now this, I recognize!" said Tas. Indeed, he'd teleported to a road he'd traveled when he visited the city of Flotsam one year ago. The port city and the Blood Sea of Istar were less than a day's travel from where he stood. Looking down at his hand, he peered at the ring. "It was awfully irresponsible of him to leave this lying on a table like that. I'll bring it back to him right now." Try as he might, Tas couldn't get the ring to bring him back to the wizard's study. He twisted it, turned it, and rubbed it, with no effect. He brought the ring up close to his nose and saw a network of tiny cracks in the copper band. One of the jewels had fallen off. "Gee, it's not much use to anyone now, I suppose. I'll just head to Flotsam and wait for Mr. Broch to come get me again." With that, the kender started down the road to the city. His hoopak twirled in his hand and he hummed his favorite trail song. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something in the trees to the west. The hoopak came to a defense position as Tas crept toward the woods to get a better look.

Nothing could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him a mere hundred yards into the thick. A large metal structure, which looked very similar to a gnomish flying machine to Tas, was sitting in a clearing. Steam was ejecting from several openings, and without warning, a doorway opened and a ramp descended to the ground.

Tasslehoff Burrfoot, in one of the few moments of his life, was speechless.

* * * *

"Captain, I have a life reading nearby!"

Br'in Krow turned to Ang at her console. He responded smoothly, with a hint of disappointment. "I thought we had charted a course to land away from any life forms."

Her Twi'lek tail twitched. "We did, sir. We had a clean reading up until just a moment ago. It just appeared there."

Jacen Solo was grim. "We don't want to spook the natives. With no technology, we'll appear as aliens or gods to them. Is this the only instance of life in this area, Ang?"

"Yes, sir, aside from vegetation, the nearest settlement is thirty kilometers away, and the nearest life form, twenty."

Jacen nodded. He glanced at the Captain and made up his mind. "It knows we're here, we might as well try to talk to it. I think E-3PO is in the hold." Jacen summoned the protocol droid on his comlink.

A human crewmember by the name of Thalon interrupted him. "I think he's shut down. I can go switch him on and bring him up here if you want." The droid was an updated model of the 3PO series of protocol droids, not as prissy as the C series, but more stable than the D series. Although most of the worlds they came across in the Unknown Regions were unsettled, Jacen had decided to bring him.

"No, let him charge up his batteries. We can wake him up if we need him." Jacen remembered the stories his father and Uncle Luke had told him about Endor. He didn't wish to introduce a droid to the local population unless it was necessary.

Four of the crew walked carefully down the ramp, following Jacen's lead. Jacen noticed a small face peering at them from the brush at the edge of the clearing. Reaching out with the Force, he tried to get a sense of the creature's intentions, but had no luck. He could get a feel something, but it seemed to be a dampened impression. Jacen spread his arms to stop the group, and took two steps forward.

From the thicket, Tasslehoff held his hoopak at the ready, and wished briefly that he had a flight of dragons to back him up. Not that Tas was frightened; he just figured that four beings from a strange metal box might be a little more than he could handle alone. There were three humans, and though Tas took that as a good sign, the giant furball with them was a little disconcerting. He looked rather like a humanish version of the woolly mammoth that Tas had seen on one of his other run-ins with a wizard.

The humans were dressed strangely to Tasslehoff's well-traveled eye. They didn't have a style that he'd seen in any cities he'd ever been to. And the furball creature didn't seem to wear any clothes at all! The realization made Tas giggle, despite himself.

Jacen heard the giggle and decided that the creature was not dangerous. To him, the sound was oddly refreshing, like the laughter of a child who accidentally opened the refresher door when his sister was bathing. He raised a gloved hand in greeting and smiled as the little man slowly began to walk toward them.

Tasslehoff, being a kender, could not stop his legs from taking him toward the strangers. Legs, he chided them, these could be very dangerous people! You just stop walking this instant! They wouldn't stop, and moments later, he was standing at the bottom of the ramp. "Um, hello."

The crew was astonished. "You speak Basic!" said Jacen.

"You speak Common!" said Tas.

* * * *

"—and that's how I came to be on the road to Flotsam," Tas finished. The crew of the Explorer IV stared at him unabashedly. "Uh, what?"

Jacen had led the little man who called himself a 'kender' aboard the ship. They were seated now in the crew's recreation room, small perhaps, but lushly decorated for a scout ship. Tasslehoff, as he had introduced himself, busied himself with exploring the room as he talked. It was only when Tas had 'accidentally' ended up with Jacen's lightsaber in one of his pouches that Jacen had insisted that he sit down and not touch anything.

"In all my years traveling the galaxy, I've never met someone like you before," said Captain Krow. "Do all kender talk so much?"

"No, not really. I mean, sometimes we're asleep, and other times we're eating or drinking something—have you ever tried to talk with a mouthful of spiced potatoes?" Tas giggled. "It's rather funny, but my mother always said it was rude."

"You are quite an extraordinary little man," said Jacen.

"Thanks, I think," replied Tasslehoff. "I'm still confused though. You said before that you came out of the sky, but how did you do it? How did you breathe up there?"

Chubbakkuh grunted and growled in his guttural Wookiee language and Tas got the sense that he was laughing. "What's so funny, you great furball?" Tas asked pointedly. The wookiee glared down at him, from three times Tasslehoff's height, and Tas was sure that he'd gone too far. He was going to be fed to the furball; he just knew it. While that didn't bother Tas too much (it would be interesting), he was too curious about these people to be on the furball's menu right now.

"Uh, ha—ha," Tas stammered. "It was a little funny I guess." He looked to Jacen for support. "He's not going to eat me is he?" he asked in a whisper. The wookiee pilot heard him and began laughing harder this time.

Jacen put his hand on the guffawing wookiee's arm to quiet him down, smiling as he did. "No, Chubby isn't going to eat you. He's very friendly, and very intelligent. We don't actually fly around in space quite the way you're thinking, you see, this ship has air in it, and we fly inside the ship. We can fly to different planets, moons, stars, you name it." It was the simplest way Jacen could think to explain the theory of space travel.

"Wow, that's incredible," said Tasslehoff. "I've left the ground a few times myself," he said proudly. "I've flown on the backs of dragons, and one time I flew a giant flying citadel around Palanthas. Have I told you that story yet? It was during the war—"

"Actually, you have told us that one," Jacen said. "Right after you introduced yourself as a Hero of the Lance. I must say, we were lucky to run into a genuine hero of this planet first time out." He barely concealed a small smile as he complimented Tas. Jacen knew he should be more open-minded about the situation, after all, he'd been introduced to hundreds of species of life on both his travels with the Jedi Knights and his up bringing on Coruscant. It was just that this little fellow was so endearing! His child-like innocence and diminutive frame made Jacen rather fond of him.

For the next hour, Tasslehoff traded stories with the space-travelers. Before long, Jacen was sure of one thing: either this was the most fantastic, outrageous planet he'd ever encountered, or the kender was very good at telling some tall stories. Through all of it though, Jacen's feeling of the Force still troubled him. When Tas (he had insisted they all call him Tas) mentioned the wizards and magic-users of the planet, Jacen thought he might have stumbled onto something.

He had no trouble with the stories of dragons, gods, and war—these were concepts that were common to many primitive civilizations. Even the universal concept of magic was usually due to a culture's lack of science and technology to explain strange happenings. He felt that this was different though. He felt that it might have something to do with the strange feeling in the Force that he had been experiencing.

"Wait, Tas, back up. What you just said about the evil wizard and the, umm, woolly mammoth? I'm curious about the magic on this world. Are you sure these wizards aren't just taking advantage," Jacen tried not to sound insulting, "of the people's limited knowledge of certain things?"

"Like what?"

Jacen fumbled. As traveled as he was, he'd never actually had the chance to talk with an actual representative of a primitive culture. "Well, like the weather for instance."

"Oh, no, we know all about weather. The wizards don't have anything to do with the weather. They do real magic! One time, a wizard, Par-Salian, sent me back in time. He was a wizard of the white robes, a really nice guy. He was a little mad at me, but I don't think he is anymore," Tas frowned. His face brightened. "We could go ask him! This flying ship can fly right over Wayreth Forest! If we can find it."

* * * *

The troop outside gathered their arms and prepared for battle. Swords were drawn, arrows were set to bowstrings, and dull armor adorned the thirty bodies that waited for the command to attack. Never had the troop seen so much steel in one place. When the scout had returned to his commander, plans were immediately drawn up to attack it. Many warriors grumbled about dinner being interrupted.

* * * *

Inside, Tas was telling his story about a great castle atop a glacier and how he single-handedly (okay, maybe he had a little help) defeated a Dragon Highlord. Suddenly, he heard a familiar sound. It sounded like rain beating against metal… like… arrows against a metal shield. Arrows! "Someone's attacking us," Tas said calmly.

"Attacking!" Captain Krow, who was lost in the conversation between the Jedi and the kender, responded quickly to something he knew something about: a threat to his ship. "Nearest life forms twenty kilometers away Ang?"

Ang's jaw dropped. "There must be something in the atmosphere that's interfering with the sensors," she said slowly.

Krow jerked his thumb toward a row of consoles. "Get to the sensor array and find me some targets, if you can." As he headed to the bridge he glanced back at the Jedi Knight. "It'll take us about ten minutes to prep for takeoff, Jacen. You'll have to hold them off so they don't damage anything."

Tas quietly made his way to a view port just outside the door of the recreation room. "Yick. Goblins," he said. "I hate these guys. They're ugly, and boy do they smell bad!"

Jacen came up behind Tas and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are they dangerous?" Tasslehoff giggled in the face of the danger. "Do you think that their swords will be able to cut through the skin of the ship?"

Smiling in response, Jacen said, "No, I suppose not. Perhaps after a while they could, depending on the weapons they've got."

"That's really the problem, though," said Tas. "The thing is, steel is a valuable commodity around here, and they won't stop until they get some of it. They'll go away for a while and come back with their families, friends (if goblins have friends), and anyone who's interested in taking all your steel."

Jacen didn't want to try to explain to Tasslehoff that the ship wasn't made of a material as weak as steel. If these 'goblins' couldn't tell the difference, the threat was still real. "How many are out there, you think?"

"Hmm, twenty five, thirty. Maybe more. Shouldn't be a problem!" Tas dashed off down the short corridor to the landing ramp. He slapped a big, red disk that he had seen one of the crew push when he was brought aboard. Apparently, anyone could use this type of magic, because the ramp started to lower for Tas.

From forty yards away, the door's opening momentarily surprised the goblin troop. Many of them started laughing when they saw that their prize was guarded by a kender! Behind the kender appeared a human male. The goblins stopped laughing, but still seemed confident. Not being terribly bright, and willing to attack anything as long as there was a promise of profit, the goblins charged.

Tasslehoff quickly leapt to the ground and fired two stones in rapid succession from his hoopak. Two goblins fell with large dents in their heads. Tas was gearing up for a third shot when he heard a sharp hiss from behind him. The goblins stopped in their tracks and even Tas halted in mid throw when he saw the fiery sword that Jacen wielded.

"You've got a magic sword!" Tas exclaimed gleefully. "How wonderful!" Jacen gave Tasslehoff a thin smile and walked slowly down the ramp toward the goblins, which were overcoming their momentary surprise. He made no move to attack; Jacen had no desire to kill these natives of the planet unless he had to.

He had to. Six of the green-skinned monsters attacked, each brandishing a wicked looking sword. Jacen not only blocked the thrust of each, but also cut each goblin's blade in two. The lightsaber made short work of the half-dozen creatures, which did not give up even after they were rendered weaponless. They tore at Jacen with their claws until he cut them down. Tasslehoff, he saw, managed to take down four more goblins with his hoopak sling. More and more goblins swarmed around Jacen, and he gathered the Force around him as he weaved though the crowd, lightsaber flashing.

From the back of the goblin ranks, Tas heard the spidery language of magic being spoken. "Jacen, they have a magic-user with them!" With that, Tas flung himself under the landing ramp.

Jacen was still doubtful of the 'magic' powers that the people on this planet claimed to have. He made no move to duck as Tasslehoff had. The chanting stopped, and Jacen found himself encased in a sticky web. He was unable to move, but the web was incomplete, as it melted from the lightsaber blade. Arrows flew, and even tangled as he was, Jacen was able to deflect them in mid-flight. Being used to blaster fire, the arrows seemed to move in slow motion to the Jedi. Tasslehoff spotted the wizard as he peeked around the landing ramp, and let loose with a fair sized stone from his hoopak sling. The rock found its target. Knocked unconscious, the magic-user's spell dissolved and freed Jacen.

With their leader down and a most of their troop dead, the remaining goblins fled into the woods.

* * * *

"I promise, Tanis! That's exactly what happened! After the goblins left, the ship started flying, and they brought me back to Solace!"

Tanis Half-Elven looked across the table at his little friend, his almond-shaped eyes glittering. "Really, Tas? I'm not saying you're lying, but aliens? Come now, everyone knows that Krynn is the center of the universe. The true gods created us. I've never heard of a creature like this, er, furball, that you described."

Tasslehoff hefted a mug of Otik's ale to his lips, took a small sip, and set it back down defiantly. "I tell you, Tanis, it's Paladine's honest truth! Jacen had a flaming sword, and they were from another planet, and, and, oh never mind."

Tanis smiled at the kender. "Don't worry, Tas, I believe you. Come, the next round of ale is on me."

* * * *

Back on the Explorer IV, a simple log entry was made into the ship's database, to be uploaded to the central system on Coruscant. It read: "Krynn, fourth planet of system 237D75C, Unknown Regions. Habitable, natives primitive. Surprisingly fluent in Basic. Planet bears further investigation. If observation teams should run across a member of a race known locally as 'kender', beware. They will talk your ears off with wild stories."