Fang was exhausted.
He was sat, looking out at the dark night sky that had settled around their cave like – well, Fang thought, there was no other way to describe it – a cage. The Flock were settling down inside, and he sat on the ledge that overhung a great valley below.
Max had left around half an hour ago; she had taken to going for single flights in the evenings, and it was in these brief periods Fang would be left in control of the flock. He sighed, shutting out all the noise of hid surroundings and letting himself simply sit. He half-wished he would see Max's winged figure, flying with such grace and dignity that it took his breath away, before him, but he was disappointed.
Someone sat beside him – Nudge. She smiled at him, but he didn't return her grin; he simply inclined his head, too tired to mutter worthless words, and looked back out to the night sky. He heard Nudge's sigh.
There was a silence – a bizarre occurrence when Nudge was around. Fang's eyes followed every line of cloud, every bird that flew past, every movement below – memorizing distances and estimating the time it would take to cross the valley.
"Fang," Nudge said after a while, a little awkwardly, "Are you okay?"
Fang was surprised by the question. It wasn't often he heard this question directed at him. He was the unmoving, strong member of the flock; he kept silent, in his own little bubble of serenity - not one to have opinions or feel emotions. Only Max knew that wasn't true, but it was a matter they never spoke of. He and Max had come to a sort of silent agreement to accept each other's flaws, but not share them with anyone but each other.
"I'm fine."
Nudge sighed again, and she said, a little quieter, "I don't think you are."
Fang recoiled at her comment and turned to her, "What?"
Nudge's eyes widened and she pressed her hand to her mouth. He got the feeling she hadn't meant to let that slip. She shook her head. "Nothing."
"No, seriously. What?"
Nudge bit her lip and toyed with the question a while. She seemed to decide and began swinging her legs over the edge.
"It's just…"Nudge said quickly, "That whenever you say you're fine, or whatever, you aren't. Like when Ari sliced you up, and you said you were fine to Max and you were, like….dying. And then when…Ari sliced you up that first time and you said you were cool, and you were really hurt…"
Fang watched her closely.
"And I think – well, the flock think – that you're not okay, and we're worried about you, because we know you never speak or anything, but you've got that look on your face, y'know?" Nudge said, now looking straight at him. Swing, swing, swing went her legs. "And we wanted to know what was up, because you scare us when you look like that. So you're scaring me loads, and you lied to me, which was mean."
Fang was stung at her words. He didn't show it – he never showed it – but Nudge's little speech had felt like a stab in the stomach. He stood up and swallowed his emotions. Just forget it, Fang, he told himself, don't show your emotion. Keep it cool -
"See?" said a voice, and Angel came up towards them. She'd plaited her hair, and she was clutching Celeste. "And now you've just told yourself to not show emotion. Why do you do that, Fang?"
Fang tried not to look at them. He brushed his hands on his jeans, and tried to ignore the fact that their words were hollowing his insides with such force they ached.
"Yeah," Gazzy piped up, joining them out on the side of the cave, "Fang, it sucks when you do that."
Angel nodded. "We really hate it when you don't tell us anything and you keep quiet all the time."
Fang swallowed hard and tried to keep his voice as even as possible, although his emotions were running wild throughout him, "That's Max's job," he said shortly, "She does the talking."
There was a pause, and Iggy slouched out, a thoughtful look on his face.
"Maybe that's why Max is leader," Iggy said. The words rang around them. Fang thought it would have hurt more to be pushed off the cliff all together.
"Yeah!" Nudge nodded earnestly, "Because she tells us what she's thinking about and she doesn't lie."
I could name a thousand times when Max hasn't told them what she's thinking about, Fang thought bitterly. Angel raised her eyebrows and he mentally kicked himself. Oh, the woe of having a mind reading six year old in the vicinity – but luckily Angel kept quiet.
"And you all think this?" he asked, looking around at them all. They each nodded. Fang swallowed once more, not really knowing what to say.
Nudge, who was still sat down on the edge of the cliff, took his hand. "Don't think we don't love you anymore, Fang," she said concernedly, "Because we do. Lots and lots. But we just wish you'd talk to us more. And tell us how you feel. Because that's what families are for, right?"
The nodding epidemic struck again. Fang blushed as he noticed all eyes on him – a feeling he wasn't really used to. He nodded as well, and when he spoke, he addressed all of them.
"Sorry guys," he said quietly, "I didn't mean to – to upset you. But it's just…what I do. You ask if I'm ok, and I say I'm fine. It's easier than saying every other thing that's going through my mind, y'know?"
"We know," Gazzy said, scuffing his shoes on the ground. "But we just wish you'd trust us a bit more. We can keep secrets. Right, guys?"
"Deffo." Iggy said, and his eyes met Fang's, though he couldn't have known. "Trust us, man. We're here for you."
Fang managed a smile. "Thanks. And I'm sorry. But not as sorry as we're going to have to be if Max gets back and finds you lot aren't in bed yet."
They smiled, and with a 'goodnight' each they slouched inside. Fang watched them walk, and then took one final look at the night sky, the night's events flickering through his mind. Emotion that had coursed with such ferocity through him minutes before began to fade to tranquillity once more.
He felt someone take his hand, and turned to see Angel smiling up at him. He smiled back, squeezing her hand gently.
She looked at him, and her words rang in his head.
Love you, Fang.
Fang's eyes began to sting as tears appeared there. Angel blinked up at him – he didn't think she'd ever seen him cry, ever. It was most out of character.
"Love you too, sweetie." He said out loud, and Angel blinked back her own tears as he did so. She hugged his waist, and he hugged her back, a tear escaping down his face – a face that hadn't felt a tear on for years; and a tear that was most welcome to find itself there.