Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to Cassandra Clare. I'm just borrowing them.
A/N: I just thought Jem & Tessa deserved the perfect wedding night. Will is not mentioned in this story. Jem deserves a bride that isn't thinking about some other guy.
I'm Yours
Tessa sat waiting on the four-poster bed, wringing her hands together while nerves raged through her. She was waiting for her husband, Jem Carstairs. They had been married earlier that day while everyone they loved and cared for had watched with smiles. Afterwards, there had been a dinner and dancing. But now, Tessa sat alone in the bedroom that she would share with Jem from this night on, waiting.
She knew what was to come, their wedding night. When they would consumate their marriage. And the wait was killing her. She had no idea what she was supossed to do. Should she stand by the door and wait? Should she lie in the bed? Her precious books had given her no clues as to what was expected from her. They had never failed her before this moment.
She settled for sitting on the edge of the bed facing the door. She had taken her robe off and it lay draped across the back of one of the chairs by the fireplace. Afterall, Jem had seen her in only her nightgown once before. It should have been no big deal. But then why were her palms sweaty and her heart racing?
There was a quiet knock at the door and Tessa jumped up off the bed. She quickly brushed her hair over her shoulder and pinched her cheeks to give them some color. The door opened slowly and Jem stepped into the room. As soon as he spotted Tessa, he smiled one of those smiles that she loved and her nerves disappeared. This was her husband. This was Jem. There was nothing to be nervous about.
Jem closed the door gently behind him and took a step towards Tessa. He was keeping his distance, letting her come to him. As they stood there, staring at each other, Tessa was struck once again by his beauty. He was wearing a white cotton shirt, and dark green cotton pants. The dark green material of his pants went perfectly with his pale skin and silver hair and eyes.
Tessa suddenly couldn't stand the distance between them. She needed Jem to hold her. As if he could read her mind, Jem opened his arms for her and she practically ran to him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face in his chest, breathing in the smell of him. Standing this close to him Tessa could smell the sweetness of the drug that both kept Jem alive and killed him at the same time. She wondered how much of the yin fen he had taken in preparation for what was to come and the thought made her stomach flutter with nerves. She dropped her amrs and took a step back, away from Jem. She was suddenly feeling self-conscious.
Jem brushed his fingers against Tessa's rosy cheek. "How are you, Mrs. Carstairs?" The way he said her name, the wonder and joy evident in his voice, made Tessa's heart swell. If this was the only good thing she did with her life, bringing happiness to Jem, then that was enough for her. His happiness meant everything.
Tessa wrapped her arms back around Jem's waist and closed her eyes. "I'm fine, Mr. Carstairs? How are you?" She smiled at how formal they were being with each other even though, just a few hours before, they had been joined as husband and wife.
"Never better", he replied. Tessa opened her eyes and looked at Jem and it was true. She had never seen him look better, or healthier. There was a feverish light to his eyes and his normally pale cheeks were blushed with color. His silver hair, still slightly damp from the bath he had taken earlier, hung over his ears and into his eyes. She reached up a hand to brush the strands away and marveled at how soft they felt. Jem closed his eyes and leaned into her hand.
Tessa stratched up on her tiptoes and kissed Jem lightly on the lips. But it wasn't enough. She kissed him again, and again, and again. Each kiss deeper than the one before. Soon they were both breathing heavily & their hearts were racing. Jem skimmed his nose along Tessa's jawline. "Tessa, my Tessa.", he breathed. A shiver of pleasure ran through Tessa's body.
Jem took a step back and looked at Tessa with a playful smile. "Sure you don't want to change your mind?"
"It's a bit late for that, isn't it? You should've asked me that this morning." Tessa replied with a laugh.
Jem was staring at his feet. "There's still time though, to change your mind. I'm sure everyone would understand." He was still smiling, but the playfulness had left his eyes. He was really serious, he was giving Tessa a chance to change her mind and leave him.
"Jem," Tessa put her hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at her. "you are my husband. I'm your wife now. We're stuck with each other whether you like it or not." She laughed to let him know she was joking.
"Stuck? Is that how you see it?" Jem asked with a crooked smile.
"I love you, Jem, with my whole being. I'm yours. Forever."
Jem's eyes were fire, and Tessa was burning. They were suddenly wrapped in each other's arms and every kiss was like water to a dying man. Jem had his hands on Tessa's hips, pulling her closer until they were flush with each other. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged it up and over his head. Her hands explored his body and she could feel him trembling under her touch.
They somehow made it to the bed, with Jem on top of Tessa. She wrapped her legs around his and pulled him as close as she could get him, but she wanted him closer. Tessa broke the kiss and stared up into her husband eyes, they were clouded with desire. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fiercly.
"I love you," she whispered against his lips.
"I love you, too, Tessa. More than you could ever know. I will love you for the rest of my life. And I'll love you in my next life," he kissed her cheek, "and the one after that," he kissed the corner of her mouth, "and the one after that." He finally brought his lips back to hers and they were wrapped so closely it was as if they were one person.
Tessa turned over gently so as not to wake Jem and propped herself up on her elbow. The sun was shining, a rare occasion in London, and the sunshine streaming through the windows gave his normally pale skin a golden glow and even his silver hair had a golden sheen to it. She had always thought Jem was beautiful, but Tessa had never known real beauty until this moment. His lips were slightly parted and she reached out to trace them with her finger. His breaths, slow and steady, tickled her fingers.
Tessa laid her head down on his chest and listened to the beating of his heart. She didn't think she had ever heard a more wonderful sound. As long as his heart continued to beat, so would hers. When he was gone, he would take her heart with him. She knew their days together were numbered, but she would be grateful for every day that she got to wake up next to him.
She was suprised at the direction her thoughts had gone. She was married now, she should be basking in her happiness, not dwelling on Jem's ineivitable death. No, not ineivitable. They could still find a cure. They would find a cure. They had to. Now that he was hers, Tessa never wanted to give him up.
Tessa kissed Jem on the cheek and he woke up with a slightly confused look on his face. When he saw Tessa staring up at him he smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Well, good morning." He nuzzled his face into her neck and pulled her closer. "I was sure last night was a dream and that when I woke up I'd be alone, in my bedroom back at the institute. Or that maybe you'd finally changed your mind."
Tessa rolled until she was on top of him. Her hair fell around them like a curtain and Jem tucked it back behind her ear. His hand came to a rest on her cheek and he stroked it gently with his thumb.
"You shouldn't worry about that." She leaned down until their lips were almost touching. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours, Jem Carstairs."
"And I'm yours, Tessa Carstairs."
