What I'm Made Of I
always thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life, being unwanted and unloved as any foster kid could feel as I bounced around from foster home to foster home for as long as I could remember and that's about since I was about three years old. I don't remember much about my mom, just that she couldn't take care of me so the state decided to remove me from her care and as for my dad, I just know that he wasn't around leading me to go from one foster home to another as I never stayed in one place for too long. Either the foster parent at the time that I was staying with had too many kids at the time or they wanted someone that wasn't as much of a hassle as I was but that was putting it lightly because the real reason why they didn't want me was cause I'm a freak, meaning that I wasn't normal so they sent me back to the adoption agency for my social worker to try yet again to find another family to put me with.
You see I was born different from normal girls as I have a penis between my legs and it grosses people off and they don't want to explain me to other people so instead of loving me for the way that I am, send me back feeling more unloved and unwanted than I already do. By the time I turned twelve, I had already given up on finding a family to love me because it's a dream that I had that I will never have but my social worker Holly Holiday was optimistic on finding me the right family, encouraging me not to give up and have faith in her. I want to believe that there's somewhere out a place that I belong but after so many rejections and being sent back, I don't know much more I can rely on faith on getting a family but after the four rejection I gotten that year it seems that Holly was right as she found me a another family to stay with: The Lopez. Carlos and Maribel seem like nice people giving me hugs and all the love that I didn't know what to do with as the husband's a Captain in the arm and the wife's the head nurse at a local hospital with a daughter who's two years older than me who was really intimidating when I first met her.
Santana carried herself with this confidence and the girl is ridiculously beautiful that I thought that she was going to make my life miserable but she was actually really sweet and welcoming which threw me for a loop as she helped me move my stuff into my room. I sat in my new room for awhile sitting on my bed, just thinking that the worst scenarios about my new family finding out about me being an intersex and not wanting anything to do with me before sending me back to the agency like all my other foster families in the past as it didn't matter if I find to be less of a burden on them or not. I know that I shouldn't be thinking like this but I can't help as it always happens one way or another no matter what I do when I nearly jumped out of my thoughts by someone knocking on the open door of my room, looking up to see that it's Mrs. Lopez with a plate of chocolate chip cookies and a warm smile on her face as she walks into the room then taking a sudden interest in the green comforter.
"Marley"
I heard her say my name but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to look although she didn't give me a choice when she lifted my chin as I looked into her warm brown eyes before placing a kiss on my forehead and I couldn't help the warmth I felt spreading through my chest. I could feel the love through the simple display of affection as I nearly received any kind of affection growing in foster care but most of the families that I've lived with preferred to pretend that I don't exist for the amount of time that I'd stayed with them.
"I can't imagine what you've gone through the last couple of years but just know that no matter what that you're welcomed and wanted here. It's gonna take some time to adjust but I know that you're meant to be with us and this is a family that sticks together through the hard times and the good times" Mrs. Lopez said smiling.
"I don't know. There's something that you don't know about me that might make you reconsider about keeping me" I said looking away.
"Marley, you're a part of this family if you want to be but there's nothing in this world would make us reconsider keeping. If this is about your condition then me and Carlos already know about it"
"W-What? Y-You know" I asked shocked.
"Ms. Holiday was very thorough she was looking for a family and wanted to make sure that there was a possibility that this could something would last more than a few months. Carlos and I don't care that you're different because it doesn't change the fact that you're sweet girl that's been dealt an unlucky hand in life. We want to be the family that you deserve and we want you to be a part of it" Maribel said taking my face in her hands.
That night changed my life forever and I have finally found a family that I could call me own as I have ever been happier in my short twelve years finding out the reason why the Lopez family was so okay with my condition. It turns out that I wasn't the only one being an intersex in the family as Santana was an intersex as well but she's more comfortable with it than I am although she did say that it would take time for me to come into my own and that she would help with anything that I need. I never felt more loved and accepted than I did with this… my family and by my thirteen birthday, I was officially a Lopez and it feels amazing to be a part of family as it was something that I longed but always thought it was unobtainable. For two years, Santana and me have just like sister… well we are sisters now and she's taken me under her wing, showing me how to apply makeup and dress more like a girl while being able to hide our appendages from the public even though most of the school knows that she's a intersex.
She's my best friend and that's not saying for much since I don't really have friends but it doesn't matter because as long as I have my sister by side then nothing else matter, unfortunately high school was a bitch. I had to deal with stress of classes, trying to fit in, making friends but I did make friends in the form of Unique, Jake and Ryder would helped to build up confidence although there was someone who has taken pleasure in destroying it and her name is Kitty Wilde. I don't know why the cheerleader hates me so much as I never done anything to her but she takes every opportunity to say something hurtful and mean or just throw a slushy in my face but it doesn't sit well with my overprotective sister who defends me even though it goes against her badass reputation that has in place. The raven haired cheerleader is co-captain of the Cheerios who run the school along with Quinn Fabray and I try to stay of the blonde cheerleader's way as much as possible since I'm not very popular after joining the Glee club which isn't the most popular club in school but I like it because I get to sing and it's plus that I get to do with my friends.
Rachel Berry who's the Glee club's captain is an amazing singer but she tends to be really bossy and demanding although she's defended me to Kitty multiple times and I knew that she's not as bad as others make her out to be. I can tell that she has a things for my sister as I found staring at the cheerleader when she's not looking and I tried to convince Santana to join Glee club because I know that she has a amazing voice and we need more people to join. It wasn't hard to get my sister to join and she even convince Brittany and Quinn to join but unfortunately Kitty joined as well since she idolizes the blonde co-captain and I think she has a crush on Jake. Jake Puckerman is a cool guy and amazing dancer/singer as I can see why the blonde cheerleader is into him but he's brushed all of her advance on multiple occasions saying that he couldn't be with someone that treats others so horribly and I knew that he rebuffed her because of me.
He's a good friend and it's easy to talk to him but his loyalty to me didn't sit to well with Kitty and I knew that she would try to get back at me for it but I wasn't expecting her to go out of her way to be nice to me and she was for the better of the school year but I couldn't but think that it was an elaborate ploy to get her revenge. My friends have told me that it's a bad idea to befriend the cheerleader because she's a manipulative, deceiving, backstabbing bitch but call me a fool as I want to believe people can change even someone like Kitty and deserves a second chance which I'm willing to provide although I'm not a complete sucker. I was a little wary that she would revert back to her old habits when my back was turn so I didn't tell her anything to personal incase she would use it against me later but over the course of a year and a half, she's proven herself to be a good person and capable of being nice to others although Santana has told me on more than one occasion to be careful around the cheerleader.
As I lay on my bed, looking up at the ceiling thinking about how beautiful Kitty is and find myself falling more and more in love with the girl that tormented me when we first met but she's changed for the better as I like the person underneath the mean girl/bitchy façade that she shows to the rest of the school. I asked her why she's so mean to other and she's says that if she doesn't spread her venom that she'll get back up which I have a hard time believing as she calls me naive dolt, rolling her eyes at me then I'm pulled out of my thoughts by something hitting my window. I hop off of my bed to raise the window to see on the cheerleader sitting on my window ledge with her legs crossed sexily, wearing a light pink tube top and black leggings with her blonde hair in loose curls. I swallow thickly as Kitty swings her legs over the ledge, placing on the floor then pushing herself upright only to nearly falling over if I hadn't caught her as she giggles then looking up at me when I realize that she's completely drunk as I could smell the alcohol on her breath.
"Hi Marley" Kitty slurs.
"Kitty, what are you doing here? You're drunk"
"I wanted to see you" Kitty said nuzzling her face into my chest. "You smell so good"
"Okay, come on lets get to bed so you can sleep this off" I said picking her up bridal style.
It wasn't hard carrying Kitty as she was pretty light before setting her down on my bed as she flops back unceremoniously with me rummaging through my dresser for something to wear. I quickly found an oversized t-shirt and shorts before handing them to her as she looks up at me questioningly then grabbing the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head as I turned around to give her some sort of privacy and I don't know if I'll be able to handle seeing the cheerleader in her underwear.
"You can turn around, I'm dressed" Kitty giggles.
True to her words, Kitty was dressed and under the covers, plopped up on her elbows as I fidget under her glaze when I feel my heart speed up when she curls her finger in a 'come hither' motion. I shake my head and when I denied her, the cheerleader grabs me by the collar of my shirt pulling on it as I fall onto the bed spastically as she giggles at me, glaring at me for making me feel like a idiot as it's a common occurrence with her and she seems to pick up on this. Kitty takes my face in her hands, running her thumbs back and forth along my cheekbones looking into my eyes with this unreadable expression and before I knew what was going on, I feel a pair of pressing against mine lightly. I wasn't expecting this but I often wondered what it would be like to kiss these pouty lips and it's everything that I've imagine and more although I don't know what to make of this as the cheerleader never made any indication that she was into girls. I pulled back to look into those beautiful green eyes to see a bunch of swirling emotion behind them, leaving to wonder what's going on with her.
"Kitty, what's wrong?"
"I-I…. I really don't know myself. It's so much going and I don't know what's going on with me" Kitty said hiccupping.
"Is it school? The Cheerios? The club? Is that why you showed up here wasted?" I asked trying to figure what's going on.
"N-No, it's my parents mostly my Mom. She's putting so much pressure on me to be the best. In school, in cheerleading and I just don't know how to handle it. It's just becoming to much and I thought that I could forget get about for awhile at Puck's party. It helped but I don't know what I'm doing. I-I should go" Kitty said trying to get up.
I knew that I shouldn't let Kitty leave and there's no way that I was letting her go home late at night, wrapping my arms around her waist and holding her close until she finally stopped fighting me. The cheerleader looked at me with this tired look in her eyes and I could see the dark circled under them, holding her closer if possible and it wasn't long before I heard light snoring from the now sleeping girl in my arms. I have to protect her in any way that I could but for now, I'm making sure that she's sleeps off the alcohol she consumed. I promise you Kitty that I'm going to be there for you because I… because I love you.
I woke up and walked over towards Marley's room to check on her only find her holding that bratty girl Kitty that's always giving my little sis a hard in her arms and it takes everything in me not to go in there and yell at her. I know how the song-writer likes the bitch and always defending her, saying that she's changed but I don't believe it and that she hasn't change although that she hasn't done anything evil… yet but it's only a matter of time before she returns to her bitchy ways as I walked back to my room to find my girl, plopped up against the headboard with the blankets pooling around her lap. I licked my lips to see that she's still naked underneath the cover as she stretches her arms over her head with my not-so-little friend stirring to life before hopping onto the bed for another round of heavy making-out and sex with my very smoking hot Glee club girlfriend.
~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off
The End