A/N: Disclaimers: I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, nor do I receive any monetary recompense for my writing. I just write for enjoyment.

TRIGGER WARNING: Graphic depictions/descriptions of bulimia.

This is actually rather difficult for me to write, I've been pulling from my own past experiences/memories to add to the plot. I wish someone had done this for me. I will add more tags as I write the story. Expect smut at some point. Please comment/message if you enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Faces Like Mine

He wasn't sure what had started it, exactly. It could have been the rejection he suffered at the hands of the beautiful Lydia Martin, could have been the ten pounds he had put on recently, or it could have been the snide comments Coach Finstock had been directing toward him; things like "move it, Bilinski, ya lard-ass!" and "you're never gonna get off the bench if you can't keep up with the rest of the team!". It could have been a combination of many things… a toxic concoction of self-loathing that had wormed its way down into his skull.

It all began simply enough… they were forced to watch a video in health class about eating disorders. Everyone seemed appalled by the tactics used by the young gymnast girls to lose weight, but not Stiles. Stiles thought to himself, 'that doesn't seem too difficult, it actually works? Not a bad idea, really.'

The monster started off as just a tiny thing, Stiles would only purge if he had eaten something 'bad', like on pizza nights with Scott. He would make sure he drank lots of water and soda, then he would sneak off to the bathroom while Scott was engrossed in whatever game they were playing or movie they were watching. There, he would jam two fingers down his throat. He would empty the contents of his stomach and feel so relieved afterward that he hadn't actually consumed the copious amounts of calories… that he wouldn't have to suffer through that pain of regret that follows eating anything fattening.

Stiles lost 6lbs within the first two weeks. 'I guess this is a pretty good indication that I eat too much junk food' he thought, but he wanted to lose more weight. He started purging more frequently. He would gulp down a huge bowl of cereal in the morning before school, and throw half of it up before he left. He would eat a small lunch and a snack when he got home, and he would always do so well until later in the evening when the hunger hit him like a freight train. It was at that time most nights that he would stuff his face with anything that was around. It wasn't really any surprise to his father, since he was used to seeing Stiles much out, and he wasn't home much to witness it anyway. Afterward, he would bolt to the bathroom to bring it all back up. He lost more weight.

A month in he had dropped from 157 to 144 pounds, which was smaller than he had been before he put on the weight to begin with. He stood one morning, looking in the mirror before school. He pinched at his stomach disgustedly and fought back tears of frustration. 'I wish I could get rid of this, I want to look even better. Maybe if I lose more weight Lydia will notice me.' And subconsciously, maybe his father would pay more attention to him, maybe he'd play lacrosse better, and maybe he would be less of a helpless turd whenever Scott's werewolf problems had him running for his life. He fought back tears of frustration; he'd hit a plateau and hadn't lost any weight in the past 5 days. He had even been going to Scott's house regularly for workouts, since the guy had a full-on gym downstairs full of equipment. Scott was delighted of course, to be helping Stiles 'lean up and build muscle', as Stiles had so eloquently put it. He didn't tell Scott he wanted to lose weight. 'What do I do? I'm already practically starving myself, and I barely have the energy to exercise anymore. I've been pushing so hard… this is impossible. It's not like I could get my hands on coke or speed like some of those girls in the video. They're too expensive, and they're dangerous.' He wasn't sure what freaked him out more – the fact that he had actually considered drugs or the fact that he was more offput by the price than the health risks.

After school he went to the mall alone, stopping into the little health and fitness shop he had passed so many times before. He asked them for their strongest fat burning supplement, and didn't think twice when the sales clerk gave him a confused and concerned look. 'Take two pills a day with food. Drink a glass of water before taking. Okay, I got this. I don't know about the food but I can definitely drink a glass of water no problem.'

The first day he took the fat burners was a struggle. They speed up a lot of the body's functions, and since he was already on a medication for his ADD he felt like he was being torn inside out. He was jittery, couldn't sit still, and he had a burning sensation in his chest. 'Maybe tomorrow will be easier.'

One week passed and he was down another 6 pounds. He was still throwing up, twice a day at least. He was beginning to develop terrible headaches from the pressure he was inflicting upon his head while purging. Stiles felt dazed, mentally foggy, like he couldn't concentrate on anything. His grades suffered. Also, it was as if he were bipolar all of the sudden. One minute he would be cheerful and happy bu the net he had his head in his hands and he was half asleep, ready to snap at anyone and everyone.

"I see the working out is really paying off, man. You're looking a little too gaunt, though. Maybe you should take it easy, dial the cardio back a little bit. Didn't you say you wanted 'super crazy muscles of doom' like Derek's?"

Stiles blushed at the reminder of that awkward comparison. He had been trying to shroud his attraction for a certain broody alpha werewolf for quite some time and seemed to be failing miserably. 'I guess I need to watch what I say around Scott.'

"Hey – Allison, Danny, Jackson, Lydia, and I are going to check out that new burger joint down the street – you should totally come with!" He started pulling Stiles along to their lockers to gather their belongings.

"Nah, Scott. I'm not really hungry to be honest."

"But you love curly fries! Come on, you don't have to be so strict with your diet all of the time, you have to treat yourself! You never know, they could be the best fries you've ever tasted!"

And Stiles went along… the guilt washed over him the moment he took the first bite of his fries, and then the overwhelming panic set in as he continued his feast. While everyone around him laughed and chatted he just sat there eyeing his now empty tray, before peeking around inconspicuously to see if there was a bathroom nearby. He spotted one and excused himself for a moment.

"Be right back guys, nature calls!" The unimpressed look he got from Lydia only made him scurry away faster.

Relief flooded him as he brought the food back up, choking a bit on a badly chewed piece of hamburger. He coughed loudly, a few tears welling up in his eyes. 'It wasn't this difficult before..' He clutched at his chest, which ached deeply in the center. Tightness cut across his upper torso; a pain he was unfamiliar with… it frightened him. He couldn't bring all of the food up and it made him so incredibly frustrated that he cried more, sobbing a bit between frantic attempts to gag himself. By the time he heard the clicking of her heels it was too late.

"Stiles? Stiles, are you in there?" Stiles sniffled in response, 'Damnit, my body has betrayed me.'

"Yeah…" he managed to croak out, unable to recognize his own voice.

"Can I come in please? Preferably before another guy comes in here and has a conniption because there's a girl in the men's room?"

"No! …I'm sick; you should go."

"Stiles… while your little friends might be borderline cretins, I, Lydia Martin, am no fool. Let me in the stall... now."

He reluctantly flushed the toilet, wiping the corners of his mouth with a tissue. He slunk dejectedly to the floor of the lavatory as he clicked the lock of the door. Lydia opened the door quickly and stepped inside, re-latching it behind her and crowding into the small space with him.

"Oh, sweetie… what have you done to yourself?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He glanced up at her, his eyes still glazed and red from the tears he had shed.

"Listen to me." She reached out and cupped the right side of his face with her hand, stroking his cheek with her thumb, "I'm a teenage girl; I know what it's like to be insecure about my body. You're a sweet guy, Stiles. Just because I'm in love with Jackson doesn't mean I don't think you're adorable and intelligent. You may act like an idiot most of the time, but I know better. I know it's just your ADD that makes you socially awkward, and it's not your fault. And this –"she gestured to the toilet, "is not something that you need to do in order to gain someone's affection. Just be yourself and somebody will fall for you, not your body – which is perfectly fine the way it is, by the way. Please Stiles, you need to stop this before you hurt yourself…"

"I can't do this, I can't do this right now, Lydia. Don't tell anyone… please. I'll quit, I promise."

The girl leaned in closer to wrap her arms around him for a hug. He retracted a bit, quickly shrinking out of her grasp afterward, before standing up and walking out. He passed the table where the others were sitting and walked straight out the door; unable to look any of them in the eye.

When he arrived home, Stiles popped three pills, angry that he hadn't been able to get all of the food up at the restaurant. He had an apple and hit up the internet for some cardio workouts he could do in his room.

When the Sherriff entered the house that night he found Stiles sprawled out on the couch, dressed only in shorts, sneakers, and a t-shirt. He was sleeping soundly but his breathing seemed a bit erratic. He made a mental note to ask the boy about it in the morning, but when he awoke Stiles had already left for school.

Song Credit: Emilie Autumn - Faces Like Mine