Rating: M (Quite a few innuendos ahead. Better safe than sorry, right?)
"Yeah, I'm not going to do that."
Sasuke sighed. "Don't be a baby, Sakura. Just put it in your mouth already. I don't have all day."
Sakura let out an incredulous laugh.
"Are you freaking kidding me? Just...look at that thing. Kami knows where it's been!"
Sasuke tried to bite down the retort at the tip of his tongue. Being a smart aleck at that point would hardly help move things along.
"Where do you think it could have been, idiot?"
Sakura shot him a nasty look.
"How do I know it won't get me infected or something?"
"Cause I thoroughly clean it. Every single time when I'm done," Sasuke grit out. "For kami's sake! The tip's practically shining!"
The slightest note of desperation had crept into his voice.
"Nope. Still not happening." Sakura was unrelenting. "I mean, I am supposed to put it in my mouth. Like, the one I use to eat with. Nuh-uh. There would be all sorts of nasty fluids sticking to it, no matter how much you cleaned it."
Sasuke slowly counted backwards from ten.
"So what am I supposed to do, exactly? Get a brand new one? So you could grace it with your stupid mouth even though there's a perfectly functional one right here?"
"Obviously." Sakura's voice ringed with resolve. "No way I'm going to put it in my mouth when I don't even know the kind of sick people it's been around. Isn't Naruto-baka your roommate? Can you honestly tell me that it's not been in his, you know, downstairs area? I can totally picture him doing that."
Sasuke finally lost it.
"I swear on my tomatoes, Sakura, if you don't put it in your mouth this fucking instant, I'll tie you up and do it myself. "
Everyone knew that shit was serious when Uchiha Sasuke began to swear on tomatoes.
Cheeks red with frustration, Sakura complied at last.
Sasuke sighed with relief when the thermometer read ninety eight point five.
P.S. Yup. Thermometers do read your body temperature when inserted in the rectum area. Read it in the instruction manual of a digital one I had ages ago. It's...yeah. Also, seems like I've become a certified pervert. Oh well.