The Doctor walked down the corridor to Kathryn's room, albeit a tad reluctantly. He had finally made up his mind on a topic that had been bothering him ever since she had pulled that stunt with the TARDIS while they were in 1774. Kathryn had flown her with no prior instruction, no supervision, and sent the TARDIS through a world of pain as a result, not to mention risking blowing a hole in spacetime. After much debate, he had finally reached his decision. It was probably going to be one of his worst, but he had made up his mind.

Now to tell her.

The Doctor knocked gently on her door. Receiving no answer, he cautiously opened it, expecting one of Kathryn's non-lethal defense mechanisms to come flying at him. Surprisingly, nothing did.

"Kathryn?" he called, pushing the door open the rest of the way. Her room looked the same as it usually did: fireplace blazing, candles lit, floor clean, pictures hanging, random weapons on the wall, bookshelf with novels, histories, science, sudoku, and language books filling it, and the bed made. The only odd thing was that the large pile of cushions and blankets by the fireplace was devoid of any living thing.

Strains of music reached the Doctor's ears, and he turned to find the source of the sound. One of the several doors in Kathryn's bedroom walls was open, and a very green smell came from it. Never one to pass up a mystery, the Doctor approached the door. The music grew louder and turned into off-key singing. He recognized the song, but not the voice.

Oooooooh

Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,

Lydia, the Tattooed Lady.

She has eyes that folks adore so,

And a torso even more so.

Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopidia,

Oh Lydia the Queen of Tattoo.

On her back is the Battle of Waterloo.

Beside it the wreck of the Hesperus, too.

And proudly above waves the Red, White, and Blue,

You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la, la la la. La la la, la la la.

The Doctor looked into the door to see a long corridor, with plants from across the galaxies growing next to each other. As he stepped in, Kathryn spun into view from an adjoining lane. She was wearing a yellow sun dress and her deep ginger hair was barely held back in a clip, both of which was unusual for her, as she believed dresses were bad luck and her hair was always in a bun. The crowning glory though, was the fact she was spinning around with a blue watering can in her right hand, and she was covered in writing, not all in one language or from earth. There seemed to be as many types of writing on her as there were plants around her, and from the same places too.

Kathryn stopped suddenly and snapped her head around to look at the Doctor. Her smile was slightly insane and her eyes were open a little too wide.

"Hello Doctor! How'd you get in?" She made a tsking sound. "Oh, I'll bet I forgot to load the pea-shooter. I'm always doing that."

"You have a pea-shooter set to fire at someone coming into your room?" The Doctor asked, his voice rising.

"Of course not! That's just what I call that little mauve thing by the door. Looks like a vine, but it shoots pellets made of salt that look a lot like dried peas at everyone except for the person who planted it. Only problem is that you have to keep giving it salt. Seriously, it eats salt like nobodies business." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, which promptly escaped. She swung the watering can in her hand, looking exactly like a five-year old helping her mother in the garden. Just a very tall five-year old with a nasty habit of uncontrollably sucking life-energy out of any person she touched. "What can I help you with?"

The Doctor cleared his throat and stepped towards her. "Well-"

"Stop! Don't move so much as a millimeter."

The Doctor froze, eyes darting about, trying to see what was wrong. All he saw were the plants. He looked back at Kathryn, who had set down the watering can and was slowly walking towards the Doctor. She still looked terrified.

"Okay, now I need you to back up very, very slowly," she said. "It senses movement, and it will probably be able to fit your entire head in its mouth."

"You have animals-!"

"Shh!" Kathryn admonished him. "Floyd is one of the most amazing things in here, but you have to be very respectful of him." Kathryn studied the Doctor, then looked at something next to him. "Scratch the first plan. When I say now, I need you to get out of the way as fast as you can. He's horrible at multitasking and can only focus on one thing at a time, but he's the fastest sucker this side of Antarus."

She walked closer towards him, keeping her eyes fixed on whatever was next to him. Slowly, she reached out her hand.

"Now!"

The Doctor jumped back as Kathryn darted her hand forward. He stumbled, then righted himself. When he looked at Kathryn again, she was in front of a large plant that looked like a closed bud on a long thick stem. The plant was as tall as she was, and had green splotches all over its red skin. Kathryn was standing in front of it, her hand on her hips.

"Now Floyd, I've told you before, do not eat the visitors. I said this when you first sprouted. I feed you often enough that you shouldn't have to eat anyone." The bud opened slightly, then closed. Her forehead wrinkled in a frown. "Don't give me that! You were getting ready to eat him, I saw you." The bud drooped, and Kathryn looked at it regretfully. "Oh, now don't be that way. I didn't mean to yell, but you have to stop acting this way. You've been trying to eat Hilda and Bartholomew for the past two days. If you don't stop, I'll put you in a pot. Now I mean it this time."

Kathryn turned to the Doctor, apologetic. "Sorry. Floyd has a huge appetite. It's hard to keep up with."

"What is that thing?"

"He isn't a thing. He's a member of the Refti strain, commonly called a Plaw. Kind of like a Venus fly-trap on major steroids, with the speed of a striking snake and the brains of a 4 year old. They'll eat literally anything. Well, besides coffee. I drink it all the time, but they hate the stuff. Must be a British plant."

The Doctor stared at Kathryn, wondering if he should pursue the comment. He decided against it and asked, "What is written all over you?"

"Instructions on how to take care of my plants and what they are. Different sections are on different appendages. Poisonous plants are on my right leg, antidotes are on the left, my left arm is edibles, and my right arm is full of healing things. My skirt is mostly the flowery stuff that you just look at, and my face and neck have the miscellaneous plants, like Floyd here." She turned around sharply, her back to the Doctor. Her tone was scolding. "Don't make me come down there Roderick! I heard what you were saying!"

"Kathryn," the Doctor said gently, now seriously worried about her mental health.

Kathryn whirled back around to face the Doctor. She now appeared strained. "Can we please go somewhere?"

"Pardon?"

"You've had TARDIS drifting in the nebula for the past week and a half. I am slowly going crazy having this level of inactivity. Please, I don't care where we go. It could even be earth. I don't care if we go the reign of Bloody Mary in England and act like Protestants. I have to go someplace."

"Ah, actually, I was coming to talk to you about that. Or what you did to TARDIS."

Kathryn's face fell. "Oh. Okay. You're still angry about that."

"Well, not really angry, just…."

"Upset. I understand." Kathryn nodded and gently set down the watering can. She stood up straight, her expression sober, hands folded in front of her. "I'll just…go get my things together."

"Kathryn-"

She held up a hand to stop him. "No, it's all right. I completely understand, Doctor. I made a stupid, risky move flying TARDIS, and as such I don't have the right to stay."

"Kathryn-"

"No, don't try to fluff it up. I thought something like this would happen." She swallowed, appearing as though she was trying hard not to cry.

"Kathryn!"

She finally looked at him. The Doctor seemed caught between humor and disbelief. "I'm not throwing you out. I'm going to start teaching you how to fly her."

Kathryn looked behind her and turned back to the Doctor. "Are you talking to someone else? You aren't talking to Ruby or Floyd or something."

The Doctor's smile grew a bit. "No, just you."

"You…are going to teach me…how to fly TARDIS?"

"Unless you'd rather not…"

She pointed a finger at him, the words written all over her making her look surprisingly stern. "Don't you dare back out now." Suspicion danced across Kathryn's face. "Why are you offering to teach me?"

"Two reasons. When you first agreed to join me, you only came after I promised I would teach you. The second and biggest answer is that if you try to do something as stupid as flying the TARDIS again, I don't want to hear her screaming when she lands."

Kathryn had the decency to look abashed, though only for a moment. She dashed past the Doctor, pausing at the door going into her room. "Give me fifteen minutes to get all this marker off me, and I'll join you in the console room." She disappeared from the Doctor's sight, though he could still hear her.

"Yes! Woohoo! This is great!"

The Doctor was glad Kathryn was so happy about it, but wondered briefly if human fathers felt the same way when teaching their daughters how to drive.

*Constructive critisisim welcome, praise happily accepted, flames not wanted*