Emily saw Hotch standing outside of his office looking at a case file, his brow furrowing in thought, she decided to go and talk to him, it usually helped him to have someone to bounce ideas off until he settled on a particular line of enquiry.
"Hey Hotch, you need any help?"
"No, I'm fine thanks." He didn't even look up from the file, he must be in one of his moods, she thought.
"If you're sure. Let me know if you need anything." She squeezed his arm before she walked away from him.
"I said I'm fine, I think I can handle doing my job by myself, I don't need you to hold my hand Prentiss." She could feel the anger in his voice.
"I didn't mean...I wasn't.." She was speechless. Why was he acting like this? What had she done wrong?
"You weren't what Prentiss? Shoving your nose in where it's not wanted? Why don't you just back off, I don't want you near me." The whole team had heard him and were now staring at him in shock, Dave had even come out of his office to see what was going on. Was he seriously saying all of this to Emily? He wasn't even looking at her while he said all of this.
"Em, come here." Dave said quietly to her, holding his hand out to her. She was rooted to the spot, she couldn't quite believe that that was real. Hotch had spoken like that to her. What did she do? She had thought they were friends, after everything, had she been reading him wrong? He didn't want her around after all.
When Dave had spoken that's when Hotch had finally looked up at Emily and it sunk in who he had just taken his black mood out on. His jaw dropped. "Oh god, Emily, I didn't mean it I swear." But he could see in her eyes that an apology really wasn't good enough right now, he had hurt her, badly. How could he have been so thoughtless? It was like his mind had just forgotten who he was talking to, it didn't even register that he was even talking at all, it just came out.
Emily shook her head and walked away from both of the men in front of her, she left the catwalk, needing to put some distance between them so she could process what had just happened. She needed to think.
"Emily, come back, we need to talk about this. I'm sorry." She ignored him, as well as the looks of sympathy she was getting from the rest of the team who were watching the whole scene play out before them. Hotch tried a different tactic, he was desperate for her to come and talk to him so he could apologise, he felt awful. "As your supervisor you can't ignore me, I want you to come up here and talk to me please." He could tell from her shoulders tensing that he had just made a huge mistake and only made the situation worse. Emily turned on her heel and looking him dead in the eye.
"You can't order me around Hotch, not anymore, I quit!" She yelled at him, feeling hurt and angry at the fact that he thought he could treat her this way. He couldn't even decide if he wanted to be her friend or boss right now. All she did was offer to help him, his paperwork load was at least triple everyone else, and he had turned on her.
"You can't. I won't allow it. You're really going to quit? Because of me?"
"Yes, of course because of you!" That stopped Hotch short, and really hurt him too.
"You find me that unbearable?" He was no longer shouting. The woman he loved couldn't stand to be around him. Although Emily just looked confused.
"Unbearable? What?" Emily then looked up at Dave who she really hoped would help her out with some answers. "He doesn't..?" Dave shook his head sadly. "Oh."
"I don't what? Emily? Dave?" he asked, switching between the two of them hoping for an answer.
"It's not important. If it was important, you would have figured it out by now Hotch. Everyone else has, hell even Strauss figured it out." Hotch looked around at his team, they all knew what she meant, Spencer was actually looking at him in disbelief that he couldn't see it. Garcia was looking visibly upset at this point, JJ was looking at him like he was just plain slow, and Derek was very, very angry. Hotch knew that Derek was protective over Emily but this was insane, he hadn't done anything wrong. That he knew of. Emily had gone over to her desk to get her bag and coat, he couldn't see her face but when she turned to leave he saw quite clearly the tears streaming down her face. She was crying. He had made her cry. She started to walk away towards the doors. Hotch knew that he needed to stop her, to get her to stay, to explain, just to stay, with him.
"PRENTISS!" Even as he said it he knew it was the wrong thing to say. Emily stopped in her tracks and turned to face him; he had never seen such pain and hurt in her eyes before. He had messed up big time.
"Prentiss?" The word came out broken as she couldn't hold back her sobs anymore, calling her Prentiss had finally broken her. She would always just be Prentiss to him, one of his subordinates with no first name; that thought alone knocked the life out of her. She walked over to him and slapped his face with all the strength she had. Then, without looking at anyone else in the face she half ran through the glass doors of the BAU – perhaps for the last time – and out of the building to the parking lot. She needed to get home, this kind of unprecedented breakdown really needed to be kept within the confines of her own home without any witnesses to see the once strong Emily Prentiss have her heart torn apart by a man.
Hotch's cheek was still hurting like hell as he watched Emily flee the building, flee from him. 'Nice move Hotchner, now you've gone and done it.' However more powerful than his own thoughts of self-loathing was the thought 'please come back Emily'. All by himself he had made the woman he loved hate him and leave him, again. He couldn't go after her, it would be inappropriate he was her boss and maybe friend nothing more, as much as he wanted that not to be true, as much as he wanted her to be his, he knew that she wasn't going to let him near her any time soon. He turned to go to his office, to hide and also to figure out what to do, but his path was blocked by Morgan who as well as every other person in the bullpen who was still staring at him, was looking at him with such anger that Hotch was literally feeling the burn. JJ and Garcia were both crying too for the hurt caused to their friend, with Spencer holding JJ's hand in support. Dave, his supposed best friend was still up on the catwalk, but even he looked near tears at what Hotch had done to Emily, Dave's surrogate daughter. Morgan stepped forward to Hotch and punched him in the face, giving Hotch a black eye and a possible broken nose. Hotch nearly fell over from the force of the hit, he needed to sit down before he fell down. Not one of his fellow teammates looked surprised or remorseful at Derek's actions; it was well-deserved.
As Hotch stood there at Emily's desk trying to recover and to check the damage to his face, the rest of the team moved out of the bullpen; Dave to his office, Morgan took the other three to the break room to get away from Hotch before one of them did something else to him. There was something he was missing or not understanding, he had shouted at his team before, even at Emily although rarely, why was this any different? Why had she reacted so badly and taken off? Hotch had guessed that the team knew why but were not planning on telling him. Why had he taken it out on Emily? She could never do anything to make him angry, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time today. 'You really are an ass Aaron. She has done everything for you, and for caring she gets yelled at? What a jerk you are.' If he didn't fix this he would lose his team, they were not going to speak to him again if he didn't get Emily back, he had no doubt that even on his best day they still preferred her over him anyway, she was just one of those people you can't help but love, or fall in love with in his case. Still, he didn't understand why Emily had reacted the way she had, what had he missed?
Hotch guessed that Dave would be the only person even willing to be in the same breathing space as him right now, so he went and knocked on his office door, hoping that he would forgive him enough to open the door. When he didn't hear anything he stepped inside. Rossi was sitting behind his desk with his bottle of scotch out drinking from the bottle for once, this was not a good sign for Hotch.
"Get out of my office Hotchner, I don't want to see you." Oh yeah, Dave was probably loading his gun behind the desk as he spoke.
"Dave please, my face is already killing me, I need to talk to you, just for a minute and then I'll leave I swear." Dave gave a small nod. "Dave, can you please explain to me what just happened out there."
"Well, you mouthed off at Emily when she was only being nice to you, which upset her so she quit and then slapped you and then to finish off Derek sucker punched you. Is that all? Because I really don't want to be around you right now."
"Okay I know what happened, but I don't understand why. Why did Emily get so upset, she's known me to get mad before, and don't tell me you don't know why because I know you do. I saw you and the rest of them looking at each other, you know and you won't tell me!"
Dave now looked furious, he stood up and moved around the desk so nothing was between them, Hotch wondered whether Dave was going to punch him too.
"Are you seriously telling me you have no clue why what you said would have upset Emily? You idiot Aaron Hotchner. Are you just blind or plain stupid? It's times like these where I think that you really are in the wrong profession, for a person who reads behaviour for a living you sure as hell can't read the people right in front of you. I really am going to have to spell it out for you aren't I?" Dave leant his back against the edge of his desk. 'I could strangle the man where he stands right now, I really could. Profiler my ass' he thought. "Okay Aaron, I'll go slow so you can keep up. Who was the one who was constantly there for you throughout your divorce, the Foyet saga and who helped you when you lost your hearing? Emily. Who is the one who talks to you about your personal life when you know for a fact that no one else would dare to? Who is the one who sits by your hospital bed and worries every time you get hurt? Who is the one who watches you to make sure you don't get too lost in paperwork, or that brings you coffee and lunch without being asked to? Who is the one who stays late in the bullpen so that she can be sure you go home at a reasonable hour? Who is the one person who can read you so well it scares you because they can see every little thing that you feel and they still stand by you every second of the day? Emily! It has ALWAYS been Emily, she has always been there for you, even when you didn't ask for it. She does it without question, without complaining and always without asking for anything in return. Not because no one else will, you know that the whole team will always help you, but maybe not as much as she has, can you say that any of the others would do what she has done for you? I can say they wouldn't, I know I wouldn't, I don't have that kind of patience or determination. She has given up so much for you, so many things you have no idea about; the dates she's declined, the job offers she has refused, nights out with friends she has left early from, that girl has given up on the chance of a real, normal life just so that she can talk when you call, or that she can just sit there and be there for you. You have no idea what Emily has done for you. More than all of my ex-wives put together ever did for me I can tell you." As Dave listed all of the things Emily had done for the clearly undeserving Hotch he was amazed that none of these things had been a clue for him, he really was blind. At the very least he could cross off the possibility that Hotch did know and that he either didn't care or the feeling wasn't mutual, that was the very reason Emily had never told Hotch herself and never planned to no matter how hard JJ and himself had pushed her to. 'Please Aaron understand what this means.'
Hotch knew all of this, well most of it, and it was the exact reason why he loved her. He would give her anything to repay her, she just had to ask and it was hers. She does it all because that's who she is, she would do it for anyone, she was just being a good friend. Just thinking back on the countless times she had turned up at his place 'just for a coffee' or because 'she was in the area' and ended up helping him through days where he would get lost in the bad thoughts in his own head, reminded him of the urge to kiss her he had every time she said goodbye to him and then hesitated before leaving. Is it any wonder he was completely in love with her? He truly would give anything at all just for one kiss from her.
Dave could see that Hotch was thinking, although about what who knew? He was tired and wanted Hotch to leave him be, the look on Emily's face earlier had broken his heart. "Aaron, without you seeing it Emily has given herself to you heart and soul. Emily is in love with you and has been for a very long time. All this time you had no idea, which I suppose is better than her idea that you didn't think she was good enough for you." Dave took a deep breath, remembering JJ tell him about the conversation she had had with Emily about that particular idea, how can she think she isn't good enough? She's too good. "I suggest you leave now, I am done with you. Unless you return Emily's feelings and love her back without hesitation one hundred percent, I suggest you let her go, she doesn't deserve any more heartache from you."
Hotch was actually in shock. Emily is in love with you and has been for a very long time. What? How could she be? He was nowhere near worthy of her love, he was too damaged, too broken with a ton of baggage. It made sense now why she had done all of those things for him. The whole team knew, oh god, did they think he didn't care about her? How had he not noticed? How the hell didn't he know? She loves him back. That's the important part here. Would she still have him? She needs to know he loves her too. Why hadn't he told her before? Yep, a blind idiotic coward he was.
"I love her more than anything." Hotch had said it so fast that Dave wasn't sure he had heard right. "I have to see her. I have to tell her." With that, Hotch practically ran out of the office and into an elevator before Dave could say anything else. David Rossi then sat down at his desk with a smile on his face, and sent a text to JJ telling the others to bring glasses to his office for a drink, as he knew that now everything was going to work out just fine.
Hotch used his copy of her key to unlock Emily's door, knowing that even if he knocked she wouldn't answer it if she knew it was him, at least this way she can't shut him out; this really wouldn't sound as good coming from the other side of a door. From habit more than anything else he removed his shoes and suit jacket and left them by the door just like the countless other times he had been in her apartment, she really didn't like having a messy home he had discovered. Even from the front door he could hear Emily at the end of the apartment, crying. The sound of her quite violent sobbing broke his heart, he had caused this. It was his fault she was so upset, he was an idiot. He walked to her bedroom and found her curled up on her side on the far side of the bed facing away from the doorway. He stood there a moment watching her, and he made a promise that he would never again make his Emily cry. He wasn't sure whether she knew he was here or not, being mistaken for a burglar would definitely not be good, he knew for a fact that she would shoot and then check later who it was. He walked over to her bed and sat down slowly so not to scare her that there was a man who had just let himself into her home sitting on her bed. 'Okay that really doesn't sound good. Maybe I deserve to be shot.'
"Emily."He called her name softly so she would know it was him and that he wasn't there for a fight. She didn't turn around, or even make any motion that she had heard him at all. Hotch moved further onto the bed towards Emily, he knelt behind her and slowly placed his hand on her back to comfort her. Only when he touched her did her hear her intake of breath in surprise, they all knew he wasn't exactly a touchy-feely kind of guy, this was a first for him, but she liked it. When she didn't protest at his being there he went further and lay down next to her and allowed his hand to gently rub her back as if to calm her, it seemed to work as her sobbing faded to silent tears and her breathing became more steady.
She was surprised to say the least that he had come after her, but now this gentleness was just plain confusing to her, why was he here like this? The truth was that she was more than happy that he was. Emily was exhausted from crying and finally fell asleep with Hotch rubbing circles in her back, wishing he would stay but knowing that once she fell asleep he would leave; her fear of him leaving made her force herself to stay awake as long as she could but sleep finally caught up to her.
Hotch used the two hours or so that Emily was asleep to call into the office and tell Dave to take the team off rotation until the following week at least and that he was taking the rest of the day and possibly the rest of the week off too, the same going for Emily; she wasn't going to quit the BAU as long as he was around, she is too good at her job and it's where she belongs. During this not once did he release his arm from around Emily once it was there, and once he hung up the phone he just lay there watching her sleep waiting for her to wake up. Once she was awake he was going to tell her everything, he wasn't going to let her walk away from him again.
Emily woke up to find Hotch's arm tight around her waist and the man himself trailing light kisses on the back of her neck and shoulder. A sad smile appeared on her face as she guessed he was probably half asleep and didn't realize what he was doing; she should let him know she is awake now before he does anything which he would really regret. She sighed loudly and shifted slightly so that he knew, yet he didn't stop the kisses nor did he move his arm; this confused her, after today surely he would rather run away rather than be here at all let alone on her bed.
Hotch realized Emily was awake, he didn't change what he was doing, she needed to understand that he was staying. After a few minutes of not moving Hotch decided it was time to talk; so he used the arm that was wrapped tightly around Emily's waist to pull her up so that she was sitting on his lap, crushed against his chest with her head resting in the crook of his neck. He didn't plan on letting her go again anytime soon.
"I am so sorry."
"It's fine Hotch, you've yelled at me before." She sounded so sad that it hurt him. Hotch pulled Emily back far enough to be able to look into her eyes. 'Now or never Hotchner' he thought.
"I don't just mean that Emily. I am so sorry for much more than that. I am sorry for not thanking you for every little thing you have done for me over the past few years; you have always been there for me and Jack, even when I tried to push you away you always stayed, thank you for bringing me back to life Emily after I fell down so far. I am sorry for not telling you how wonderful and amazing you are at every opportunity; you are an incredible person, selfless, compassionate, loving, beautiful and a million other things. But the thing I am most sorry for is waiting until now to tell you, something I should have told you every single day; that I love and adore you Emily Prentiss. I love you so much I can't focus, can't think of anything else but you. You are my whole world, my lifeline, and I am so sorry that it took for you to leave me to push me to tell you this. If you can ever forgive me and my cowardly heart I will tell you this every single day from now until the day I die, I will do everything I can to be a man worthy of you Emily. I love you."
This time they both had tears running down their faces, but unlike last time these were happy tears. Emily couldn't get her brain to function to tell her mouth to say something. This was the best thing she had heard in her entire life, he loved her. He honestly loved her back. She had long resigned herself to believing this would never happen, that Haley had been the one love of his life and that she would make do by being his friend, but now he was really here saying these things to her. Is it possible that this is a dream? It feels too dream-like to be real, and she was never one to actually have her dreams come true. He loves her? He loves her. He loves her! Her brain had literally stopped, words were currently too much to ask for. Emily leant forward and pushed her lips against his, when he returned the kiss, she flung her arms around his neck and kissed the life out of Aaron Hotchner. Trying with that kiss to tell him how much she loved him too, that he meant the world to her, and she had a feeling that he was trying to do the same. They didn't break apart until breathing became an absolute necessity. Emily sat back and held his face in between her hands, looking deep into his eyes.
"I love you Aaron. Always have and always will." They sat there for a long time just smiling at each other, feeling completely elated.
"I called and got us both out of work until Monday, would you like to come and stay with me and Jack?"
"I can't think of anything I would rather do." Aaron bent down and kissed her forcefully letting her know she was his now and he was never letting her go. He pushed her back until she was lying on the bed underneath him.
"I love you."