Honey and Amber

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Fullmetal Alchemist

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Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor am I affiliated in any way with the copyright owners of Fullmetal Alchemist. Fullmetal Alchemist's story and characters are copyrighted to Hiromu Arakawa and the various companies who produced the Manga, Anime and other Merchandise.

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Author's Note: This is a story about the bond between Edward and Alphonse. Their bond is deeper than brothers... deeper than lovers... It's been about a year since Edward Elric and Ling Yao were 'In the Belly of the Beast.'
AU, but mostly Mangaverse. My take on what the ending might be.
This is actually based on a dream I had the other night, which I then elaborated.

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Warning:
Manga spoilers for Chapter 53 (Signpost of the Soul) and Chapter 73 (Daydream).
EdxAl (If you're drunk or high and if you squint.) (A lot.) (I never intended for this to be an Elricest. But it can be, I guess. If you want.)
Please, R&R! Flames welcome.

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Al, I'm coming.

Then there was white.

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There is a cabin in the woods. A roof. Four walls. A door, two windows and a fireplace.

If one were to look through a window of said cabin, they would see a blond teenager and a suit of armor. There were no furnishings in the cabin, no rooms either. One would see only a lonely suitcase sitting against the wall.

If one were to look at the floor, they would see a large ring drawn on the ground. A ring drawn in red and white, arcane symbols dancing around the edges. The suit of armor lay in the middle of the ring. The blond youth stood next to the armor, looking down. His mouth was moving, but through the thick glass, one would not be able to hear what was said.

If one were to continue watching, one would see the blond boy bring his palms together and observe the lightning that flew from his fingertips. The ring on the floor began to glow.

That would be all one would see before the world was engulfed in white.

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"Brother, I'm scared," Al muttered from where he lay on the floor. He was in the center of the array his brother drew to open the way to the gate.

"To be honest, so am I," Edward admitted, smiling softly. It was going to work. It just had to...

"What... what if you fail?" Al's timid voice asked.

"I'll..." 'I'll kill myself,' Edward thought, but he straightened his shoulders and looked squarely at the armor that housed his younger brother's soul. "I WILL NOT FAIL!" he spat vehemently, speaking more to himself than to answer his brother's inquiry. 'What if I do fail...? NO! I will not let myself go there,' he shook his head to clear his mind of such negative things.

"Ed..."

"Uh... yes?" Edward snapped himself out of his reverie.

Al shook the helmet that served as his head. "No-nothing. I just wanted to say your name... just... just in case..."

Edward cringed at the hints of fear and sadness that crept into the hollow voice. "Al, you're the one who keeps saying it's okay to believe, so, believe Al. Believe for the both of us," Ed slapped his palms together and smiled. "Well, here goes..."

"Edward, I love you."

"I love you, too, Alphonse."

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Edward was at the gate again. The ugly, beautiful, hateful gate. He had paid the price to get here, given up something important. He was told Al would be here, waiting.

Waiting to be human again. "Al. I'm coming."

He had come up with this theory after being trapped in Gluttony's stomach and he found Al's living body inside the gate.

'I can't. You're not my soul. I can't go with you.'

When Edward heard those words as he was being dragged away by the gate, he promised that, no matter what, he would come back. He kept that promise. It had taken him a year, but by all that was supposed to be holy, he had kept that promise.

But this time, he had taken Al's soul with him.

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Once inside the gate, the being of light, who called itself 'Truth' gave Edward a choice. 'Truth' also asked why he had brought the armor along. "So, this time you have come for that body, right? Or, do you want your limbs back?"

Edward looked behind him and saw that the armor Al occupied seemed... empty... "I want Al's body," he stated as he turned back to face the 'Truth,' staring at an arm and leg that were rightfully his. "Where's my brother?"

"Your brother has already left," the voice answered.

"Left?!" Ed started. "What do you mean?"

"The soul has found the body. It's now up to you to find it. But first, you need to pay the toll."

"What... what do you want?" he asked hesitantly. 'They do say that a soul and a body will always try to merge again once they've been separated...' Edward thought. 'And there was that time Al told me about...'

"What is an important issue to you? What upsets you? You need to learn humility, so I'll take one of two things. Are you willing to give up your alchemy?"

"NO!" was the teen's instant response. "Well, maybe..."

"What are you willing to give up?"

Edward stared at the light. "I'm obsessed with my... With my height, so... I will give up hope growing any taller."

"Very good. But, there's something else... Why will you not give up your alchemy? It was YOUR alchemy that you used to destroy your younger brother. It was you who did this. Don't you think you should throw away such a force of destruction?"

"How... how will I take care of him? I don't... know... how I can be strong without it. Al needs me... I need to be strong for him," Edward stammered, staring at the floor.

"No. You need Al a lot more than he needs you!" 'Truth' smirked. "I've decided. I know what I want."

Edward's head shot up, eyes wide with fear.

"You need him a lot more than he needs you," the voice repeated. "Have you forgiven yourself for an act you committed out of love? Because until you do, you will not be able to touch him. You can have him back, but you can't have him."

"Have him?" he furrowed his brow, "I just want to give him back the body I took from him. I promised him."

"Do you love your brother?"

"Of course I love him. He's my everything... my only link to... sanity..." Edward realized slowly.

"Finally, you understand. Without your brother in your life, you would be a drooling wreck. Be prepared to go through hell. Just remember, he has already forgiven you," the 'Truth' snapped his... Edward's... fingers and the young blond alchemist was engulfed in white fire. There was no pain... physically.

Edward rubbed his eyes when the sensation passed and looked at the armor one last time before leaving to search for his younger sibling. As he wandered through the white expanse, Edward thought back on the theory that brought both his brother and himself to the point they were at now. It all began with a conversation he had overheard between their father, Hohenheim, and Pinako. The points his father had made were then confirmed when he was trapped inside Gluttony's stomach. It was impossible to transmute something that doesn't exist anymore, but since both Al's body and soul existed, albeit separately, it would be possible for them to be reunited once more.

He knew something had been troubling his brother for while, and he finally got Al to speak to him about. Al had told him, after much badgering, about the time he felt his body attempt to call the soul back during a vicious blizzard on Mount Briggs. Ed was sure there were other times this had happened, that the armor had almost rejected the soul that was only held on by a years-old blood seal, but this was all the information he could get his younger brother to divulge. Al had also confided his fear of almost dying then.

Edward remembered hearing the scared voice of his brother after coming to again. Al told him that he had started convulsing and then fainted after hearing what he had been told. But it had as such a shock, to realize that yes, Al did have a body that could die.

"Al, I'm coming."

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Edward woke up. His ears were still ringing from the alchemic explosion. Lazily, he opened first one eye, then the other. Lights floated in the corners of his vision. He let his head fall to one side and beheld the miracle that was his brother.

His other half.
His reason for living.

Tears he never noticed came to his eyes as he crawled over to the body that lay in the array. "Al...?" he began, tentatively. "AL!"

The younger boy's eyelids fluttered at the sound of his name. Slowly, they opened. As dark as it as in the... room...? it was still too bright. He was blinded. "Br...br...oth...er...?"

"Yes? AL? AL!" Edward lovingly placed fingertips on the body. Not believing it was real. Not believing how beautiful it was. Tears were running freely down his face now. "Can you sit up?" This was too much to believe.

Al nodded.

Edward placed a hand on the back of his baby brother, reveling in the touch of his skin. Skin that was so white, it glowed. Skin that was so pale... So very pale...

Awkwardly, he snaked his arms around the slender neck. "Alphonse!" He cried, kissing his brother's cheek. "I'm so happy. I don't know what to say. I can't believe it worked. Alphonse! Oh, Alphonse!" Abruptly, he released Al from the embrace. There were bruises already forming on the virgin flesh. 'Of course,' Ed thought, inwardly kicking himself, 'My promise... and he hasn't touched, or been touched by, anything in almost six years.'

"...? Wha...?" Al moaned, as he started falling backward again, surprised at the sudden release.

"Nothing," he was more careful this time, as he caught the descending body. His hand got tangled in the golden tresses, shades darker than his own. It was then that he realized how long his brother's hair was. It hung halfway down his back.

Alphonse turned to face Edward and threw his arms around the older boy's body, causing Edward to stiffen. Why wasn't he getting a return hug? Isn't this what Edward wanted?

He noticed that his brother's right arm still felt hard. Clumsily, he unbuttoned his older brother's shirt. He began to cry as he yanked the fabric off Edward's right shoulder. "Bro... ther..." he croaked as he saw the dull metal of the prosthetic limb, "you... you... pro... mised..."

Edward knew what he was talking about. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know. I was given a choice," he took off his red overcoat and tenderly laid it across the bare shoulders of the boy who sat before him. "You, or my limbs," Edward gently cupped Al's face with his left hand, wincing at the sight of the already forming bruise. "I'm sorry Al, but I got greedy." Al's amber eyes widened at Edward's probing honey-colored gaze, "I took back the biggest part of me."

"What...?" Al was still not used to a real voice. The vibrations in his throat tickled. And hurt. "What... did... you... give up?"

"I'll never grow again," Edward lied.

"What?"

"I mean... I'll be... sh... sh... short... forever!" Edward managed a weak smile, "But, for you... I think I can handle it. I'd do anything for you, Al. Anything. I owe it to you. I'll give you anything you desire. Everything you desire! I owe you for so much. Someday, somehow, I'll make it up to you. No matter how many times you ask, if it's within my power, I will do anything you ask. Please, just don't hate me for what I did to you when I put you in that armor! There is nothing, NOTHING, that I wouldn't do for you!" Edward was screaming by now, curled into a ball on the ground before his brother and holding his head in his hands.

Alphonse took his brother's left hand in his own, "Brother, I've already forgiven you... In fact, you were never to blame. It was me. I went along with the transmutation even though I had a bad feeling about it. Now, please, you just need to forgive yourself. I love you and I will always be with you."

The older teen yanked his hand from the loving grasp, causing a pained look to cross the younger's features. "That's what... HE said to me..." Edward whispered, looking over his brother's body. New tears sprang to his eyes as he took in all the bruises he had inadvertently caused. "Oh, Al! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"Hurt me? What do you mean?" Al looked at his brother, then at himself. "It's not your fault that I look like this. But maybe, if you drank more milk when I asked you to..."

Edward glared at his brother momentarily, before realizing he was being teased. "That's not fair."

"You're right. I... I shouldn't... tease. Not after what you did for me. Thank you, Brother," Al carefully pulled the overcoat tighter around his body. He was cold. Cold. What a glorious, painful feeling. "I'm... cold. Brother."

"Cold?" Edward looked at his younger sibling. 'Of course he's cold. He's naked.' "You're... beautiful..." he scooted backward toward the suitcase, refusing to take his eyes off his brother for fear that this was a dream and Alphonse would disappear.

Afraid that he would wake up and realize he had betrayed Alphonse's trust.
Afraid that he would wake up and realize that his brother was gone for good.

Reaching back with his hand, his fingers sought out and found the handle of the suitcase. Wrapping his fingers around the frigid wooden handle, he dragged it forward. As he made his way back to Alphonse, he took in the sight of his brother. He was a skeleton. With skin. It didn't seem fair that he had such a relatively healthy body while the body he pulled back from the gate was so...

Emaciated... Glass bones and paper skin...

Alphonse looked at himself. He could see the blood vessels through his skin. "I'm not... beautiful," he protested.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and right now, for me, you are the epitome of beauty," Ed countered as he opened the suitcase and pulled out some clothes for Alphonse to wear. He wondered if Al saw the marks, but decided he didn't since the younger boy gave no indication of feeling the bruises or of seeing them. And Al looked at his body so much these past few minutes, Edward thought he would have noticed them by now.

Alphonse shrugged off the worn overcoat as he reached for the outfit. He couldn't understand why his skin was so tender. He winced as he pulled the boxers on.

"Al..." the young State Alchemist balled his fists in frustration. He couldn't bear to watch his dearest brother struggle to get dressed. Relaxing his hands, he helped Al with the pants and shirt, flipping the ponytail out of the collar once it was on. "We... we need to talk."

"Yes, we do. Edward, I think I can do it. I haven't done the things you have... I think I...might be able to get your arm and leg back," the younger boy insisted. Surely his older brother wouldn't deny him this request.

"No! I forbid you to even think about attempting to get my arm and leg back! I'm not running the risk of losing you for real this time!" Edward cried out, surprised at Al's sudden vehemence.

"You're too overprotective, Brother..." Alphonse mewled shrilly.

"Al, I refuse to let you do it. I will not lose anything else. Everything is fine the way it is. I have you back. I don't need my limbs back. I'll keep the auto-mail if it means that you will be safe forever."

"But Brother... It's not fair that I have my body back and you don't! After everything you've done for me, protecting me and taking care of me in the armor body! I just want to do something for you! I mean, it's not like you absolutely had to pull my soul back and bind it to the armor. I never asked you to do that..." tears were running down the darker haired boy's face. "I'm so grateful that you pulled me back... I never blamed you."

"I... was desperate... I... just didn't want to be alone... and, it was something I didn't realize I was doing at the time. I bound your soul purely by instinct," Edward quietly admitted as he jumped his feet and started pacing. "Because the thing is, trying to bring Mom back was a major flop, and if bringing you back didn't work... I would have..." he choked on a sob. Finally telling his brother the truth was harder than he thought it would be. "If I had failed to bind your soul to the armor, I would have..."

"Brother..." Al whispered. He knew the older teen was trying to come to terms with something he thought was too terrible for words. Edward was crying again, and Al wanted to know why, but was afraid asking outright would cause him shut down completely.

"Alphonse," he started again, clearing his throat before kneeling down and looking the younger boy in the eyes, "if I had not been able to bind your soul to the armor that night, I would have transmuted myself out of existence."

"Could you really gone through with... that? The human will to survive is very strong, I mean, just look at hard I tried to continue living. Because I know you love me. You gave me another chance. It's all because of you that I'm still here. Thank you, Brother."

"Living? Existing, you mean? I realize now what the adults were always trying to tell me. But, I guess a half-life is better than no life, right?" Edward asked, hanging his head and staring at the floor, his hair falling over his shoulders and obscuring his face. He was unable to meet his brother's eyes. Alphonse had forgiven him for everything, in fact, Al had never blamed him in the first place. He even said as much just a few moments ago. If Al could forgive him this most heinous crime, why shouldn't he be able to do the same, he reasoned. Without Al, his life would have had no purpose. Ed smiled as he felt a lightness in his chest. It was as if the world suddenly became a little brighter and the air easier to breathe. His burden was gone, replaced with a feeling of peace and love that came from the huge smile plastered on Alphonse's face. "I don't deserve to be the presence of someone so great as you, my dearest brother."

"Edward..." Al crooned, "don't leave me alone. Like you, I just don't want to be alone... besides, I wouldn't be able to take care of myself as I am now. Just look at me, I'm a fifteen-year-old boy in a ten-year-old body."

"I know... I mean... I'm not going anywhere Al. I don't think I could if I tried," he chuckled weakly. "It may take some time, but I think I can begin to forgive myself now. Because of tonight, the forgiving has already begun."

"Now what?" Al asked innocently. It was getting easier to speak, considering he and Edward had given his voice much practice tonight.

"Huh? Now what?" Edward repeated dumbly as he jerked his head up. The bright colors became muted again, and the heaviness returned to the air. Now what, indeed. He had succeeded in his quest to restore his brother's soul to its body, so what was there left to do? "Well, let's just take this one day at a time. See what happens."

Alphonse smiled brightly as he stood up and grabbed hold of his beloved sibling's hand to stay balanced. His legs were not used to standing.

Edward picked up the suitcase after he was sure Al would not fall, smiling as he noticed no new bruises had formed on Al's hands where they touched his own skin.

"Let's go home."