Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I'm just borrowing him for a bit. No copywright infringment is intended and I'm making no money from this whatsoever.

"I wonder where he is." I wondered aloud, half of Gryffindor table, or atleast all of those within earshot turned around and faced me. I didn't have to say who I was talking about.

Everyone knew.

It had only been a week since it happened, and with something like that... Well, let's just say it'll take me years before it'll even leave my mind for a second.

'NO!' I scolded myself mentally. 'He WILL come back!'

Hermione turned to face me, tears in her eyes.

"Ron, I think he's nearby... I know he's nearby. I can feel it." She smiled through her tears.

It was all our fault and we knew it, we should've said something. Someone should have said soemthing. I should have been suspicious when he... But then again, you know what they say. Hindsight's 20/20...

I stood by his bed waiting for him to awaken from his nightmare, I could tell he was having another one he was tossing and turning and sweat was trickling down his forehead.

"NOO!" He yelled and sprang up from his sleep, sitting bolt upright fast enough to scare the living daylights out of me and wake up all our room mates.

"What the...?" Seamus asked, poking his head out of his four-poster. I waited for Harry to do the usual muttering of "Just a nightmare." Roll back over and fall asleep... But he didn't, I noticed tears in his eyes before they fell and he just sat there, staring avidly at me.

"What's wrong, mate?" I asked worridly, usually Harry tended to hide his fear and never before had he allowed himself to cry so openly in front of me.

When he continued to stare, then I went to get Hermione, it was then that I remembered that I couldn't get up the stairs. So I just yelled for her.

"HERMIONE!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, she was out of her room and down the stars in her pyjamas faster than a rocket, with Ginny right behind her.

"What... Is there something wrong with Harry?" She demanded, in a panic before I had the time to tell her.

"Yes!" I said suddenly. "Let's go!"

She was up the staircase to the boys dormitory like a shot Ginny, however, walked a bit slower with me up the stairs.

"What happened?" She asked softly.

"I dunno, I think Harry had a nightmare, but he's not talking." I replied, just as soft.

When we got there, Harry was shaking and tears were pouring faster than they were before. Hermione wrapped her arms around Harry and rocked him like a child.

"Harry! Tell us! What's wrong?" Hermione demanded, though her tone remained as soft as one would speak to a four year old with.

"I... I..." Harry started, but faultered and buried his face in the crook of Hermione's neck.

This got Ginny panicking, and without a second thought she dashed into the dormitory and wrapped her arms around Harry as well.

Two girls in the boys dormitory was starting to get all the inhabitants of the boys dormitory's attention. Dean and Seamus had walked over to stand at the end of Harry's bed, I could tell Neville was also nearly in a panic.

Anything that could scare Harry that much would surely give Neville Longbottom a heart attack.

"Are you...Alright?" Dean asked weakly, but Harry only dug his head deeper into Hermione's shoulder and wrapped his arms around her.

"I've never really had a mum, Hermione." He whispered suddenly, the sound somehow reaching my ears. He lifted his head out from her shoulder. "I hope you don't mind being a substitute for the moment."

Harry smiled weakly.

Hermione burst into tears, free-flowing down her cheeks and squeezed Harry back into his previous position.

"No, Harry..." She said between racking sobs. "I don't."

I noticed that Ginny, too, was crying silently. I felt hotness sting my eyes for a moment before I reasoned myself out of it. Goodness only knows what they're crying about, I'm not going to join them until I know good and well what in the hell is going on.

So I walked over and perched myself at the end of Harry's bed, closing the curtains again.

"Mate?" I asked, Hermione and Ginny glowered at me, obviously thinking it was a motherly kind of moment. And, to tell you the truth, it felt like one. "What's wrong?"

Harry lifted his head once again.

"I.." For a moment I thought he was going to jam his head back where it was, Hermione certainly thought so, she still had her arms around him and Ginny didn't seem like she was going to loosen her grip anytime soon either. "I just had another nightmare about Sirius' death, that's all. And I just realized that anyone could die at any time and they wouldn't know that I cared."

I could tell he wasn't telling the truth, and Ginny looked doubtful. Harry had nearly broken down, it had to be worse than that.

"Oh, Harry, we know you care." Hermione reasoned, squeezing him tighter and Ginny followed suit.

Harry sighed.

"I think I'll remind them." He announced decidedly.

Harry then hugged Hermione avidly and said one of the strangest things I think I've heard him say:

"I love you."

Hermione appeared to have gone in shock for a moment, which Harry pulled away and looked at her strangely, as if he thought she didn't love him back. Hermione however, started crying with newly found abundance and hugged him again.

"I love you too!" She sobbed. He squeezed her tightly before giving her a light peck on the cheek and turning around to facing Ginny, she wiped her eyes and looked at him. I wondered if Harry was going to say the same thing to her, and it was obvious she was too from the way she was eyeing him.

Harry took her in his arms and squeezed her, saying softly. She squeezed him back but was just as shocked as Hermione when he said so softly that I barely heard him.

"I love you."

Ginny did her best to keep from crying and replied throatily, "I love you too." He gave her a tight squeeze and she followed suit. Until he pulled back and pecked her on the cheek as well.

I couldn't help it, as much as I regret it now, I thought to myself 'Well, isn't this just a little love-fest, I hope he isn't going to kiss me on the cheek like that.'

Harry then turned to me, he seemed apprehensive for a moment, as if he thought that I would push him away. But after that moment he leaned forward and hugged me, I hugged him back without a second thought but my jaw dropped when he murmered "I love you" into my ear.

I was so taken aback I almost didn't respond, but this time he held onto me. Now I realize that he was afraid that if he pulled back without a response, he didn't think I would at all... But he was one of my first real friends and I know for a fact that I really was his first friend.

"I love you too." I whispered, closing my eyes and hugging him back.

When he pulled away, I noticed him wiping his eyes yet again, before standing up and walking to Seamus and wrapping his arms around him.

Now I wasn't taken aback, I was in shock. Seamus just looked confused but when Harry announced "I love you." Seamus responded strangly quickly.

Harry started to slowly make his rounds as the three of us sat on his bed and watched him, Harry appeared completely unembarrased by his actions. But everyone else, once released by him, blushed furiously and went back to bed.

Once Harry reached Neville, however, Neville didn't blink. He just wrapped his arms tightly around Harry, who responded immediately.

"I love you." He said again, his mantra. I wondered whether it was one of the things that kept him sane. He appeared to be saying it a lot more lately.

"I love you too, Harry." Neville responded with a sigh as Harry released him, I noticed he was the only one besides Ginny and Hermione that didn't blush as he climbed back into bed with a small wave to Harry.

Harry then turned around and walked over to the only desk in the dormitory and pulled out a stack of parchment.

"Watcha doin mate?" I asked him as Ginny and Hermione eyed him curiously. He was acting very strangely.

"I've got to tell Lupin, don't I? And your mum, and your dad. They're always so nice. And Tonks..." He said thoughtfully, immediately he started scribbling on a sheet of parchment

"Better be careful, mate, or they'll think they're suicide letters." I replied with an idiotic grin I just can't seem to control.

Hermione's eyes widened, soemthing Harry seemed to sense because he, as he placed the piece of parchment to the side and grabbed another one,

"Don't worry, Hermione, I don't want to kill myself." Harry turned around, and I could see a big grin on his tear-streaked face. "That's what ole Voldie's for, right?"

Harry laughed softly to lighten the comment and I let out a nervous chuckle, Hermione and Ginny followed suit.

We watched him as he sat there, scribbling neatly a stack of letters. I wondered who they were all for. We even watched him as he watched the ink dry and folded them neatly before sticking them in envelopes and labeling them. I, who was closest to him, read the names on them, but not aloud.

Albus Dumbledore

Remus Lupin

Nymphadora Tonks

Colin Creevey

Dennis Creevey

Mr.Weasley

Mrs.Weasley

Rubeus Hagrid

Minerva Mcgonagall

Luna Lovegood

Cho Chang

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Percy Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Alastor Moody

Myrtle

Parvati Patil

Proffessor Snape

Bill Weasley

Dobby

Madam Pomfrey

Winky

Proffessor Flitwick

Proffessor Trelawney

Amos Diggory

FleurDelacour

Viktor Krum

Draco Malfoy

Harry then took the rather large stack of letters and laid them out on the desk.

"I'll send them tomorrow." He explained.

I couldn't help it.

"Are you going to tell Draco Malfoy that you love him?" I asked with a laugh, Ginny smirked but Hermione glowered at me some more.

Harry laughed.

"I'm going to tell him that if either one of us dies I want him to know that no matter how hard I tried I never honestly hated him. A great man once said 'I won't allow any man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.'"

Harry plopped on the bed and looked at all three of us.

"Are we having a slumber party or something? 'Cause I'm thinking I need a bit more sleep." Harry grinned, and it was infectious. We all grinned too, we stood up and Harry hugged all of us in turn. Saying once again what we knew he would "I love you" responding again with a comforting "I love you too." But to Hermione he seemed to squeeze her tighter and murmered not only "I love you" but "Thanks for everything Hermione, I'm sorry if I freaked you out. I love you and I Just wanted you to remember that."

Hermione hugged him tighter, as if she could make them both evaporate and dissappear together.

"I love you too Harry, and you didn't freak me out. I was just worried, if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

He pecked Hermione and Ginny on the cheek again as well.

But when we finally went back to bed, I heard him scribbling more letters. Later I found them to be adressed:

Ron Weasley

Ginny Weasley

Hermione Granger

Seamus Finnegan

Dean Thomas

And

Neville Longbottom.

The next morning I awoke to what felt like my mother kissing my forehead, but I awoke only to see Harry getting dressed.

"Good morning, sunshine." Harry muttered sarcastically, pulling a shirt over his head. "Took you long enough."

"Was Hermione just here?" I asked.

"Not that I know of, why?" Harry asked, slightly confused looking.

"Nevermind." I replied, thinking I'd dreamed it.

The rest of the day went along normal enough, but I noticed that none of Harry's letters were sent. I assumed that he would wait until that night to send them and didn't think twice about it.

All through lessons, however, Harry seemed distracted and kept checking his watch and looking at me strangely. Like he had dreamed that I would explode at a certain time.

I grinned at the thought and Harry retuned the favour.

But at dinner that night, Harry merely stared resolutely at it and didn't eat a bite telling everyone that asked him "I'm not hungry." Rather stolidly.

But as exactly 8:00 there was a flash of fire by the doors to the Hallway and Fawkes appeared with the sword of Gryffindor in his mouth, Dumbledore stood but the Pheonix flew to Harry and dropped it in his hands.

Harry nodded to the Pheonix and headed for the door.

"Harry!" Dumbledore cried.

"This is my fight, Dumbledore, the Prophesy must be fulfilled." If I didn't know any better I'd say Dumbledore almost cried, but Harry smiled his crooked smile and muttered. "The time has come my little friends to talk of many things. Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax of cabbages and kings..."

There was a blast and outside the windows to the Great Hall, I could see a lone figure standing.

"And why the sea is boiling hot..."

"Harry... Come out to play..." A chilling voice yelled.

"And whether pigs have wings..." Another blast.

Harry reached the doors to the Great Hall and flung them wide, they hit the stone with a BANG.

"Of cabbages and kings!" He sang out shakily, I stood up but the doors closed behind Harry quickly and I heard him mutter a locking spell.

All the Proffessors stood up and made a mad rush to the door but Dumbledore sat down and said "Stop". Everyone turned to him, in shock.

"But.." Proffessor Mcgonagall yelled.

"This is Harry's fight." Dumbledore put his face in his hands, and for the first time in my life... I heard him pray.

"' A loaf of bread,' The walrus said, 'Is what we cheifly need.'" Dumbledore announced after a few minutes, and I wondered what they were talking about.

Dumbledore waved his wand and sandwiches appeared on the tables.

"If he expects me to.." I started, but Hermione wasn't looking at me, she was staring at Dumbledore in a state of shock.

"But... Harry!" She yelled and ran towards the door.

Proffessor Mcgonagall caught Hermione as she ran and pulled her into her embrace.

I heard the front doors open and then close.

The next hour was the worst in my life. I wanted to know what was happening more than anything in my life, but I didn't dare go to the windows and watch.

Finally all the Gryffindors, after that hellish hour of blasts and bangs flew past the Slytherin table and pressed their faces to the glass, me included.

I saw Harry waving the sword of Gryffindor, deflecting every curse sent his way it was like this for what felt like forever when finally he yelled, "EXPELLIARMUS"

Voldemort stood still long enough for Harry to make the final blow, I could see that Voldemort had hit Harry with a few unknown things before I built up the courage to go to the window, he was bleeding from various places and appeared to be in a large amount of pain.

Harry stabbed Voldemort through the heart.

"That's for my father." I heard him yell. Voldemorts eyes widened and he let out a gurgle.

Harry wrenched out the sword as Voldemort fell to his knees.

The next thing I saw shocked me even more than Harrys hug, Harry telling me he loved me, Harry sending a letter to Snape and Malfoy... More than all of that combined, I was shocked to see Harry slash Voldemorts head off, a mixture of tears and blood sliding down his face as it began to rain.

"And that's becaues you deserve it." Harry said, then dropped the sword as if in shock. He stared down at his bloody hands and looked up at the night sky, and stood there.

Dumbledore, as if sensing something wrong, stood up and ran full-pelt to the door. It took all the teachers cursing and hexing the doors in unison to finally make them open.

But I wasn't watching them, I was watching Harry as he blinked and cried, staring up at the sky as it rained.

"'Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves: And the mome raths outgrabe..." Harry sang out into the night, I saw Dumbledore run out onto the steps but stop at the bottom.

Harry smiled at him.

"'And has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy." Harry recited.

For a moment I thought Harry had simply lost his mind. But covered in blood, sweat, tears and raindrops, Harry grinned by the dead body of Voldemort.

The Slytherins stood in shock while all the other houses clapped and a few yelled.

"Good job, mate!" To Harry, but Harry didn't seem to hear them.

Dumbledore took a step forward as Harrys eyes diverted back to towards the sky.

"The time has come." Harry announced. Dumbledore stopped.

No one was clapping any more, the students rushed the doorway to see what was the matter, but I was glued to the window.

Harry wiped his eyes but couldn't stop a single raindrop passing through as he closed his eyes.

"Mate?" I murmered weakly. But I could have sworn that when Harry cast his eyes back to the Great Hall windows, our eyes met and he winked.

"Of cabbages and kings!" Harry sang out once more and there was a great flash of fire in which the sword seemed to glow and Harry seemed to fly. That dissappeared as quickly as it had come.

Some girls screamed, Mcgonagall included as Harry seem to dissappear as well. But then an unearthly noise met our ears and we looked upwards to see a velvety green pheonix swoop by, beak open... Singing before flying off into the moonlight and as the final chime at midnight sounded, he and his music... Were gone.

Hermione had explained to me that what he was reciting was from Alice and Wonderland, and shortly after I found the letters which had been stuffed into his pillowcase along with his torn paperback copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass.

Dear Ron,

I just wanted to remind you, incase anything happened to me, that everything and anything that I did was my own choice. I knew that Voldemort would come, I saw him in my dream. He told me that either I come out and fight him or he would kill you. Since I was intending to kill him anyway, after Hermione's comforts I thought, "Why not now, save me some doing later on."... Geez, I hope I don't die. Then it wouldn't just be your death on my hands, it would be the entire wizarding worlds. Although since your reading this, either I died after killing Voldemort... Or Voldemorts reading this aloud and laughing like the idiot that he is. Well, just incase "Voldemort, you are an idiot, and an ugly one at that." But I don't want that to happen so I'll say it again.

I love you, Ronald Weasley. No matter how much that sounds like I'm proposing to you, I don't care. I do and that's that.

I know how cheesy that sounds But it's true. Oh geez, I'm crying again, I hope the splotches don't make the ink run. Thank you for everything, you were the first real friend I ever had. I want you to keep the books if anything happened to me and oh, why not? If I'm dead, then you can keep every single cent in my Gringotts account. If I'm dead then I won't be needing it.

On a lighter note. I think you'll enjoy Alice's Adventures, it really is a funny book. Fred and George are a bit like Tweedledee and Tweedledum...

Love,

Harry James Potter

I wondered what all the other letters said but I didn't dare ask anyone, because there seemed to be one reaction that everyone had after they received theirs (Hedwig recruited all the owls in the school to send the letters)... They had all stood up and ran from the room, crying like someone who just found out their kitten died.

I'll admit, after I read mine. I had cried. But nothing had beaten my mother's response. She had come down to the school and personally slapped Albus Dumbledore.

Yes, she slapped him. For not stopping Harry. For letting him leave, for everything... She slapped him, but he didn't have it healed, the bruise is still there. He had blatantly refused Madam Pomfrey's attempts at healing him. And my mum's handprint was still there when he stood up and made the announcement exactly a week later at midnight.

Dumbledore clapped his hands and the candles dimmed a bit.

"A week ago, at this exact time. We lost one of our brightest stars..." He stopped and looked towards the windows.

All eyes followed suit as Harry's snowy white own flew down like an angel with two letters clamped in her beak and deposited it at the Slytherin table, in the hands of Draco Malfoy before flying to the teachers table and dropping the other in the hands of Snape.

But Hedwig then flew back to Malfoy and perched on his shoulder, obviously expecting him to open the letter.

Dumbledore turned to Snape.

"Well... Open it." He said softly.

Snape gaped at the letter, before flipping it over. He even started to open it, but stopped and brought the letter closer to his eyes.

They widened further and a shocked gasp escaped his lips before he stood up... Eyes watering and fled the great hall.

As he passed by me I read on the back of it, in Harrys favourite green ink... In Harry's sloppy writing that I suddenly missed so much...

"I LOVE YOU"

I gasped, and half the Gryffindor table followed suit.

Draco Malfoy eyed the letter like it might explode before opening the envelope and reading the letter, he clamped his hand over his mouth as he gasped and stood up abruptly, flashing a glance at Dumbledore, he snatched the envelope off the table and yelled:

"ONE, TWO! ONE, TWO! AND THROUGH AND THROUGH THE VORPAL SWORD WENT SNICKER-SNACK! HE LEFT IT DEAD, AND WITH IT'S HEAD HE WENT GALUMPHING BACK!"

He cast one final glare in Dumbledore's direction and Dumbledore stood in shock as Draco Malfoy followed his potions master out of the Great Hall, the doors banging behind him.

"Of cabbages and kings." I muttered under my breath, before standing up and walking out of the Hall as well.

I couldn't stand it in there, everyone pitying, staring. Glancing at me. They knew that Harry was one of my few friends, they knew how much I relied on him, they thought they could pity me. I didn't need their pity, and neither did Harry. I'll bet that's why he left.

He'll come back, though. I know he will.

I saw Draco Malfoy as I walked out, I heard him murmer to himself as though he thought no one could hear him "And in your stead, I shall take his head, and be your champion."

He stepped out from behind the tapestry.

"Got a nice ring to it, doesn't it Weasley. He told me that he was thinking about telling you that. After the dream he had.... But he decided upon Jabberwocky, because it fit 'ole voldies uglies well-enough'." Draco chuckled, I don't think I'd ever heard him laugh. "You know what he told me? He told me he refused to die with any hate in his soul. He told me he loved me."

With that, Draco walked off, leaving me gaping at him. Hermione walked out after me shortly afterwords.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I turned to her..

"And in your stead, I shall take his head, and be your champion."

I wonder whether I could've stopped the fight that ensued next by being more huggy, but I suppose the fight needed to happen.

We were standing in the entrance hall, being scolded by Cho Chang.

"You saw him write these letters," She yelled, shaking hers in the air. "And you didn't say anything?! Nothing says 'kamikaze mission like letters and you didn't tell Dumbledore?!"

Hermione glowered.

"It's more his fault than ours!" Hermione yelled, I wondered if she was talking about Harry. Cho obviously thought she did because she opened her mouth to say something else. "Dumbledore just stood there and LET IT HAPPEN!"

"Don't blame Dumbledore, Hermione, you should've warned him. He was probably so surprised that..." Cho started.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"If it's anyone's fault, it's mine!" I yelled. "He had a dream that Voldemort" I shuddered, "was killing me and he said in MY letter."

I took mine out, I kept it in my pocket at all times.

"He said that he had to stop that from happening!"

They all stared at me in shock.

Hermione walked over and took the letter delicately from my hand, her eyes scanned it then she looked up at me.

"He left you his..."

"He's not dead." I said stubbornly.

"Ron.." She started.

"He..Is...Not...DEAD!" I yelled, attacting everyone in the halls attention.

They looked at me like I was mad.

"He's not, he's just not here." I reasoned. "Just because he's not here does not mean that he's dead!"

"I just wish we could know who he is!" The nurse muttered softly in the direction of the doctor at her side.

"As do I, Sandra, as do I." He said solemnly as he stitched up a wound on the boys leg. "But I wish I knew how he got all these injuries!"

Sandra ran her fingers through the boys hair softly.

"It doesn't matter where he got them, just how we get rid of them." She said. "The past is past, but right now he needs us to help him or he won't have a future."

The doctor sighed.

"I know, Sandra. We're doing the best we can, it's difficult when we don't know the names..."

He was interrupted when the nurse gasped, the boys eyes had fluttered open. She had thought he would be unconcious for a while with his extensive injuries.

"Hi." She said softly, petting his wild black hair.

He blinked and squinted, she placed his glasses back onto his face.

"Where...am...I?" He asked brokenly.

"The hospital, my boy." The doctor said, staring at him in shock.

He coughed.

"Harry." He said suddenly.

The nurse looked at him strangely.

"What's wrong, dear?" She asked worridly, putting a hand on his forehead.

"My name is Harry Potter."