Charm
Sora can't look Kairi in the eye as he hands her lucky charm over.
It's broken. In pieces. He's kind of broken and in pieces, too. That's what Xehanort does to people. Tears them up and spits them out and throws the broken pieces down on the ground to stomp on them some more.
"I'm sorry," he manages to say, but it's not enough. It will never be enough. The charm is a sign of the promise he and Kairi made, and he broke it. He's broken. Nightmares haunt him at night, flashbacks during the day. There's no escape from what he's done, from what he was forced to do.
She takes it from him, wordlessly. He ignores how soft and warm her hand feels in his. The soothing touch that spreads from her fingers up his arm. He doesn't deserve to be soothed, he deserves to be punished and yelled at and scolded for letting this happen.
But Kairi says nothing. She is silent when before she had so much to say. He dares to glance at her face, just for a few seconds. Her eyes are sad as she looks at the broken charm, and his stomach drops and his heart breaks all over again.
He didn't think there was anything left inside of him that could still break, but he was wrong.
Her fingers tighten around the ruined charm, her thumb brushing against the one piece that remains somewhat intact, the part of the shell with his face carefully drawn on it. The rest of the shells that she painstakingly wove together to keep him safe are in as pitiful a state as he is.
He feels like a failure. No, he is a failure. He couldn't keep himself safe. He couldn't keep her safe. He couldn't even keep this charm intact, couldn't return it to her whole, couldn't return himself to her whole.
She had to rescue him. Had to put herself in danger to save his poisoned soul, his darkened heart. And what for? All she got back was a bunch of broken pieces, a shell of who he once was.
Her lower lip trembles and her eyes water. Yup, he's officially hit rock bottom. He's the scum of the earth. He wants to crawl back into the pit she drug him up out of, because that's where he belongs. Not here by her side.
He turns away because he can't bear to look at her anymore. Can't take her disappointment and sorrow. Walks away and climbs into his rowboat and rows to the Main Island so she can't see the tears in his eyes and the regret in his heart.
When sleep comes to him that night, he sees her face in his dreams. Hears her voice in his head as she calls out to him in the darkness.
He runs away. The darkness has no business being around the light. Xehanort's gone but the darkness is still here inside him. His heart is dripping with it now. It seeps into everything he touches and poisons it, breaks the lucky charm into pieces over and over again till he wakes up covered in a cold sweat.
This is his life now. Regret and sorrow are his constant companions, his new best friends.
At least he's not alone.
Something brings him back to the Play Island the next day. He doesn't know what it is.
No, that's a lie. He knows exactly what it is. He's scared of seeing Kairi again, and yet he wants to. Wants to hear her berate him like he's berated himself so many times already. He'd rather face her wrath than see her heartbreak.
Maybe, just maybe, she'll finally snap. He's been nothing but a disappointment, after all. Leaving her behind. Breaking his promises. Breaking her charm. Breaking her heart. He was too much of a coward yesterday to even face her. He owes it to her to do at least that today.
So he sits on the paopu tree and waits. Somehow he just knows she'll come. He waits all day and it doesn't even faze him, because this is the only thing that matters anymore.
The sun is getting low in the sky and the colors of the sunset are reflected on the water when she finally does. She doesn't say a single thing, just sits on the paopu tree a safe distance from him. Good. He's a dangerous guy to be around. She should keep her distance.
"Sora," she begins, and he's listening. He can't bring himself to look at her yet, but he's listening. "Why did you run from me?"
It's a good question, and it deserves a good answer. But he has none. So he tells her the truth instead.
"I was afraid."
"What were you afraid of?"
"Myself."
She makes a humming noise, like she doesn't buy it. "Were you afraid of yourself, or were you afraid of disappointing me?"
He considers this but says nothing. It's all too complicated to put into words.
"Sora, when I saw the charm— yes, I was sad. Yes, I was disappointed. Maybe even a little bit heartbroken, if I'm being honest."
She pauses, and he flinches, waiting for the rest, bracing himself for the worst.
"But I wasn't disappointed with you. I was angry at Xehanort. I mean, he was the one who broke it, wasn't he?"
She's wrong about that, and that's what makes it so much worse. But he has to set the record straight, even if it means she'll never forgive him.
"No, it was me. He made me break it, but it was me."
"That's what I thought," she says, her voice pained. "I was heartbroken that he hurt you like that, that he used me to hurt you. How could I not be, after everything we've been through?"
His heart pounds. He can't believe his ears. She isn't upset with him, she's upset for him. What a difference that makes.
He steals a glance at her, and one hand is resting on her lap, the other on the paopu tree.
"You didn't break your promise, Sora. You brought my charm back to me. Broken, yes, but broken things can be fixed. Broken things can be mended."
"Can they though?" His eyes flicker up to hers, finally managing to meet her steady gaze.
"You tell me." She scoots closer to him and reaches into her pocket. She finds his hand and places something in it. Something familiar, something that rests in his palm like it belongs there. Like it's supposed to be there.
She removes her hand, and it's her charm. It's the broken pieces put back together and combined with several new ones. Lots of tiny stitches weave it all together to form one magnificent whole. The brokenness is still there, it isn't gone, but she's turned it into something new and intricate and beautiful.
"The coming battle is unlike anything we've faced so far," she says. "This charm will make sure we won't be separated again."
The face piece stares up at him. Tells him that if it can be repaired, so can he. And not just repaired. Made stronger than ever before.
His fingers close over the charm. "Thank you, Kairi." He could say a lot of other things, but he doesn't need to. The charm is a symbol of his promise to her, and with her magic, nothing in all the worlds is strong enough to break that. Trying to put all that into words is unnecessary because she already knows.
He tucks the charm into his pocket, and it rests there like it never even left. He might still be broken, he might not be entirely whole, but he knows he's ready to face whatever lies ahead now.
Because he's not alone. He's not completely broken. She's by his side. She's helping him put the pieces back together, and nothing will ever separate them again.
That's what helps him move forward. That's what drives him to the final battle. If anything is worth fighting for, it's her.
And after it's all over, when they're back home and the worlds are safe, he hands the charm back to her. There's no reason for them to be apart anymore. They weren't separated then and they sure won't be separated now.
"We're back," he says softly.
She smiles. "We're home."
"It's over."
"It is."
He stares out at the sea and sighs. "Our journey's over now, too. Yours, and mine."
"Yes, but now we can start a new one." She leans her head against his shoulder as they watch the sun rise over the water. "Together."
He smiles at that because she's right. The pieces are all lined up. They've put them back together into one beautiful whole.
They make a new promise after that. No, not a promise, an oath. They swear to always be together and seal their vow with a paopu fruit. And as they do, the charm that kept them going strong all this time rests between them, reminding them of the bond they share, of the promise they made.
It wouldn't feel right to have things any other way.
This story is dedicated to Alja. Thank you for always leaving me such lovely feedback and for giving me the idea to have Soranort be the one to break the charm! I'm quite happy with how this turned out and I hope you will be, too :)
Just a few quick notes. The recap videos with Chirithy have hinted that someone is giving someone else a (new) charm in KH3, and while we don't know for sure who it is yet, it would make sense for Kairi to be the one to give a new charm to Sora. I wondered why that was, and what made the most sense to me is if something happens to the original. And thus the idea for this story was born.
Sora's quote at the end is from the Memorial Leaflet, and I based it off of goldpanner's translation (with a few tweaks). Kairi's quote about the charm is from the recap videos with Chirithy, and I also used goldpanner's translation for that.
Thank you for reading!