You Might Be Gone, But I Know You're Here

I turn over on my side. I haven't left this bed in over a week. The grief is just weighting me down. I don't think I could live without him. The Winter War is over, Aizen is dead. I was in critical condition, but I pulled through. When I woke up, I heard Ichigo was had also been in critical condition, same as me. The only difference is...

I pulled through.

When I heard didn't make it, it felt as if my entire world just fell apart.

Unohana said my wounds are healed and that I could go, but I continue to lie here.

Matsumoto comes by a lot. I could see she's suffering because of me. I'm making her worry. I just, can't get the strength to rise.

I don't really eat much, only enough so headaches and stomach cramps don't come. And enough to keep me alive. I wonder if they think I'm suicidal. I don't think I am, but who knows.

I can barely sleep.

Every time I close my eyes I see his big, goofy smile. Smiling like everything's okay.

Then I open my eyes and see the room that is now like my home.

I can't stand it. Sometimes I hear him, calling my name.

The thought of never being in his arms again causes me to cry and scream.

Unohana sometimes restrains me.

I have fit and start to...just...lose it.

I hear her outside the door. Talking to Yamamoto. About how unstable I am.

I don't mind. I know I'm only hurting myself.

She must've thought I'd get over it, like how got over Hinamori, after she was killed.

But this is different.

Ichigo...

Ichigo was the one.

He brightened up my world.

He brought joy to my life (or afterlife)

he cheered me up when I grieved over Hinamori.

He was always there when I needed him.

Now, he's gone.

And I don't know what to do.

He was my light that guided me.

Now, I'm in the dark.

I close my eyes, not willingly, but they've just become so heavy.

There he was.

He was always there when I closed my eyes.

This time I couldn't open them.

'Toushiro.'

I hear his voice.

'Toushiro, get up.'

Is he talking to me?

'Stop layin' around!'

No, he's only in my mind.

'Come on, you can't lay in bed for the rest of your life!'

Yes, I can.

'No, you can't!'

Now I'm arguing with myself.

'I might be gone, but I haven't left you, and I never will.'

'Get out of bed.'

But...

I open my eyes and look outside. It's night. I remember it being bright outside. I must've fallen asleep. I sit up in my bed and look around. I see Hyorinmaru leaning against the wall. I haven't spoken to the dragon in what seemed like ages. I make my decision. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. When I go to stand it hurts and I nearly fall because I haven't used my legs in so long. I grab Hyorinmaru and quietly exit the 4th Division. As I step outside I shiver slightly as a cool breeze blows my white yukata. I breath in the fresh air, which my lungs welcome. I slowly head over to the one place that's on my mine.

Up on a cliff, that over looks the Sereitei. There, in the ground, on a mound of dirt lies Ichigo's zanpakuto, Zangetsu. This is a shrine for Ichigo here in the Soul Society, since his body is buried in the real world. I remove Hyorinmaru from his sheath and place him on the mound, next to Zangetsu.

I take a seat at the edge of the cliff, allowing my legs to dangle over the edge.

Even though we may be far apart, even if er never see each other. I know, that there's a bond that connects our hearts together. And I know, that that bond can never be broken.

I look up at the moon.

"The moon's beautiful, isn't it, Ichigo?" I say out loud. Even though I don't get a spoken response, at the corner of my eye I can see Zangetsu glisten in the moonlight.

That's enough for me.

End

IM ALIVE PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem...just a little one-shot I had half written for...quite a long time now. Felt like finishing it, im trying to start writing some yaoi. As for my other stories if you read The Silver Wolf Demon and/or Spring is Coming...(hides in trash can) nothing is written for either one...WAIT no I lied TSWD has like on page down...(sweat drops) ya I've been really lazy lately and preoccupied...BLAME MY Wii!!!!!

I finally got one with my own money...but now im broke (sobs)

ANYWHO hopefully I'll get back in the swing of things.

LUVS TO ALL MY FANS (hearts)