Melissa came into the bedroom wearing nothing but all her clothes. Soon, she started removing them, but had trouble with the buttons on her pants. She always had trouble with that. She had never learned to unbutton pants and it haunted her to this very day. Fortunately, she had help.

"Come over here and let me help you," Sheriff Stilinski said. Melissa came over to him, tripped, but quickly stood up again and pretended it never happened. The horny sheriff tried to unbuckle her pants but had just as much trouble as she did. Suddenly, he realized they were sweat pants and didn't have a buckle. So he just pull her pants down to the floor. He stared intently at her underwear. Clearly, it was laundry day. He pull them aside a bit so he could see her pubes. Boing! He was ready now.

She stood there in her thin, plaid, slightly irregular, wool, Hello Kitty lingerie she got on clearance at Wal-Mart, Melissa feeling so exposed. Did he like her body? She looked down as his crotch and saw his big old boner turning his pants into a tent. Was he horny because of her? She pressed her hand against his forehead and absorbed his memory with the power she had now that she was a banshee. The flood of thoughts overwhelmed her. Then she caught him looking at her boobs. That made her feel sexy.

"Mrs. McCall," he said sexily. "Would you mind handing me those keys over there? I accidentally handcuffed myself to my desk six hours ago and have been waiting forever to someone to come find me."

"You mean this key?" Melissa turned around and bent over, putting her big juicy booty on display for everyone to see. She reached up very high to grab the key since it was on the top shelf. This position was very hard for her to pull off and she ended up tooting a little. As she stretched her arms further up, she began to pop out of her bra. As she simultaneously bent over and reached up, she started to also bend her head down to lick her boobie. Unable to see what she was doing with her hand, she just started swatting at the papers on the top shelf, knocking damn near everything on the ground. A paperweight fell and knocked her clean on the top of her head. While still bending over, fishing around on the top shelf, and licking herself, she reached down with her free hand and picked up the paperweight. She started to rub it on her crotch and began to make sexy noises like, "Mmm, mmm." Sheriff Stilinski was so turned on that he accidentally knocked his big bonner on his desk which caused a pencil to begin to roll off. Melissa quickly lifted her leg up to catch to long, hard, erect pencil before it could hit the ground. Bent over, leg on his desk, licking her boobie, rubbing a paperweight on her lady bits, and reaching up to the top shelf, she finally grabbed the key. She slowly brought it to her mouth, and gently ran her tongue all over the hot, wet, cold iron. Realizing she now ruined this key, she quickly reached up and grabbed another one.

"here you go, officer," she said handing him the key.

"Thank you." He took the key from her and ran it through the paper shredder. Oh, no! His tie got caught in the shredder! Melissa and the sheriff panicked! His face was being dragged closer and closer to the razor sharp blades! Soon, he would feel the sweet kiss of death. Melissa looked around the room for something to help. She saw some scissors sitting on top of the phone. She knocked the scissors aside and called the fire department. The firemen arrived and just in the nick of time were able to unplug the paper shredder from the outlet two feet away from him. "Thank you. You saved my life."

"All in a day's work, the fireman said before they left.

Melissa took off all her clothes. Then she took off all the sheriff's clothes. She saw his penis. He was so embarrassed.

Melissa reached down and touched him down there. The sheriff's eyes rolled back in his head and his tongue rolled back in his throat, choking him a little. She grabbed a hold of him real hard and yanked it as hard as she could. The sheriff let out a moan of pleasure as she kept pulling it harder and harder. She knew from experience that boys like it the harder you pull. My ultimate goal of this story is for it to be mentioned in a police report one day. With each pull, the muscles in his member got harder and harder. "Actually," said Melissa, "they're blood vessels, not muscles idiot." "Oh no!" screamed the Sheriff! "All that time working it out multiple times a day has been wasted!" "it's okay said Melissa I forgive you." "Can you ever forgive me?" "I already said I did! Weren't you listening?" "No, I was playing "Cwazy Cupcakes." It's really fun. My fantasy is to do sex while playing games on my cell phone." "Then let me make your fantasy come true." "Do you want to know what my fantasy is?" "Not really, but you can tell me anyway." My fantasy is to use toys. Like G.I. Joes? No, you idiot! I want to use Bratz dolls. "So you want me to stick one up…" the shiriff didn't even get to finish. Before Melissa cut him off. "NO!" she screamed sexily, piercing his ear drums with her siren call making them bleed a little. I want to feel the smooth plastic breasts. Will that turn you on?

"It's turning me on already!" the shiriff yelled. "Uh oh!" The shiriff finished and peed all over her.

"It's okay," Melissa said. "It happens to everybody."

"Really?"

"No. You've disappointed me like no man ever has. I'm going to tell all my friends about this. I'm also going to tell them you're really small and you never wash your dirty butt. I'm also going to tell all my friends to start calling you Sheriff Butt."

Sheriff Stilinski started crying. His tiny wang was no one's business! Also, it was hard to wash his butt. Also, it was dirty and he didn't want to touch it. WHAT WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO! HOW DARE HE THREATEN HER! HE'S THE MOTHER LOVING SHERIFF OF THIS TOWN!

"Wait a second," the sheriff said. "Who are you going to tell! You don't have any friends. You're either at the hospital all the time or home not parenting your child! And if you tell anyone how small I am, I'm going to tell them how small you are down there!"

"John," said Melissa. "Please don't do that. I was just angry. Do you want to do it again. I'm still horny and stuff." Melissa took off all her clothes and shook it like she owned it. She farted a little. It smelled like roses.

"My name's not John," the sheriff said, destroying Fanon everywhere and probably angering the other authors on this site. But that's okay. He had a gun.

Melissa took off all her clothes. As her sexy clothes dropped to the floor, so did the sheriff's jaw. The muscles in his bomer got real real hard. Melissa was too horny to correct him this time. She started rubbing her body really fast. She rubbed her booby so hard it gave her an Indian burn. That's racist. Then she turned around and grabbed her butt cheeks. She looked around at the sheriff, who was staring intently at her vagina. She glanced down at his pee-pee really quick before looking him in the eyes (she didn't want him to know she looked at it. She'd be so embarrassed). She started bouncing her butt up and down using her hands.

"Do you like what you see?" she asked the horny sheriff.

"Yes," he replied. His eyes were closed. He was fantasizing about what her naked body would look like.

"Do you want to motorboat my butt?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied. His eyes were closed. He was fantasizing about what her naked body would look like.

He got down and his knees and motor boated her butt cheeks. BIG MISTAKE! It was really stinky! Why do guys like this? He thought. But he kept doing it. After all, he didn't want to make her self-conscious. Pfft, her butt said. That's nasty.

The sheriff got up on his desk and spread his legs, ready for her to take him. She put her clothes back on. She winked at him all sexy like. She took all her clothes off and they fell to the floor. They started rubbing their junk together. The sheriff was so horny he sneezed right in her face.

Melissa started dancing for him. Slowly, she began to unhook her bra. Unfortunately, the clasps weren't cooperating. The sheriff got some scissors and cut it off for her. That was nice, but now he's ruined a perfectly good bra and she'll have to buy another. Hopefully after all the sex, he'll reimburse her for the cost. She'll just need to remember to keep her receipt. Then she took off her clothes and they fell to the floor. The sheriff did the same and his floor fell to the clothes as well.

He ran right at her making her even more horny. Her mouth got really wet, so she spit. He slipped and fell inside her. It was so hot. "Ogh, schrffeff!" she tried to say. Unfortunately, her mouth was full. Oh, yeah. You know what it was full with. He took his thumb out of her mouth so she could speak. "Your fingers taste so unique," she said. "I had a ham sandwich for lunch," he replied. Ham was her favorite. She was so hot right now. Her entire body felt so horny. She wanted him more than ever.

She took her clothes off as he watched. She teased him a little. She continued to tease him by saying he put on a little wait. He got a little sad, but she was only teasing. After all her clothes were off, she was naked. The sheriff looked at her naked body. She was so hard right now. She really hoped this time he wouldn't be premature and actually peed inside her for once. That felt so good.

The sheriff lit up an e-cig. That was really good sex, he said. Unfortunately, he didn't say that out loud so Melissa began to cry because she thought he didn't like it. He thought about comforting her, but didn't. He thought if she developed a complex, it might be easier to have sex with her again sometime. I'm just kidding. The sheriff was a really nice guy. He waited until they were married to do her so she knew he really loved her. She stopped crying because she was so happy now that she was a wife again.

"Mrs. Melissa Stilinski. I'll never get tired of saying that. Mrs. Melissa Stilinski. Mrs. Melissa Stilinski. Mrs. Melissa Stilinski. Never mind. I was wrong. I'm sick of saying it. But I'm not sick of being it. I'll never get sick of you. But I have a question. What's your first name?"

The sheriff leaned over and whispered in her ear. He was a spitter, so she had to wipe her ear off afterwards. But it was okay because now she knew something nobody else knew. She knew his true name. The name his mother spoke when he was first born. The name, that if spoken backwards, could undo his entire existence! Now, she held true dominion over him. He was her puppet to control! All shall fall to her might! But she probably wouldn't do that because of the love she felt for this man. It warmed her whole body, especially her special area that only her husband was allowed to play with.

"I love you," she said to the sheriff.

"What!? Really? Awesome-sauce!" he replied. Then they gave each other the greatest high five the world had ever known.