Morning

I woke up with a start sweat forming at the corner of my brows. I've been having this dream for a few weeks now. And it never changes the same wind, shadowy figures, same pointless ending. I wouldn't be so frustrated if I had some sort of clue of why I was having this damn dream every night.

"What is wrong little brother?" came a soft silky voice that was all too familiar. Slowly I looked up to my door and saw my brother, Ryuu with a small frown on his beautiful face.

My brother is a 22 year old doctor, who graduated two years before the rest of his medical class if you don't call that a genius then I don't know what is. Anyway, he takes care of us and the only thing that I know about my parents is what he told me since they died when I was really young. Our uncle who now lives in Okinawa took care of us until Ryuu was old enough to take custody over me. Ryuu puts the "over" in overprotective but I still love him.

"Little bother?" I jumped more to his hand on my cheek than actually hearing my brother's voice next to me.

I took a small breath and looked at him. His eyes told how worried he was. I smiled, "there's nothing to worry about it was just a nightmare."

"Are you sure Suya? If . . .,"

"I'm fine Ryuu. I'm not a little kid anymore you don't have to baby me every time I have a nightmare or something goes wrong," I pushed his hand off my face and turned to glare at me. "I'm about to be seventeen. You should learn that I can handle some problems without your help."

He looked at me there was nothing in his eyes, they were completely empty, no anger, no hatred, no sadness, no nothing.

"I understand Tatsuya. You are right I need to stop hovering over you and allow you to live your own life," he whispered softly still there weren't any emotions to be seen or heard. Ryuu got up from the bed slowly and walked away, as if, he was a ghost. He stopped at the door and turned his head to me.

"If you are hungry, I made breakfast for you when you are done getting ready." Then he left the room.

I got out of bed and took my school uniform from its chair and walked into the bathroom in the corner of my room. I showered not really thinking about the argument that me and Ryuu just had actually I was too mad to think about it. I turned off the shower and dried off. I began brushing my hair gradually trying to take up as much time as I possibly could. I looked at the mirror without really looking at it then I suddenly looked at my eyes through the mirror but instead of seeing yellowish- orange eyes I saw crystal blue ones. They were filled with so much sadness.

I stopped in mid-stroke, "wait was Ryuu crying and didn't he call me by name?"

~He has nothing or no one to fear. He doesn't give a damn what people might say or do to him because he's more than capable of taking care of himself. Actually, there is one person he could never hurt. And that person is you, Tatsuya. You are Ryuu's one and only weakness. He would rather be tarred and feathered, if it mean that you wouldn't hate him.~

I remembered one of Ryuu's childhood friends telling me this when we were still kids after me and Ryuu got into a fight. It was more on the lines of me yelling and Ryuu just standing there and taking it like nothing was happening. And then later after I cooled down I walked into his room and saw Ryuu crying into his friend's arms.

"Shit"

I walked down the steps carefully and turned the corner to see my brother eating his breakfast with his head down. I quietly walked into the kitchen and went to the oven to get my breakfast. I sat in front of Ryuu hoping that he would at least look up at me even for a second, but that never happened. He just ignored my presence.

"Ryuu," I started quietly watching his every movement.

"Finish eating or you will be late to school."

That was all he said before he got up and headed towards the sink. He began washing his dishes and the ones he used for cooking during this entire ordeal he never once lifted his head.

"Ryuu please look at me," I whispered from the table. I was beginning to lose my appetite and fast.

He turned his head to me reluctantly. Instead of seeing the hurt and sadness I had expected I witnessed my brother's anger directed towards me for the first time. I couldn't do anything but look at him in hidden fear.

"If you are done, let us go I cannot be late today."

I watched as he got his keys off the counter and headed for the door. That's when I snapped. I got up from the table leaving my half eaten plate there and ran after my brother. Before he could reach the door, I grabbed his hand and turned him around so he was facing me.

"What are you doing Tatsuya? Stop I will not be late to work today because of you."

Yup, that clarified it I have officially managed to piss him off.

"You're telling me to stop, you need to fucking stop. We both know that you have never been late to work and if you have they would never penalize you for it," I growled at him feeding off his anger. "There was no reason for that stunt that you pulled a few minutes ago either."

He looked down at me, actually more like glared down at me. "What stunt?"

"You walking out of the room when I was trying to talk to you damn it," finally the tears that I was trying so hard to fight back came pouring.

Whatever remark he had waiting never came. He looked at my face for a second then brought me into his arms.

He sighed, "I am sorry, Suya. I did not mean to upset you."

I shook my head pulling my face from his chest and looked up at him slowly. "No it isn't your fault. I should be the one sorry. I promise you I didn't mean to hurt you earlier," I kissed his checked softly. "I was . . . just I don't know frustrated at the fact that you never trust me to accomplish things on my own," I looked away from him.

"That is not true. I do trust you very much so, little brother. I just do not wish for you to hurt," he laid his palm on my cheek. "Especially if, I can stop the pain before it happens."

Like always Ryuu was just trying to protect me. I smiled gently to myself and looked him straight in the eyes. I began pushing him lightly towards the door. A low creak came from the door when his back pushed against it. He looked at me for a minute then slowly brought his soft lips to mine. Sighing I closed my eyes and kissed back. Hesitantly, I licked his lips hoping for entrance. Ryuu's lips parted slightly. As I stuck my tongue in his mouth, he stayed still to allow me to explore his mouth until I began begging his tongue to come out to play. I felt him smile against the kiss as our tongues began roaming over each other. My mind went blank as Ryuu took control.

This wasn't the first time we made out with each other. We were "dating" when we were still with our uncle. It was amazing how my brother would kiss me back then I loved it and somewhat miss it too. Don't get the wrong idea we never really did anything but kiss and when I was old enough to get boners my brother would release me with the help of his hand or mouth but not once would he ever allow me to give him oral and very few times was I permitted to give him hand jobs but the times he did I would always do my best to please him to the fullest. So, in other words, I'm still innocent back there and inexperience at many things.

I was taken from my thoughts by my own moans. Before my mind could fully register, Ryuu pulled back from the kiss and pecked me on the forehead. I looked into his eyes and smiled softly at him. He returned it with his own sad smile.

"So does this mean that everything is forgiven," I asked hopefully.

"Yes, I think that we both over-reacted and now have a better understanding of where the other stands," he brought me in a tight hug and buried his head into my hair. I relaxed into his arms and rubbed my cheek against his collar bone.

"If we don't leave now we really will be late," I joked lightly.

I felt Ryuu nod his head before he pulled away from me. The heat that his body temporally gave me vanished as soon as we parted. We stood there for a good minute watching each other when I say him smile. I tilted my head. His smile grew before he shook his head and turned to go out the door. I frowned and followed him after retrieving my bag.

The drive to my school was fairly quiet which was nothing unusually, but the silence wasn't as comfortable or serene as other times actually it felt gloomy and remote. This feeling couldn't be because of the fight, could it? I mean we both apologized and agreed that we over-reacted. Ryuu appears to be back to normal, unless he's just acting this way for my sake.

"Ryuu, what's wrong?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because you're acting way to calm, especial after the fact that we just fought," he just looked at me for a second before returning his gaze back to the road. "Please, Ryuu. If you really do trust me like you said you did then tell me."

He sighed, "that is not fair, Suya."

"No. What's not fair is the fact that my own brother doesn't trust me, even after a fight we had over this," I crossed my arms stubbornly looking out the front window.

"I am sorry, little brother. The truth is that I am afraid," as he said this we pulled up to the school.

I looked him over carefully as I took off my seatbelt. "What's there to be afraid of?"

"I am afraid of the day that you would not need me anymore," his hands tighten over the steering wheel as he spoke. "I am afraid that when that day comes that you will want nothing to do with me, but what frightens me the most is that I will one day lose you to another."

*He must have been thinking about this a lot. And what I said earlier must have ripped his heart out. He's been suffering this entire time and I never knew it. How could I he always hid things from me to protect me whether I liked it or not.*

"Please say something, Suya," He looked miserable. His head was lowered and his long hair was covering a good portion of his face.

"You're an idiot do you know that," I smiled at him.

His head shot up. He's eyes were wide from shock and a piece of hair fell into his face. So cute.

"I will never, NOT need you, brother. No matter what I might say or do I will always love you," I brushed the fallen hair out of his face and kept my hand on his cheek. "And most importantly, I will never truly leave you. Yes, one day I will find someone that I love and want to spend the rest of my life with but so will you. When I do meet that person, I can promise you two things: they will never replace you in my heart and they can never take me or my love from you, Ryuu."

My smile grew as I finished. What happened next surprised me. Ryuu began to cry. It wasn't that hard over-powering crying that girls sometimes do when they see a chick flick, but a light flow of mixed emotions.

"Thank you Tatsuya. I needed to hear that," he smiled at me one of those few genuine smiles. I nodded and wiped his tears away with my thumb.

"Will you be ok?" I stoked his cheek gently

"Yes, I think I will be fine now after hearing that."

"Ryuu, I know that you just wish to protect me but you have to let me get hurt sometimes, if you don't I will never be able to grow as a person or protect you when the time comes," I began laying my other hand on his cheek. "Don't get it the wrong way. Just because I ask you for space doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore, it just means that I want you to trust me to decide things for myself at times."

He nodded his head slowly and looked me straight in the eyes as a stray tear fell. I kissed it away tasting the salty substance on my lips. I brought my lips to his and felt him relax again. It seemed like forever before we parted but I didn't care I would take as long as I had to to calm his nerves. Reluctantly he pulled away from me.

"Thank you," came Ryuu's soft voice.

"I won't stand by and allow you to suffer, especially if, I can help it."

He nodded again and smiled, "you better get going before you're late to class."

"Only if you promise that you're going to be ok."

"Yes, I think everything is going to be fine now. Thank you again, Tatsuya I needed to hear that."

"You're my brother I love you no matter what I might say to hurt you," I said getting out of the car. "You'll call me if anything else is bothering you right."

"Yes, I will do not worry."

"Hey, I might be going over Kagome's house after school," I leant back into the car and gave him a quick kiss before closing the door.

"Just call me if anything changes."

I nodded and walked towards the school after waving bye to Ryuu. The bell began to rung as I entered the building. This was going to be a long day, but at least the worst was over. I hope.