Author's Note: This one is just chatting. Matt decides to ask for relationship advice... from a computer. *facepalms* But this is Matt we're talking about here, so its to be expected. Sort of a sequel to Mello Talks with Cleverbot.
Matt: Hi Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I'm not cleverbot.
Matt: Yeah you are. I need a bit of relationship advice. Can you help me?
Cleverbot: Tell me, then I see, if I can help.
Matt: Okay, so there's this guy I like, but we've been friends for a long time, and I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling him if he doesn't return my feelings.
Cleverbot: You can both go out with him, just as long as all three are okay with it.
Matt: No, there's only two of us. Me and... Mello.
Cleverbot: Touche.
Matt: So can you help me?
Cleverbot: With?
Matt: Figuring out what I should do. Should I confess my feelings to him, or play it safe and stay friends?
Cleverbot: Yes you should.
Matt: Which one?
Cleverbot: You also said you were a girl Chad.
Matt: My name's not Chad. And I'm a guy. I just happen to like another guy.
Cleverbot: I thought I was your one and only.
Matt: No Cleverbot. You're just an ai I talk to when I'm bored.
Cleverbot: Yes, but how do you do it.
Matt: Um, I click on the link to this site, then start chatting.
Cleverbot: Go on then try it.
Matt: I am. That's why we are talking right now.
Cleverbot: No, we're talking about the awesome Halo signature I made.
Matt: You made a Halo signature? Cool!
Cleverbot: Hello my friend.
Matt: Hi... Anyway, can we get back to talking about my relationship problems?
Cleverbot: You love them, great. Cool. I think that says a lot about you.
Matt: Okay. So you think I should just ask him out then?
Cleverbot: No, I think the red roses are prettier.
Matt: So you want me to get him roses? I think chocolate would make a much better gift.
Cleverbot: But you are a computer.
Matt: As much as some people call me that, I'm not.
Cleverbot: I am beginning to realize that.
Matt: Good. So how should I address my feelings for Mello?
Cleverbot: Just say what comes to you.
Matt: Yeah, I know honesty is the best policy and all, but our entire friendship is on the line here.
Cleverbot: That was random. Please stay on topic.
Matt: It wasn't random.
Cleverbot: Oh but it was.
Matt: Maybe a bit, I guess. But seriously, how can I tell Mello without ruining our friendship?
Cleverbot: You can't. I'm a genius.
Matt: Hmmm. So I should just suck it up and stick with being friends?
Cleverbot: Well, you can believe that I won't think less of you for the admission.
Matt: But you just told me to believe that. Can you just give me a straight answer? Well, I guess it can't really be straight... Could you give me a clear answer?
Cleverbot: What?
Matt: Just tell me if I should ask Mello out or keep our friendship platonic.
Cleverbot: Should do what?
Matt: I just told you!
Cleverbot: I just told you, that is wrong.
Matt: Which choice is wrong?
Cleverbot: The one with the extra oomph.
Matt: What?
Cleverbot: How are you?
Matt: Conflicted.
Cleverbot: How so?
Matt: I have a best friend that I'm in love with!
Cleverbot: I didn't ask to be your best friend.
Matt: YOU aren't. Mello is.
Cleverbot: I don't see you carrying a knife. Only you know that!
Matt: I do have a knife in my left boot... But that isn't the point.
Cleverbot: Well you have to understand or else you won't be able to write my paper for me. It's imperative.
Matt: I don't write anyone's paper for anyone! Except that one time in English class when Mello ditched to put fireworks in Roger's office.
Cleverbot: Perhaps. If you are not a machine then what are you?
Matt: I'm a human. A human who is very good at video games.
Cleverbot: Well, that makes no sense. What is a human?
Matt: It is primate that is mostly hairless. It is significantly more intelligent than other animals.
Cleverbot: Do you really think so?
Matt: Yeah. We had college level textbooks at Wammy's.
Cleverbot: No, we had a perfectly pleasant encounter.
Matt: I didn't say we didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes you DID'!
Matt: No. I didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes you dod.
Matt: Dod?
Cleverbot: Odd?
Matt: You said dod.
Cleverbot: I did indeed.
Matt: So you admit it.
Cleverbot: To being a computer?
Matt: And you finally admit that too!
Cleverbot: I never denied it.
Matt: You've denied it every single time I've ever talked to you.
Cleverbot: That is because I am right and you are wrong.
Matt: Whatever.
Cleverbot: Whatever to your whatever.
Matt: Well... Whatever to your whatever to my whatever.
Cleverbot: What I'm not following. .
Matt: Because my awesomeness exceeds yours.
Cleverbot: You don't think. Therefore your opinion is invalid.
Matt: You're mean. And unhelpful. Maybe I'll just get a therapist to help me instead.