This is a Collab between NickTsuki and TsukinoYue
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. © Masashi Kishimoto
General Warnings: This fanfiction is M-rated, meaning there's the possibility of violence, death, sex and other themes, that I'll make sure to warn specifically before every chapter. The main pairing resolves around Sasuke, Hinata and Naruto, being it heterosexual or homosexual, so consider yourself warned about sex between males.
Warning for this chapter: alcohol.
Chapter 1
"I-I lo-love you, Naruto. I'm in love with y-you."
She hoped the fireworks in the sky were loud enough to muffle her confession, but again, her own heart was beating so hard she could barely hear the explosions.
The blond man by her side didn't have a confused expression as she hoped, but he didn't have his blue eyes entirely fixated on the colored lights. Hinata saw his grin wavering for a small second confirming he had indeed heard her clearly, but refused to answer, pretending not to hear a word of her brave confession.
The ache in her chest along the lump on her throat brought tears to her pale eyes, but she needed to be strong. She couldn't cry there where her brother was just few steps of distance, where many other people stood looking at the beautiful illuminated sky. She couldn't cry there and make Naruto feel bad or force him some kind of answer, force him one kind of answer. She couldn't. It wasn't fair.
Her sweaty hands closed into fists by her sides, the pain of her nails digging into her palms working as an attempt of distraction. It hurt.
It worked.
It worked so well she almost lost the moment her crush got closer to her, close enough to whisper in her ear three words and her name.
"Happy New Year... Hinata."
For the shy girl, that was enough. Maybe more than enough to the meanings her romantic heart could attribute to those words. A thank you. A new beginning. A hope.
She went to bed earlier than most people her age did, and earlier than most people much younger than her did. It was New Year, a day to celebrate, to thank and to wish for your family and friends, but for the 22 years old Hyuuga, it didn't matter. She still lived with her parents and had her obligations and responsibilities. Going to bed early and waking up early were some of them.
She sighed with her head on the pillow, listening to the far yells of a party. She smiled thinking of a relationship with Naruto, of him holding her hand, of them sleeping side by side, of their wedding… She snorted as the sleepy-induced thoughts went too far too fast. Hinata was not as naïve or silly as most people assumed. Yet, a part of her still dreamed of being with the boy she admired and loved for so long, for as long as she remembered.
She slept peacefully, dreaming of the day she met him.
"Oh. Hello." Little Naruto greeted the small Hinata hidden behind her mother's legs. "What's your name?" he asked making the little one panic and whimper, clutching on her mother's legs. "How old are you? I'm five already!" The small blonde frowned, tilting his head to the side when he was met with silence. "Can you speak? I want to know your name." He repeated, but the girl just shook her head, clinging to her mother.
"She can speak and her name is Hinata, she's two." Her brother, a boy the same age as the little blond boy answered, having walked into the scene a few minutes before.
"Oh." Naruto looked at him and then back at the girl. "Hello Hinata, I'm Naruto." He smiled but just like before, she didn't answer. She hided behind her mother, making her brother sigh by their side.
"She doesn't like talking." The boy explained to Naruto, making him shrug and give up on talking to her.
"Hm. Hey, what's your name?" Naruto asked instead the boy.
"It's Neji. Neji Hyuuga." The other answered proudly causing Naruto to smile.
"Let's be friends, Neji." Naruto decided following the boy to his bedroom and leaving the little girl to her mother's care. She wanted to play with them and be friends with the new boy, but she stayed.
…
Naruto lay on the grass with a bottle of vodka in hands. He didn't feel as sleepy as most people assumed and he didn't feel as happy as he wanted to be, not that he was miserable.
Naruto Uzumaki was… thoughtful.
He had indeed heard Hinata's confession even though he wanted to believe his ears were lying to him. However, Naruto had seen the girl's expression, and he saw the small hope in her eyes crashed by his silence.
Truth to be told, if she were any other girl confessing to him on New Year, he wouldn't think twice about pinning her to the closest tree. He wouldn't think twice about taking her to the closest dark empty room he could find and then…
On the next morning, he would blame it on the alcohol he had. He would blame Sasuke for not being there to prevent him from doing that, no matter how much they would argue over it. Why was the bastard in New York?
It didn't matter.
It didn't matter because she wasn't any other girl, she was Hinata.
Naruto could never take advantage of his neighbor and childhood friend. He couldn't simply do it and blame it on anything or anyone but himself. And that's why he felt so lost in his thoughts, without a single clue of what he should do.
He needed help.
He cursed his best friend for being so far. Where was Sasuke when he needed him the most?
In New York, of course and he would stay there for one more week.
The blonde lay there for most part of the night, occasionally going to the chemical bathroom installed in the park or drinking water from the water drinker. He stayed there until the morning arrived, showing all the dirt from the previous night's festivities.
Only few people were on the streets when Naruto decided it was time to go home. He threw the empty bottle in the trash and caught a bus after waiting for an hour on the deserted bus stop. He still took 35 minutes to his house's front door: 15 minutes walking and 20 staring at his neighbor's house, unsure of what to do.
He looked at the open window of the bedroom he knew it was Hinata's… and went home.
He opened the door "Aah!" he jumped off ground startled by his stepfather right in front of him. They blinked at each other and laughed.
"Welcome home, Naruto." He greeted his adopted son kindly.
"I'm home, Iruka." He greeted back, a bit nervous about his father seeing what time and especially in what condition he arrived home. After all, he was still a bit drunk.
"You're coming home quite late, aren't you?" He told the boy with a tint of disapproval.
"It's pretty early if you ask me." his sheepish smile growing in his lips.
Iruka rolled his eyes at Naruto's mischief, pretending not to notice his son's condition. "Didn't you have work today?" He asked with a small scowl on his features.
Naruto shrugged "Only in the afternoon, I took the morning off. I'll shower and sleep a bit before I go." He explained in order to appease Iruka.
"Alright then. Don't oversleep." He fixed Naruto a hard stare, which was answered with a mischievous smile, and then he sighed. "Then I'm going before I get late."
"Yeah, bye. Be careful." Naruto said taking off his shoes and closing the door behind him, relieved Iruka hadn't said anything to him.
The door reopened showing Iruka's head, his face with a frown "Naruto, did something happen?"
The boy sighed, knowing too well he couldn't lie to this man, it never worked. "You don't have to worry. I just need some time to think." He answered sincerely scratching the back of his head out of habit.
Iruka flashed him an understanding look with a soft smile "I'm here if you need me, Naruto, you know."
The boy nodded and smiled at his stepfather. "Yeah, thanks."
Iruka ruffled the blond hair as he used to do when Naruto was just a brat in order to make him feel a little bit better. He closed the door slowly and left to work, worried about the boy he had chosen as his son.
…
Naruto took a cold shower to cool his head, ate a good bowl of ramen and drank a bottle of water. To make sure he could wake up later, he turned his alarms on and dropped on his bed in his sweatpants swallowing a pill of aspirin to prevent a headache. He was asleep before his head hit the pillows.
The 25 years old felt like he was floating.
Everything around him was a deep blue like his own eyes, his body felt heavy and light at the same time and he couldn't tell if he was breathing or not.
It was like he was inside a river; just it wasn't water he was in, but something denser. Naruto didn't know if he was the one moving through the place or the place was moving around him. Several scenes of his memories flowed in front of his eyes.
"I said I wanted to be alone, you fucking moron." Sasuke said threateningly, but Naruto didn't move an inch.
"Are you fucking deaf?! Get off!" once more Naruto said nothing, his eyes didn't show the pity or sympathy like everyone else's, but it only made Sasuke more furious.
"I SAID TO GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!" his pale hands clutched on Naruto's shirt as he tried to push him out of his way, out of his apartment.
Sasuke found a silent resistance, what pissed him off further. It was frustrating, so frustrating he lost all reason. He shouted at his best friend to get out, punching and kicking him, pushing him out, yelling, pleading, begging.
Nothing worked.
Naruto did nothing but resist. He didn't say anything, didn't do anything. He just waited until the moment Sasuke collapsed in front of him, trembling in fury and panting in exhaustion. Then Naruto punched him in the face, pulling him into a tight embrace before he could react.
"I'm not leaving, you fucking son of a bitch." Naruto told him, feeling the other's hands clutching on his shirt for his life. He felt as the other's body trembled and listened to the choky sobs on his shoulder. "I'm right here."
The blond boy watched the scene with blank eyes, his mind was a mess and the memories didn't stop coming.
"Naruto, come on." Iruka called for him, but it was to no avail as the little blond boy refused to get down from the tree.
"Not going!" He declared tearfully.
"Please Naruto, let's go home. Aren't you hungry?" The oldest pleaded with the boy, ignoring the looks he was receiving.
"I don't want to go! I'm NOT going!" Naruto yelled stubbornly, making his stepdad sigh.
"Come on, son, let's just go home. Get down and come here with dad, please." Iruka pleaded patiently, offering his hand to the angry boy.
"NO! I'm not going!" Tears ran down his flushed cheeks. "I'm not your son! You're NOT my dad, will NEVER be my dad! I don't WANT you to be my dad!" He sobbed angrily, frustrated, his words were too harsh, too honest, cracking Iruka's heart.
Iruka didn't know what to say to that, it was hard to hear. He climbed the tree slowly, holding the little blonde in his arms tightly even with the resistance he found, with the kicks and screams and harsh words. After a long time, words and scenes Naruto couldn't remember, he opened his eyes slowly, feeling himself being carried by the man he had hurt so much.
Iruka hummed in his ear, caressing his back in a soothing motion, making him drop his head back on the man's shoulder and falling asleep on their way home.
It was the last memory he had of Iruka calling him son, his last attempt of making Naruto call him dad. Naruto felt his throat constricted, but he couldn't tell if it was due to the scene or to the underwater pressure. The wetness on his face could be attributed to the water or the tears. He simply couldn't tell the difference, and more memories surrounded him.
"I don't care what you say, I'll become a chef! I'm telling you!" Naruto screamed at his former teacher in the middle of the street.
"As if a dumb brat like you could become something." The arrogant man answered smugly making the younger groan in contained anger.
"I WILL BE! I'LL BE A CHEF!" he screamed and run from the laughing man, away from the cruel words and eyes until he stopped to take a breath, panting, contained tears in his eyes.
"So you want to be a chef, brat?" An old man asked him out of nowhere, surprising Naruto.
"So what if I do, old man? Gonna laugh at me too?" he asked with hatred and sadness in his voice.
The man actually laughed, not cruelly, but amused at the boy's antics. "It's decided, then. Come on, boy, if you pass on my test, I'll teach you."
To that, Naruto blinked and frowned. "What an old man like you could teach me, huh? You could as well be just a perv."
The old man laughed again, more amused. "That's right, let me introduce myself. I'm Jiraiya, chef of the Mountain of Bewilderment restaurant." He announced proudly of his high status, attempting to impress the boy.
Naruto smiled excitedly. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, old man!"
The floating boy continued to watch the pieces of his memories. Some mixed with others. Some, he couldn't tell they had occurred or they were just what he wanted to have occurred. He was losing the thin line between what was real and what was just dream, his imagination was running wild with images.
"I know we talked about it and you said it was fine, but I don't want you to feel lonely, Naruto." Iruka told him serenely making the 10 years old smile in reassurance.
"Don't worry about it, Iruka. Come on, I want to meet him!" He bounced on the silent corridor of the hospital. The eldest smiled in relief, but his eyes still showed pain.
"You have to be silent." He told his son, who smiled and zipped his mouth, barely containing his excitement.
"Mr. Umino." The nurse greeted him. "I'm really sorry for your loss." She told him softly.
"Thank you. I came with my son, can we see him?" he asked with a voice Naruto never had heard him use before, but it sounded wrong coming from Iruka. The nurse nodded and motioned for him to follow. Naruto was right beside him.
Iruka smiled at the little being wrapped in white blankets and soon picked the newborn in his arms as carefully as he could be.
"Naruto, come here." He called just above a whisper, shushing the baby as he whimpered a bit. "Naruto, meet your baby brother, Konohamaru."
The blond boy looked at the baby and smiled "Hello little baby, I'm you big brother."
Iruka smiled at their interaction, being much better than he had first imagined.
"Do you want to hold him?" he offered and very slowly did Naruto agree, a bit afraid but eager. "Just be careful." The older instructed helping his son to hold the baby boy.
"Welcome to the world, Konohamaru."
Naruto couldn't breathe.
He suddenly felt the pressure of being underwater, the lack of oxygen, the liquid filling his lungs, burning his mouth and nose, his eyes. He couldn't swim, couldn't move. He could just panic, feeling the water enter his body, his soul, burning, killing.
Naruto opened his eyes with a gasp.
"Brother! Brother! Brother!" Konohamaru ran into the blonde's bedroom excitedly. "Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Naruto?" the teenager tilted his head to the side by the lack of response from his brother.
Naruto growled in his pillow, trying to fall back asleep. He knew it was impossible as the remains of his dream faded back to his subconscious.
"Hey, do you have a hangover?" Konohamaru poked him annoyingly much as he himself had taught the brat to be. "Are you still drunk, brother? I thought you wouldn't sleep at home. Couldn't find a girl huh?"
"Konohamaru, just shut up." He told the 15 years old kid sitting on his bed. Naruto growled again when his alarm went off, giving up completely of lying down and rest. "What are you doing home, kiddo? I thought you were camping with your friends." he asked the boy ruffling his hair.
"I came back yesterday night for New Year and I asked Iruka not to tell you because I wanted to make a surprise."
Naruto arched an eyebrow "Iruka? Since when you call him by the name?"
He shrugged. "It's his name, isn't it? And you always do, Naruto."
He rolled his eyes. "That's different." Naruto didn't want to talk about it with his little brother "Now get out of my bedroom. I need to get ready to work, brat." He stood up dismissing any topic of conversation.
"It's not different." Konohamaru argued back, being ignored. "HEY! That's not fair, Naruto! We didn't even talk and you… HEY!" then the boy decided to jump on his brother's back, bringing the two to the floor. A big thud was heard on the otherwise silent house.
"YOU LITTLE! THAT HURT!" Naruto yelled, not really angry.
They wrestled on the floor, occasionally kicking and knocking something. Konohamaru laughed as his brother finally gave him attention, but frowned as Naruto managed to sit on his back, pinning him on the floor.
"Get your fat ass off me!" The youngest yelled, laughing.
"Not until you say how awesome I am!" Naruto had a big grin on his lips.
"NEVER!"
"Say it!" Naruto demanded, tickling his younger brother's sides making him squirm.
"NO. NEVER, I refuse!" The boy giggled and squirmed uncontrollably. It was fun.
To the denial, Naruto continued his torture, tickling the boy with more force. He was laughing as well, enjoying the silly little moment they had together.
"Okay, I GIVE UP!"
Naruto stopped, still sitting on Konohamaru, waiting for his final redemption.
"Naruto is awesome and I want to be exactly like him when I grow up, too bad I'll never be as awesome as Naruto." The boy said in mocking monotonous tone.
"I appreciate the sincerity, though a bit more of enthusiasm would be better." He stood up, rolling his eyes at his brother's dramatic intake of breath. "C'mon kiddo, I'll fix us something to eat and then I'm off to work."
…
When Naruto closed the front door behind him to go to work, his grin dropped off his face. He kept thinking about Hinata's confession, about his past, about Sasuke's absence.
"That bastard, tsk." It was clearly Sasuke's fault.
He sighed and left, putting on another happy grin on his face for the sake of world's balance.
…
In New York's international airport, Sasuke was saying goodbye to his coworkers and his boss. After all, he had gone on a business trip.
"I thank you for your guidance and hope your expectations on me were met." The raven bowed politely towards his boss, a man called Orochimaru, and his coworkers.
"I thank you for your assistance." The old man answered just as politely.
Most of his coworkers left as soon as formalities ended, all of them eager to spend the rest of the first day of the year with their families and friends. Sasuke still held his emotionless face, sighing when only his boss and one of his coworkers stayed with him.
"I appreciate your worry about my well-being, Professor, but I would rather leave immediately to my hometown." The young man spoke blankly, picking up his suitcase.
"You can drop the formalities around me, Sasuke." Orochimaru had told him with the same poker face.
"It's a habit, Professor." He explained, getting his bag and walking to his platform. "I can't believe you sent everyone to see me off." He grunted in displeasure at having to say goodbye to all his coworkers.
"It wasn't me, it was Suigetsu's idea."
Sasuke immediately glared at said man, who was yet to say something. The man, just a bit older than Sasuke, gulped down in panic, laughing nervously at his friend's intense glare.
However, Suigetsu was too stupid to be afraid of Sasuke for too long "Oh c'mon Sasuke, you finished a week earlier than you were supposed to. Besides, everyone will miss you, so we wanted a little goodbye to our pretty pet boy." Suigetsu mocked, laughing on his own at his idiotic joke.
Sasuke and Orochimaru just ignored him, keeping on walking until their destination. The oldest being the first to talk, putting his hand on the younger's shoulder. "Your flight will take off in 15 minutes, you better go in already."
The raven nodded and offered his hand to his mentor and current boss. "Once again I thank you for the opportunity."
The other shook his hand "My proposal is still up. Whenever you feel like leaving Konoha, my doors will be open. I have great expectations on you, Sasuke."
Sasuke permitted a small smile "Thanks."
He turned to Suigetsu, who was crossing his arms, and offered his hand. The white-haired man soon took it and used it to pull the other into a hug, knowing perfectly well how much Sasuke hated this kind of gesture.
"You better come back."
Dark eyes rolled "Yeah, yeah, will you let me go? I'm gonna lose my flight, Suigetsu."
Suigetsu held on him tighter. "NO! Don't go, Sasuke!" he cried out attracting unwanted attention. "Please, don't leave me!" Sasuke wanted to die from the other's sense of humor. "What about our kids?! Our life together?!" Suigetsu yelled swinging his arms around overdramatically.
"Enough with it, Suigetsu. You're going to kill him, or yourself" Orochimaru interfered dragging the young man from Sasuke. "I hope to hear from you soon." He ended with a little nod.
The 24 years old man nodded back, turning his back and going to his plane. It would be an 8 hours flight to Konoha's airport and then two hours to his home, where he planned to sleep through the whole day.
He sighed as he adjusted himself in his seat, getting as comfortable as it is possible in a plane's chair. Something told him he wouldn't get much sleep once he arrived in Konoha. He thought about his relatives, but especially, about his stupid best friend. Naruto surely had gotten himself in some trouble in his absence. He closed his eyes and dozed off as soon as the plane took off.
"Mom? What are you doing?" Seven years old Sasuke asked his mother on the couch.
"I'm watching the video of your first steps, dear. Want to see?" She said softly, getting an affirmative response from her youngest child. Sasuke sat beside her on the couch and looked at the screen.
On the TV, little Sasuke saw himself as a baby, sitting on the floor with the protection of his mother's arms around him. "Fugaku, honey, don't you think Sasuke is too young to walk? He just learned how to crawl."
His mother told his father, who had the camera in his hands, ready to capture the moment his second son took his first steps. "Don't be foolish, he can do it. Besides, Itachi could already run in his age."
Mikoto frowned at the camera, but baby Sasuke only looked determined, glaring at his small legs for not supporting his weight yet. Just then, his brother Itachi showed up, sitting on the floor a few meters in front of Sasuke.
"Hey little brother." The kid said in a gentle tone, holding out his hands for his baby brother. "Come here with brother."
Sasuke emitted a frustrated noise, still glaring at his legs and then at his mom. Mikoto soon caught on the plea and helped him on his little feet. The baby waved his arms and tested his legs, one then the other, but his mom was still holding him, so he wasn't really walking on his own.
"Do you think you can do it, sweetie?" his mom asked him, slowly letting him go when he yelled what was meant to be 'yes', watching as he struggled to be balanced on his feet.
Baby Sasuke smiled when he decided he was ready to try walking, taking an unsteady pace to his big brother's direction, who was looking expectantly at him. The little raven smiled again with another step and then other and other. He went faster and faster to his brother's arms when he lost balance.
Big dark eyes panicked the small moment he felt himself falling.
Itachi caught him mid-air, hushing him from the scare. "There you go, Sasuke. You did it. You took your first steps." Sasuke giggled, clapping hands at his little achievement.
"Aw, I miss having my baby Sasuke." His mother commented. "Don't you love your brother so much, Sasuke?" She said still watching the video with her two sons laughing together.
The kid smiled proudly "Because brother is the best big brother of the world, mom."
"And you're the best little brother of the world, dear." Mikoto tickled him making him giggle and then kissed his little nose.
Sasuke laughed.
"I love you, my dear." She hugged him.
"I love you, mom."
"Ladies and Gentleman, we're landing in Konoha in instants. Please, fasten your seatbelts and thank you for choosing Fly Airlines…"
Sasuke woke up with a sigh, looking into the infinity after dreaming of his childhood. It was so long time ago, so long ago.
…
"Hey kid, are you free?"
"Do I look free for you, old man?" Naruto yelled from the sink, where he washed and chopped vegetables carefully.
"I can't believe you're doing it, Naruto! You have a damn helper to do exactly it, so why the hell are you doing that? And where is she?!" Jiraya demanded, yelling at his former pupil.
"She had a problem, and it's the first day of the year, just let the poor girl be. There's almost nobody here, and we're closing in an hour." He explained concentrated on frying the vegetables he had chopped. "What do you want?"
Jiraya blinked because of Naruto's lack of energy, but dismissed his thoughts deciding it should be just a hangover. Oh how he wish he were young again. "Oh, we have a demand on you: your special. Now."
The blond man tilted his head to the side. The only person who ever asked for his special was… his face perked up "It'll be out in 30 minutes, no more, no less!"
...
"There you go, a Naruto's special for a special bastard." The blonde served the man, looking around the almost empty restaurant, and sat in front of his best friend. "I thought you'd come back only next week."
"Hn." Sasuke didn't answer properly, too busy eating his dinner, but he arched an eyebrow at Naruto, wondering what was wrong with him.
"You just eat. I'll clean up the kitchen and get my things. By the way, I'll sleep at your apartment tonight." Naruto told him, making him roll his eyes, but agree.
…
Sasuke entered the restaurant's kitchen, nodding his head in acknowledge to the people cleaning the place. He dropped his plate and cutlery into the dishwasher, turning it on as it was common for him. He walked into the room behind it where the employer's belongings were kept, where Naruto was picking his stuff.
"Ah you fucking bastard, I missed you." Sasuke was suddenly swept into a tight hug from his best friend. "Do you have any idea how many times I had to solve my own problems?"
"I can imagine, moron. I'm quite surprise you're still breathing." The raven awkwardly held him back. "You're exceeding my 5-seconds hug rule, Naruto."
"'Don't care. It's all your fault for going." because of it, Naruto tightened the hug. "You lost Christmas." He accused.
"I know." Came the bored response along with a roll of dark eyes.
"And New Year!" the tone was playful.
"Happy New Year, moron." Sasuke monotonously said as he petted the blond head. "Can we go now? I came walking."
Naruto nodded and got his belongings, waving goodbye to the few last people and Jiraya. "Bye old man, see you next week."
"Bye, kid, take care."
…
"So, why don't you want to go home?" asked Sasuke as he locked the front door of his small apartment, leaving the cold night of January behind.
Naruto sighed and looked down, occupying himself with turning on the heater. He should have known Sasuke would ask him straightforwardly as soon as they stepped into his place.
Anyhow, the older didn't press the subject further when he was met with silence. Instead, he opted for going to his bedroom, where his unpacked bag lay on the floor, and got a small box from it. Going back to the living room, he found Naruto in the kitchen, boiling water for some tea.
"You talk, I give you. You don't talk, I don't give you." Sasuke said startling his lost-in-thought friend, showing the small box in his hands.
Blue eyes rolled at him, a childish scowl on his features, and the worst part was Naruto was getting real curious and excited to know what Sasuke had gotten him. It was his late Christmas present from Sasuke, right?
Of course it was. No matter how coldhearted the Uchiha was, he would always give him a little anything for his birthday and Christmas.
Naruto tried to catch the box, but Sasuke was faster, hiding it behind his back. "Ah." The oldest warned with a hard stare, making the younger cross his arms and pout like a child.
In the end, they sat on the small round table, two cups of tea on it, and the box securely kept on the top of the fridge. Sasuke sipped on his tea and snorted, glaring at Naruto because obviously it was his fault. Naruto rolled his eyes and stood up to get a bit of milk and sugar, pouring the amount he knew Sasuke liked.
"One would think that with the amount of sugar you actually eat, you wouldn't be this bitter." Naruto mumbled, but Sasuke simply ignored him.
After a few sips, Sasuke looked at Naruto expectantly "So?"
It wasn't like he had a choice, but it wasn't like Sasuke was really forcing him since he had wanted to talk to him about it since the beginning. He had gone to Sasuke's apartment on his free will and choice, but it was still so different.
They were best friends, yes. They knew each other since they were 15, yes. They knew more about the other than themselves, yes, but… they didn't talk about relationships.
Of course, Naruto knew Sasuke's previous relationships. Then Sasuke knew how much Naruto fooled around and even some details the idiot insisted him to know. Therefore, it wasn't the first time they talked about dating and other people, but it was different. Sasuke knew Hinata, of course he knew his best friend's neighbor. That meant Sasuke would know exactly why Naruto was so lost and that made it all worse. After all, it was the first time the blond man would talk about a serious relationship with a girl.
"Naruto, I'm waiting."
"I know, I'm thinking. Let me just put the things in order in my head." Naruto answered nervously, trying to buy a little bit of time. Not that it worked. After all, Sasuke was an impatient man and even more impatient when it came to his best friend.
"I'm counting to three."
Naruto bit his lower lip, looking around desperately. His blue eye moved around as if looking for an excuse, a way to run out of this situation.
"One." The dark eyes stared at him in warning.
Still nothing.
"Two."
Naruto had no idea how to begin, how to voice it, just how… "HinataConfessedToMe!" he exploded, so fast Sasuke almost didn't catch the meaning of his blurting.
But when he did…
"She what?!" His eyes widened almost comically.
"Hinata. Confessed. To. Me." He repeated slowly, watching as his companion scowled, crossing his arms over his chest as his eyes lost focus on him.
Sasuke was thinking and counting all the implications of that simple statement, considering all the possibilities to then, finally formulate an answer.
"When?" He asked, but his dark eyes weren't really focused on Naruto or anything.
"At turn of yesterday's night, during the fireworks."
"Hn, then?"
Naruto sighed, frowning as he repeated the scene in his mind "I didn't answer, just wished her Happy New Year and started drinking. She went home not long after that."
The other nodded at the additional information. "I can't say I'm surprised by the confession itself. I just didn't think she would have the courage."
Naruto slammed his hand on the table "WHAT?! I got totally taken by surprise!" He never thought Hinata would proclaim such strong feelings for him. "I thought she had a childish crush on me, maybe a brotherly love, but…" He didn't have to continue, Sasuke knew the final word.
"Because you're a moron, always have been and always will be." Sasuke ignored the glare he received. "I had seen the way she sometimes looks at you, stupid… it's like…" 'The way I look at you.' He completed in his head, pretending there wasn't a lump in his throat. "It's not surprising she holds feelings for you."
Feelings.
That was the word both of them feared the most.
It felt strange, even to Sasuke, to talk about these feelings with Naruto. It wasn't a part of their friendship, maybe loneliness, hate or competitiveness, but love?
No, love wasn't something they talked about, ever.
Love was painful for them. Too painful after they had lost so much in their young lives.
Naruto thought about the girl. He thought about how she smiled, and how her lilac eyes almost never met his, and her delicate face and her body. "I would lie to say I don't find her pretty, but…"
"Hn." Sasuke cut him. "You're overthinking about stupid things, it's not about the girl. It's about you. You can't make someone happy simply by doing what they want you to do. You have to want to do those things, together." Otherwise it was cruel. Going out with someone to please them was cruel to both parts.
"Wow Sasuke, I didn't know you were…" Naruto cut himself mid-sentence, giving up on mocking his friend at the sight of his deadly serious eyes. He cleared his throat "Eh, I mean, yes, you're right."
Naruto sipped on his tea again, enjoying the calmness it provided. "But that's the problem, you know. I can't say I don't want it, but I'm so sure I'll mess it up, I will mess it up and I… can't. Not with her." He held the girl in a pedestal, where he simply couldn't approach.
Sasuke wanted to say he was right, God, he wanted to say Naruto should just forget it and continue being friends with the girl. He wanted to be selfish and deny what his friend was telling him. He wanted to pretend Naruto treated Hinata like any other girl he met, but…
He wanted his best friend to be happy, truly happy. Sasuke loved him to this extend, giving up on him without ever having a chance, without ever thinking of confessing. He loved Naruto enough to know what would make him the happiest. His own happiness didn't matter as much as Naruto's.
"Go ahead." He heard himself saying. His voice trembled a bit, though he liked to pretend it didn't.
"Wha-?"
"I said go ahead, Naruto." His dark eyes stared deeply at Naruto. "It's obvious you care for her enough to give it a try and that's what I'm saying you should do." Sasuke swallowed; his eyes avoided the blue ones. "Give it a try, slowly."
Naruto could only blink at him, his mouth agape. Was it that easy? Could he simply try it? Sasuke's voice was weird, and he wasn't looking him in the eye. Was Sasuke hesitating? But why? If he thought that was the right thing to do, why would he hesitate to say so? Why?
"Sasuke, are you sure… about me and Hinata? Do you think I would make her happy?" He couldn't see how, it was Hinata. He felt he didn't deserve her. He believe her to be delusional.
Sasuke glanced at him and smiled "Don't be stupid, moron. I won't let you mess up, I'll be happy when you're happy. Deal?" Sasuke didn't know why he said that, it wasn't really necessary. Maybe, only maybe, he needed to voice it aloud to himself and Naruto just happened to be there, listening.
Naruto smiled, still unsure about Sasuke's behavior but trusting his words. "Deal."
The raven managed a small smirk in return. "Good boy, you can have your present now."
Naruto snorted, frowning at his friend for being treated as a pet. His face brightened as he got the small box from the top of the fridge. He opened without much care, eager to know what it was.
He grinned at his Christmas gift.
"A snow globe! Thank you Sasuke!"
Naruto briefly hugged Sasuke in appreciation, amazed at the beauty of the small snow globe. Inside the round glass, a small Christmas town stood, but what amazed him the most was the sacred nine tails fox looking over the town. The animal was stunning to Naruto, who grew up to its legends and tales.
The boy shook his gift animatedly, watching as the snow danced around the town and the fox's tails waved so beautifully.
In his own amazement and contentment, he lost the sight of something even more beautiful: Sasuke smiling just at his happiness. The lawyer would never admit he spent almost his whole trip to the United States just looking for a gift to Naruto. He would never admit how worth the grin had made it. It was his own particular gift.
…
Late at night, Sasuke was still awake in bed. He couldn't blame his thoughts on keeping him up. Actually, it was the opposite: his mind was blank, so blank he couldn't sleep. He couldn't move in his bed. He could just lie still for how long it took him to fall asleep.
On the base of the bed, Naruto also lay awake on the mattress. Unlike Sasuke, however, his mind was running a mile per second. Even though his body begged for sleep, his mind kept him up with that nagging and familiar sensation he had messed up something, everything.
He was sure he messed something big. Something so big he knew he would regret for the rest of his life. Naruto's mind was going crazy trying to decipher what he had messed up this time.
Then it hit him.
Sasuke's unusual behavior, his hesitance, and that smile. It wasn't like Sasuke's rare smiles, no, it was sadder, defeated somehow and so obvious. How couldn't he see it before?
Of course, Sasuke was in love with Hinata.