Author's Note: I do not own the songs, which I just changed around, nor do I own the Southern Vampire Mysteries, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, nor their songs and/or characters.
The wedding march played as Tara Thorton-Du Rone and her new husband, JB, left the Church in Bon Temps, followed by cheering family members.
They had just gotten married, this time for all their friends to see.
Speaking of friends, Sookie went up to her best friend and said, "Tara! Oh, congratulations!"
"Thank you, Sookie," Tara said warmly. "When are you and Vampire Bill gonna tie the knot?"
"I dunno, maybe some day."
"Well, here's hoping you get that special man some day."
And with that, she and JB leaped into JB's vehicle and drove off, tin cans banging against the unpaved road, seeing as they were tied to the bumper, along with a "Just Married" sign that was about to rip off and fly into nothingness.
"That's really great," Bill said when Sookie told him the news. "that is just great for your friends."
"They say they won't have kids," Sookie said. "But I know JB would want some."
It was night time, and Sookie was chatting with her vampire boyfriend, Bill. They were both very conservative and reserved. But they were also both outcasts, in a way, as Bill was a vampire and Sookie could read minds.
"Hey, Sookie, Bill said after a short pause.
"Yes, Bill?"
"I've got something to say."
"Uh huh?"
"I really love the way...your hips just sway!"
"Oh, oh Bill."
((Cue music!))
Bill: "I would search for you in the sea"
Disembodied voices: "Sookie."
"Our future is together for us, I see."
"Sookie."
"So please, look at me."
"Sookie."
"I've one thing to say and that's 'Sookie, Cookie, Kiss me!'"
"I flew and glided for you to see."
"Sookie."
"Our love is for all to see."
"Sookie."
"Please, my love, look at me."
"Sookie."
"I've one thing to say and that's 'Sookie, Cookie, Kiss me!'"
Bill sexily took out a diamond ring. It was small, but mighty expensive-looking.
"Here's the ring to prove that I'm no joker.
There's three ways that love can grow.
That's alive, dead, or won in a game of poker.
Oh, S-O-O-K-I-E, just kiss me!"
Sookie gasped. "Oh, it's nicer than the one Tara Thorton got from will!"
Voiced: "Oh, Bill."
"Now we're engaged and I'm and thrilled!"
"Bill."
"Now you met my brother, Gran, Niall and gave us a chill!"
"Bill."
"I've one thing to say and that's
Bill, you fulfill!"
Sookie: "Oh, Bill!"
Bill: "I...see."
"What a thrill."
"Sookie..."
"For you..."
"I love you, too."
Together: "There's just one thing left to do,"
Bill: "...And that's go see the vamp who saw me."
"Sookie."
"Whose mission was to find Sookie."
"...Sookie?"
"Made me...date, seduce and make us meet."
"Sookie..."
"Now I just need to say
I see, Sookie, just kiss me!"
Bill: "Sookie, I see."
Sookie: "Oh Bill, what a thrill!"
"Sookie, I see."
Together: "Just...Please...kiss...me...."
((Stop Music))
"It was a cold November evening," I, your humble narrator said. "Bill, a vampire from the Civil War era and Sookie, a telepathic waitress, a loving couple, were going out to Baton Rouge to meet the Queen of their great state of Louisiana, Sophie-Anne LeClerq. But one thing they didn't account for was a spike on the road, some broken beer bottles smashed on the road from a previous time, which ended up damaging three of Bill's car's wheels."
"What's going on," Sookie asked.
"The tires blew out, Sookie," Bill said as he got out. "Come on, let's go look for help."
"But Bill," Sookie objected. "What if there's a meanad out there?"
"Oh, don't me silly....Sookie. Oh, that would have been a great line in the song."
"What song?"
"...Never mind."
Although there was no meanad, there was a hurricane. A minor one, but one that passed violently, crapping the car and battering the couple.
But they persevered, and finally stumbled upon a night club.
Fangtasia.