Title: Chivalry Never Died
Pairing: McGee/Ziva, surprise pairing (het)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Het
Cat: Humor
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: None.
Summary: In which Palmer attempts to become Ziva's knight in shining armor.
Author's Note: Written as a prize for EmyPink for correctly guessing my Hangman puzzle. She requested that someone say, "I'll defend your honor, Ziva!" That was it. And this is what I came up with.
"I'll defend your honor, Ziva!"
The call came from across the parking lot, causing Ziva to spin to see if it was indeed who she thought it was who had spoken. She gave an incredulous look upon seeing the figure frantically running towards her, waving his arms around to catch her attention.
"Is that . . ." McGee, who was standing beside her, his hand on her forearm, started, "Palmer?"
Ziva looked at him for a moment, then back to where Jimmy Palmer was indeed running towards them, his curly hair bouncing in the breeze, before he suddenly tripped, flailing forward with his arms spinning in circles to keep himself upright. He came to a skidding halt shortly in front of McGee and Ziva, panting.
"You okay, Palmer?" McGee asked, his eyes narrowed in semi-concern, but his mouth quirked in an amused smirk.
He nodded quickly, but then his expression turned fierce and he glared at McGee. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
McGee looked taken aback. "What do you mean?"
Palmer continued to glare. "I saw the way you grabbed Ziva. That's totally uncalled for." He turned his attention to Ziva. "Are you okay? He didn't . . . hurt you, did he? I mean, the way he grabbed your arm . . . that's going to leave a bruise . . ."
McGee blanched slightly as Ziva opened her mouth to speak, but found herself momentarily speechless. After a few moments, she finally said, "I will be fine, Jimmy." Palmer shot a proud and triumphant look at McGee, whose expression was flitting among ashamed, angry and just plain confused. "And McGee," she continued, drawing his attention back to her, "did not 'grab' me, as you say. He would never attempt such a thing."
"Oh, right," Palmer said, nodding, "because you're an assassin."
"Well, yes," Ziva agreed, "but also because," she gave McGee a wink, "McGee is a gentleman." She turned to Palmer again. "He would never lay a hand on a woman."
Palmer's face fell. "But . . . but I saw him . . . and you . . . and . . ." He scratched his head, looking slightly embarrassed. "I guess I was just looking forward to saving the day."
Ziva smiled softly at him and even McGee looked sympathetic; he certainly knew that feeling. "Jimmy," Ziva said, surprising him - and McGee - by putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, his eyes all too reminiscent of a hound dog's. "I appreciate the thought, but even if McGee had been harassing me - which he was not, I can assure you - I can take care of myself. I am sure that one day, you will be in the right place at the right time and will be someone's knight in shining armor. Or, well, hospital scrubs, as the case may be." Her smile grew and she gave him a gentle slap on the cheek. "Now, I think you owe Agent McGee an apology."
Palmer looked shame-faced as he faced McGee. "I'm really sorry, McGee. I don't know what came over me. Guess it was just one of those things - saw something out of the corner of my eye and . . ." He shrugged. "I know you wouldn't ever do something like that. Agent DiNozzo, on the other hand . . ."
McGee grinned. "That's okay. I understand. Apology accepted." He held out his hand to shake and Palmer took it, grinning broadly and giving it a firm pump.
They dropped the other's hand then, Palmer nodding at nothing in particular, glancing around at the cars surrounding them. Finally, he looked back up at them, grinning. "So, what were you really doing, then?"
Ziva and McGee looked at each other, then back at Palmer, Ziva answering for them. "You know, I think perhaps Ducky may be looking for you."
Palmer looked to McGee, who nodded. "Yeah. I think I heard him saying something about requisition forms?" He looked to Ziva, who nodded her agreement. "Yeah, that's pretty important stuff. And you know how Ducky gets."
Palmer let out a breath. "You're right. Last time I missed one of his meetings . . ." He shook his head. "I do not want to relive that." McGee looked at Ziva again, who shrugged. He was just making that up. Who knew Ducky was really that bad? "Well, I suppose. It's been nice . . . not saving you, I guess." He snorted. "I'll see you guys later!" He waved to them as he jogged off towards the building, leaving Ziva and McGee alone again.
As soon as the door closed behind him, McGee let out the breath he'd been holding. "Man, that was close." He turned back to Ziva. "The next time you suggest hanky panky in the parking lot, I am not listening to you."
Ziva gave an innocent pout. "You liked it last time . . ." Her fingers trailed up his shirt, landing at the top button and teasing it out of its hole.
He growled, removing her hand from his chest, but as their flesh connected, any annoyance towards her dissipated and he remembered just what it was he liked about her so much. "Well," he started again, "okay. But only in the car!"
Ziva smirked and walked around to the passenger side of McGee's Porsche, watching as he fumbled around to find his keys in his coat pocket.
Back inside NCIS, Palmer was looking out the door at the duo and had a cell phone to his ear. "Cynthia? Yeah. It's me. You'll never guess what I just saw. No, I wouldn't be worried about getting caught at all . . ."
THE END!