Ugh I wrote it in a day leave me alone.
She stood outside his room not sure whether she should knock on his door. She wasn't sure why she was here. She searched her mind for an answer, a reason to knock and enter his room. She knew she wanted to be with him now, but why? What was her reason? What was her answer if he would ask? She wondered and pondered for a while, just standing there.
She began to wonder how she'd look if someone if just saw her standing outside his door. Would they think she was a stalker? Or indecisive? Then she remembered the only people who would see her in her position would know why she was standing there, and how she felt and why even though she didn't. So she pondered what the answer was.
Her thoughts abruptly came to an end when the door to his room opened with him standing there. She was stocked and almost gasped. Her train of thought crashed into a wall and she stood there blushing, mouth open. He didn't notice her there. He couldn't. He was blind.
"H-hi, Iggy," she stuttered. His head jerked in her direction seemingly in surprise, but she knew it was because before she spoke he didn't know she was there or that there was any presence there. When he spoke her heart skipped a beat and she wondered if he had memorized her voice for how else would he know it was her?
"Hey, Jewel, what are you doing here?" he asked. She took a nervous step back and her face flashed tomato red. She was so glad he couldn't see her face so red.
"I-I was worried...about you..." she answered slowly. The words slid off her tongue sneakily and unknowingly. Her sentence surprised herself. That was the answer; funny how easy it was to answer him rather than herself.
"Oh," was all he said. Jewel felt a little disappointed. She wanted a bit more reaction. Maybe a sign that he knew she practically confessed her feelings. That would be easier than telling him herself. Was that another reason why she was here? Jewel's heart skipped a beat and a lump formed in her mouth. Her lips ran dry and she felt a course of anxiety run through her making it hard to breathe. She swallowed hard.
"About what?" he finally asked.
"About today," Jewel said bluntly. She could still remember how he had been. It scared her more than anyone else probably. She was scared for her well-being but didn't know how to help.
"Well, I'm fine," he said obviously trying to brush her off, Jewel didn't notice.
"Y-you didn't seem fine," she said.
"Well, I'm fine now," he said.
"You don't look it," she said.
"Really? I wouldn't know," he said. Jewel's eyes widened. She blushed furiously. She had offended him. She didn't want to. This wasn't helping at all. In fact she thought she was making this worse. Jewel hated how useless she could be. Whenever the flock was in trouble she was the last to act. She was the one who needed to be protected. She needed to be nurtured. She was so needy and she hated that. All she could do was scream, but sometimes she couldn't even speak right. She never did anything right, not even for the person she loved. Not even when she cared most.
"S-sorry," she said tears forming around her eyes. Her words were choked and came uneasily. Anyone could tell she was about to cry. Iggy's eyes softened.
"It's okay," he said awkwardly. Jewel took another step back wanting to put as much distance as she could between him. She was humiliating herself. Even when she wanted to let him know she cared. Even when she wanted to help, she couldn't do anything right. She became frustrated. She couldn't find a way to help. She couldn't find a way to tell him how much she cared. How much he means to him and that while he was at his most vulnerable state she was the one most affected by it.
"I-I'm sorry, I-I'll just go," she said and began to walk away. She was about to break into a run when someone took hold of her wrist. She looked back and saw it was Iggy.
"No, please don't go," he said shakily. Jewel stood there shocked. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. Frustration boiled in her again. She was so hard to deal with! She wish she could just rid him of her. She wanted to run away so that maybe the flock wouldn't have such a hard time. Maybe if she was gone it'd make everyone's life easier, but right now Iggy was asking her to stay.
"W-What's wrong?" she asked.
"I'm sick of it."
"S-sick of what?" Jewel stuttered.
"Being blind."
"..." she didn't know what to say.
"Damn it!" He cursed. Jewel could read the frustration in his face and the anger boiling inside. She took a few steps toward him and took hold of his hand. She was afraid of him being like that again; being like he was earlier today. She wanted to calm him down and help; at least a little.
"I'm sorry," he said. Jewel looked at him a little surprised. Sorry? He was sorry? She should be the one apologizing. She was the one who couldn't do anything, but just be trouble.
"For what? You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who always messes things up," Jewel said. His eyes widened.
"No you don't! Who told you that? You're perfectly fine. You're perfect," he said all of a sudden concerned. Jewel was surprised by his sudden concern but also touched. She almost smiled. He cared about her. At least just a little bit.
"Thank you," she said. Iggy smiled as if her being happy made him happy, too. As if her being happy made him completely content-as if she made him content.
"But you're fine, too," she said quickly. She wanted him to know what she thought. She wanted him to know how perfect he was to her. She wanted him to know she cared.
"R-Really?" he asked unbelieving. She nodded smiling and her grip on his hand tightened, but then she remembered he can't see so she answered him yes. He half smiled, and she smiled at him. Then he suddenly frowned.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I never got to see you," he said.
"What?"
"I can't even see you..." he said shakily and Jewel blushed a little, but her eyebrows knitted in concern. She looked at him. Was this what he was suffering from? Not being able to see...her? Her? Of all people he was frustrated he couldn't see her? Why? What was so great about her that he wanted to see?
Jewel didn't think she was beautiful or at least okay looking at all. She hated how thin she was, and how fragile she looked. She hated how big her eyes were giving off an innocent and helpless look. She hated her brown hair that had streaks of sandy blonde, barely blonde at all. Her hair messed up so quickly and it was straight as a board, so boring. Jewel looked so weak even though she was probably twice as strong as normal humans. Jewel hated how small she looked, so helpless. What Jewel hated the least was her wings. Her wings were 3 times larger than anyone else's in the flock, but they weren't horribly ugly either. Her wings kept the sleekness and beauty of anyone else's wings in the flock, but were bigger. Therefore she could fly faster and longer, but she got tired very easily and need to eat more than the flock did. That's twice as much as the average human, but she was still so thin. It was hard to cover her wings under her clothes, but she could, and it was possible...but it was very uncomfortable. Plus her wings lacked in flight feathers so she couldn't fly. Usually Iggy had to carry her around while they flew. She hated how weak she was. She hated how she needed someone's help, but she loved being held in Iggy's arms.
It felt so nice to be held like that, and to have security in his embrace. While she enjoyed being held, he gripped her like she was his life support. Like she was the most important package he ever delivered-like she was special. And-to him-she was.
She didn't want him to suffer with this frustration. She searched her mind for ideas of how to solve this...her grip on his hand tightened, and he flushed a little. Jewel grabbed his hand and brought it to her face. Jewel felt Iggy twitch a little surprised by her action and probably confused, but also hesitate.
"Iggy, since you can't see with your eyes, see with your hands," Jewel said. Iggy looked in her direction and Jewel could swear he was looking into her eyes. She could swear he could see her at least just for a second.
"Okay..." Iggy said slowly, still hesitate to this idea.
Jewel closed her eyes and she felt Iggy's fingers trace the outline of her eyes. Jewel felt butterflies in her stomach and felt her face burn up, but tried to overlook it and not move. She felt Iggy's fingers outline her nose, trying to understand and image what her face would look like. Then he crossed over her cheek to her jawline. Jewel could swear he felt her cheeks be so warm. He smiled as if knowing she was blushing. She didn't want him to know she was blushing, but she again overlooked it and tried not to move. Then she felt his fingers flow down from her jawline to her chin then her lips...
Jewel's eyes shot open and her blushed extended to cover her entire face. The butterflies in her stomach buzzed furiously. And suddenly she felt an urge to kiss him-to kiss Iggy. She looked at his lips and he was looking at hers. His fingers outline her lips trying to memorize them and place them on her face. Jewel saw Iggy's face and thought he looked like he was in deep concentration until he tilted her chin up and kissed her on the lips.
Jewel's eyes widened with shock. She soon realized and he pressed harder onto her lips that this was reality and not a wondrous dream. She closed her eyes and kissed back. She wasn't experienced in kissing, but Iggy didn't seem to mind. The feeling of their lips together seemed enough for him and for her.
Sooner than she wanted, Iggy pulled away. Jewel looked into Iggy's eyes and felt him looking in hers and she knew that was impossible.
An awkward silence fell upon them, but Iggy kept staring into Jewel's eyes. She stared back and was grateful that he couldn't tell...or could he?
"Iggy?" she said his name without knowing.
"I'm sorry," he said looking down to the floor. He didn't look ashamed for what he did or even a little guilty. He shouldn't. Jewel didn't want him to. He looked more in thought than anything else.
"Don't be," Jewel said hugging him. He must've been surprised by her bold action because he paused before hugging back. He held her tightly around her waist and back. She loved how his arms felt around her. She laid her head on his chest and soaked in his presence. She loved him being there with her. She loved everything about him.
"I love you," he said gently and softly. His words were barely audible, but she heard him. She flushed and her eyes widened. Her heart beat loudly in her chest. She was sure that Iggy could hear. Jewel clutched onto his shirt a looked him in the eyes.
"I love you, too," Jewel said and Iggy kissed her again just as sweetly as he said, "I love you."