Title: No Surprise
Summary: Cloud Tells Zack everything…..i guess. I dunno. Angsty. Shounen-ai ish. Dun like? Dun read. Kayz? Kay.
Warnings: Shounen-ai ish, and angst.
Word count: 1,128
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII belongs to Square Enix, not me. nor do I own "No Surprise", for that belongs to Daughtry along with many other great songs.
A/N: okay, original idea kinda got....lost in translation, so to speak, so I shifted through all these songs that I have to lyrics to on my computer and I thought this...kinda sorta fit, or that I could, at least, twist it to fit. Birthday girl got to decide so it's Zack/Cloud. Even if there's only one name in the whole fic ^^" So, without further adieu, happy (now belated) birthday Ita-nii! I give you huggles and love and all that good stuff.
I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder, I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrappin' this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why
I've paced back and forth, back and forth, running through this lecture for hours, and I'm sure I've got every little detail, down to the last syllable memorized and I'm ready to say it all to you, to confront you, to spill out the whole truth, and nothing but that. But you walk in the door and, upon seeing me, sit on the couch and ask what's wrong and I almost can't do it. But I manage to start, and as I go, my voice gets stronger and I keep thinking this is a better and better idea because I'm not running away anymore.
I explain every little lie, and every little detail of them to you. I explain every inch of this mask I throw on for the world, every act in this façade. And I'm glad that I can finally explain it all, that I can get it all out and not feel bad about it, not feel like I've betrayed you one bit. I'm not handing this truth to you on a silver platter, all covered in sugar so you can't really tell what it used to be, just that underlying hint. No, I'm throwing it all out there and I shouldn't have to explain any bit of this to you.
It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise
And when you're gone the next day, I slip out of the house and leave. It shouldn't be too much of a surprise, considering what I said last night, and the fact that you didn't respond at all, honestly, I'm surprised it took me so long to crack. There was always so much drama going on it was almost as if everything with us was a completely off and on thing. And I'm sure sometimes I'll look back and miss your smile, and comforting warmth, but it shouldn't be any surprise that this is the end of it all.
It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever, just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why
When I finally told you everything, it just.....flowed, perfectly and all this time I thought it'd be hard. Every time the urge to tell you, to tell anyone came up I'd push it down, further and further every time, but it'd pop back up quicker and quicker. It feels so good to have it all off my chest now, like I can finally be free. I've always wanted you to know this, but I was scared to let you know. And I guess I'm still kind of scared of your reaction, about how you'll feel about all of this, but one step at a time. I'm not going to let my fear sugar coat these words.
What I'm telling you is important, so important that, any other time and any other person, it'd take a complete melt down to get this out of me. But you're special, you always had been, you always will be, but after today, after right now, it may be the end of us. I may still write or call, but it'll be the end of all of this acting and pretending, I'll be able to be myself.
[Chorus]
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God knows we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise
And tomorrow, tomorrow we'll hate I said this. We'll wish it never happened but you can never take back what you said, you may not remember what it was, but, if it was important, you'd remember how you reacted to it. And just your reaction could make a wound so deep it will never completely heal. And god knows that I tried and tried and tried to find an easier way to go about this, I tried harder every time I pushed it back down, every time I suppressed saying this, but never, did I come up with anything that'd get the same points across that'd be any easier.
When we get older, and have new friends, when we have kids and grand kids, every time we tell this story-the whole story, start to finish-everyone will look at it, and it'll be no surprise how this turned out not even to ourselves, anymore. We'll miss these times, sometimes, but the outcome will never be a surprise, we had always been predictable.
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no,
As no surprise
"And, that's everything I never told you, Zack," I finish with a relieved sigh, turning to look at you. We had wandered out onto the back patio, sitting on the lawn chairs watching the sun set, we always did it, every night, it was our favorite thing to do, but today I think I may've ruined it. I'm still curled around your side, head on your chest, one knee on your stomach, my calf on the opposite side, and my other leg straight out under me, but when I look up at your face, all the love and tender care that had been there before was gone, leaving an empty face, all stony, and cold. And I wonder, I wonder if maybe, it wasn't a good time to tell you.
What if you had a bad day at work? I had forgotten to ask you. Maybe, I should've waited longer, maybe a few days, or months, or years. All these maybes wiz by, but maybe doesn't matter anymore because you can't go back and change the past. And that's why, as I pull away from you, standing beside the lawn chair, doing my best not to look as dejected as I felt, this was no surprise, none at all. I should've known, in fact I did know, but I didn't want to believe it, not at all. You were a better person than that, or so I wanted to believe. But apparently, on this one thing I was wrong. Maybe I didn't know you as well as I thought.
If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this
It's easier to see the reason why
I wish that I could see forward in time, now as I pack a few bags and load them in the car, I wish I could see the future, and see how all this would, ultimately, end. Even though I know, it has to better than where we are now. I know telling you all these things was a better idea than it seemed right now. I know all this, but I wish I could see how we ended in this scenario. I turn the key in the ignition and switch gears.
And after everything, even though I knew it'd end like this, it's easier to see why it's really not a surprise that this happened, because it was you, and it was me, and it was off and on, and this should've happened a long time ago. We just weren't as happy as we thought we were, and after everything got revealed, it just plummeted. And it's just so much easier to be able to see why it was just so obvious that it was gonna end this way.
But, in a way, I'm happy it ended like, this. In a way.
[Chorus]
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise
A/N: ok, so, you like it? It's kinda depressing, and it is in no way a sign or an opinion, ita-nii, on you or boo, I swear. I just wrote it as it came. And I think it fits. I don't think it was exactly lover's so much as really good friends. Despite being curled around the other in the second to last part. If my friend's let me, I'd do that with them, and I don't like them like that. Well, not all of them. But still.
Neways I hoped you enjoyed it! ('specially you ita-nii, and once again happy-belated-birthday!)
Your author (and, in one case, Otouto)
~Evelynn
P.S. yes, we know that nii-san/aniki is older brother and otouto is younger brother, and we're both girls. But considering she's more like Itachi and I Sasuke, I call her aniki or nii-san and she calls me otouto. -shrugs-