A/N: This is an alternative storyline to what took place between episodes 4x11 through 4x13 inspired by my ex-boyfriend and I's recent break-up. This is a Flack/Lindsay story and does contain slight spoilers for season 4. I'm writing this under the assumption that the audience has seen 4x11 "Child's Play". This story is also a little AU. Some of the things mentioned in here haven't actually happened in the show. This is because I do not own CSI: NY or CBS and the views expressed here are not theirs or their affiliates. That being said: enjoy!
She felt broken inside, as if the light of her soul had been extinguished, not slowly or kindly, but harshly and quickly. Looking at her, you would never know how she felt. Her face was stoic and her life was only mildly disrupted. She went to work as if nothing ever happened. She had a perfect mask on, letting no one know the hurt that was inside. She was really thankful that thus far her pregnancy had been easy to hide, no one on the team knew she was expecting a child. Her morning sickness was miraculously restricted to once not long after she woke up. Cravings were mild and not yet out of the ordinary for her normal appetite. Being barely three months along helped her keep her mask in place. Everyone on the team thought she was fine, a little under the weather maybe or tired from the demands of life, but they thought she was fine.
Everyone except Don Flack, that is. He saw through her mask. He saw the broken heart inside of her. It was only right he saw through the mask since he'd been in love with her since the day he saw her at the zoo, but his best friend had loved her too. So, being a "good" friend, he let Danny have her. Stupid mistake on his part, look at what Danny had done to her. He couldn't understand how his friend could do something so stupid to her, but he knew that he had, so he was determined to fix Danny's mistake. The problem Don had was going to be convincing Lindsay that she needed him and that it was okay to drop her mask around him.
Knocking on her apartment door with purpose, he called out her name and announced that it was him. Silently he prayed she would answer the door and actually let him come in. By some miracle, she did, looked him up and down and asked him what he was doing at her door after they both were off shift.
It was the moment he'd rehearsed all day at work. Don Flack was a man who liked to be prepared and so all day at work he had practiced what he was going to say, gone over every possible reaction from her and remembered every conversation they'd had. He treasured those conversations deep inside his heart and from them analyzed her personality, predicted how she'd react to him. However nothing could help him remember what he'd rehearsed as he took in the broken woman before him. Her normally bright and clear brown eyes were slightly red rimmed. Her normally immaculate curls were mussed as if she'd been laying down. Her normally ironed neat work clothes had been traded for a pair of rumpled gray track pants and a faded pink t-shirt. Her voice was crackly and soft, missing it's normal cheer and sparkle. Some small part of him rejoiced in the fact that he knew her well enough to be correct in his assessment of her emotional state. The rest of him was breaking inside to see her this bad and ready to run after Danny and beat the snot out of him.
"I've brought food, movies and company. Need any of it?", Don finally managed to ask nonchalantly, as if there was no hidden motive for his visit to her door.
Lindsay looked at him suspiciously for a second and he thought she might send him away. Instead she smiled half-heartedly and opened the door wider to let him in. "That had better be good food and my favorite movie.", she teased him.
"I bring you orange chicken, egg rolls, steamed rice and General Tso's chicken, just like you like it. There's even enough for two. As for the movie, what other movie would I bring you other than Top Gun.", he replied.
She then bestowed upon him the first real smile she'd given in weeks. Wide, toothy and charming, it reached her eyes. His insides flip-flopped to see it. 'Good Lord,' he thought, 'This woman has me head over heels for her.' Not that he didn't already know that, it was just he'd found another reason for it. She could smile even when her world had crashed down around her.
"Thank you." she said quietly, so quietly he almost missed it, as she pulled water bottles out of the fridge.
He nodded and smiled in response. Quickly but quietly, he set the food out on the coffee table, while she set the DVD up. They ate the same way enjoying the move and the company, but not feeling the need to talk. Don was glad they had that kind of friendship, where constant conversation wasn't necessary because they had a good idea what the other was thinking.
As the movie ended, she said, "I know why you're here."
Adopting the same impassive face he used with suspects, he looked at her and said, "Do you now?"
"You want to make sure I'm really okay. I'm acting like I am and you don't buy it. You're mad at Danny for leaving because you think he's let a good thing go.", she said, the mask falling from her face completely and the pieces of her heart and soul laying naked and beautiful before him.
He smiled wanly, "You've got me all figured out dontcha?"
"Mostly. I've had a lot of time to think and observe.", she replied matter of factly. His insides did another flip-flop, as he thought about her watching him. He liked the idea of her watching him and thinking about him.
"Well, I know Danny gave up a great thing when he left you and I know you're not doing fine. You're hurt and broken inside even though you're hiding it.", he said trying to hold back from openly declaring his feeling for her.
"Did he tell you why he left?", she asked a tear rolling down her cheek.
"No. Just that he left.", he said scooting closer to her and putting an arm around her shoulders.
"He said that he could no longer meet my needs. I was family material and he said he wasn't. I told him if he walked out on me he was walking out on his child. Then you know what he did, Donnie? He ran. He didn't walk. He ran. Today he sent me an email saying that he couldn't be a father that he'd just screw up their life like he had his, Reuben's and Rikki's. Said that I was better off without some no-good gangsta's son." she said, tears now running down her face, with more current than the Hudson.
"OH Linny," was all he said as he pulled her on to his lap and let her cry into his chest, while he stroked her hair.
After her tears subsided he realized she had fallen asleep on his lap. 'Probably the first good sleep she's gotten in days.' he mused. Quickly deciding to let her sleep for however long that may be, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her down the hall into her bedroom. When he realized she was holding on to him and not letting go he just decided to lay down next to her, glad that during the movie he'd taken off his suit jacket and tie.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead and whispered. "If you weren't asleep, I wouldn't say this but, I love you Linny."
A/N: I update quicker with reviews! I also would love to hear from readers. Private messages and emails will be read and I will respond.