Author's Note: This is my baby right now. Rating is subject to change. There is yaoi and shonen-ai. It is most likely going to be a SasuNaruSasu. There is some very slight SasuSaku, but don't worry too much about it. If you read on, you'll understand why! Also, there is a substantial time jump. Thank you and please enjoy .!
"Naruto, are you absolutely sure about this?"
The strain in Tsunade's voice was evident despite her best efforts to keep it at bay, and she began to wish more and more that she hadn't finished off her last bit of sake before such an emotional meeting. To be fair to herself, she reasoned that she held such and strong attachment to the current circumstances, because the boy before her bore such a shocking resemblance to her long deceased younger brother. Not only did they share appearances, but their hearts were quite similar as well, both so strong, fighting for things so far out of reach yet never giving up. She had lost her brother to war and she would be damned if she just sat by and watched as another one walked away from her. She found that she was growing very weary of seeing people die for a greater good that never seemed to come. That was the main reason why she had never wanted to be Hokage.
Her life before this position had been nothing but an endless alcoholic stupor that had slowly but surely softened the edges of a past she thought she could no longer face. But then Naruto had come along under the tutelage of none other than Jaraiya, and light began to spill in through the cracks, warming her cold heart. After having only known him for a few years she had grown so very fond of him despite his loud and sometimes rude comments. At their first meeting she had been pleasantly surprised by his ambition to succeed, to overcome the monster that everyone believed him to be. He was why she had agreed to become the fifth after all.
But these were her emotions speaking again. Rubbing her temples in a weary fashion, she habitually searched her desk and the surrounding area for an open bottle of sake before remembering, not for the first time, that she had already finished off the last batch. Agitated, she leaned back in her chair and watched as Naruto seriously pondered her question.
A stream of afternoon sunshine poured in through the open window and slanted across the young ninja, catching his hair in its glare. The blonde, almost golden, strands danced with the gentle breeze that brushed through the already cool room and shone brightly against the warming sunlight. His distant, sharp blue eyes seemed to glow, but Tsunade noticed it was with sadness more than anything else. This decision was just as painful if not more so for him.
"You know," Tsunade began, "you don't have to do this." Her voice was a whisper, though this time it was stronger now that she had her emotions in check.
Naruto turned his attention from the large picture window and settled it onto her worried, amber gaze. His intense blue eyes bored into her, as though he were peeling away layers of her, through skin, bone, and sinew, to see into her heart.
"But I do." He said, matching her whisper, before turning back to the window seemingly caught up in the view.
Frowning, Tsunade felt her last bit of hope die, knowing that once Naruto was decided on something there was almost no changing his mind. She continued to study his profile in silence as he stared out the window, allowing her mind to sift through the many events that had led to this precarious moment. Perhaps it had truly begun with Uchiha Sasuke's return eight months prior.
There had been no bloodshed or anticlimactic battle. He had simply come on his own free will, partially decayed head of Orochimaru in his grasp and a dead look lingering in his eyes. Of course initially, it had been a surprise to see the young avenger. Moving like a ghost past her well trained guards and disabling a few of the major wards around the village, he had slipped into her office without alerting anyone of his presence. He had also looked the part, being so pale that Tsunade had been able to see the map of his milky, blue veins just beneath his skin.
The surprise had quickly worn off, however, at the revelation that Orochimaru was dead. Staring at the clean cut just along the second vertebrae, she had been thrust back to a time when all of them had been innocent genin, Jaraiya, Orochimaru, and herself, none of them yet tainted by the serious duties of a ninja. She'd felt remorse and perhaps even a dash of regret at the way things had turned out, but she also felt relieved that Orochimaru was no more. His corruption would no longer hang over her like stale air.
As for the Uchiha, it had saddened her greatly at the state of malnourishment and unrest he had come back in. He was still a child after all, even through all the blood and pain, missing nin or not. Within interrogation, they had asked Sasuke why he'd dared to return. Why now after all this time? He had merely shrugged his shoulders, still managing to maintain a superior air despite the fact that he was restrained, bound, and too weak, thin, and exhausted to even lift a finger, saying that it had been time. It was common knowledge to the shinobi of Konoha that Orochimaru had been planning to take over Sasuke's body with the use of one of his forbidden jutsu. They easily just assumed that he had come to his senses and slain the snake before such a thing could happen, that it had 'just been time.'
Tsunade did not doubt that this was probably partially the truth. But something kept whispering inside her that this was not the only reason. Call it woman's intuition, but she did not believe it to be a malicious intent. She was just sure there was another side to it. Perhaps he was running from something or maybe even running to something, but she could not imagine what was so important now that had not been before he left. She doubted if even Sasuke knew himself.
At first, after seeing how the Uchiha had been such a negative impact on Naruto, Tsunade had not been too keen on helping the boy out in any way. Sasuke obviously was not good for the blonde. He was the reason Naruto had been in such distress for so many years, but Naruto had begged her to try and sway the council's decision. He himself had mentioned that the circumstances under which Sasuke had left had had nothing to do with the village itself.
This admission had caught Tsunade's interest, but when she had tried to prompt Naruto into telling more, he'd shut down and only said that it was not his place to speak of such things. This greatly surprised Tsunade. After all, Naruto was known to be quite loud and somewhat slow on the uptake. She had never seen him drop a subject so quickly and adamantly. It was obvious that he was much more observant than what people gave him credit for.
Bn Even so, Tsunade continued to resist Naruto's pleadings. She knew the whole Sasuke-defecting–from-the-village thing had really been hard on him, but she was afraid that Sasuke's return would cause even more damage. But despite all of his suffering, Naruto hadn't allowed Sasuke's betrayal to stop him from believing in his teammate. Even back when he had been just a 12-year-old genin she could tell that beneath his tough words, Naruto had really cared about the darker boy. She did not know what Naruto had been like before she had been Hokage, but not long after Sasuke left and she had become said leader, the blond ended up falling into a depression. His emotional state was not evident to everyone. As far as she could tell only Jaraiya and Sakura had noticed other than herself. Naruto worked so hard, even now, to hide his true emotions behind a constantly cheerful façade that worked effectively on most people, but it also succeeded in wearing him out both emotionally and physically. Somehow Naruto blamed himself for Sasuke's defection and, underneath that carefully laid bravado, was just a child who had never known the true comfort of a mothers embrace or the kindness of people in general.
She could not fathom what logic Naruto had used to convince himself of being behind the other boy's leaving, but it was a habit Tsunade had witnessed and observed throughout the years. Whenever something went wrong, or he failed a mission, Naruto made sure that everyone felt it was his fault. Tsunade realized it was a quirk born from years of scorn and isolation; something the poor boy probably did unconsciously in hopes that people would like him. No matter what anyone said he always let the heavy weight of mistakes not his own rest upon his shoulders. She was unsure as to how Sasuke would affect Naruto if he were allowed to live as a ninja of Konoha once more, and she was unwilling to make a bad decision that could only make things worse. After many sleepless nights she finally surrendered to Naruto's pleadings and agreed to help.
Both Tsunade and Kakashi had pled Sasuke's case to the council. He had eliminated one of the biggest threats to Konoha and could help with many of the future problems that arose. There was no reason to kill something of such value, especially one of the last Sharingan users. The council had been unsure at first, usually missing-nin received the death sentence, but they finally saw the many possibilities of him being an asset to the village. He was the last of his bloodline after all. With the idea of power in their minds and a feeling of invincibility in their hearts, they announced their verdict and, being the greedy bastards that they truly were, agreed to reinstate Sasuke as a ninja of Konoha.
Nonetheless, Sasuke had not gotten off without a punishment and had been made to endure a solitary few weeks in jail, and six months of charka restraints to insure his loyalty. Tsunade was not sure how such menial things could prove a person's loyalty, but the council had probably just wanted to assert what little authority they had, the bunch of old timing sods. Personally, Sasuke had gained her trust and respect the moment he had dumped Orochimaru's emaciated head onto her desk, though she was reluctant to admit it aloud. She still held a grudge against him for all the damage he had dealt to her gaki.
After Sasuke gained his freedom, Tsunade made sure to keep an eye on him. Mentally, he could not have been very stable. After the horrors he had been made to face as a young, orphaned child, and now this, Orochimaru and his warped jutsus and creepy leer, she was wary for the health of both Sasuke and Naruto. She could only guess at what things he had seen and been through while in sound, knowing that Orochimaru had always had a certain aspect to him that made her skin prickle. She was sure that he had abused the boy in more ways than one. It made her blood boil at the mere thought of it, but she had never had the courage to ask Sasuke himself, and so many things still remained uncertain.
Without even realizing it, she had stopped viewing Sasuke as a loose cannon and unrepentant killer, and saw him for the sad, worn down boy he refused to let anyone know. It was obvious to her that he was suffering from his stay with Orochimaru, but she knew that he hid it well behind his air of cold superiority. The only outward signs of it had been the physical state he had returned in, which was quickly remedied, but Tsunade had been alive for a long time and had seen many things. She knew that some scars never faded. It wasn't that he was mentally unstable or physically injured. He just had this air of weary resignation, as if life were too tiresome to be bothered with. Whenever in his presence, she felt this achingly palpable emptiness as if he were nothing but a shell of the former human being he had once been.
If possible he was even quieter than before, going days, even weeks, before he uttered so much as a syllable. He was a healthier weight now, and you could no longer count his ribs beneath all of that hard earned muscle, but he was quiet and impassive at the best of times. Sometimes she would look at him and see the fatigue in the way he pushed his shoulders back, defiantly holding his head high, still trying to hold onto his mask even as it seemed to crumble about his feet. She wondered at how many hours of rest he got in a week, how many times he woke from nightmares that never seemed to stop. The villagers and other fellow shinobi did not seem to notice these small things, however. Everyone praised him, happy that their prodigal son had returned to them, rejoicing at the fact that he was finally back. Tsunade highly doubted that Sasuke believed Konoha to be his home. She wondered if he had ever had a home to begin with.
As if realizing the turn her thoughts had taken, Naruto turned his sky colored gaze away from the window and back to her. He was quiet for a moment, just watching her with no expression before he flashed the grin she had seen him bare for years.
"Don't worry baa-chan. I'm strong enough now to take care of myself. Besides, this is for the best." His voice sounded resigned, completely at odds with the smile that stretched his lips.
Despite this, Tsunade had to agree with his statement. Regardless of Sasuke's defection and overall health, the growth of team 7 as a whole was exponential. The brunette had come back from Oto much improved from what he had been as a young genin, this much having been proven after he effortlessly passed the chunin exams. His speed was incredible, almost on par with that of Gai's, and he knew more jutsus than the average Anbu.
The same went for both Naruto and Sakura, as well. Naruto had thrown himself into training after Sasuke left under the pretense of becoming strong enough to bring him back, but it was probably just an attempt at filling the space that Sasuke had once occupied. He'd traveled with Jaraiya for a couple years and had quickly mastered many jutsus himself, including a more powerful form of Rasengan. Not only that but he had managed to tame the demon within him to some degree, a feat that had been by no means easy.
Tsunade could not even count all the times she had been needed to heal horrendous wounds and burns due to the rigorous training regimen he had set for himself. Many tried to distract him from his training, tried to keep him from severely hurting himself, but he saw through their tactics and continued onward. He had been getting stronger and was breaking all at the same time.
For her part, Sakura had trained beneath her, and Tsunade was proud to say that the girl could very well surpass her in skills given a few years time. It was obvious that she had worked hard to catch up with her two counterparts despite society's belief that females could not compare to males in terms physicality. But if this was truly the case, then Sakura was a living anomaly. Her charka control was so good she had easily mastered and surpassed Tsunade's superhuman strength and her medical ninjutsus were superb. Her genjustsus weren't half bad either.
Even so, despite all the individual growth, they still lacked the teamwork that could have made team 7 invincible. They were able to complete missions with amazing results, but there was still so much potential left untouched. Once Sasuke had been reinstated as a ninja, both Naruto and Sakura had welcomed him easily enough after the initial shock and anger had worn off, but it was Sasuke that held them back this time. He was, as always, apathetic and cold towards his teammates. This really wasn't unusual in the slightest but some things would need to change in order to rebuild the bridges he had burned by leaving. It was not that Tsunade expected him to open up and express himself in song and dance, nothing like that, but he needed to be more willing. Communication was a key component to good teamwork skills and right now neither Naruto nor Sakura could understand Sasuke, at least not anymore. There may have been a time when they could read each other like an open book, and his silences were easily translated, but he had come back different. They had all changed, and Tsunade could not say if it would be for better or worse.
Maybe things might have worked out if given the time, but Akatsuki just had to rear its ugly head. Tsunade had been getting reports for weeks of ninjas clad in red clouds decimating small villages in the bordering countries, and somehow the information had gotten into the village gossip and reached a certain blonde chunin's ears. She had a feeling it had not been an accident but rather a deliberate leak. To think of the lengths to which people would go to drive him away severely pissed her off.
Now the 15-year-old stood before her requesting leave of the village hoping to protect it and its occupants, willing to sacrifice for people who treated him so. He was sure that Akatsuki was on its way toward Konoha in an attempt to finish rounding up the remaining biju. He believed that if he were not in the village then Akatsuki would have no reason to attack it.
As a leader and fellow ninja Tsunade saw the logic in it. The only reason such an organization would ever risk approaching such a large ninja village was if there was something inside it that they believed was worth obtaining, and they had been after the Kyuubi no Kitsune for years. But as a sister figure and a human being she saw the danger as well. Biting her lip, she wondered whether she should allow this boy before her to willingly make a sacrifice or be selfish and try to protect him. She sighed knowing that she could not allow her personal views to mar her decision. With that in mind, she already knew the right answer.
Naruto continued to watch her, grin still in place. He was proud of himself that his voice had not wavered once despite his inner turmoil, and he clenched his jaw in an attempt to keep it from trembling. Now that he was actually looking at her, Tsunade appeared ashen and tired. The sight of it just made Naruto all the sadder. He knew that the threat of Akatsuki loomed greatly over her as Hokage and his determination to leave grew stronger in response. He would do anything to protect this woman who had somehow taken a liking to him. Anything at all for this village he foolishly loved, though it did not love him back.
He watched as she exhaled a large breath and knew he had won.
"Fine gaki, I grant your request, but I won't be the one to tell Sakura or Sasuke or anyone else for that matter." She looked up from the whorls of wood in her desk and into his somber eyes. She knew she would miss him terribly. Already she could feel the inevitable silence and cold that would be left in his wake, as if he were the sun, and without him she would wilt.
At the sound of Sasuke's name, Naruto turned his gaze back to the window and dropped the grin from his face. It hurt to smile when he was feeling anything but happy. But, if he were being truly honest, he had gotten used to the contradiction of it over the years. He suspected that perhaps he did not know what true happiness was, but he had nothing to compare it to, and no one he felt he could truthfully talk to, so he was never quite sure.
He watched as villagers walked through the streets far below him, oblivious to his problems, and abstractly imagined that they all were heading home to love ones who waited on baited breath for their arrival. The sun was sinking steadily over the rooftops casting everything in a fiery glow. It was a beautiful sight, one he would miss once he was gone.
Staring into the red glow of the sun, he distracted himself from the current state of affairs and the ever present pain in his chest with the memory of the comrades and friends he would be leaving behind. He reminded himself that he was leaving for their sake. It was maybe the only thing that he could do to keep the village safe, not only from the Akatsuki but himself as well.
He recalled the exact color of Sakuras hair, the same color of cherry blossoms, and how the shadows in it were always a light violet color that reminded him of wildflowers. Sometimes it even smelled like flowers, a fragrance that floated on the wind and caught Naruto's sharp demonic senses.
Whenever Kakashi truly found something funny his visible eye would not only curve slightly but he would raise his silver eyebrow a fraction as if surprised at his own mirth.
Iruka's scar turned scarlet when he blushed really hard, and, when it was late at night, he would leave his hair down to brush against his shoulders and cheeks softly. Naruto had often as a child contemplated stealing the kindly chunnin's hair ties so that the entire village would get a chance to see how beautiful his sensei was despite the fact that men were supposedly not supposed to look beautiful, least of all to other males. What fodder that was.
Kiba sometimes laughed too loud when he was embarrassed and Akamaru would almost instinctively shift to stand in front of him, as if to shield him from whatever caused his discomfort.
Hinata blushed so prettily, whether it was because she was happy or embarrassed, and often she stumbled over her words, but it was not because she was shy as was popular belief, but rather there were so many things she felt she needed to say that she could not get out quick enough. Naruto supposed it came from having to deal with her father who barely gave her enough time to squeeze in a word edge wise before he was reprimanding her.
Ino always had a fierce, happy light in her baby blue eyes that reflected in Sakura's pretty emerald ones when they were fighting with each other. That was probably why the pink kunoichi smelt like flowers all the time, because Ino's family owned the Yamanaka Flower Shoppe on the main fanfare, and the two could rarely be found apart.
Neji never really smiled but when he found something amusing he turned his head to the side in full profile so you wouldn't catch the rare emotion dancing in his pale, powder eyes. He privately would have liked to laugh out loud but thought that a display of emotions could be used against him in possible future battles. He was always on the defensive.
Even though Shikamaru appeared a lazy bum you could tell when he was thinking or pondering something by the small furrow that was almost always present between his dark brown eyebrows.
Lee was always loud and energetic only because he remembered a time when he thought he would not reach the goals he had made for himself, and plus he was born naturally optimistic and full of energy.
Lastly Naruto thought about the old Sasuke of childhood, and the new Sasuke he had only known for a few months. He remembered the way Sasuke used to tilt his head a fraction to the right in silent question when he refused to ask something out loud. He had even turned his back on people when he thought he was about to lose his composure and show an emotion whether it was happy or sad. When he was frustrated about something, he would push his bangs out of his eyes and behind his ears harshly, as if the dark strands of hair had personally offended him. It was something completely unconscious that he still did to this day despite the fact that he rarely seemed alive anymore. Whenever he got really pissed the nape of his neck got a little pink and his eyes would get this really sharp look in them, like he was trying to cut you without having to actually touch you. Naruto had seen it so many times, always on the receiving end of it. When he was caught off guard or surprised the left corner of his mouth twitched upward slightly, and sometimes, if Naruto was really lucky, instead of having nightmares he would dream about the innocent way a twelve year old Sasuke had once smiled at a stray cat or perhaps the color of the autumn leaves.
All of these small things quickly ran through his mind and helped calm his racing heart, reassuring him that he was making the right choice. Even when he was gone, he would still remember his small makeshift family even after his own memory had faded from their minds. He had learned when he was younger that it was hard to hold on to the things you really wanted, so he had always tried to keep the smaller things that most people would not know to take from him. He felt safe knowing that he would have something to remember his old life by when everything else was gone.
Remembering those faraway days of his childhood, Naruto absently adjusted his headband and fingered the kunai pouch that hung about his waist. He had been happy for awhile, before Sasuke left. Perhaps he had known true happiness after all, even if it was for such a short time.
"Actually Tsunade, I was hoping not to tell anyone. It will make things easier for them in the long run." Naruto did not turn away from the view as he addressed her. He stared intently at the wavy glass of the slightly dirty window, his voice hushed, barely there in the stillness of the approaching dusk. In his mind he held on tightly to the memory of a young Sasuke, happy and alive.
"I mean eventually they will figure it out, but I would rather them finding out on their own than telling them point blank." Behind his eyelids he watched as an imagined Sasuke gleefully waved him goodbye.
No one would really mind his absence, something he knew to be inevitable. There would maybe be a few people to really care, like Konohamaru and Iruka, but the whole village would rejoice at the prospect of him leaving. His teammates would probably enjoy not having him around as well, Sasuke especially. He most likely hated Naruto more than the entire village put together, but to Naruto it did not matter.
Despite all of Sasuke's hostility towards him, Naruto was probably going to miss him the most out of everyone else. At least Sasuke hated him for being loud and annoying and incompetent, and not because of the demon he carried. At least he disliked him for regular reasons, and not because of the burden that had been forced on him. Sasuke had taken the time to stop and see him, see Naruto instead of the Kyuubi, and for that Naruto would always be grateful.
He knew that there was so much more to Sasuke than the brunette let on, a completely different person that he hid beneath layers of pain and suffering. There was someone beautiful on the inside that reflected his outer beauty as well. That person trained with Naruto and fought with him. That person laughed and cried and felt on the inside when it he could not on the outside. That person had once saved his life.
"What!" Tsunade exclaimed, jumping up from her red upholstered Hokage's chair. "But what about Iruka? He will be so worried about you. Besides that, what about Sasuke and your team? Do you really think they won't notice that something is up when you don't show up for missions? Team 7 just got back together! I am sure they will not like losing yet another member, especially without any type of warning!" Her voice completely betrayed her disbelief as she allowed her words to hang heavily in the air.
Of all things she probably thought that he wanted to be some sort of hero for simply doing what had to be done. He supposed the assumption made sense seeing as he was supposed to be Uzumaki Naruto, the knuckleheaded ninja, but, all his life, Naruto had known that it would come to something like this. He had lived in fear of it, but now it was an acceptable reality, something unavoidable like a brick wall.
He allowed himself to recall Sasuke sneaking away from the village and never looking back, vanishing into the shadows born out of his hate. Pain laced through Naruto's chest at the thought. He easily remembered waking up that one dreadful morning to the heavy feeling that something was not right. He had brushed it off telling himself that he always woke up unsettled, a result of carrying the demon, ignoring the fact that he felt as if he would vomit at any given moment. It was not until later after they had found Sakura and she had gotten her story out around a flood of tears that the reality of the situation came to light. Sasuke had left them. Sasuke had left him.
Inside he knew that Sasuke had never particularly liked him, but Naruto had still felt so alone at that moment, an almost agonizing pull on his heart. At least Sasuke had seen him enough to stop and insult him. At least the other boy had not hated him irrationally as so many others still did. Naruto had tried desperately to hold onto what was steadily slipping from his grasp, like sand through his fingers, already knowing there was nothing he could do. The fist through his chest was just physical proof that he had never been worth any of Sasuke's few words.
He pushed the painful memories away. This was different. He was just a demon in people's eyes, never worth enough, never meeting expectations. After hearing the jeers and insults all his life he could not help but believe them. After all, no one had ever told him anything different. He was a monster, a worthless piece of trash. He would never surmount to anything, and no one would ever love him. No one would feel his absence the way he had Sasuke's. No one had ever seen him as anything more than an annoyance and an obstacle. Why would that change now? It was painfully true, but he had come to terms with it long before he ever thought he would have to truly face it as he was now.
Either way, whether he was missed or not was irrelevant in the end. Leaving was the right thing to do. It guaranteed safety to the village and a future for the people who deserved it most. For Sasuke he prayed it would be enough. All he wanted and could hope for was the other's happiness. He hoped that with time, Sasuke could find the courage to leave the past behind him and turn to the people who were still alive and willing to help. Naruto would leave so that he had the chance to do just that. He was willing to die so that his friends would get their shot at true happiness even when he could not.
And he probably was going to be dead soon enough anyway, now that he was leaving the safety of the village, and the Akatsuki were so close to getting what they wanted. He could almost feel them breathing down his neck. It made him feel immensely guilty to think that he could be the cause of many peoples' deaths. He could already feel the blood staining his hands, sticky and, oh, so red. To add to it, he refused to be the cause of Sasuke finally confronting his brother. He sometimes had nightmares of blood and carnage, Sasuke torn and dying in the rubble.
Even though the brunette had been training to kill his Aniki for years it would haunt him if anything happened to the other boy because Itachi had been lured by the prospect of the Kyuubi. The guilt of it would crush him, and leave him breathless. While Sasuke had undeniably gotten stronger during his stay in Sound, he still was not ready to face the other. Despite all of that hard work and agonizing struggle there was still a key component that he was missing.
Naruto was not saying that his defection and fight for power had been for nothing. It was just that Sasuke would not be at his full potential until he finally obtained that missing piece. What he needed was something to live for, a reason to fight and even die if need be. No, the murder of his entire clan was not enough. His need for revenge was still fueled by hate, anger, and most of all fear.
What Sasuke really needed was someone to fight for, someone who could make him laugh and finally smile, someone who could draw that beautiful, hidden person out of him. Someone who could bring him back to life after those three unknown years away within Orochimaru's grasp. Someone special who could show him the true power of having something you never wanted to let go of. Naruto was sure that Sasuke would eventually find an amazing girl to love out of all his admirers and friends, someone who could really see him. Then he would be ready.
"Please, Tsunade-baba. This is for the best." Naruto repeated, his voice unsteady at the turn his thoughts had taken. He needed to stop thinking in such depressing ways. If he allowed himself to be so down then people would be able to exploit his weaknesses. He had to keep the Kyuubi from Akatsuki. This meant that he needed to be stronger. Weakness was not an option.
Tsunade looked into his sad blue eyes and felt her resolve crumble. How could she say no to the one thing he had ever seriously asked her for? She slumped back into her chair with a defeated sigh and nodded.
"Fine. Jaraiya leaves tonight. Be packed and ready to leave by 7:00 at the main gates." Gods, she felt so tired now. It swept over her in waves and she knew that as soon as Naruto was gone she would turn to her precious sake. Anything to forget this sad, broken child she was sending away.
Naruto forced his face back into the semblance of a grin once more, though it was overshadowed by sadness and grief, and gave her a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."
Now that he had gained authorized consent he allowed his mask to completely drop, simply too weary to maintain it.
Turning, he headed towards the ornately carved doors and glanced around the office as he realized he might never see it again. He tried to commit to memory every detail from the large dark bookshelves littered with scrolls and papers, to the salmon colored couch and chairs pushed off to the side of the wide desk. He even scanned along the beige walls hoping to catalog every scratch and mark along its expanse. Finally he looked out the window one last time hoping that the view would never fade. He had always hoped that one day this would all be his, even knowing it was very unlikely with the demon residing in his belly. That hadn't stopped him from fantasizing then, but now reality crashed down upon him with startling clarity. He was leaving his dreams behind as well. With his foot on the threshold he whispered his departing words without turning back, allowing his respect for her to slip into his tone.
"May we meet again Hokage-sama." Then he was gone.
Neither of them had mentioned the fact that he might never return to the village, but now Tsunade could feel stray tears leak from her eyes and course down her cheeks. At least she knew he was safe with Jaraiya. He cared about Naruto almost as much as she did, and she trusted him to protect the blonde for as long as he could. If anyone asked she would hold to her promise and say he was training again. Most anyone would believe her small fib seeing as that was all they had known the boy to do. Train to become strong, train to become Hokage. What a fucking joke life was. How cruel and complicated things became when one was not watching close enough. Absently she wondered how team 7 would react. They got one member back just to lose another.
Gods, she needed sake.