Hi everyone, it's been a long time since I've actually been on this website. Like, a really long time.

But let's get something straight. (Read this if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you)

This is a parody based on the majority of OC fan-fiction that have your typical, self-insert game-crazy fan-girl who gets sucked into her favorite video game and meets everyone, makes friends with the princesses, Samus and the hot swordsmen posse, saves the day from evil villains like an OOC Ganondork.

And then the fan-girl hooks up with someone in that hot swordsmen posse (Ike namely), and they all live happily after in the Smash Mansion forever and ever.

First of all, I have an OC. But she's nothing like me. The prologue is in her point of view, so you'll understand better what kind of person she is. Who knows, she may piss you off like all OC's seem to do. But one thing that can assure you is that she is definitely not a Mary-Sue. I did that test 8 times and I could have sworn that the first one of my results claimed me to be neglectful of her. As far as I know, we have nothing in common. I love the game, play video games, love the characters in the games and sheepishly admit that Ike is Yum-tastic. Especially since they gave him the Radiant Dawn design, with all the muscles and stuff.

Here's a link to the test if you're interested: .

Second of all, I'm trying to be as realistic as possible with this. And to be quite frank, logic doesn't like the idea of someone being sucked into a video game, so that's why it doesn't happen. But if that was the case, why bother calling this a fan-fiction? But if we were to be realistic enough, if someone were to get sucked in to this game, the other characters would be total robots. You wouldn't hear anything coming from Sonic other than the grunts he makes when he attacks/gets hit, or maybe even his taunts would be repeated. Imagine Sonic only ever saying 'You're too slow!' or 'Sonic Speed!' over and over and over and so on.

That would be boring for both the writer and the reader, I would assume.

So, I'm going to add a sci-fi/fantasy kind of twist to this and make it so that it won't bore you. Also, make note that it's realistic enough to may even give the characters no memory of what happened in their previous franchises, reason being that everything is coded in a different format, technologically speaking. For example, they wouldn't build Super Smash Bros off of the same game mechanics from Super Mario, right? They create Mario's character model from scratch at Super Smash Bros, they wouldn't rip the same model from Super Mario 3D Land. And given the relevant signs of personality in the Smash Bros. Franchise, one can only assume what the characters would be like given by the lacking traits in the Smash Bros franchise, and the general depiction of personality types that their creators and fans give them. I'll try the best I can to prevent anyone from being OOC, but I warn you that Kirby will have no memory of fighting King Dedede or Metaknight in the SSB series. Same goes for anyone in the game... If I've made my point easy to understand. I'm horrible at explaining things!

That's all I have to say for now. Roll the disclaimer!

DISCLAIMER:

I don't own Smash Bros. If I did, then I'd be rich. And if I were rich, I'd spend my good money on a llama petting zoo... :)

So, what do you think happens when a human actually gets sucked into a video game when they have no fighting experience or unnatural ability? Of course they're going to get their butt kicked! Non-gamer, Alexis has to fight her way to the surface of the Earth before sinking into the technological realm where she doesn't belong and becomes a "fictional character" to reality...

...

Noob

(Prologue)

n00b: Part 1

O.C. Point of View (Lexi)

...

"Breathe slowly as you hold this pose…"

As directed from the white silhouette of a young woman in yoga pants, illuminated brightly from the television. I shifted my one leg standing me upon the balance board for the pacing red dot on the screen to make its way to the target in the very center.

As calm as I was from practicing yoga, her tranquil voice and even smoother ambiance in the background, I was a bit irritated by the piercing artificial light that dimly lit the room darkened by black curtains. I wasn't really aware of what time it is, but I spent an estimated six hours studying and two hours of yoga to ease myself of the upcoming stress of the final exams before the summer.

But as I was probably holding that pose for nearly 15 minutes (a new accomplished record, thank you), the curtains swayed suddenly to reveal a stunning natural light peering in the horizon, shooting beams into my weary eyes.

"What are you doing up so early?" my mother questions from behind me, only her voice that shows disapproval from what I can see. She continues, "Your exams don't start in three hours."

I glance at her, my eyes now adjusting to the natural light from the window. She was in her pajamas, so she hasn't been up too long. It makes me wonder…

"What time is it?" I ask her groggily, my senses reminding me that I'm tired. My mother simpers…

"5:30."

"What?" I reply staggered. I didn't know that I had that sort of ability to stay up so long!

"In the morning—"

"Yeah thanks, I geddit." I rolled my eyes.

Now it was time for her to roll her eyes, subtly a mimic of my initial trait. "So answer my question."

"What?"

"Why are you up so early."

I begin to chuckle sheepishly; my mom is looking kind of worried now.

"Well, you see… it's not about how early I got up…"

"Oh no…"

"But about how long I—"

"—stayed up for." She completed my reply. Hey, this lady knows me better than I thought! I rebuttal nothing in my defenses when she shot me a glare.

"And how long did you stay up for, Lexi?" she glowered, insightful to my upcoming reply. I was sort of having fun with this, so I continued leisurely.

"Well, I studied until 4:30, and I started my Yoga right about… about after. My memory's a bit fuzzy."

"Probably because your body needs its rest right now…" she suggests blandly.

"Nah, I can live." I laugh it off, "I think I should start studying again."

"Lexi."

"Yeah?"

"Go to sleep. You've got three hours to go." She ordered

"But Mom, then I'll sleep right through the testing hours!" I countered her demand.

"Lexi, you'll sleep through the test anyway…"

"No I won't! Just… give me a coffee, and I'll be okay." I assure her, not even confident about it myself, now come to think of it.

"… Well, I'll see you at your funeral." I'm pretty sure I heard her mutter under her breath.

"Excuse me?" I demanded her to repeat herself.

"Would you like a coffee?" she asks, monotonously, "Because you even said yourself that you would rather starve yourself than have a cup of coffee."

"When did I say that?" I quirk up an eyebrow, not really sure when I had said that.

"About a week ago you said that, most recently." I knew that I didn't like the drink; I just didn't think that I'd dislike it that much.

I'm a bit of a health-nut you see, so normally I'd find an natural alternative to energise me in the morning, like perhaps an orange juice and a nice breakfast; a toasted English muffin with a gram of honey and peanut butter. But as of now, not even that could do me in like a powerhouse java cup, so just this once, I might have to tolerate thee damned vile!

"No, it's okay. I'll have one." I finalized. And with that, we walked into the kitchen where the coffee pot kept the beverage warm. Soon enough we both sat at the table with warm cups in our hands, talking about plans for the day.

On my part, I have two parts of my exam: the written and the endurance test

As you may have guessed already, my exams are for Gym class. I'm aiming for the top mark, since I'm already the best mark in my class. I already applied to multiple universities for Physical Education and Health, so my exam scores may stabilize the possibilities. I'm not exactly sure what I have in mind of what I want to be, but all I really care about is getting into a career in which I can really enjoy myself; whether I'm going to be a fitness instructor or a nutritionist, it has to do with something that keeps up with a healthy lifestyle.

… To the lazy gamers who are reading this, I apologize in advance.

My mom is going to pick up my little brother in the meantime for a dentist's appointment. They also have to go shopping later, so I basically have the house to myself until 6. I promised Sam and Joanna that they could come over today, I think maybe because my brother told them that we're getting this thing called a Wii U…?

It's like a Wii, but with a U at the end, I'm guessing.

He said that they're getting the newest addition to the Super Smash Bros. series, so they probably are coming over for that, I'm guessing. I've known my little nerd posse for long enough now, and knowing them, that's the only thing they can do at my house without getting bored. I try to encourage outdoor play, like football or something, but it doesn't last long until:

One of them passes out from too much physical work.

Both of them get bored.

Now, I know about the game Super Smash Bros. I'm not completely oblivious to all things geeky; because my little brother plays that game every chance he gets until he's blue in the face. Every time we're at my place, they're playing Super Smash Bros. on my Wii (I think this one is called Brawl) with my brother. And when I'm at one of their houses they're playing the same thing, only sometimes they play an older version called Melee.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure this game is great to those who find it great. But for me, who isn't a gamer, I'm not very amused by it. Please, hold onto your stones before you throw them at me, but is it wrong if I don't like this game, as well as many other games? Is it wrong that I don't even like technology, period? Seriously, my cell phone hasn't even been touched once in three months, and I don't socialize over the internet; especially with all this talk about 'hackers' nowadays.

Getting back about this videogame though, I'm not knocking it down. And yes, I did try it out. That was probably the best bonding time I had with my brother—and I didn't like it. I remember playing as this cute little pink thingy with rosy little cheeks and a squeaky adorable little voice, while my brother was an elf boy clad in a green hat and dress thingy with Japanese cartoon-eyes…

I think my brother said his name was Zelda… I'm not so sure.

Anyway, I couldn't figure out how to play this game and gave up, frustrated. Though, I'm not one to point fingers because my friends probably feel the same way about sports. I just wish that either one of us could understand one another without having to play a videogame, or a sport. The most I can stitch together out of these opposing hobbies is that game Wii Fit that I'd play occasionally. But when the suggestion would come up, I'd get all kinds of dirty looks. I even get judged when I'm playing it by myself...

I really don't get it.

Trying to figure this out in my head, I place my head on the table, mostly because I'm tired though. The cup in my hands had brought me nothing but a churning stomach that barely digests it. So you could say that I'm a bit sick as well.

I am definitely going to pass out.

My mother has been quiet for a while now, but it's been this way for the last six years since her divorce with my father. I can't say that I'm exactly affected by this, because for some odd reason, I hardly remember him.

I'll occasionally ask about what he was like, and what exactly happened. But my mother only would say something like:

"He was a recluse." Or something like, "He wasn't very affectionate, so I left him with custody of you and your brother."

But from what it seemed, she wasn't exactly sure herself. It almost seemed as if she never knew him either. Her silent depression only seemed to get moodier and moodier (and I think age is partly the culprit).

I find it incredibly strange that I can hardly remember what life was like beforehand before he disappeared 10 years ago. I must have been 8 years old at the time. But that still gives me no excuse to forget. I at least have to remember something.

But never mind about the father I hardly know, and pretty much cared even less about, I shifted my attention to mom, who was gazing down at her steaming mug placed between her palms and enclosed within thin, laced fingers. I gently placed my hand on hers and gave her a smile, innate since this counselling was only routine.

And as expected, she returns a half-hearted smile my way, leaving me so curious as to why she was so upset. Was it even dad at all?

My mother turns to me with a sigh. "Well, I have to drop off your brother." She says as she stands up at the table. Curious as to what time it was, I glance at the wall clock above the fridge.

Twenty minutes had already passed, and I'm not even done my coffee. It goes to show how hesitant I am about this stuff. I glance back at my mom, because it's still too early for them to leave.

"Already?" I question, "there's still like an hour to go before he goes."

She rubs her dreary eyes with her palms and yawns, "Yeah, but I've got an intervention to go to in the city. It takes an hour to get there and back."

"Seriously!?" I smack my hands down onto the table. "Is the school even open at that this hour?"

Mom pauses thoughtfully, until she replies, "I think the janitors would be there." She shrugs.

"Why can't he take the bus?"

"Because you know what he's going through with those older kids, right? They're picking on him at school, so why should he get picked on the bus? It's the most I can do for him right now."

"Oh yeah…" I pause for a moment, conjuring the final idea that comes to mind, and I'm going to regret this…

"I'll drive him." I suggest which earns me a glare from my mom.

"Alexis, you're in no condition to even drive yourself right now." She objected under a snarl. What got her goat?

"Mom, I'm not that tired." I admit half true to my word. "Just give me an hour or two nap and I'll be fine."

"… Fine then."

I honestly didn't expect her to give in that easily, but I guess this meeting is very important to her. I watched her pace down the hall, up the stairs and into her room, getting herself ready for the conference that's coming up soon. As for myself, I held my nose and chugged down that awful hot beverage, only getting myself sicker in the process.

I was definitely not used to this.

I began to walk towards my room, almost trying to get through the locked door beneath the stairwell.

Am I really that dumb when tired? I've been in this house long enough to know that that door will always be locked, and will never be my room. Though, it was always such a mystery to me…

But, never mind that, I trailed myself up the stairs as well to get into my room as well, but first, I decided to check on my little brother first.

I stopped by his door and it creaked open slightly, slow enough not to wake up the sleeping boy. Gazing at the little guy long enough, sleeping soundly and peaceful, I've come to realize that he's an adorable little shit. Not just a little shit:

Curly honey-brown locks, chubby rose-tinted cheeks, button nose… He can't be ten years old already! He's hasn't even reached 5 feet yet! (I must get my tall height from dad then, because I'm a whopping 5'7"… that's taller than my mom)

Smiling to myself, I gently close the door behind me and head over to my room to only plop down into my bed for a two hour power nap…

"Alexis." A voice says to me in the pure black atmosphere, since my eyes had refused to open. The voice by itself was deep, thundering the skies and a ringing echo that follows. I couldn't see a thing through closed eyes. I yet didn't have a voice in the matter. I was compelled to speak, but nothing had come out, as if my lips and voice box couldn't function.

Something about this felt like a dream. So I must be asleep or something. But still…

This voice sounded familiar. The voice continues,

"You are fading away from reality into the depths of my grasp."

I feel myself sinking slightly, the voice was giving me chills down my spine. I could feel the shaking in my sleep.

"You are tired? Are you not?"

I still couldn't answer, sinking even lower.

"You are amongst many who are. But you, my love, are something special to me."

Sinking even lower, but now I begin to struggle.

"In this heaven, we will be together my darling…"

"No time, no mortality…"

"Tranquility…"

"You, Jordan and myself…"

"Forever without end—"

-*HONK HONK!*

I sprang up from the bed recklessly from that ridiculously weird, creepy (and corny if you ask me) and screamed, probably waking everyone in the neighborhood up if the honking didn't! That sort of noise was familiar—like that sort of noise that would come from… my car…

I ran up to my window, and what do I see? That little shit honking the horn of my car, glaring back up at my window... Uh oh.

I glance nervously at my wall clock and I see that the time is…

8:00!? Dammit! I lost track of time. Jordan is going to be 10 minutes late!

Now that I'm mostly awake, I hurriedly gather my study notes and rush down the stairs, almost tripping down them at the time. I ran out the door and to my brother, sharply snatching the keys from his grasp.

"Don't do that!" I snarled at Jordan, who didn't even flinch. In fact, he just rolled his eyes at me.

"You wouldn't have woken up otherwise."

He may have had a point, but that didn't excuse him me smacking the brat upside the head.

It was only then that he flinched, and it was then when he stomped on my foot.

I yelped, but didn't continue our childish dispute. As the best sister that I am, I just simply lead him into the backseat of the car. And to sugar-coat my sweetness (feeling the diabetes already), I advanced at clipping on his seatbelt—*SMACK*

"Don't touch me!" He hissed, his hazel eyes narrowed at me like darts… and now my cheek stings. That really woke me up, I was sure.

"…Fine." I threw my hands up in surrender. Not showing any frustration or loss of temper, I sigh instead, hopping into the driver's seat. "You're ten now Jordan. You're right; I shouldn't put your on seatbelt for you." And I know I'm offended right now, but I might have been the one that offended him.

Though, I can't help it when he looks like he's seven years old…

Sitting fully in the driver's seat, I peer in the rear-view mirror and notice something that I can't believe I haven't noticed before.

"Um, Jordan…" I drawled out, receiving his attention.

"What?"

"Your glasses?"

"No."

"… Excuse me?" I furrowed my eyebrows at his reflection in the mirror.

"I said no." he snidely repeated.

I coiled my head slowly, maintaining a calm gesture, I inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"Oh really?" I question, which deserved the rise of Jordan's brow. At this I proceeded with my bargain. "If you get your glasses on, we'll get breakfast at Dairy Queen!"

"…"

"I'll get you a new video game!"

"…"

"… I'll give you a hug?"

"No."

His eyes drop to the floor of the car and he gazes down there for a while. I lament solemnly, feeling defeated.

"Why don't you want to put on your glasses?" I ask.

"It's none of your business." His gaze unmoved, as he folds his arms and pouts. I already have an idea why he won't put his glasses on. If I even used to make fun of him for it when I was thirteen, who says that thirteen year old bullies wouldn't? But nonetheless, I pretended that I didn't know anything, just so that he can go on throughout the day without spiting me too much.

I turn back to him and disregard my speculations inwardly, "Well, can you at least put on your glasses before Mom picks you up?" I ask regretfully, because he actually needs those glasses.

He nods, "Fine." And like that, we were done talking I guess. I say this given that he wouldn't respond to anything I said to him after our short conversation.

You know, I may have been a jerk to him for the first thirteen years of my life, but I've been trying to patch up our broken relationship for four years as best as I could…

What am I doing wrong?

It's been a struggle; trying to lighten the mood with my unfriendly little brother, and trying to drive at the same time while my eyes were trying to close themselves. I know that I said that I was awake on many occasions, but that was in the heat of the moment. I wasn't actually awake, I was… momentarily very cautious of my surroundings, at the time. This was most likely because no one was on the road at the time, I mean, Jordan's school is in the middle of nowhere and our town isn't too big.

Jordan better be at least thankful that I didn't get the both of us killed; after all, I sped through 2 red lights and swerved around turns as if I were drunk. I'm surprised that I wasn't even arrested, let alone even sighted out for my horrible driving. I'm just glad no one was hurt and I didn't have to take any money out of my savings to pay a fine.

Thankfully I made it okay to school, probably because I realized I put our lives in danger and became more alert.

Now is the time for my phys. ed exam! Though, I don't know how long I'd last for the endurance exam, I'm very confident in the written exam, since, you know, I studied all night… and half of the morning.

After a few sharp corners and turns made in the narrow halls of the school, I finally made it to…

The Library! To study! I've got about an hour to study so it would be wise to review everything, so I start by sitting at one of the cubicles and studying for about ten minutes…

But then came Karen: her pink and purple streaked pigtails bouncing up and down, with ridiculous cat ear accessories on her head, adorned by a lacey headpiece with ribbons on the sides. Scanning that odd creature even more, I noticed she had an outfit on that oddly looks similar to that of a sailor's, but with a skirt and informally placed buttons that displayed Japanese Cartoon characters on them, everywhere on her shirt. I was slightly disturbed to find that her skirt was actually shortened, noticeably (given that I could actually see the pins that held together the fold), and the eyesore rainbow-striped stockings she decided to wear with vibrant-almost neon, knit fingerless gloves, that had even more buttons on them.

Normally, she dresses weird: whether it may be that her fingernails are all different colours, or that she wears tacky contact lenses, or even that one time she brought that stupid neon green with that clashed with that stupid orange outfit and red goggles. Something about today's outfit though… I'm getting a bit sick just looking at it.

Did I tell you about Karen before? No? Okay, let's begin.

Karen is Samantha's younger sibling, a Freshman (Freshwoman? Freshgirl? I don't get it) who started hanging out with us, simply because she has no one to go to.

She's a nice girl and all… but she's kind of creepy. I remember this one time we passed a (good-looking) gay couple in the halls, and she went crazy. Like not homophobe crazy where she'd go out of bounds to humiliate them, but the kind of crazy where she failed her arms and cried "Yowee! OMG, too Sue-go-ee and Caw-wah-ee! Day-Sue!"

She said something along those lines and some other things that I refuse to remember.

What do those words mean anyway!?

Anyway, getting back to the matter at hand, I can't necessarily say I dislike her, but I'll admit that I find her very annoying to deal with. And now that I'm tired, and probably cranky, it's not the best time to deal with her and her squeaky 'Anna-May' blabber.

"OMG Konichiwa Lexi-Chan!" she squealed, already killing my nerves, but being too patient, I participated in the upcoming conversation anyway.

"Hi Karen, what can I help you with?" I replied groggily.

"Have you seen Onee-sama?" she tilted her head, letting her curly pigtails flip-flop.

"… What did you call me?"

"No! Baka! Desu! I'm talking about my sister, Samantha-sama." She explains, "Onee-sama means sister in Japanese!" she giggled. That last part seemed as if she was bragging.

"… No, Karen, I have not seen your sister. Why do you ask?"

"Well, Karen—

Wait! Did she refer to herself in 3rd person perspective!?

—was getting a little lonely…" she tapped her pouted lip with her manicured finger, shining her eyes at me. "But Karen thinks—

Lexi thinks this is ridiculous.

—That she'll hang around Lexi-chan!"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I was especially grumpy this morning, so it was a bit hard telling her to get lost the nice way.

"Karen?" I began numbly.

She tilted her head again, "Chu?" (what the heck?)

"I need to study for my test, don't you?" I peered at her with a doubtful glare… and the girl began to cry! And not just crying, I mean, as if she were having a tantrum, so I got gawked at by other students in the library who were studying at the time.

Whoops! I didn't mean to look that mean!

Warily, I glance at the poor girl who had waterfalls pouring out of her eyes. I tapped her lightly on the shoulder, "Karen, I'm sorry. I just wanted to study. I wasn't angry at you or anything." Though I was getting slightly aggravated at the time, I don't think that I'm generally easy to anger. I smiled at her reassuringly of the half-lie I emitted to her, and thankfully her rampant wailing died down into sobs.

"It's okay, Lexi-chan," she sniffled, "I'm just having a little trouble studying is all. I don't get it. Desu."

I sighed, "What are you studying for?" I ask her, repentantly.

"Science…"

"… I'm actually pretty good at science, so perhaps I can be of help to you." I offer, because I honestly didn't know what I was thinking. But it was relieving how fast she was to stop crying—with the power of kindness, of course.

Her eyes widened greatly—enough for me to see that she has coloured contacts in, but this time oddly coloured heterochromia with a tacky green and deformed red one.

I shuddered at eye contact.

"Would you do that for me, nyan-desu?" she batted her groomed eyelashes.

"… I guess it wouldn't hurt…"

But oh, it did hurt. It hurt very much! Where should I start, in short summary of course…?

In the library is where we both were, as I was secretly hoping that her sister would come by and take Karen away from me. Not only was she taking time away from me to study for my own exam, but she wouldn't even let me help her study for her own. She wasn't participating at all. She was just blabbering about her "Sharingan" contact lens and threatening me that if I pronounced "Sharingan" wrong again she'd use her "Sharingan Powers" to kick my butt, or something like that. And at first, I thought she was joking, but then I memorized the word "Sharingan" after I saw a deadly glint in her eye… desu.

I really wonder how Samantha deals with her shenanigans.

Continuing on, I had no time to my studies or her studies. That whole hour was about "Sharingan".

And it gets better.

I went to my written test, half-asleep. And out of the 100 questions on that exam, I answered nothing.

Nothing, as in, I forgot everything!

I handed in an empty test sheet!

Wait, it gets even better, here's the best part:

I passed out in the endurance exam! That's what they've told me in the infirmary. They said that I wiped out running down-hill in the school yard during the 'One Mile Marathon'.

And I remember tumbling down that hill faster than a hipster tumbles on Tumblr. It should have hurt, because I feel the strain in my neck right now, but I didn't because I was too tired and my body forced me to fall asleep. I'm lucky that my neck didn't break, that's for sure.

After all that, I think I'm starting to dislike Karen. But still, I managed to pass the course anyway, being the highest mark in the class. I can't be too mad about it. Maybe I just need sometime too cool off.

Which is pretty much what I did in the car; Joanna drove me home in my own vehicle today, while Samantha trailed behind to meet her at my place, we were all going to hang out at my place today. Just me, Joanna, Samantha and her sister Karen…

When I heard that Karen wanted to come and 'see my place*insert improper Japanese here*', I wanted to protest, but something in my conscience told me that wouldn't be very nice, so I let her come along anyway, trying to ignore her as best as I can. Not that she cared to talk to me with Samantha around; in fact, she didn't even care enough to ask about how my test went.

*Sigh*

And when we got to my house at 2:30, we did what we normally do every time we go to my house:
Go outside and bum around for 15 minutes, then play Super Smash Bros. on my Wii for the rest of the time they've got here. I told them that I wanted them out by seven because my 'grandma is coming'. But really it was because they were ignoring me for that stupid game, and I'm getting very bored.

Right now I have three hours to go with these weirdos, so I listened in on what they were talking about, without having to watch them, only having to prevent myself from laughing too hard:

"Wow, you know, Snake is too hot in here." I heard Joanna's fluttery giggle.

"Are you kidding?" Samantha guffawed, "Ike is super gorgeous. I'm going to play as him, since he's my best character."

Click click

"Really?" Joanna laughed, "I'm actually pretty good with Marth, so we'll have a Fire Emblem duel."

Click click

"Karen! Why did you put Joanna and I on Team Battle!?"

"Marth and Ike can't fight each other—they're too in love, nyan!"

"This was the same issue with Marth and Roy, Karen!"

"Yeah, but Roy couldn't stay with Marth. So, they broke up and Marth moved on with Ike, desu!"

"…What?"

"They're happily married, and have a son named Ness, which is who I'll be."

Click click

"What!?"

"Marth is also pregnant with an upcoming baby, desu"

"WHAT!?"

"Last time I played classic Fire Emblem, Marth is a prince, and marries his lover Caed—"

"—Ike! And we're going to put Ike's ex-girlfriend on the opposing team!"

Click click

"Peach!?"

"Yeah, desu! She cheated on Mario for Ike, and then cheated on Ike for Sonic… baka-slut."

"What the actual fu—"

"And they're going brawl it out in the Smash Mansion."

Click click

"… You mean Luigi's Mansion?"

"I quit!" Samantha throws her hands up in the air in frustration, making her way in my direction. "I'm chilling with Lexi."

Joanna follows her close behind, trying to get away from Karen, I'm guessing.

As grateful as I am to finally get attention from my friends, I'm not as excited. During the curriculum of high school, it has taken me from freshmen years until now to realize that we don't have anything in common, so it won't be long until they find something else to do on that videogame.

And just as mentioned before, they found something else to do before anything could have been said to me, because my little brother had walked in with the Wii U and the new Super Smash Bros. for said system. Mom follows in behind him and says hello to everyone in the room, before she leaves off into her own room.

You know, I haven't said a word since we got inside the house. I'm starting to think I'm too old for having friends over, because if friends are supposed to do ignore me the moment they spot something that they find interesting, then I personally find it very immature...

My friends and Karen had swarmed my little brother, who held the box in his arms, waddling over to the TV area to hook it up. That was the first time I've ever seen my brother this happy in a long time, so I have nothing to say in offence; just that I wish that I could be the one that makes him happy.

Everyone huddled around to set up the new gaming system and as for myself… I went to bed. Or at least that was my intention…

"Alexis." My brother called out from the living room, watching my friends plug in the machine.

"Yes, what do you need, Jordan?" I asked; swallowing down a lump in my throat.

"Plug in the router, I want to go online." He commanded, deadpan as ever.

Being that wonderful sister (and friend) that I am, I obliged without hesitancy. I didn't even roll my eyes, as much as I wanted to. I went into the office, unplugged and plugged in the router that hardly ever receives any sort of internet, zapping myself in the process (what I'd do for you to appreciate me, Jordan).

I left the office quietly, not to receive any acknowledgement from said brother when I passed by. Samantha seemed to notice me though.

"Hey, you're not staying with us? Where are you going?" She raises a brow cautiously. I didn't really want to tell her why.

Well hmm, could it be because I'm partially mad about being ignored at my own house by everyone over a dumb videogame, Samantha?

"I'm just really tired, right now." I tell her, half-heartedly, because I really am tired after pulling an all-nighter. I can honestly tell you now that I'm ready to pass out.

Karen turns to me, frowning, "Oh come on! You have to try this game! It's super sugoi, desu-ka!"

Also the fact that they just had to bring Karen along. This girl was the reason I failed the exam, so how can't I be mad?

Samantha defends me from her sister "Leave her alone Karen, she really needs her sleep." At the last part, she glared at her sister, silencing Karen from her screechy ritual of improper Japanese (or Korean? Chinese? I can't tell). Samantha coils to me sympathetically, "Yeah, go get some rest, Lexi, you definitely need it after all this. I'll text you later."

"Yeah, see ya later, sweet dreams!" Joanna followed up after, "I'll be sure to give you a call or something."

I nodded with a smile, knowing that they will. If there's anything to like about my friends, it's that they're fun to talk to on text message, problem being that I haven't seen my phone in three months. But I didn't bother telling her that.

I left them to carry on with my regular routine before going to bed: taking a shower and dressing in my ducky-covered onesee pajama (don't judge me), brushing my teeth—

—why is my phone in the medicine cabinet? I normally find the thing in really weird places like under the couch cushions, or maybe even in the fridge sometimes. But I never normally use the medicine cabinet.

I check my phone, only not to be surprised that the poor thing is dead. So dim-minded as I am normally, I amble over to my room and plop on my bed, without considering to charge my phone. I guess when you're tired and you see a bed, nothing really matters to you at the moment, not even a social life. To add insult to injury, I think I must have slept on my phone or something, not that I noticed anyway at the time. I fell asleep pretty quickly, actually, the moment I fell on the bed was the moment that my eyes closed by themselves...

Fully unaware that I was delving into probably the longest sleep in my life, what probably seemed like forever.

…

TO BE CONTINUED (Prologue)

That... was longer than what I have anticipated for. But if I'm going to be totally blunt, this is the closest thing that I have to an original story so far. So, I'm pretty excited to work with this story. Also, I know what you were probably thinking at that part with the dream that she had, and how cheesy it was. Well, hold onto your graters, because there's probably going to be more cheese coming your way.

Okay, where do I begin...Remember this part?

She's a nice girl and all… but she's kind of creepy. I remember this one time we passed a (good-looking) gay couple in the halls, and she went crazy. Like not homophobe crazy where she'd go out of bounds to humiliate them, but the kind of crazy where she flailed her arms and cried "Yowee! OMG, too Sue-go-ee and Caw-wah-ee! Day-Sue!"

She said something along those lines and some other things that I refuse to remember.

What do those words mean anyway!?

Anyway, getting back to the matter at hand, I can't necessarily say I dislike her, but I'll admit that I find her very annoying to deal with. And now that I'm tired, and probably cranky, it's not the best time to deal with her and her squeaky 'Anna-May' blabber.

Well, if you enunciate it, you'll notice that the words in bold italics are Alexis' depictions of weaboo blabber:

Yowee = Yaoi

Sue-go-ee = Sugoi

Caw-wah-ee = Kawaii

Day-Sue = Desu

Anna-May = Anime

Anyway, long story is long. Please let me know what you think by leaving a comment. I look forward to compliments or critiques, I appreciate both. Also, since this is a parody (mostly), I may or may not have offended someone without intending to, and if I did, please let me know, and I can try and arrange an for alternative effect.

Heed my warning, I may update slowly, given that University is, let me tell you, they give a heavy workload. But, if this story is thoroughly enjoyed, I will try and complete the story as best as I can.