characters

faith

kyle (guy faith wants)

mrs. deadmeme (math teacher)

ms. trashywhore (counselor)

mr. loser (band director)

ms. idgaf (school nurse)

faith's mom

ryan (kyles friend)

emmet (creepy guy)

mrs. imisstheoldkanye (lit teacher)

mrs. rawanus (chem teacher)

district judge

group of people

alondra (me!)

policemen

potato knish (asylum guy #1)

big willy ;) (asylum guy #2)

CLAMydia (clam with chlamydia/ asylum woman)

sophomore year

faith (thinking): okay. its the first day of high school. i have no friends, all i have is my trumpet and mediocre tone. since i have nowhere to go i might as well go to my first class.

bell rings

mrs. deadmeme: alright kiddos welcome to math class take ur seats bc i need to call role!

suddenly the door opens and a guy walks in. i look over at the door to see who it is and i suddenly get very horny. he is so hot. he sits down approximately 17 feet away from me. i know this because i counted the tiles on the floor.

mrs. deadmeme: alright im going to assign seats to u guys

i pull out my wallet and take out $20 and a bag of cocaine and walk up to the teacher.

faith (sliding the 20 and cocaine): please put me next to the hot guy that walked in

mrs. deadmeme: ooh damn girl u thirsty for that boy but ill put u next to him. thanks for the coke… faith sit here, kyle sit next to her

faith (thinking): wow his name is kyle thats such an original name

kyle (loudly): mrs. deadmeme why the hell do i have to sit next to this ugly nerd

mrs. deadmeme: she gave me a bag of cocaine so i could make u sit next to her, u know, she's really thirsty —

kyle: do u have any more coke

faith (shocked): you talked to me. oh my god.

i don't know what happened after that because i passed out because he talked to me

kyle: so do u have any coke?

faith (stuttering): y-yeah, here

kyle snorted the entire bag in less than a minute

faith: kyle do y—

kyle: why are you talking to me? i dont talk to nerds

i start to cry. i dont like to be called a nerd. thats why i left my old school. a mean girl told everyone that i masturbated with a hot dog. that was one time! how did she even find out? then everyone called me a slut. that didnt hurt me. what really hurt me and made me move is that people called me a nerd. nerd made me feel bad, like i was worthless, useless, a waste of space. i almost killed myself by taking all my meds but since i weigh 298 pounds i would have had to take 3 bottles so it could kill me. i go to the counseling office

ms. trashywhore (while smoking a cigarette): what do u want fatass

faith: my name is fai—

ms. trashywhore: i dont give a shit i asked what u wanted

faith: a boy called me a nerd

ms. trashywhore: i really dont care but if u want him to stop calling you that just succ his dick or something, thats what all guys want

faith: thanks for the advice *leaves* thinking: thats genius! why didnt i think of that? ill succ his dick tomorrow after school!

~6th period~

i go to band class. i take a seat and wait for the band director to start talking.

mr. loser: i wasted my life dont be a music major and keep in mind playing ur instrument wont impress anybody

faith (thinking): maybe i can play my trumpet to impress kyle!

~home~

faith: what should i play to impress kyle?

what does kyle like? i should stalk him on instagram to find out! but i dont have an instagram…ill make one…im going to make my username music_woman…oops its taken, ill add 99 to the end… there we go, time to find kyle…so he likes psychedelic music so ill play him something psychedelic!

~tomorrow in math~

mrs. deadmeme: i havent had my heroin so dont talk to me bc im gonna be shooting up

i brought my trumpet to math class so i can play the music i spent 2.5 hours perfecting just for kyle. i assemble my trumpet and approach kyle.

faith: hey kyle

kyle: what the fuck do u want u fatass skanky hoebag shithead bitch

i start playing my music and 2 measures in he pushes my trumpet in my mouth. my lips are bleeding. 3 of my teeth fall out. i run to the school nurse.

ms. idgaf: ooh damn bitch the fuck happened to u did u fall down the stairs or some shit

faith: no i tried to impress a boy but he doesnt like me

ms. idgaf: have u succed his dick yet

faith: no im going to today after school

ms. idgaf: ok hoe just make sure u succ him until his dick falls off and then u can use it as a dildo…heres a band aid, go back to class

faith: thanks for ur advice and the band aid!

~6th period~

mr. loser: all district and all state tryouts will be in like december or some shit give me $30 if u want to audition; $20 for registration fees an $10 so i can buy drugs and pay for prostitutes

faith: if i make all state that will make kyle fall in love with me! (gasp) im succing kyles dick after school! i should watch videos on how to give a blowjob.

~after school~

i find kyle with some other people talking and i approach him, mentally reviewing what i have learned about succing dick

faith: hey kyle i have something for u

kyle: damn! mrs. deadmeme was right. u r thirsty but what do u have

faith: a surprise!

i push him against a wall and get down to my knees. i pull down his pants and try to get him hard. it doesnt work. why am i not turning him on? i put his dick into my mouth and he is screaming and hitting me. i forget my mouth is still bleeding. it looks like i cut his dick off. i run home and cry.

faith's mom: faith why are u crying

faith: i tried to get a guy to like me so i tried playing my trumpet but that didnt work so i gave him a blow job but that didnt work either and i dont know what to do

faith's mom: wow i never thought my daughter would be such a hoe! but idk if u already sucked his dick and he hasnt even liked u a little bit you cant really do anything else to make him like u sorry kid!

i continue to cry and eventually fall asleep

~the next morning~

i get ready and get to school. i go to math class and everyone throws grapes at me! i collect the grapes and put them in a bag to eat later. everyone calls me a fugly slut that cant even get a guy hard and makes fun of me because i am missing 3 teeth.

mrs. deadmeme: stop making fun of faith what did she do to deserve this?

ryan: she tried to succ kyle's dick but couldnt even get him hard and got blood all over him

mrs. deadmeme: ha! what a fucking loser! continue making fun of her she does deserve it

i run out of the room and go to ms. trashywhore, she always knows what to do!

faith (crying): ms. trashywhore! i took ur advice to succ his dick but i couldnt even get him hard now everyones making fun of me!

ms. trashywhore: well obviously he doesnt like u so id suggest u do the same and not like urself bc ur gonna be an outcast for the rest of ur sophomore year. try homeschooling

faith: i cant! i have to make all state!

~6th period~

mr. loser: none of u r good so im not even going to teach. do what ever u want.

i take this time to practice my etude and scales. everyone tells me i sound bad and shouldnt even audition. the band director comes out of his office.

mr. loser: what is that nasty sound oh my god

i was the only one playing, everyone else was talking or playing on their phones.

faith: it was me, sorry

mr. loser: what the fuck are u doing? get the fuck out of my class room u sound like shit and wont even make the first round of auditions why r u even trying out. goddamn… its because of that kyle kid isnt it? the news spread like wild fire. everyone knows u tried to succ his dick but couldnt even get him hard

i pack up and run out the room. how does the band director even find out about drama? hes always sitting in his office drinking and doing meth. i run to the bathroom and cry in one of the stalls. after a minute i hear a voice

boy: yo dude r u okay?

i stop crying realizing no one has ever cared for my feelings. no one has asked me how i was doing or if i was okay. i then realize im in the boys bathroom.

faith: yeah and i also accidentally came into the wrong bathroom

i unlock the stall and see the boy. he is somewhat ugly. i just stand there like an idiot.

boy: hey my name is emmet, whats urs

faith: im faith

emmet (formerly known as boy) : nice, well im gonna take a shit, someone put laxatives in my water, c u later faith

i get out of the bathroom and realize hes the only person thats ever talked to me and hasnt made fun of me. i wonder if well be friends.

~the next day~

i go to math and avoid kyle. i dont know if i still like him anymore…

kyle: mrs. deadmeme, can i sit somewhere else

mrs. deadmeme: do u have any coke?

kyle: no…

mrs. deadmeme: then thats ur answer

kyle throws a chair across the room. class continues.

~second period (lit)~

mrs. imisstheoldkanye: alright for ur warm up write a story. im not going to take this up but some of you may have to read your story aloud to the class.

i immediately know what im going to write about. i begin writing and quickly get my ideas down.

~25 minutes later~

mrs. imisstheoldkanye: alright im going to pick a random person to read their story aloud… faith, read yours

i dont know what to do. should i say no? actually, fuck it im going to read it. i have nothing to lose anyway.

faith: before i begin, this is not about me in any way. *ahem*

hope pushed kile against the wall and whispered, "i want you so bad right now baby." kile shoved her down on the bed and pulled off her shirt as fast as he could, revealing her AAA sized boobs. he put her 1 and a half inch penis in his mouth and began to move back and forth. she moaned at the top of her lungs, "oh yep! harder, faster! yep! yep!" then i- oh oops i mean- then hope spread my- her legs on the bed and kyle shoved in his 7 foot penis from across the room. then-

mrs. imisstheoldkanye: THATS ENOUGH WHAT THE FUCK CLASS DISMISSED

~6th period~

i walk into the room and i cant see anything because mr. loser has been smoking so much that the entire room was filled with smoke. after about a minute of breathing in the smoke, i get high. im lame so ive never done drugs before so i passed out almost immediately.

~later~

i wake up in ms. idgaf's office and i look in the mirror and realize half the hair on my head has been forcefully ripped off.

ms. idgaf: bitch do u even know how u got here? some ugly nerd ripped ur hair out while dragging u here. ur a weak ass bitch so u couldnt stand the weed. u passed out and the guy who dragged u here ripped ur hair out to do some sort of voodoo shit on ur ass.

faith: who was it

ms. idgaf: idk it was some nasty ass creepy guy i think his name was emily?

faith: was his name emmet

ms. idgaf: yeah thats the one. ooh emmets a creepy ass name be careful with that boy

my mom takes me home and i make a shrine for kyle. i hear tapping on my window and go to see what it is. its emmet throwing rocks at my window! i open the window to tell him to fuck off but he didnt see me and he threw a big rock at me and it broke my nose and dislocated my tooth.

faith: what the fuck!?

emmet: sorry, babe. do u want me to kiss it to make it feel better.

faith: get the fuck off of my yard u skanky hoebag slut cunt bitch

emmet: ok but i have this

emmet pulls out a voodoo doll. its a sex doll with my hair on it! why is that boy so creepy? he rips the clothes off the sex doll and mines came off too. he started to fuck the voodoo doll. i looked in the mirror and notice my asshole expanding and contracting. this continues for about 10 minutes and i feel fluid being released inside of me but luckily i just felt it. my mom walks in.

faith's mom: what the fuck is happening to ur asshole

faith: voodoo magic

my mom just stands there shocked. i cant tell emmet to stop because hes too far away. my mom stands there confused.

faith: mom stop get ur ugly ass self out of here.

emmet stops fucking me in the asshole and leaves

~the next day~

i am sore in places i didnt even know i could be sore. i go to math and lit and the same thing happens. i get bullied and dont learn anything. i then go to chem.

mrs. rawanus: ok we are going to have a project! ur going to have 2 weeks to prepare a presentation and talk about the chemical makeup of an element.

i know exactly what im going to do. i start to work on it

~2 weeks later~

mrs. rawanus: ok class time to present ur fucking shitty ass projects. faith go first

i eagerly stand up and go to the front of the class with my powerpoint pulled up

faith: i did my project on the chemical make up of semen. i have cups of semen for everybody! the chemical makeup of semen is —

my pants and shirt suddenly fly off! i drop on all fours and i feel something familiar enter me.

faith: not again! im still sore from 2 weeks ago.

mrs. rawanus and the class simultaneously: WHAT THE FUCK

why did emmet have to do this now? a lot of kyle's friends are filming me being fucked. this is so embarrassing! after about 5 minutes of penetration i get up and continue my presentation.

faith (out of breath): the chemical makeup of semen isenzymes, citric acid, lipids, and acid phosphatase. thank you.

~2 months later~

kyle: faith can i borrow $20 to buy crack

faith: why do u only talk to me when u need things

kyle: please faith its urgent

faith: ill give u $20 if u will be my friend

kyle: ok sure what ever

i give him $20 and i cant believe it! kyle is my friend! wow i never thought this day would come! im going to eat lunch with him tomorrow. he sits outside and snorts coke with his friends. i know this because i stalked him.

~5th period (french)~

emmet: hey faith! i talked to the counselor and she said i could change my classes so i can have them all with u!

i run out of the room and go to ms. trashywhore's office

faith: ms. trashywhore! what the fuck!

ms. trashywhore: damn bitch calm the fuck down! what r u talking about

faith: why would u change emmet's classes to be the same as mine? hes a creepy stalker and uses a voodoo sex doll on me

ms. trashywhore: oops well i cant change any of his classes because of some fucking rule or something like one year a kid changed their schedule like every week and now only 1 schedule change is allowed

faith: can i use that schedule change right now?

ms. trashywhore: no because u used it in the beginning of the year. the band director moved u to the lowest band

i go back to french class, knowing this year is going to suck ass

~6th period~

emmet plays trumpet like me. he is second to last chair because the band director thinks hes better than me. he plays a couple of notes and he sounds worse than me!

emmet: can u teach me how to play trumpet

faith: WHY THE FUCK ARE U SO CREEPY WHY CANT U LEAVE ME ALONE I DONT LIKE U UR FUCKING UGLY AND I HAVE NEVER LIKED U UR SO ANNOYING AND WHY DO U KEEP FUCKING ME WITH THAT VOODOO DOLL EVERYONES BULLYING ME BECAUSE OF U AND UR SO DESPERATE OH MY GOD GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME I NEVER WANT TO SEE U EVER AGAIN IF U EVER COME NEAR ME I WILL FUCKING CALL THE COPS ON U OH MY FUCKING GOD I HATE YOU I WILL NEVER LIKE U STOP TALKING TO ME OH MY GOD UGH

emmet: damn chill

i punch him the face 4 times and go home because i am tired of everyones bullshit

~the next day, 1st period~

mrs. deadmeme: everyone shut up i gotta make an announcement. yall know that fuck boy kyle that makes fun of faith? yeah he got malaria or some shit and hes in the hospital and if u wanna see him u can go

now's my chance! i can confess my love to kyle while hes in the hospital and he'll be too weak to do anything!

~after school~

i go to the hospital to see kyle. i go to the front desk and ask if i can see kyle. the lady said that i am prohibited from seeing him because i would prevent him from getting better because i am cancerous. i go home.

~1 month later~

mrs. deadmeme: so i have to make another announcement that kyle died of malaria his funeral is this sunday

i run to the bathroom and start to cry. i cant believe the love of my life died! and the day before district tryouts! i cannot believe this! i was his friend! i look around the bathroom and realize i am in the wrong bathroom. i start to walk out then emmet comes in. great…

emmet: i know u really liked kyle and i just wanted to let u know that if u need anything u can talk to me

faith (annoyed): thanks emmet

i walk out of the bathroom and go back to class

~6th period~

mr. loser: so district tryouts are tomorrow but i dont expect any of u to make it so yeah i dont believe in any of u idc if u fuck up ur audition

i take mr. loser's words of encouragement and i feel more confident

~audition day~

wow there are a lot of people here! and they all sound better than me! how will i make all state? i HAVE to. for kyle… i warm up and stand in line for the audition… the boy sitting there calls me in and i warm up and start to play my scales

district judge (walking from the screen to me): oh my fucking god stop stop oh my god…you sound like shit, please get out i cant let u make district u sound so bad oh god

faith: what! what can i do to make district?

the judge looks down at his pants. i know exactly what he means. if thats the only way ill make all state ill do it. for kyle. i give him a blow job. it was really nasty because he was like 800 years old and his dick was really wrinkly…i leave the room knowing i made it to the second round but not knowing my score or chair placement. i hope i make first or second chair!

~sunday (kyle's funeral)~

i wear everything black and put on eyeliner and mascara to complete the emo look. its an open casket funeral so i can see my friend and love of my life. emmet is here too, great! i make sure to sit far away from him so he doesnt see me crying. the funeral service is done and i go to the casket. an idea pops into my head. i shouldnt do it but i must. when i go up to the casket i cut his dick off. i will use it as a dildo.

~1 week and 1 day later~

it is lunch time so i eat lunch. i have an apple and while i am eating it i drop it! i dont pick it up and a couple of minutes later emmet comes.

emmet: hey faith i ju—

emmet trips on the partially eaten apple and hits his head on the edge of the table. there is blood everywhere. i think he is dead.

faith: ooh that bitch is finally dead! ive been hoping for this day since i met him!

ms. idgaf: oh my god what happened?!

faith: that stupid ass bitch tripped on an apple and died.

ms idgaf: HA! what a fucking nerd…faith, help me bury the body or the schools going to get in trouble

i help her clean up the blood bury the body under the football field so i can march on his grave. i dont plan on going to his funeral, if there even is one.

~6th period~

i notice there is a paper on the board and i look at it. its the district band list! i made 8th chair! :0 im behind some nerd named alondra ortega. i wonder who that is. firs chair is katherine lang and second is alvin lee. i should have given a better blow job. one of those chairs were supposed to be for me. luckily i made it to the second round, so i better get practicing!

~all state tryouts~

almost the exact same thing that happened at district tryouts happened at all state tryouts! it was even the same judge! i of course had to give him a bj so i could get in. he came so i think i did a good job. i also gave him my meth and $12

~4 days later~

i made all state! i dont know what chair since i cant count that high. katherine lang made a couple of chairs higher than me. alvin lee made 1st chair orchestra! alondra ortega did not make it :(

~district band~

i'm so excited for district band! i got there early so i could meet people.

faith (to group of people): hey! im faith

group of people: get the fuck away from us

i sit in my chair and start to practice for about half an hour…after that a large group of people come in. some of them are trumpets. somebody comes near me and sits next to me. i know she is alondra ortega

(all dialogue between alondra and faith are real)

faith: wow finally another girl

alondra: fuck off im not a girl

faith (thinking): damn whats ur problem

i look over to the first trumpets. i see katherine lang and alvin lee. they dont deserve those spots! i do! … we are playing really easy pieces. throughout rehearsal i stare at katherine lang. i do not plan to talk to her, im too scared.

~day 2 of district~

we practiced like normal but alondra is always on her phone. why wont she get off of it? i continue to stare at katherine lang.

faith: ugh im so bored

alondra (under breath): am i supposed to do something about that

why they so sassy damn

~lunch time~

i eat lunch

~after lunch time~

i go back to practice and notice alondra is missing! where did they go? everyone else from lambert is here! i begin to worry and then miss them.

~later~

i hear the door open and look. its alondra! i am so happy! alondra is back! i dont say anything when they come back in fear of sass and rejection.

~performance day~

wow im so sad district is almost over. i hope i can come back next year. during the warm up before the concert alondra had a coughing fit. what a nerd! the performance went okay. it would have been better if i didnt miss every note.

~all state band~

i kick a boy 3 times and see katherine lang again.

disclaimer: i did not go to all state band so i dont really know what to write about bc i dont know what happened and no one told me anything ;/

~1 week later~

i remember that i still have kyles severed dick in my possesion and decide to use it. i shove it up my pussy and my door opens

faith's mom: WHAT THE FUCK

faith: get out slut! i am masturbating with kyles dick!

faith's mom: KYLE IS DEAD THO

faith: i know, i cut his dick off at the funeral.

my mom pulls out her phone and goes to another room. i dont know what she is saying bc i cant hear. i hear police cars come and the police men come into my house. they take me away and put me into the car and drive off

faith: where r u taking me

policeman: an insane asylum, where u belong.

faith: why do i have to go there

policeman: boi u fucking cut off a dead guys dick to use as a dildo!

he takes me to an asylum. i go into my room and realize i share it with 3 other people: 2 men and another woman.

potato knish: im potato knish, i cut off peoples ears and ate them

CLAMydia: im CLAMydia, i kidnap people and make their skin into lamp shades and eat their flesh and have chlamydia

big willy ;): im big willy ;). i posted illegal memes on the deep web

faith: im faith, i cut off a guys dick and used it as a dildo

CLAMydia: ooooh damn girl u fucking stupid… how old r u

faith: 16

CLAMydia: ooh yeah ur gonna die real quick

~night~

i go to sleep and hear someone get on my bed. i feel something familiar enter me. it was irl, not from a voodoo sex doll.

faith (thinking): oh dang i know how this is going to end up

i look back and its CLAMydia! shes going to give me chlamydia! i try to get away but its too late…

faith has died due to chlamydia since she is a weak ass bitch like everyone who has died in this story. the asylum people throw her body in the back and dont give her a funeral. nobody cares that she died. at school, people had a faith has died party and the world became a better place

rip in peace faith dement 1999-2016