Botans Dictionary:

Vacation: Something that is supposed to be FUN!!!!

Sunburn-a really painful burn from the sun on any part of the body that can make a grown man cry like a baby.

Aloe Gel- the best damn invention in the world.

Story Title: Sunburn

Pairing: Rude + Reno(ha-ha! fire crotch!)

Rated: M because Botan has a really dirty mouth.

Warning: obviously at least minor yaoi. Horrible language. Humor. OOC-ness(on Rude's part). And some of that icky gooey mushy-ness that's been sticking to me.

Summary: Our two favorite Turks go on vacation. It's just too bad fates a bitch that wants to torture the hell out of everyone.

A/N: I wrote this in around 10-15 minutes. Its for Schuldig89 because she likes a good laugh. I'm beginning to wonder whether or not I should stick with humor and hide from serious crap…I obviously don't have the knack for it. The term Fire Crotch gives full credit to my baby sister Nejisangel69. If you can't figure out what a fire crotch is, you are waaaay too innocent to be reading my fics. I wanna give a shout out to yuuri1991 because she deals with me staying up all night due to insomnia and doesn't even try to kill me…much. ENJOY!!!!!

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Reno. Was. Pissed. No, Reno was beyond pissed. And, damnit, Rude was taking forever to get back. Seriously, how long does it take to get a stupid bottle of fucking lotion? The worst part was that Reno wasn't allowed to move. Hell, he couldn't move more than an inch if he wanted to. Who in their right fucking mind takes a RED HEAD WITH FAIR SKIN(1) to a hot ass island and sits on a hot ass beach for 3 hours straight on a vacation?

Three hours that could've been used in bed, which is where Reno would have liked to stay. Never mind, stupid question. Mr. 'I-Already-Have-A-Tan-So-I-Can't-Burn' Rude. Well, Reno could take half the credit, but not out loud, because he agreed. He thought it would be like other vacations in which they only left the bed for food and bathroom breaks. Reno breaks out of his reverie and glances over when the door opens. He sighs in relief when he sees the bottle of green gel in Rude's hand.

"It's gonna sting a little and feel cold…so don't freak…" Rude says softly, sitting on the bed by Reno.

"Why the hell did you talk me into coming here? If you wanna break up, just tell me, yo. Don't try to kill me or turn me into a gigantic lobster(2)." Reno complains.

"This was as much your idea as mine genius…you wanted to try and tan."

"psh…I was kidding…I thought we'd just have sex all weekend…" Reno moans. " And how was I to know that SPF 70 isn't high enough to protect my skin tone?(3) It's one of the highest proof of sun block…this sucks, yo."

"I still think you're hott…even if you match your hair color…" Rude says, rubbing the aloe on Reno's back.

Reno hisses." Holy Shit. Why is that so cold?"

"I just pulled it from the fridge…it'll help cool the burn faster."(4) Rude explains.

Reno moans. "Oh…well it's working… oh…you have magical hands…that feels so good…"

"You always tell me I have magical hands…and I'm finished…try to get some rest and don't move…"Rude says.

"mm-kay…and Rude? This burn was definitely worth spending this time with you…" Reno mumbles before falling asleep.

Rude smiles slightly before leaving the room. Next time, he'd make reservations in Icicle so Reno would beg to stay in bed the whole weekend.

FIN!!!!!

1. Yes…I have a lot of experience…as a red-head with a skin tone of porcelain/ivory, I have dealt with sunburns my whole life.

2. Ha-ha…true story…put on SPF 60, was outside 30 minutes playing with my niece, and I was burnt so bad I couldn't move without crying.

3. …another true story…went to band camp for a week, forgot my sun block for maybe 30 minutes, and went home as red as a lobster…it was my nickname for my last 3 years in marching band.

4. It's true…when it's been in the fridge, it soothes the burn faster.

Little Suggestion--if you get a sunburn, do not be ashamed to cry like a baby…I've had 21 years experience and I still cry like a baby. And make VERY good use of that aloe…it'll become your best friend.

AND REMEMBER! THE SUN IS EVIL…YOU SHOULD HIDE IF IT'S AVOIDABLE!